糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S01E06

Part 4 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:24 p.m.

Time again for our fairy tale series,
所有的故事在不同的历史背景下被重述
where all the stories are retold in different historical settings.
今天要讲的是
Today,
一战版《鞋子里的老妇人》
The Old Woman Who Lived In The Shoe - the First World War Version.
从前有位老妇人她住在一个鞋屋里
There was an old woman who lived in a shoe,
她的孩子太多了不知道该如何是好
she had so many children, she didn't know what to do,
但他们住的靴子是一位一战士兵的
but the boot they lived in belonged to a World War I soldier
一战时
and in the First World War,
士兵们经常把尿撒到靴子上以软化皮革
soldiers used to wee on their boots to soften the leather.
所以老妇人和她的孩子们身上总有股尿骚味
And so the old woman and all her children always stank of wee.
故事讲完啦
The end.
朝靴子撒尿的确有些恶心
Weeing on our boots was a bit yucky
但在可怕的战壕里
but we had more important things
还有更重要的事要担心
to worry about in the terrible trenches,
为了求生我们需要随时有好运相伴
where just to survive we needed all the luck we could get.
好了战士们我们到地面作战
All right men, this is it, we're going over the top.
爬出战壕越过烂泥穿过铁丝网
We climb out of the trench, run through the deep mud, over the barbed wire
向敌人的机关枪冲去
and charge headlong at the enemy's machine guns.
这简直就是自杀我们要是拒绝出击呢
That sounds like sheer suicide. What happens if we refuse?
将以临阵脱逃的罪名枪毙你
You'll be shot for cowardice.
的确如此
时刻准备着长官
Ready when you are, Sir.
好的听我指挥
OK, on my command.
别急等下
Oh, no, hang on.
差点忘了我的制♥服♥帽
Almost forgot my soft felt cap.
要是真忘了可就糟了
Ooh, that could have been nasty,
好啦冲啊啊啊啊
OK, cha-a-arge!
快来啊比利你干什么呢
Come on, Billy, what you doing?
我在找我的四叶草不知道掉哪儿了
Looking for my four-leaf clover. I've dropped it.
-什么 -没有我的幸运四叶草
- What? - I'm not gonna go run at a German machine gun
我才不会跟德国机♥枪♥硬碰硬呢
without my lucky four-leaf clover.
-等等在这儿找到了 -好
- Oh, hang on, here it is, I found it. - Right
等等检查一下带没带上幸运《圣经》
Hang on. I've got to check I've got my lucky Bible.
它就绑在你的头盔上
It's there, strapped to your helmet.
不是这个
No, that's not me lucky Bible,
这才是我的幸运《圣经》
this is me lucky Bible.
士兵经常随身携带《圣经》
-现在可以了吗 -再等等
- OK now? - Well, hang on a tick, er, er.
-幸运硬币幸运兔脚 -你从哪儿弄来的
- Lucky penny, lucky rabbit's foot. - Where'd you get that?
原本是幸运兵团的吉祥物
It belonged to the lucky regiment own mascot,
后来这个团碰到了炸♥弹♥
which got it by a bomb.
这可算不上幸运
Well, not so lucky, then!
幸运马蹄铁
Luck horse shoe.
幸运手链还有最后一项
Lucky charm bracelet. Almost there.
手指交叉冲吧
Fingers crossed, let's go.
说真的你那些愚蠢的幸运符
Honestly, you and your stupid good luck charms,
都是迷信思想在作祟
they're just silly superstitions.
撤退撤退
Retreat, retreat.
战士们退回战壕
Men get back in the trench.
主啊竟然有幸存者这还是头一回
Good lord, some survivors, this is a first.
你俩真是幸运
You are so lucky!
还觉得这是迷信的无稽之谈吗
Still think it's a load of superstitious nonsense, eh?
快点帮我找片四叶草吧
Come on, help me find a four-leaf clover.
一战期间士兵们非常迷信
World War I soldiers were very superstitious,
因此幸运符非常流行
and good luck charms were really popular.
天知道它们是否管用
Who knows if they worked,
但的确有一些非常幸运的士兵
but there certainly were some very lucky soldiers,
比如大难不死的威廉·米尔纳上尉
like Captain William Milner,
当时德军的子弹
who was saved when a German bullet
正巧射中他帽子上的金属徽章
pinged off the metal badge on his cap.
真是死里逃生
Close call.
一战中苏格兰卫队的吉祥物
During World War I, the lucky mascots of the Scots Guards
名为贝拉和贝莎但它们是哪种动物呢
were called Bella and Bertha, but what were they?
A 奶牛
A, cows.
B 金鱼
B, goldfish.
C 鸡
C, chickens
答案是...
The answer is...
A 奶牛
A, cows.
一枚炸♥弹♥在牛群中爆♥炸♥
The two cows were the only survivors from a herd
只有这两头奶牛活了下来幸运的牛儿
that had been hit by a bomb, lucky cows!
绝妙古希腊
我们希腊以神和英雄的故事著称
We Greeks were famous for stories about our gods and heroes,
它们被叫作神话
which are known as myths.
其中一些故事非常的阴森恐怖
Some of them were really gruesome and horrible too,
就像这个
like this one,
关于众神之王克洛诺斯的传说
the story of Cronos, the boss of all the Greek gods.
希腊神话秀
Greek Myth Talk.
早上好在这期特别节目中
Good morning and have we a special show lined up for you,
我将和某些希腊神灵面对面交谈
I'll be talking to some Greek gods.
首先有请希腊神界第♥一♥夫♥人♥ 克洛诺斯夫人
So let's start with the wife of the chief Greek god, Mrs Cronos.
克洛诺斯夫人据我所知
So Mrs Cronos, I understand
您的丈夫有一个恶习
that your husband had a rather nasty habit.
-是的 -他做了什么
- Yeah, that's right. - What did he do?
他把凉鞋脱到家具上了吗
Did he put his sandals up on the furniture?
他吃掉了我们所有的孩子
He ate all our babies.
我的丈夫吃了我们所有的孩子
让我们有请
Let's bring him out.
克洛诺斯
Cronos.
克洛诺斯先生
克洛诺斯先生你把自己的孩子都吃了
So Mr Cronos, you ate all your babies?
是的
Yes, I did.
吃了多少个
How many exactly?
-六个 -你为什么这样做
- Six. - Why did you do it?
因为有预言宣称我的其中一个孩子
Cos there was this prophecy that one of my children,
将推♥翻♥我的统治
was going to take over my throne.
于是你就把他们全吃了
So you ate them all?
要防患于未然
Better safe than sorry.
这很有效对不对我依旧是众神之王
Well, it worked didn't it? I'm still top god.
所有的希腊神灵都要担心
Do all top gods have to
他们的后代会推♥翻♥他们吗
worry about their children taking their jobs?
-你什么意思 -难道不是你用镰刀
- What you getting at? - Didn't you only get your father's job
阉了你父亲从此取而代之吗
by cutting off his dangly bits with a sickle?
我的丈夫吃掉了所有孩子并阉了他父亲
是我做的又怎样
So what if I did?
克洛诺斯夫人我相信您有一些事情
So Mrs Cronos, I believe you have a little something
想要告诉您的丈夫
to tell your husband.
-你以为你把六个孩子都吃了 -是的
- You know you think you ate all six of our children? - Yeah.
其实你只吃掉了五个
Well, you only ate five.
-什么 -最后那个孩子
- What? - The last one
其实是用毯子包着的一块石头
was a little rock I wrapped up in a blanket.
你好大的胆子
You never?!
是的克洛诺斯
Yes, Cronos,
我的丈夫吃掉了五个孩子并阉了他的父亲
你以为你吃掉了他但他今晚也来到了现场
you thought you had eaten him, but he is here tonight,
有请你的儿子宙斯
please welcome your son, Zeus.
你作何感想啊父亲
Yeah, how do you like that, Dad?
宙斯
-打得好使劲打 -停下来别打了
- Fight, fight, fight. - Please, please, guys, please.
宙斯你的父亲吃掉了你兄弟姐妹
Well, Zeus, your father ate all your brothers and sisters,
他原以为他也吃掉了你
he thought he'd eaten you,
你想对他说些什么吗
is there anything you'd like to say to him?
是的老爸
Yeah there is. Dad...
你知道老妈是怎样生出我的吗
you know how my mum brought me up.
-是的 -是吗现在
- Yeah. - Yeah, well now
你也会以同样的方式生出我的兄弟姐妹
you're gonna bring up my brothers and sisters.
你在说什么
What you talking about?
我给你的饮料下了药你会把他们吐出来
I poisoned your drink. You're gonna sick 'em up.
什么
What?
他真的吐了克洛诺斯刚刚吐出了
And he has, Cronos has just thrown up
他已经长大成人的儿女们
his now fully grown children,
神话中克洛诺斯的确吐出了他所有的儿女
但我得提醒所有的观众
but I must remind you
本节目的嘉宾是希腊众神
that all our guests on this programme are Greek gods,
所以请勿在家中模仿
so please don't try this at home.
看看你们你太可爱了
Look at you, oh, you look lovely.