老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E15
Part 1
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:33 p.m.
Barney, check it,
巴尼 快看
three blond babies drinking bad decision juice at 8 o'clock.
八点钟方向有三个金发美女喝醉了
Nice rack radar.
雷达不错嘛
That's my wife. No, I got to get going.
那是我老婆哟 不行 我要走了
Seriously? But they're blond and drunk.
不是吧 她们可是喝醉了的金发美女啊
Isn't that your type?
这不是你喜欢的类型吗
Maybe I don't have a type, Lily.
没准我没有固定类型呢 莉莉
God, do you think the male mind is really that simplistic,
天呐 你不会认为男人的脑子这么简单吧
that we all have one favorite type? Jeez.
竟然以为我们都有某种最喜欢的类型 天呐
Asian with some boob.
胸大的亚洲妹子
I'm gonna hit the bathroom, then bail.
我要去趟卫生间 然后闪人
Okay, have you guys noticed Barney's been acting weird lately?
你们有没有注意到巴尼最近怪怪的
Actually, yes.
确实有
You know how Barney always says never buy a girl flowers,
记不记得巴尼总说永远不要给女孩子买♥♥花
because giving her a living thing reminds her of babies?
因为送有生命的东西会让她们想到宝宝
Sure. Well, the other day,
当然 可是 有一天
I saw him at that flower shop on 82nd buying roses.
我看到他在82号♥大街的花店买♥♥玫瑰花
What? Wait, now that you mention it,
什么 等一下 你提出来我才发觉
Barney did do something kind of odd at the office yesterday.
昨天巴尼在办公室做了一些很奇怪的事
Okay, see you Saturday.
好的 周六见
I'm thinking brunch, farmer's market, maybe a hike.
我在想早午餐 农贸市场 或者徒步旅行
I love you, too. Bye.
我也爱你 拜拜
I figured he was just talking to some girl he was trying to nail.
我以为他是在跟想泡的女孩说话
Or Ted, but now I don't know.
或者跟泰德 但是现在我不确定了
Wait, do you think it's
等一下 你们觉得
possible that Barney Stinson has a girlfriend?
有没有可能 巴尼有女朋友了
Later.
等会见
Wait, Barney, hold on. Where are you going?
等下 巴尼 先别走 你要去哪儿啊
Nowhere.
不去哪儿
The beach. It's winter. Laser tag.
去海滩 现在是冬天 去玩真人激光枪
Home. Shut up. You're going somewhere.
回家 闭嘴 你才要去哪儿
Oh, my God. He's meeting her right now.
天呐 他现在正要去见她
Where is Barney going? Yeah.
巴尼到底要去哪 对啊
We're not even in Manhattan anymore.
我们现在都不在曼哈顿了
Where's this girl live?
这个女孩住哪啊
We're talking about a woman
我们在讨论的这个女孩
who's actually gotten Barney Stinson to commit.
竟然真的让巴尼•斯丁森安定下来了
I'm guessing Narnia.
我猜住在纳尼亚吧
Oh, oh, he's stopping.
噢 他停车了
What the hell are you guys doing here? Where is she?
你们来这儿干什么 她在哪
Who? Your girlfriend.
谁 你的女朋友
Oh, hello.
哦 你们好啊
Wow, you really don't have a type, do you?
哇 你真的没有固定类型啊 是吧
Eh... They're my friends.
呃 他们是我朋友
Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin.
泰德 马修 莉莉 罗宾
Guys, this is Loretta.
各位 这是洛蕾塔
My mom. It's so nice to meet you.
我妈 很高兴见到你们
I feel like I already know you all.
感觉好像已经认识你们很久了
Barney goes on and on about you every day when we talk.
每天我们聊天时巴尼都不停地聊你们的事
Aw! You call your mom every day?
哇 你每天都给你妈打电♥话♥啊
No. Mom!
不是的 妈
So that's what you were being all secretive about?
所以你最近举止才这么神秘吗
You didn't want us to know you're a big old mama's boy.
你是不想让我们知道你是妈妈的乖宝宝
Yep, you got me. Well, guess you guys can leave.
没错 你们猜对了 现在可以走了吧
Oh!
啊
Hello. Hi.
你们好 嗨
Barney, who are all these people?
巴尼 这些人是谁呀
Ted, Marshall, Lily, Robin, I'd like you to meet Betty,
泰德 马修 莉莉 罗宾 这位是贝蒂
my wife.
我妻子
And my son Tyler.
还有我儿子泰勒
Betty and I are gonna get dinner ready.
贝蒂和我去准备饭菜了
There'll be plenty for everyone.
量很多 人人有份
But remember, you,
但是记住 你
only one helping of meatloaf after what Dr. Grossbard said
只能吃一份烘肉卷 因为格罗斯巴德医生说
about your cholesterol. This one wants me to live forever.
你的胆固醇过高 这位打算让我长生不老呢
Guilty.
不好意思啦
I love you. I love you, too.
我爱你 我也爱你
I love you three! Get out of here, you little scamp!
我爱你们仨 一边玩儿去 小调皮
So, I'll see you guys back at the bar? What the hell, Barney?
那 回头酒吧见吧 巴尼 你在搞什么鬼
Okay, it's a long story.
这个说来话长
As you know, my father had to leave my mom
你们知道 我父亲在我很小的时候
when I was a baby because
就离开了我妈妈
he got hired as the host of The Price Is Right.
因为他被"价格猜猜猜"雇用了
It was a very good show. Bob Barker is your father.
很棒的节目 鲍勃•巴克就是你♥爸♥
She had to raise my brother and me by herself.
她不得不单独抚养我和哥哥
And her only wish was for her sons
她对自己儿子唯一的愿望就是
not to wind up alone, like she was.
不要像她一样最后孤独一人
Then about seven years ago, she got really sick.
然后大约七年前 她病得很重
It looked like she wasn't going to make it.
几乎都要挺不过去了
So I decided to make her wish come true.
所以我决定让她愿望成真
Mom, this is Betty.
妈妈 这是贝蒂
We're engaged.
我们订婚了
I hired an actress to play my fiance "Betty. "
我雇用了一个女演员扮演我的未婚妻"贝蒂"
Her real name's Margaret.
她的真名是玛格瑞特
She mostly does off-Broadway theater. Wonderful actress.
她主要在外百老汇剧院演出 是个很棒的女演员
This close to a Tony. It's all who you know.
离托尼奖就一步之遥 你们都知道是谁
It's very political. I shouldn't get into it.
太多明争暗斗了 我不该讨论这个
But there's one problem.
只是有个问题
Betty has a slight tendency to go off-book.
贝蒂有点喜欢不按剧本随意发挥
You see, Mom? I found someone who makes me happy.
看 妈 我找到让我幸福的那个人了
Just like you wanted. That's wonderful.
正如你盼望的那样 太好了
I just wish I could've
我只希望我能
stuck around long enough for grandchildren.
活到抱孙子的时候
I'm pregnant!
我怀孕了
And then my mom got better.
后来我妈的病好了
Which was miraculous. But it meant that I had to keep "Betty"
真是个奇迹 但这就表示我得把"贝蒂"留在身边
around and cast a kid to play my son Tyler.
还要选个小孩来扮演我儿子泰勒
This is crazy. You actually cast your own son?
太疯狂了 你竟然用试镜来挑选自己的儿子吗
Well, for a while,
呃 有一段时间
I got by borrowing/babysitting my neighbor's baby.
我利用给邻居带小孩的机会 借他们的小孩来用
Then this one Christmas, when my mom was plowed on eggnog,
还有一年圣诞节 我妈喝蛋奶酒喝高了
I got away with a bag of flour and a Chucky mask.
我用一袋面粉和鬼娃面具就蒙混过关
But eventually I had to hold auditions.
不过最后我还是举♥行♥了试镜
4, 8,
4号♥ 8号♥
13, you can stay. The rest of you may go.
13号♥ 你们留下 其他人可以走了
You said that if I slept with you, my son would get the part.
你说过要是我跟你上♥床♥ 你就会选我儿子
Well, apparently I'm a better actor than your kid.
显然我的演技比你儿子好
Bring in the 11:00's!
让11点的那批进来
And that's how the role of Tyler eventually went to
这么一来 泰勒的角色最终就给了
Grant.
格兰特
Come on, Grant seems pretty good. You think so?
好啦 格兰特看起来挺不错的 你这么觉得吗
Watch this. Hey, Tyler.
看着 嘿 泰勒
Tyler. Tyler.
泰勒 泰勒
Grant. Yeah?
格兰特 嗯
See? It's like amateur hour over here.
看到没 这也太业余了吧
Call me crazy, but child actors were way better back in the '80s.
疯就疯吧 不过八十年代的儿童演员要比这好得多了
Well, Barney, it looks like your mom kept
巴尼 看起来你妈一直把你的卧室
your childhood bedroom just the way you left it.
保留成你小时候的样子
Yeah, that sure is a big poster of The Karate Kid above your bed.
是啊 你床头那张大海报还是《龙威小子》呢
Hey, The Karate Kid is a great movie.
嘿 《龙威小子》是部了不起的电影
It's the story of a hopeful
这故事说的是一个前途无量
young karate enthusiast whose dreams and moxie
又年轻的空手道爱好者 靠着梦想和胆量
take him all the way to the All Valley Karate Championship.
一路过关斩将到了空手道冠军大赛
Of course, sadly, he loses in the final round to that nerd kid,
当然了 悲剧的是他在最后一轮输给了那个呆子
but he learns an important
但是他学到了重要的一课
lesson about gracefully accepting defeat.
就是虽败犹荣
Wait. When you watch The Karate Kid,
等等 你看《龙威小子》的时候
you actually root for that mean blond boy?
支持的竟然是那个恶毒的金发小子吗
No, I root for the scrawny loser from New Jersey
不 我支持的是新泽西来的那个皮包骨窝囊废
who barely even knows karate.
连空手道是什么都不懂
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
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