糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E13
Part 1
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:25 p.m.
恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Roman rotten, rank and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories, we do that
且听鼠君对你说*
*and your host - a talking rat
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to...
第一季 第十三集
糟糕历史
腐朽古罗马
两千年前的英国 压根没有罗马人
Britain about 2,000 years ago, and not a Roman in sight.
不好 话说太早了
Whoops, spoke too soon.
罗马人入侵 还赖着不走了
The Romans have invaded and they're here to stay.
不知他们都吃些什么呢
I wonder what they'll make of the food.
古罗马
厨房♥
噩 梦
大家好 我是一名愤怒的罗马咆哮大厨
Hello, I'm an angry, shouty Roman chef and,
入侵英国之后
having invaded Britain,
我发现的第一个问题就是这里的食物太烂了
the first thing I notice is that the food is awful!
所以我来到了这个垃圾饭店
So I've come down here to this rubbish restaurant,
看看能不能扭转局面
see if I can turn things around, yes?
来吧
Come on.
你在这个原始破厨房♥里
So, what is it you're cooking here,
准备做些什么吃的呢
in this stinking dog-hole of a primitive kitchen?
这是英国凯尔特人的主食
Um, uh, this is the staple diet of Celtic Britain.
这是发霉的面包 这是麦芽酒
Um, right here we have the stale bread and this is some ale.
-然后呢 -是是
- And, uh? - Right, well,
吃面包就酒可以防止噎着
uh, you eat this, and this is to stop it sticking in your throat.
这玩意又是什么
And what on earth is this?
这是今日的特色菜
Ah, well, this is today's special.
我称之为"无盐肉团"
I call this recipe, "Lump of unsalted meat".
这也能叫特色菜
You think that's special?
你们英国凯尔特人就是个悲剧 胖子
Celtic Britain is a disaster, fat man.
是时候进行罗马式烹饪大改造了
You're about to get a cooking makeover, Roman style.
把锅给我
Fetch me that pan.
接下来我们来做些罗马菜
So we're going to create a Roman menu.
记住 罗马人对吃可是很讲究的
Now remember, the Romans are so sophisticated,
喜欢可劲儿敞开了吃
they like to eat as much as they can,
美食吃到吐 吐完吃更多
make themselves sick and then eat even more.
古罗马人真的这样做
所以我们烹制的佳肴
So we gotta make something
要做到吐出来的时候
that tastes as good on the way back up
和吃下去时一样美味 明白了吗
as it did on the way down. Yes?
好了 接下来我要做一道野猪肉
OK. So what I'm going to make is a wild boar,
配活画眉鸟
with live song thrushes
真实的罗马菜
切开猪肉时鸟儿便会飞出来
that fly out when you cut it open.
我需要孔雀 乌鸦 天鹅和寒鸦肉
I wanna peacocks, a ravens, a swans, a jackdaws.
一碗驼鸟的内脏
I want the innards of an ostrich in a bowl
还有母猪乳♥房♥♥
and sows' udders
配上山羊脑 明白吗
mixed with the brains of a goat, yes?
都是真实的罗马菜
好了 把锅给我
OK. Pass me the pan.
来做饭吧
Let's cook!
让我尝尝这些绵羊肺
Now let me just try some of these sheep's lungs.
还不赖 但还可以加些配料
Mmm, not bad but it could do with a little something.
把那些烂鱼内脏给我
Uh, pass me some of those rotten fish guts.
古罗马人真的吃这个
这个味儿对
Mmm, that's the stuff.
美味
Delicious.
我们有了野猪 鸟 沙拉 羊脑和肺
OK, so we got boar, birds, salad, brains, lungs.
开胃菜准备好了
Well, that's the starter done.
现在该准备主菜了 锅
Now we should get on with the main course. Pan.
来做饭吧
Let's cook.
如果你觉得我们古罗马人的饮食很恶心
And if you think our Roman eating habits were disgusting,
不妨再来看看我们的厕所
you should see what our toilets were like.
好了 这就是厕所了
Right, here are the toilets.
很好 您先请
Great. Well, after you.
我先请 你真是个乡巴佬 塞克斯塔斯
After me? You are such a country bumpkin, Sextus.
这里可是罗马
This is Rome.
我们有公共厕所
We have communal toilets.
大家一起上
We all go together.
古罗马人真的一起上厕所
跟我来吧
Come on, you.
-可是 -来呀
- But... - Come on!
-下午好 先生们 -下午好 马库斯
- Afternoon, gents. - Ah, afternoon, Marcus.
这是塞克斯塔斯
Oh, this is Sextus by the way,
我堂兄 第一次进城
my cousin. First visit to the city.
真好 请坐吧
Oh, wonderful. Well, take a seat.
好的 谢谢
OK. Thanks.
马库斯 最近如何
So, Marcus, how are you?
我觉得...
Oh, feeling a bit...
好多了 谢谢
better, thanks.
上周过得不太好
Was a bit poorly last week.
是吗 你是不是...
Oh? Did you have some of that...
染上流感了
cold that's going around?
是啊 我试了新疗法
Yeah, I think so. I tried that newfangled cure, though.
什么都不吃...
I ate nothing but...
只吃卷心菜
cabbages.
每天喝点儿自己的尿 还挺管用
And drank my own urine for a day.Worked a treat.
真实的古罗马疗法
抱歉
Sorry.
这倒提醒我了
Hey, that reminds me,
你真该来尝尝我妻子的手艺
you really must try my wife's cooking.
这周四来吃晚饭吧 我们...
Come for dinner this Thursday? We're...
我们要吃填睡鼠
We're having force-fed dormouse.
带你堂兄一起来啊
You can bring your cousin.
真实的古罗马食物
听上去...真不错
Oh, that sounds... delightful.
请把棒子递给我 大妹子
Pass us the stick, old girl.
-好的 先生 -麻烦转个方向
- Yes, of course, sir. - Oh, other end, if you don't mind.
抱歉 抱歉
Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Sorry.
古罗马人真的用海绵棒擦屁屁
好的 周四见
Ugh. Right, see ya Thursday.
好的 我会带些...酒的
Lovely. I'll bring some... wine.
再见
Bye.
不行 大家都看着呢 我拉不出来
I can't! I just can't go like this, with all you watching.
事儿真多
For goodness sake.
谢谢
Thanks.
这是真的 鼠君认证 以上属实
It's true. 100% accu-rat.
古罗马人真的在公共厕所进行社交活动
Ha. Romans really did socialise in their communal toilets.
他们会花上几小时在里面聊天和听八卦
They'd spend hours in there chatting and listening to gossip.
马库斯 抱歉 观众朋友们
Oh, Marcus! Ooh, I do beg your pardon, viewers.
小声点儿 大家都看着呢
Honestly, there's people watching.
抱歉 是我的跳蚤
Sorry, that was my flea.
又来了 马库斯 不是跟你说了吗
And again! Marcus, what have I just said?
邪恶的维多利亚时代
我们维多利亚时代的人常常抗战在外
We Victorians fought lots of wars abroad
战争真的很可怕
and they were really gruesome.
就算你没有战死沙场
If you didn't die on the battlefield,
也很有可能会在医院里丧命
you probably would in the hospitals.
来看看医院有多脏乱差吧
Check out how filthy they were. Mmm.
欢迎来到克里米亚战地医院 护士
Welcome to the Crimean War hospital, Nurse...?
俄♥国♥ 克里米亚
抱歉 你叫什么来着
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.
弗洛伦斯 弗洛伦斯·南丁格尔
Uh, Florence. Florence Nightingale.
南丁格尔护士
Nurse Nightingale.
我来带你参观一下医院吧
Well, let me show you round the hospital.
首先 这点非常重要
First of all, and this is very important,
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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