老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E10
Part 2
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:33 p.m.
Listen to me, please, trust me. I've been in plenty of fights.
请听我说 相信我 我打过无数次架
It's really nothing to be proud of.
真没什么好值得骄傲的
Who did you get in a fight with? My brothers.
你跟谁打架 我的哥哥们
Yes, I'm sure that was quite a rumble in the Eriksen rumpus room.
没错 我相信在艾瑞克森喧闹屋里肯定上演着一场混战
I love brotherly horseplay!
我太喜欢哥几个一起胡闹啦
Here comes the tickle monster! Noogie patrol!
挠痒怪物来了 全身巡查
Wait, wait, wait! Timesies! Timesies!
等一下 等一下 暂停 暂停
Cocoa break.
可可时间
Cocoa break.
可可时间
Okay, it's clobbering time.
好了 痛打时间到
Ted, don't do this, you're a nice guy.
泰德 别这样 你是个好人
That's your best quality. Is it?
这是你最好的品质 是吗
'Cause I seem to remember
因为我好像记得
this nice guy getting dumped by his fiancee
这个好人在婚礼上被他未婚妻甩了
for a tae kwon do instructor. Look, this may sound crazy,
然后跟了一个跆拳道教练 我知道 这听起来可能很疯狂
but I think I need to do this.
但是我觉得我需要这样做
I think this is an experience I need to have.
我觉得这是我需要有的一段经历
I'm going.
我走了
Me, too!
我也去
Guys, take a good look at this face,
朋友们 好好看下这张脸
because the next time you see it,
因为当你们下次再看到它的时候
it will be disfigured in the hottest possible way.
它已经被摧残成最性感的模样
'Cause that's who I am, I'm a man.
因为这就是我 我是个大男人
I like to fight and mix it up and get all dirty.
我喜欢打架 摆平对方 惹是生非
Could you find a wood hanger for this?
你能找个木质衣架把它挂起来吗
Whoa! What happened here? I know, right?
哇哦 怎么回事 我就知道
Who's not looking at my toupee now?
现在谁还敢不看我的假发
Look what we did to these guys.
看看我们干的好事
We? Yeah, we.
我们 对 我们
Come on, man, we're a good team. Nice work, boys, we did it!
伙计 我们太默契啦 干得漂亮 弟兄们 我们赢啦
No, no, you did it. We didn't do anything.
不 只是你赢了 我们什么也没做
Okay, yeah. Yeah, sure, I just beat up three guys by myself.
好吧 当然了 我一个人就把他们三个打趴了
You guys. That's good. You and you, free drinks for life.
你们也不错 你 还有你 终身免费喝酒
He thinks we were in this fight with him.
他以为我们是帮他打架了
We were in this fight with him.
我们就是帮他打架了
And now we are going to go in there and tell everyone
现在我们就回酒吧去 跟所有人讲述
the legendary tale of how we beat up some guys.
我们痛扁这些人的传奇故事
And everyone is going to think it's great
所有人都会觉得我帅呆了
and everyone is going to sleep with me again.
然后所有人都想和我上♥床♥
Dude, come on, no one is
兄弟 不是吧
gonna believe we were in a fight, look at us.
没人相信我们打过架 瞧瞧咱们
That's a good...
这是个好...
What are you doing? What I should've done a long time ago.
你要干嘛 干我早该干的事情
What? I don't know. I just hit myself in the eye!
什么 我不知道 我刚刚打了自己眼睛一拳
I don't even know what I'm saying!
我都不知道自己在说什么了
I throw an awesome right hook, by the way.
顺便说一句 刚刚那记右勾拳太帅了
Okay, are you ready? To go back in?
好了 你准备好了吗 准备好回去吗
No, for this.
不 是挨揍
You just punched me in the nose!
你刚刚打我鼻子上了
Are you crying? Yes, I'm crying!
你在哭吗 是的 我在哭
You just punched me in the nose.
你居然打我的鼻子
Oh, that's going to swell up real good.
哦 肯定会肿得很明显
You're gonna look like Owen Wilson.
看起来就像欧文•威尔逊
Okay, let's get back in there.
好了 我们回去吧
Okay, but just, let's play this down, okay?
好的 但是低调点行不
I don't want this to turn into a big thing.
我不想把这事闹太大
Yeah.
好
And Ted comes and takes his shoe off! Hits him in the mouth...
然后泰德过来把他的鞋脱了 照着他的嘴打过去
Hey, there they are! The guys that got my back!
嘿 他们来了 我的哥们儿来了
You two got in a fight. Really?
你们两个打架了 真的假的
No, Barney punched me and himself in the face
假的 巴尼打了我和他自己的脸
to make it look like we got in a fight. Come on, Marshall.
搞的我们看起来像打过架一样 别天真了 马修
Wow. Look at your eye.
哇哦 看看你的眼睛
You look like a badass.
看起来真像个混世魔王
I'm surprised to see you had it in me. You. Had it in you.
好惊讶 你的金箍棒还真有... 不对 是你 你还真有两下子
Do you want to touch it?
你想摸一下吗
Oh, my God, it's warm.
哦 天哪 还烫着呢
Hey, victory drinks.
嘿 庆功酒来了
Free! Free! Free!
免费 免费 免费
Free! $7.50.
免费 七块五
Why do I have to pay? 'Cause you don't got my back.
为什么我要付钱 因为你没有挺我
These guys got my back. Okay, you know what, Doug?
其他人挺我了 行 我告诉你 道格
I will gladly pay. And you know why?
我很乐意付钱 你知道为什么吗
Because that's what grownups do.
因为这才是成年人该做的事情
They pay for their drinks and they don't get into fights.
花自己的钱买♥♥自己的酒 让别人打架去吧
You know what I was doing
你知道当你们在外面
while you were out there being immature?
像孩子一样打架的时候我在做什么吗
I'll tell you what I was doing. Your nails?
我告诉你们我在做什么 修指甲吗
No. I was doing...
不是 我在...
The relationship quiz in this month's Cosmo?
做新一♥期♥时尚杂♥志♥上的感情测试吗
No. I was doing...
不是 我在...
Your best not to cry when Big came back for Carrie
看欲望都市大结局时 看到大人物为卡丽回来的一幕
at the end of the Sex and the City movie?
努力忍♥住不哭吗
No. Spoilers much? No.
才没有 别剧透好吗 才不是
I'll tell you what I was doing...
我告诉你们我在干什么
The captain of the football team,
在跟你们学校的橄榄球队队长猛干
because he gave you his promise ring
因为他给了你一枚承诺戒指
and you looked so pretty in your open-back homecoming dress?
还说你返校日穿的露背装礼服很美
Sorry.
对不起
I hate those guys.
我恨死他们了
Acting like they're the manliest guys in the universe,
好像他们是世界上最猛的猛♥男♥
like they're Crocodile Dundee and David Hasselhoff.
就像鳄鱼先生和大卫•哈赛尔霍夫一样
Those are the manliest guys in the universe?
这两位也算世界上最猛的猛♥男♥吗
I don't understand why they're getting all this attention.
我还是不明白为什么他们会成为关注的焦点
I mean, I'm the real hero here. Yeah, you are.
我是说 我才是真正的猛♥男♥ 是的 你是我的猛♥男♥
I'm serious, woman. Put it back in your pants.
我是认真的 女士 控制一下你的欲♥火♥好吗
Marshall, you're the man every boy should grow up to become
马修 每个男孩都该成为你
and every girl should marry.
每个女孩都该嫁给你
You know what?
听我说
I have two kids in my class who won't stop fighting.
我班上有两个孩子老是打架
If you come to school tomorrow and tell them your story
如果你明天来学校 给他们讲你
of choosing the path of nonviolence,
选择用非暴♥力♥手段解决问题的故事
it might really set them straight.
很有可能会对他们有所启发
And save me having to get up early to make a lesson plan.
也省得我起个大早备课了
All right. Okay. I'll set them straight.
好的 我会好好启发他们的
You're a wuss. What? No.
你是个胆小鬼吧 什么 才没有
Mahatma Panda and Martin Luther Koala
圣雄熊猫和马丁路德考拉
are telling you kids this story
给小朋友们讲这个故事
to illustrate... To illustrate that you're a wuss?
是为了说明 说明你是个胆小鬼吗
Why didn't you just fight those guys?
你为什么不直接揍他们呢
Were you scared? What?
你害怕了吗 什么
No. I wasn't scared.
瞎说 我才没有害怕呢
I've been in plenty of fights, okay? You're huge.
我打过很多架 你好巨大
You must weigh like a thousand pounds.
少说得有一千斤重吧
Okay, first of all, I'm wearing a baggy sweater,
好吧 首先 我穿的是宽松线衫
and it has horizontal stripes.
然后又是横条纹
And I also... I had a salty lunch... And so I'm retain...
再加上我的午餐太咸了...然后我还...
You know what? Shut up! Wuss! Wuss! Wuss!
听好了 给我闭嘴 胆小鬼 胆小鬼 胆小鬼
Wow. So, you just beat those guys up?
哇 这么说 你们就这样把他们揍了一顿吗
Just?
就这样
Amanda, were it so simple. You see, hand-to-hand combat
阿曼达 没那么简单 知道吗 所谓的肉搏战
is about so much more than just administering brute force
不仅仅是使用蛮力把拳头挥到
on your opponent, right, B? You know!
你对手身上 是不是 小巴 那必须的
It's a science.
这是一门科学
The sweet science, as it were.
更是一门艺术
Wait, I'm confused. What did those guys do to deserve it?
等等 我有疑问 他们为什么会被揍呢
Well, this may sound petty,
呃 听起来可能微不足道
but they sat in our booth. They sat in our booth.
他们坐了我们的位子 坐了我们的位子
And nobody... Nobody.
没人敢... 没人
...sits in our booth. It's been taken.
坐在我们的位子上 它被占了
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
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