糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S01E12

Part 3 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:25 p.m.

是那样也许最好
Yeah, that's probably best.
-麻烦你了 -没事儿
- Thanks, anyway. - All right.
来吧你
Right, come on you.
-先生有何指教 -我要投诉
- Yes, mate? - I'd like to make a complaint.
骆驼配金鱼
其中有些行刑方式并不是真的
OK, some of those weren't real execution methods,
但罗马的确有用黄蜂蛰死人的刑罚
but they did sting people to death with wasps,
还有在罗马对弑父的惩罚
and the Roman punishment for killing your father
也确实是把人跟疯狗
really was being tied up in a sack with an angry dog
以及龙虾装进麻袋里
and a lobster
然后扔进河里
and thrown into the river.
真够绝的对吧
Cor, what a way to go, eh?
让人发寒但不用收拾
Heh. Nippy, but clean.
卑微的中世纪
又到了童话时间
Time again for our fairytale series,
所有的故事都在不同的历史背景下
where the stories are retold
被重新演绎
in different historical settings.
今天讲的是中世纪版《丑小鸭》
Today, The Ugly Duckling - the Middle Ages Version.
丑小鸭伤心欲绝因为他丑得惨绝人寰
And the Ugly Duckling was very sad because he was so very ugly.
有一天丑小鸭看到自己的倒影
But then, one day, the Ugly Duckling looked at his reflection
发现他长成了一只美丽的天鹅
and found that he had grown into a beautiful swan.
"好开心啊我终于不丑了"
"Oh, happy day, I'm not ugly any more!"
天鹅说道
said the swan.
你当然不丑啦
You certainly aren't.
一个刚好经过的国王这样说道
Said the King, who happened to be passing that day.
你是只美丽的天鹅
You're a beautiful swan.
美丽的天鹅听了非常开心
And the beautiful swan was very happy,
直到国王加了这么一句...
until the King added...
做成馅饼就更美啦
And you'll make an even more beautiful pie.
是的国王杀死了天鹅然后吃了他
Yes, the King killed the swan and ate him,
因为这是中世纪
because this was the Middle Ages
对上流人士来说
and swan pie was a bit of a treat
天鹅馅饼是难得的美食
for posh people in those days,
所以丑小鸭还是继续丑下去比较好
and so the Ugly Duckling would've been better off staying ugly.
讲完了
The end.
你知道吗在十五世纪末
Did you know that in the late 1400s,
亨利七世通过了一项法令
King Henry VII passed a law
规定只有皇族才能捕杀和食用天鹅
saying that only royals could kill and eat swans?
直到今日全英的天鹅都属于女王
To this very day, the Queen owns all the swans in Britain,
除了奥克尼郡的天鹅
except for the ones in Orkney,
因为那里实行古老的维京法
where an old Viking law still states
规定天鹅是所有人共有
that they belong to everyone.
我不是绣花枕头吧
Hmm, not just a pretty face, me, eh?
你要是觉得吃烤天鹅很怪
And if you think eating roast swan is weird,
不如等看完一个中世纪贵族
wait till you find out what one posh bloke
定的晚宴菜单再说吧
served up for his Middle Ages dinner party.
沃里克伯爵府上厨房♥
快叠完了
Almost there.
我跟你讲我要是再看一眼餐巾
I tell you, if I ever have to look at another napkin again,
或者餐巾叠成的天鹅就要...
or another swan for that matter...
都精神点大人来了
Eh, look lively, here comes the boss.
[这里指的是第十六代沃里克伯爵理查德·内维尔其弟约翰时任约克大主教]
沃里克伯爵大人到
His Lordship, the Earl of Warwick.
我要见见厨师长
Right, I wish to see the Chief Cook
或者随便哪个不臭的下人
or whichever peasant stinks the least.
大人
My Lord?
可以忍♥受
Mmm, tolerable.
我本应该问你名字的但我实在不关心
I would ask your name, but I don't care.
我下来就是想
No, I simply came down here
看看晚宴准备得怎么样了
to check on the preparations for tonight's banquet.
我可不是每天都有机会庆祝
It's not every day I get the chance to celebrate
我弟弟做上大主教的
my brother being made Archbishop, you know?
-是的大人 -我雇了60个厨子
- No, my Lord. - Which is why I've laid 60 cooks
沃里克真的雇了60个厨子
听你差遣你们定要给我
at your disposal, to create a feast,
做出一顿举世无双的盛宴
the likes of which the world has never seen.
-是大人 -我得给世人树立典范
- Yes, my Lord. - After all, I need to set a good example.
按您的要求我们已经
As requested, we've
精心备下104头肥牛以飨宾客
lovingly prepared 104 juicy oxen.
棒极了我喜欢瘦点的精肉
Marvellous. I love a bit of nice, lean beef.
这菜单是真的
你也一样吧
Don't you, cook?
我不知道大人
I wouldn't know, sir,
这种美食我们农民无福享受
us peasants can't afford such pleasures.
谁让你们一直这么穷还有什么
Well, if you'll insist on being poor. And what else?
一千头烤猪
Um, 1,000 sizzling swine.
才一千稳妥点两千吧
1,000? Oh, better make it two, be on the safe side.
再加一千只猪记下了大人
Uh, an extra thousand swine, right you are, my Lord.
还有一千头羊 13道甜点
Then we've 1,000 sheep, 13 desserts.
13?!
小的说错了是13000道甜点
Oh, well, excuse me, 13,000 desserts.
真的是13000道甜点
-蔬菜呢 -一道都没有大人
- And uh, the vegetables? - None at all, sir.
好极了我可不想客人觉得
Excellent. I don't want my guests thinking
我吃得跟农民一样
I eat like a peasant.
不大人胡萝卜这样的东西
Oh, no, sir, carrots and the like
是给我等卑贱之人吃的
are for scum like me, sir.
是啊的确
Yes, they are.
好啦肮脏的小平民忙你的吧
All right, go about your business, you grubby little commoner.
是大人谢谢
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
得再来一千只猪
Right, we need 1,000 extra swine.
不
No-o-o-o!
别折天鹅了我改主意了
Cancel the swans, I've changed my mind.
折成王冠的形状
Make 'em into the shape of crowns.
对...小小的王冠
Yes... Little crowns.
这就是沃里克伯爵的兄弟当上大主教时
That's exactly what the Earl of Warwick served up to his guests
他宴请宾客的菜单
when his brother became Archbishop.
鼠君认证以上属实
That's 100% accu-rat.
就我而言我挺喜欢那些死鸽子的
Ha. Personally, I'm happy with the odd dead pigeon.
该死的老鼠
Darn rats.
在中世纪哪种餐桌礼仪
Which of these table manners was considered acceptable
是可以接受的
in the Middle Ages?
A 在桌上吐痰
Was it A, spitting over the table.
B 嘴里塞满东西的时候说话
B, speaking while your mouth is full.
C 在餐桌上打嗝
Or C, burping at the table.
答案是...
The answer is...
C 你可以在餐桌上打嗝
C. You could burp at the table,
但不要对着别人的脸
but not into people's faces.
绝妙古希腊
现在让我们见见
And now it's time to meet
那些聪明过人的小伙子智慧的希腊人
those ever- so-clever chaps, the brainy Greeks.
晚上好我是亚里士多德
Good evening, I'm Aristotle,
古希腊哲学家
ancient Greek philosopher.
我是阿基米德发明家
And I'm Archimedes, inventor,
物理学家数学家工程师
physicist, mathematician, engineer.
以及自大狂
And big head.
穴居人带来了颜色
罗马兵建起了路辄
盛世埃及建起金字塔
要说种种伟大发明
一个民族不提不行
独一无二特别顶呱呱
柏拉图毕达哥拉斯
惊世奇才名传世
苏格拉底大秀好技能
是否是否是否有
小伙如此聪明哟
想知答案不用愁
来问希腊人
我是希腊人
群星璀璨名传开
发明日晷弹弓和砖块
别致又时尚可以这么讲
成功不稀奇
要诀是努力
汽笛首次响
烙铁初次烫
奥♥运♥会繁忙的一礼拜
玩具店走走
买♥♥个溜溜球
听清喽希腊人造出来
现在又一项
And now, from Ancient Greece,
来自古希腊的绝妙发明
another brilliant invention,
史上第一出戏
the First Play Ever.
向这出戏里的其他人问好
Greetings other person in this play.
你也好啊
Greetings yourself.
两人站在舞台上
Two men stand still