老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother S04E07
Part 1
Oct. 30, 2020, 3:32 p.m.
I am not impressed with the talent in here tonight.
今晚这里的妞们真让我提不起兴趣
And the more I drink, the less attractive they get.
而且我喝的越多 她们越无趣
I'm one Scotch and soda away from the cantina scene in Star Wars.
再喝一杯加苏打威士忌我就要置身于《星球大战》里的小酒馆了
What about those girls over there? They're hot.
那边的女孩怎么样呢 她们很性感
They're not hot. Are you kidding?
她们不性感 你开玩笑呢
I hated their guts the second I saw them.
我只看她们一眼就已经恨死她们了
Which means they're hot.
这就证明她们很性感
In fact, I hated them almost
事实上 我恨她们的程度
as much as I hated Robin when I first met her.
和第一次见罗宾的时候一样
You hated me? A lot.
你恨过我吗 特别恨
Barney, they're hot.
巴尼 她们很性感
Oh, there is so much to teach you all.
噢 我要教你们的东西真是太多了
You have just become victims of the cheerleader effect.
你们只是啦啦队效应的受害者
Glad you asked. The cheerleader effect
很高兴你问我 啦啦队效应
is when group of women seems hot but only as a group.
就是一群女人只有在一起时才显得性感
Just like with cheerleaders.
就像啦啦队员们一样
They seem hot, but take each one of them individually?
她们看起来很性感 但如果单独看她们每个人呢
Sled dogs. That's insane.
雪橇狗而已 太荒谬了
Take a good, hard look at each one of those girls.
你们自己好好看看每个女孩
Individually.
单独地看
I don't know. The one on the end is kind of cute.
不一定 最后那个人还挺可爱的
Yeah, she really is.
嗯 确实是
And that, my friends, is the cheerleader effect.
所以 我的朋友们 这就是啦啦队效应
Also known as the bridesmaid paradox,
也叫伴娘悖论
sorority girl syndrome, and for a brief window in the mid-90s,
联谊会女生综合症 或者九十年代中期很红的
the Spice Girls conspiracy. Scary Spice indeed.
辣妹组合效应 那可真是辣人
Barney Stinson. Hi. Okay. Got it.
巴尼•斯丁森 嗨 好的 明白了
Great, we'll be in touch.
很好 我们再联♥系♥
Hah.
哈
What? Apparently, I'm gonna be a dad.
怎么了 很显然 我要当爸爸了
What do you mean, you're gonna be a dad? How did this happen?
你要当爸爸了是什么意思 这是怎么回事
It was just some girl I hooked up with a few weeks back.
是我几个星期前把过的妹
She's not sure. She's gonna go to the doctor in the morning.
她不确定 她明早要去找医生问一下
Maybe it's a false alarm. Maybe she's not pregnant.
可能是搞错了 可能她没怀孕
Lily, no part of Barney
莉莉 巴尼•斯丁森身上
Stinson does anything less than 110 percent.
没有一个部分的成功率会少于110%
If one of my little Michael Phelpses got loose,
如果我的其中一个小迈克尔•菲尔普斯杀出了重围
he's swimming for the gold.
他就是冲着金牌去的
This is a nightmare. I don't want kids.
这真是个噩梦 我不想要小孩
Who in their right mind would ever want kids?
哪个精神正常的人会想要孩子
Now, when you turn 30 and you're
现在 当你30岁并且结婚了
in a couple, a strange thing happens.
一个奇怪的现象就会发生
You start to see babies everywhere.
你开始在各种地方见到宝宝
Oh, come on.
噢 不是吧
Yes. Marshall and Lily were coming down with baby fever.
是的 马修和莉莉变成了宝宝发烧友
And their new neighbours weren't helping.
而他们的新邻居更是让他们"病情"加重
Did you lose a sock there, little dude?
你丢了一只袜子吗 小宝贝
That is without a doubt the cutest little thing I've ever seen.
这绝对是我见过的最可爱的东西了
There's my little peanut.
我的小宝贝
That night they sat down to have a serious,
那天晚上他们坐下来 对要孩子的事
practical discussion about having kids.
进行了一次认真实际的讨论
So, if we have a baby, do you think you could work fewer hours?
如果我们有了孩子 你能缩短点你的工作时间吗
Doesn't matter. He's gonna be so cute,
这没关系的 他肯定可爱得不行
I'm gonna eat him up on the first day.
生下来第一天我就想把它吞下去
Okay. But what about money? We're still in a ton of debt.
好 但是钱怎么办 我们还有一屁♥股♥的债
Well, we'll count our overdue bills on his teenie, tiny fingers.
我们用它的小手指来数我们的账单
Let's have a baby.
让我们生个孩子吧
Oh, right now? Oh, okay.
噢 现在吗 好吧
There was just one thing in their way.
只有一个家伙妨碍了他们
Scootch over, I TiVo'd The View.
腾个地儿 我录了《观点》要看
And that thing happened
这家伙没工作
to be unemployed and sleeping on their couch.
还睡在他们的沙发上
So, Robin, how's the job and apartment search going?
罗宾 你工作和房♥子的事怎么样了
Oh, you didn't hear? I'm the lead anchor on CNN.
你们不知道吗 我是CNN的主播
And I got a penthouse overlooking Central Park made of gold.
我还有一套金子做的豪华公♥寓♥可以俯瞰中♥央♥公园
Get your head out of your ass, Marshall.
用用脑子吧 马修
They realized if they were
他们意识到如果
going to start a family, they had to plan ahead.
他们要组建家庭 他们就必须事先计划
So, Robin, would you mind crashing at Ted's tomorrow night?
罗宾 你介意明晚睡在泰德那儿吗
I'm cooking Marshall a special dinner.
我要给马修做一顿特别的晚餐
Just dinner. That's it. Nothing else. Fine.
只是一顿晚餐而已 没有别的 好吧
But you better not be as uptight as these idiots
但你最好别跟那两个白♥痴♥一样
about me shooting beer cans on the roof.
急躁到逼我往屋顶上扔啤酒罐
"Oh, it hurts my ears. The neighbors called the cops.
"噢 弄痛我耳朵了 邻居叫警♥察♥了
You almost hit me. "
你差点砸中我"
Enjoy her, Ted. She's in a real good place right now.
忍♥忍♥她吧 泰德 她现在是非常时期
God, it's me, Barney. What up?
主啊 是我 巴尼 咋啦
I know we don't talk much,
我知道我们之间说话不多
though a lot of girls call out your name because of me.
尽管有好多女孩因为我而喊你的名字
Awesome. But, God,
棒极了 但是 主啊
if you could get me out of this,
如果你让我摆脱这件事
I swear I will never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...
我发誓我将永远永远永远永远也不
I...
我...
Ooh! Hang on, bro. Go for Barney.
噢 等一下 哥们 我是巴尼
Really?
真的吗
Marshall, great news! I'm not a father! Congratulations, buddy.
马修 好消息 我没当爸爸 祝贺你 哥们
This is the happiest moment of my life, Marshall.
这是我人生中最开心的时刻了 马修
The way I feel about not having kids?
没有孩子的感觉
I never knew I could love something this much.
我从来不知道我会这么爱它
That's why I'm creating a holiday.
所以我要发明一个节日
From now on, today will be known as "Not a Father's Day. "
从今天开始 今天将成为"非父节"
Wow. You're creating a holiday?
哇 你在创造一个节日吗
Yeah, why not? Everyone else gets a day.
是呀 为什么不呢 别人都有节日
Mothers, fathers, Bastilles.
母亲节 父亲节 巴士底狱解放日
Why can't there be a day for
为什么不能有一个专属那些
people who are single and like it that way?
热爱单身的单身汉的节日呢
Well, now you just sound like the chubby girl on Valentine's Day.
你现在就像情人节时没人约的小胖妞
Hello, Stinson. Hey, Nolan. How are the kids?
你好 斯丁森 你好 诺伦 孩子们怎么样
You ready for tonight, Eriksen? Big merger.
你今晚可要做好准备呀 艾瑞克森 很大的合并案啊
Well, that's between me and my wife, sir.
呃 这是我们家的私事 先生
No. The meeting with Mr. Li. Tonight.
不 我是说晚上和李先生的会议
I thought that was a breakfast meeting.
我还以为那是个早餐会
It is. Breakfast in China.
是的 在中国的早餐时间
We're teleconferencing with the Chinese.
我们将和中国人进行远程会议
I'm counting on you, kid.
我就指望你了小子
Marshall? Hey, babe.
马修 嘿 宝贝
It's breakfast time in China. Yeah, it is.
现在是中国的早餐时间 一点没错
Not a euphemism. Look, I...
这不是挑逗 听着 我...
Wait, what would that even mean?
等一下 你以为是什么意思
I don't know, hot buns, spicy pork? There's something there.
我也不知道 热面包 辣猪肉 总能找到联♥系♥
You're not coming home tonight, are you?
你今晚回不来了 是吗
Are you shaking your head no?
你在摇头吗
I thought so.
我想也是
Thank you, guys, for coming over so fast.
谢谢你们这么快赶过来
Yeah, are you all right? You sounded upset on the phone.
你还好吗 你在电♥话♥里很失落啊
Marshall and I made this big decision to have dinner.
我和马修下定决心晚上... 吃大餐
And I thought I was ready to have dinner.
我原以为我已经准备好了... 吃大餐
But then he called and canceled, and it got me thinking.
但他打电♥话♥来取消了 这就让我动摇了决心
Is it too early for us to have dinner?
现在吃晚餐是不是还太早
Well, I had an early lunch, so I'm ready for dinner.
呃 我午饭吃得比较早 所以我准备好吃晚餐了
Dinner is a baby! Lily, that's horrible!
晚餐是小孩 莉莉那也太可怕了
No, no, I need you guys to figure something out for me.
不 我需要你们帮我理清思路
What? Are Marshall and I ready to have a baby?
什么思路 我和马修是时候要小孩了吗
So are Marshall and I ready to have a baby or not?
所以我们现在到底该不该要小孩呢
Lily, we can't make this decision for you.
莉莉 我们不能替你们做这个决定
It's huge. You know what else is huge?
这事太大了 你知道还有什么更大吗
Marshall's head.
马修的大脑袋
That thing's the size of a late August watermelon.
那简直就跟八月的西瓜似的
Marshall's baby coming through there?
马修的小孩该怎么出来啊 诶哟疼
What does Marshall think?
马修是怎么想的
老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005）
How I Met Your Mother
剧集 | 老爸老妈的浪漫史（2005） | 导航列表