糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S01E09

Part 2 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:24 p.m.

我不想让人说我偏心
and I don't want to be accused of favouritism.
谢谢爸爸
Thanks, Dad.
学监大人您觉得怎么样
So, um, what do you think then, inspector?
先生们就这么干下去吧
Gentlemen. Keep up the good work.
太好了
Marvellous.
-詹金斯坐回去吧 -谢谢老师
- Jenkins, you can sit back down now. - Thank you, sir.
什么你能坐得下
What?! You can sit down?
看来我打得还不够重
I obviously haven't beaten you enough, boy!
腐朽古罗马
我们罗马人有很多神这非常方便
We Romans had dozens of gods, which was really handy
因为任何时候遇到困难
cos anytime you had a problem
都有神来帮忙
there was always a god who could fix it.
你有在家里或工作中受伤吗
Have you been injured at home or at work?
或者被偷了鞋子
Or perhaps had one of your shoes stolen?
也许你丢了些零钱
Maybe you've lost some small change
想随便找个人就说是他偷的
and would like to randomly accuse someone of theft.
无论多小的问题罗马神明中心都能帮忙
Whatever the petty problem, Roman Gods Direct can help.
-你叫什么 -在罗马神明中心
- What's your name? - Here at Gods Direct,
我们有24小时专业罗马神
we have specialist Roman gods on hand 24 hours a day
为你解决小麻烦小抱怨
to review your petty small-minded gripe.
罗马神明中心
比如涅浦顿海神
Gods like Neptune, god of the sea.
-密涅瓦智慧之神 -你好
- Minerva, goddess of wisdom. - Hello?
这些都是真正的罗马神
克罗阿西娜下水道神
Cloacina, goddess of sewers.
一股屎味
Uh, poo. Ugh.
还有我墨丘利众神的信使
And me, Mercury, the messenger.
只要说明谁惹了你你想如何报复
Just tell us who wronged you and your preferred method of revenge,
剩下的就由我们来搞定
and we'll handle the rest.
我钱被偷了我怀疑是卡西乌斯的泰辛
I'd had some money stolen and I suspected Ticene of Carisius.
南安普顿的麦西努斯
所以我求助罗马神明中心
So I asked Roman Gods Direct
让她的肠子肚脐和大腿日渐衰弱
to make her intestines, navel and thighs waste away.
由于她搬走了我也不知道是不是有效
I've no idea if it worked because she moved away.
但我对罗马神明中心的服务
But I'm very happy with the service I received
非常满意
from Roman Gods Direct.
而这一切只需要一年的供奉
And at just one sacrifice a year,
价格也非常合理
their rates are very reasonable.
所以如果你愿意让我们为你服务
So if you'd like us to take on your claim
当然这绝无代价无不良后果
on a no-revenge, no-sacrifice basis,
只要将你刻好的石碑送到
simply send your inscribed stone tablet to
罗马神明中心免费邮箱天堂
Roman Gods Direct, Freepost, Heaven.
或将其投入我们地区办事处的圣泉里
Or drop it into the sacred waters at one of our regional offices
办事处设在巴斯汗布尔和尤利
in Bath, Hamble or Uley.
罗马神明中心抱怨无小事
Gods Direct, no whinge is too petty.
如果不坚持供奉你的灵魂会很危险哦
我们知道罗马人
We know about how the Romans
求神帮助复仇的方法
asked their gods to help them get revenge
是因为在巴斯的罗马浴室里
because lots of stone tablets with messages carved in them
发现了很多刻着信息的石碑
have been found at the Roman baths, in Bath.
我很怀疑这是否有用
I wonder if it actually works. Hmm.
"亲爱的克罗阿西娜下水道之神
"Dear Cloacina, goddess of the sewers,
你能查出谁在我头上拉屎并还之其身吗
will you find out who pooped on my head and poop on theirs back?
你忠诚的鼠君...
Yours, the Rat...
吻你"
..kiss, kiss."
以下哪个不是真正的罗马神
Which of these is not a real Roman God?
A 弗米努斯牛蠕虫神
A: Verminus, God of cattle worms
B 普那提斯橱柜之神
B: Penates, God of cupboards
C 科代亚铰链女神
C: Cordea, Goddess of hinges
答案是...
The answer is...
他们全是真正的罗马神
They all real Roman gods.
罗马人在所有事物上都有神
The Romans had a god for everything
并极其认真地对待诸神
and took them all very seriously.
大战就要开始了
Battle is upon us.
上阵之前我来拜见诸神
I have come to appease the gods before we face the enemy.
马尔斯就在这里将军
Mars awaits you, General.
战神马尔斯万岁
Hail Mars, god of war.
战神马尔斯
在伟大的开战之日
On this great day of battle,
让我们以你之名出战
may we fight with honour in your name.
-好了开战 -稍等将军
- Good. To war. - Hold on, General.
你还要向密特拉士兵保护神表达敬意
You must also pay homage to Mithras, God and Patron of Soldiers.
当然是我疏忽了
Of course. My mistake.
士兵之神密特拉
密特拉万岁
Hail Mithras.
在伟大的开战之日
On this great day of battle,
让我们以你之名出战
may we fight with honour in your name.
好了谢谢你
Great, thank you.
还有希博娜马匹的保护神
And Hippona, Goddess and Protector of Horses.
-马匹 -你不是有骑兵吗
- Horses?! - Got a cavalry, haven't you?
马匹之神希博娜
希博娜万岁在伟大的开战之日
Hail Hippona. On this great day of battle,
请看顾我们的马匹
please look after the horses.
好了谢谢
Good, thank you.
还有克罗阿西娜下水道之神
And Cloacina, goddess of the sewers.
我为什么要向下水道神祈祷
Why would I pray to the goddess of the sewers?
士兵在战前都会紧张将军
Soldiers get very nervous before a battle, General.
如果一万五千名士兵同时如厕
If 15,000 men decide to go the toilet at the same time,
我可不负责清理
I'm not clearing it up.
下水道之神克罗阿西娜
克罗阿西娜万岁
Hail Cloacina.
在伟大的开战日请让下水道保持通畅
On this great of battle make the bogs work properly.
谢谢
Thank you.
还有菲丽西塔丝好运之神
And Felicitas, goddess of good luck.
能跳过这个吗已经开战了
Can we skip that one? The battle's started!
你想让敌军独占好运气吗
You want the other side to have all the good luck?
万岁好运之神菲丽西塔丝
Hail Felicitas, goddess of good luck.
好运之神菲丽西塔丝
请支持我们我现在真得...
Please be on our side. Now I really must...
奥普斯丰产之神
Ops, god of plenty.
-拜托 -你想箭只不足吗
- Oh, come on. - You want to run out of arrows?
丰产之神奥普斯
奥普斯万岁巴拉巴拉请支持我们
Hail Ops, yadda, yadda, be on our side. Done.
雅努斯开端之神
Janus, god of good beginnings,
开端之神雅努斯
你希望有个好开始吧
you want to get a good start to the battle.
已经很迟了仗可能都打完了
It's a bit late, the battle's probably finished!
能快点结束吗
Can we wrap this up please?
羊群之神法乌努斯
Faunus, god of sheep.
羊群之神法乌努斯
-我很忙 -好吧好吧
- I am in a hurry. - Fine, fine.
但如果有羊群阻挡了行军之路
But if a flock of sheep sweep across the battlefield,
绊倒了士兵你只能怪自己
tripping your men up, you only get yourself to blame.
我还得祭拜多少神灵
How many more are there?
还有狩猎之神狄安娜
Um, well there's Diana, goddess of the hunt,
狩猎之神狄安娜
忍♥耐之神斯端努亚和忠诚之神弗狄斯
Strenua, god of endurance and Fides, god of loyalty.
忍♥耐之神斯端努亚
忠诚之神弗狄斯
他们万岁他们万万岁
OK, well, hail them all. OK? Hail them all.
-我不... -他是谁
- I don't... - What was that?
明白
understand.
我哪里做错了
Where did I go wrong?
可恶
Oh, blast!
我忘记了胜利之神
I forgot the god of victory.
那可...真有点蠢
That...was a bit...stupid.
凶残的维京人
许多英语词汇由维京语言演变而来
A lot of English words come straight from the Viking language.
维京词汇
例如下面这些
Like this lot.
砰
摧毁
逃啊
打碎
下流
冷酷无情
欢迎
欢迎吗怎么可能
What, really? Welcome?
不会产生误会什么的吗
Don't think we're giving out mixed messages?
它们都是维京词汇
下面是另一则维京趣闻
And here's another surprising Viking fact.
下列哪首知名童谣描述了维京人的袭击
A well-known nursery rhyme is actually about a Viking attack.
A 《玫瑰花环》
Is it A, Ring a ring o' roses?