老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E16
Part 3
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:33 p.m.
What about your spare pants?
你的备用裤子呢
Last Thursday, the mustard incident?
上周四的芥末事件记得吗
Jeez, woman, you have the memory of a goldfish.
天啊 莉莉 你的记忆力就跟金鱼一样
No, Ted, you're not getting off that easy.
不行 泰德 你不能就那么轻易脱身了
Marshall's pants story, while amusing...
马修裤子的故事 虽然滑稽
Amusing? Try very amusing.
那叫滑稽吗 那叫相当滑稽
...is nothing compared to this Karen madness.
但跟疯狂的凯伦比起来 简直小巫见大巫
Finish your story.
把你的故事讲完
What? That's it. It was just one kiss in the restaurant.
怎么 就这么多 我们就在餐馆里亲了亲小嘴
Why did you say "in the restaurant"?
你干嘛要强调"在餐馆里"
Did you kiss somewhere else?
你们还在别处亲嘴了吗
Like where, in a tree?
还能在哪 在树上吗
No, Lily, we did not make out in a tree.
不 莉莉 我们才没有在树上亲热呢
What's with this one?
这位有什么毛病
Oh, Ted. What did you do?
泰德啊 你到底干了些什么
Ted, how could you?
泰德 你怎么能这样
Ted, Marshall forgot to bring his pants to work today,
泰德 虽然马修今天上班忘了带裤子
and you're still the stupidest person at this table.
但你还是在座的人里最蠢的一个 没有之一
Okay, Lily, let's be honest.
行啦 莉莉 咱打开天窗说亮话吧
We both know your real motivation here.
你真正的动机是什么 咱俩都心知肚明
You hate Karen because she lingered.
你讨厌凯伦 是因为她流连忘返了
You son of a bitch.
你个小混球
What do you mean she lingered?
什么叫她流连忘返了
February 5th, 1998. I was painting...
1998年2月5日 我正在画画
Sorry. I... Sorry. I...
抱歉 我... 抱歉 我...
You know, that color palette
知道吗 你的调色板
is a bit derivative of early Van Gogh,
有点模仿早期梵•高的风格
don't you think?
你不觉得吗
Cheat on Ted, criticize my painting,
背着泰德乱搞 批评我的画作
whatever, that's your business.
随她的便 那是她自己的事儿
But I catch you peeping on my man's junk and you linger?
但是让我抓到她偷看我男人的鸟 还看得不想走了
You gots to get got.
丫真是活腻了
The game is the game.
认真你就输了
In Karen's defense, I had just worked out.
容我为凯伦辩护一句 那时我刚锻炼完身体
Why'd you have to paint Marshall nude anyway?
你当时为什么要画马修的裸体像啊
Because he ate my bowl of fruit.
因为他吃了我的水果
Look, the point is, Karen is a dirty lingerer,
重点是 凯伦是一个下流而忘返的人
and you cannot bring her back into our lives.
你不能把她带回我们的生活里来
Relax, it was just that one night!
别紧张 不过是一夜春宵
And the next three after that. And one morning.
其实那之后还有三夜 外加一个早晨
But at least I had pants on, Marshall.
不过我至少穿了裤子 马修
Although, actually, I didn't.
好吧 其实我没穿
Wait, this happened in our apartment? Mmmhmm.
等会儿 你俩是在咱们的公♥寓♥里乱搞的 是啊
Where was I?
那会儿我在哪
You know those sleeping pills you're taking
记得你吃的那些帮你调整
to keep on your crazy new schedule?
疯狂新生物钟的安♥眠♥药♥吗
I think they're stronger than you realize.
我想它们的药效要比你想的要强烈
LaFontaine gets the puck to Turgeon.
拉方丹把球传给了特金
Turgeon shoots. Glove save.
特金射门 守门员接住了
Hey, Ted. Hey, Lily.
嘿 泰德 嘿 莉莉
Don't worry. I won't tell Marshall.
放心吧 我不会告诉马修的
I'm gonna grab a beer. You want one?
我去拿瓶啤酒 你要不要也来一瓶
Beer!
啤酒
I'll start decanting the Bordeaux.
我去倒点波尔多吧
Ted, sure it's fun to look back at a time
泰德 偶尔回忆下当你还是个
when you were a fresh-faced farm girl with a virgin's glow.
满面春光的村姑时候的事 是挺有意思的
But all that stuff, Ohio, Karen, college...
但是所有的这些 俄亥俄啦 凯伦啦 大学啦
All that was BS. "Before Stinson."
这些都是"巴前"的事儿 "巴尼前时代"
Now your life is awesome!
现在你的生活棒极了
I mean, yeah, you still live
我是说 没错 你现在还跟
with your ex-girlfriend, which is ridiculous.
前女友住一块儿一事甚是荒唐
Your Laser Tag chops are almost nonexistent.
你激光枪上的标记也快没了
And your wardrobe, it's like,
你再看看你那衣柜 就好像
what, are you allergic to quality fabrics?
怎么着 难道你对优质面料过敏吗
Seriously, Ted, shape up.
说真的 泰德 有点人样儿吧
What were we talking about?
我们在说什么来着
So what's next with this broad?
你接下来打算跟这女的怎么办
Oh, please, the story's already written.
拜托 故事早就写好了
Ted is Charlie Brown
泰德就是查理•布朗
trying to kick the football and Karen's Lucy,
一心想踢到那个球 而凯伦是露西
who pulls it away at the last second and has sex with it.
她最后抢走了球 然后把球干了
Eww. Eww. Eww.
恶心死了 恶心死了 恶心死了
You guys know what I mean. Ted's gonna fall in love,
你们知道我在说什么 泰德会陷入爱河
and then Karen's gonna cheat on him
接着凯伦会背叛他
with some meathead, who's like, "Sorry, bro. "
和那些只会说"抱歉 老兄"的混球乱搞
Wrong, wrong, wrong!
错 错 错
You must have left the right answer in your pants, Marshall,
你肯定把正确答案落在你的裤子里了 马修
because that's exactly what didn't happen.
因为你说的刚好就是没有发生的事
Because here's what happened.
因为以下才是事情的原委
One afternoon, we were at Karen's place...
一天下午 我们在凯伦的家里...
Karen? Oh, my God.
凯伦 噢 我的天哪
How could you?
你怎么能这样
Sorry, bro.
抱歉 老兄
So, this time, the meathead Karen was cheating with...
所以说 这次和凯伦出轨的混球
was me, Ted. Me...
是我 泰德 我
Te...
泰...
Remember that time Marshall forgot his pants?
记得那次马修忘带裤子的事儿吗
Damn it, Ted!
妈的 泰德
You quit trying to change the subject. You crossed the line.
你不能再像这样转移话题了 你越线了
You are complicit in breaking some poor guy's heart.
在这件令那男的无比伤心的事儿里 你也有份
And you, you of all people know exactly how that feels.
而你 是所有人里最明白其中滋味的
You really don't wanna tell the pants story, do you?
你是真的不想讲你裤子的故事了 是吧
What? Pants, pants, pants, pants...
什么 裤子 裤子 裤子 裤裤裤...
Fine! Okay?
我讲 行了吧
So, Lily came down to the office to bring me my pants.
莉莉到办公室来给我送裤子
And why did she have to do that? Because I forgot my pants.
她为什么要这么做呀 因为我忘带裤子了
Lily, what are you doing here?
莉莉 你来这儿干什么
I'm here to give Marshall something.
我来给马修送点东西
Here to give him something. Gotcha. Nice.
来给他送东西啊 懂了 不错嘛
Yeah, but I'm in a hurry. Can I just give it to you?
是啊 但我赶时间 我能不能直接给你
Sure, okay.
当然...可以了
And then you'll give it to him?
然后你再把它给马修
Wait, ho, hey. I don't know about all that.
哦 等等 嘿 这个我就不太明白了
I mean, yours would have to be really good.
我是说 那你的活一定要非常厉害才行
What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
你在说什么呢 你在说什么呢
Marshall forgot his pants, so I'm bringing him a new pair.
马修忘带裤子了 所以我来给他送裤子
Huh. Marshall forgot his pants.
噢 马修忘带裤子了啊
Well, it's a good thing that you came by
你可真是及时雨
because he has a really important meeting today,
因为他今天有个很重要的会议
and it would be pretty embarrassing and not at all funny
如果他没穿裤子就去
if he were to show up not wearing pants.
一定会特别尴尬 而且一点也不好笑
So, I'll make sure he gets these. Great. Thanks, Barney.
我保证会把裤子给他的 好的 谢谢 巴尼
And you didn't give him his pants.
然后你没给他裤子
Theodore Evelyn Mosby.
西奥多•伊芙琳•莫斯比
Of course I gave him his pants.
我当然把裤子给他了
I gave Lily my word. My word is oak.
我向莉莉保证过的 我说话算话
Though I did make some alterations.
不过 我确实把裤子稍稍改了改
Now, as you'll see on page 44 of the contract...
现在 正如你们在合同第44页所看到的
Hey, Eriksen, when did you join AC/DC?
嘿 艾瑞克森 你什么时候加入了AD/DC乐队呀
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
哈 哈 哈 哈
Now, can we please just turn to page 44 of the contract?
现在 我们能翻到合同的第44页吗
Hey, Eriksen, I think
嘿 艾瑞克森 貌似
the Oliver Twist auditions are down the hall!
《雾都孤儿》的试镜是在楼下吧
Hey, Eriksen, "Please, sir, may I have some more pants?"
嘿 艾瑞克森 "拜托 先生 能再多给我点裤子吗"
More pants!
再来点裤子
Oh, my God!
哦 我的天哪
That's it? That's the whole story?
这就完了 这就是故事的全部吗
So what happened with Karen? I'll finish it for you.
那你和凯伦怎么样了 我来给你把故事讲完
Ted left without saying anything
泰德一句话没说就离开了
and Karen got exactly what she wanted.
而凯伦刚刚好得到了她想要的
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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