糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E03
Part 4
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:23 p.m.
他们现在十分痛苦啊
They're in excruciating pain.
我知道啊 妙极了 是吧
I know. It's brilliant, isn't it?
边照明花♥园♥ 边折磨基♥督♥徒
You get to light up your garden and torture Christians at the same time.
多好 一石二鸟
So, you know, two birds, one stone.
是不是有点 恕我冒昧 太变♥态♥了
But isn't it a bit, dare I say it, sick?
-此话怎讲 -我是说
- How so? - Well, I mean,
以那样的极刑来折磨人...
torturing a fellow human being like that...
如果不是我了解你
If I didn't know any better,
我会觉得你是在可怜他们啊
I'd say you feel a bit sorry for 'em.
你不是基♥督♥徒吧
You're not Christian, are you?
那根蜡烛刚好烧完了
Only that candle's just gone out.
我们正要再找一个基♥督♥徒呢
We need another Christian.
你刚才说什么来着
You were saying?
我很喜欢这个派对
Well, I love the party, you know...
尤其是这些蜡烛
I particularly like those.
极好的蜡烛
Great candles.
-我也觉得 -真的极好
- Yeah. I agree. - Really good.
极好 极好的蜡烛
Really, really good candles.
如果你喜欢这种蜡烛
If you like the candles,
那你更该见识见识一会儿的烟火
you should see the fireworks later.
很可怕 但这是真的
It's horrible but it's true.
尼禄用人做蜡烛
Nero made candles out of people.
他真的很恨基♥督♥徒
He really hated Christians.
当他不烧人取乐时
When he wasn't burning them for fun,
他让人在斗兽场里斗狮 空手上场
he was making them fight lions in the Colosseum, without weapons!
这根本就不是运动 对吧
I mean, that's hardly very sporting, is it?
天哪 想想看 人狮对决
I mean, imagine that, man versus lion.
我在想呢
Ooh, I'm imagining it. Oh...
深表同情啊 卢克
Well, commiserations, Luke.
不过狮子又在这场战斗中取得胜利了
Yet another convincing victory to the Lions.
是啊 我们基♥督♥徒感到很失望
Well, yeah, very disappointing for the Christians,
诸事既毕
when all's said and done, you know,
之前我们有几起不幸的伤亡事件
we had some unfortunate injuries early on.
约翰诺上场第一分钟腿就被咬下来
Didn't favour us that Johno
让我们损失很大
got his leg chewed off in the first minute.
那看起来是影响到他的节奏了
That did seem to affect his pace a bit.
当然 是的
Absolutely, yeah.
公平对抗狮子的攻击 我们被撕成碎片
I mean, fair play to the Lion's attack, you know, they ripped us to pieces.
这边散着一只胳膊 那边落着一条腿
I mean, there was an arm here, there was a leg there
我们的前锋直接把头丢了
and our striker simply lost his head.
一口下去 头没了
It was bitten clean off, you know.
那也影响到你们队的得分
And it has affected your record.
狮子 基♥督♥徒
m 0 0 l 57 0 l 57 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
狮子比人160比0 现在肯定很失望
That's Lions 160, Christians 0. You have to be gutted.
- 0
差不多吧 幸运的是我还要比狮子快些
Well, very nearly, but luckily I was a bit too quick for the lions.
你觉得基♥督♥徒有希望战胜狮子吗
Do you think that the Christians will ever beat the Lions?
比一场是一场吧
We'll just take each game as it comes.
所以回答是 不会
So... no.
不会 祈祷都没用
No, not a prayer, no. No.
但我们还是有好消息要宣布
We do have some good news, though.
你找到我的腿了吗
Oh, have you found me leg?
不要啊
Uh, no. Oh.
我又起来啦
Hey!
我们没有发现你的腿
No, we haven't found your leg,
但是决定颁给你竞技英雄奖杯
but we have decided to give you our Man of the Match Award.
拿着吧
There you are.
-上帝保佑你 -当然主要是
- Bless you. - Mainly, of course,
因为你竞技场内英勇的表现
for your great performance in the arena,
还因为你是场上唯一存活的选手
but also because you're the only one left alive.
话说太早了
Spoke too soon.
卑劣的斯图亚特王朝
斯图亚特时代 英国君王不怎么受欢迎
In Stuart times, the English King was really unpopular.
太不受欢迎了 以至于
So unpopular, in fact,
一些人直接向他开战
that some people started a war against him.
国王丢了胜利 那还不是他丢失的全部
The King lost and that's not all he lost.
糟糕历史电视台
新闻联播
您现在看到的是16♥4♥9年最悲伤的一天
You join us here on this saddest of days, in 16♥4♥9,
我们挚爱的国王查理一世的葬礼
for the funeral of our beloved King Charles I.
下面采访一下尊敬的国王陛下
Let's have a word with him now, Your Majesty.
我注意到
I can't help noticing
查理一世
您还活着 但葬礼已经开始了
this is your funeral but you're not dead yet.
我马上就要死了
Well, I will be shortly.
m 0 0 l 61 0 l 61 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
爆♥炸♥新闻
m 0 0 l 260 0 l 260 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
我将要被奥利弗·克伦威尔和他的清教♥徒♥
I'm about to be executed by Oliver Cromwell and his Puritans
查理一世将被处死
m 0 0 l 61 0 l 61 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
爆♥炸♥新闻
m 0 0 l 260 0 l 260 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
以叛国罪处以死刑
for high treason.
叛国罪不是指反对国王吗
Isn't high treason a crime against the King
而您就是国王
and surely you are the King?
太对了 我也尝试告知法庭
Precisely. I did try to tell the court
他们无权审判他们的君主
that they had no right to sit in judgement over a monarch.
他们怎么说
And they told you?
让我...
To, um...
"滚开"
"bog off."
我注意到您在这样一个场合下
I notice you're wearing two shirts
m 0 0 l 61 0 l 61 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
爆♥炸♥新闻
m 0 0 l 260 0 l 260 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
国王穿了两件衬衣
穿了两件衬衣
for the occasion.
不错 好眼力
Yes, well spotted.
我不想因为天冷被冻得发抖
I don't want the weather to cause any shivers
m 0 0 l 61 0 l 61 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
爆♥炸♥新闻
m 0 0 l 260 0 l 260 24 l 0 24 l 0 0
而让围观民众误以为我害怕了
that the crowd might mistake for fear.
您真有先见之明
A wise precaution.
我应该穿两条底裤的
I really should've worn two pairs of underpants.
看样子他们准备就绪 就等您呢
Oh, it looks like they're ready for you now.
我去了
Here goes.
观众们期待已久的时刻终于到来
The moment the crowd have been waiting for has finally arrived, now.
就要处决皇室了
It's time for the royal execution.
希望这是干净利落的一刀
Let's hope for a nice clean cut.
来了...
And...
好的 完美的一刀
Oh, yes, there it is.
都溅我眼睛里了
Bile in my eye.
看样子 看处决并不
I don't think they enjoyed that
像他们想得那么享受
quite as much as they thought they would.
但场面的确非常动人
Very moving scenes, indeed.
行刑后 他们如何处理了查理一世的头
What did they do with King Charles I's head after his execution?
A 戳在长钉上
Did they - A, stick it on a spike?
B 缝回去
B, sew it back on?
C 当球踢
Or C, play football with it?
答案是...
The answer is...
B 他们把头缝了回去
B, they sewed it back on to his body
好让他的家属祭奠他
so his family could pay their respects.
查理被杀后 英国有好一阵没有国王
So, Charlie got the chop and there was no king for a while,
但人们后来又怀念起有国王的时候
but the English people found they missed having one,
所以又将他的儿子查理二世推上了王位
so his son, Charles II, was put on the throne.
君主制复辟 但不是人人都乐意的
The monarchy was restored, but not everybody was happy about it,
尤其是克伦威尔的死忠清教♥徒♥们
particularly not Cromwell's super-strict Puritans.
这是悲催夫妇
This is Mr and Mrs Miserable -
虔诚的诺威奇清教♥徒♥家庭
the deeply religious Puritan family from Norwich,
他们交换女主人的对象是
and they're doing a wife swap with
欢乐夫妇
Mr and Mrs Merry,
一个喜欢狂欢的伦敦复辟家庭
the party-mad Restoration family from London.
清教♥徒♥家庭想要禁止派对
The Puritan family want to ban parties
而复辟家庭想要时时刻刻都狂欢
and the Restoration family want to party all the time.
他们会相处得怎样呢
I wonder how they'll get on.
历史版
交换女主人
你好 你好
Oh, hi, hello.
很高兴见到你 我是欢乐先生
Pleased to meet you. I'm Mr Merry.
叫我杰米吧 你是
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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