糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E05
Part 1
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:24 p.m.
*恐怖都铎 华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians
卑劣斯图亚特 邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians
悲惨战役 凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights
昏暗古堡 英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights
恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description
凶狠凯尔特 可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians
凶残维京 冷血罪行 远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
罗马人 堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless
穴居人 野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless
绝妙古希腊 聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages
卑鄙又卑微 就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages
血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that
且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat
历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery
欢迎收看*
*Welcome to
第一季 第五集
糟糕历史
可怕古埃及
在古埃及
In ancient Egypt,
我们有些十分有趣的美容之道
we had some pretty funny ideas about what made you look good.
姑娘们 想要时刻掌握
Hey girls, do you want to keep up-to-date
古埃及最新的
with all the latest ancient Egyptian trends
妆容 发型和潮流趋势吗
in make-up, hair and fashion?
你需要全新的《法老时尚》杂♥志♥
Then you need to get new Pharaoh Phashion magazine!
本期中 我们将向你展示最潮
In this week's issue, we'll show you the hottest,
记住哦 是最潮的发饰
and we mean hottest, new hair accessories.
我爱我的新蜡锥
I love my new wax cone.
它太有型了
It's so stylish,
埃及人
真的
佩戴蜡角
埃及人
真的
佩戴蜡角
我不会把它拿下来的
I'm never taking it off,
因为根本拿不下来
because I can't.
它和我的头发融在一起了
It's melted into my hair.
好烫
Really hot.
以及前卫的潮流发型
And bold new hair fashions!
别再随大流 戴羊毛假发吧
Don't follow the flock, wear a sheep's wool wig.
埃及人
真的
戴这个
埃及人
真的
戴这个
我看起来...咩...太美了
I look baa-beautiful.
还有这一季的必备化妆品
Plus this season's must have make-up.
这性感的唇膏由红色粉末制成
There's luscious lipstick, made from red powder.
再混以脂肪
Mixed with fat.
再加上绝妙的黑铅眼线
And fabulous eyeliner made from black lead.
它还可以防晒防苍蝇
It also works as a sun block and fly deterrent.
全都是真的
我还以为我这样子就够滑稽了呢
And I thought I looked ridiculous, ha-ha!
是够滑稽的 亲爱的
Darling, you do.
我们会向你展示古埃及最流行的时装
And we reveal the very latest fashion from ancient Egypt.
你还以为你没什么可穿的
And you thought you had nothing to wear.
没错 你也可以像古埃及农民般赤♥裸♥着出门
Yes, you too can go naked like an ancient Egyptian peasant.
网罗埃及最新的潮流资讯
So for all the latest from the world of Egyptian fashion,
精彩尽在《法老时尚》杂♥志♥
don't miss Pharaoh Phashion magazine.
只需三根萝卜加两颗洋葱就能买♥♥到
Yours to buy for only three radishes and two onions.
还有什么能比头戴蜡锥更怪异呢
So, what could be weirder than wearing a waxed cone on your head?
这个就能
Well, this could. Ha-Ha
向牙疼说再见
Say, "Goodbye, toothache."
迎接健康的牙齿和牙龈吧
Say, "Hello, healthy teeth and gums,"
请使用全新的大份新鲜鼠
with new Mouse Fresh Max.
它是古埃及的牙齿护理革新技术
A revolution in tooth care direct from ancient Egypt.
使用起来很方便
It's so easy to use.
只需拿出一只活老鼠 劈成两半
Just take one live mouse, chop it in half
趁热放入嘴中
and pop it into your mouth while it's still lovely and warm.
埃及人
真的
这么干
埃及人
真的
这么干
古埃及著名牙医推荐
As recommended by leading ancient Egyptian dentists.
古埃及牙医
想要牙齿健康 我建议每次使用大份新鲜鼠
I recommend Mouse Fresh Max for healthy teeth, every time.
大份新鲜鼠 大份装的新鲜死老鼠
Mouse Fresh Max, packed to the max with dead mouse freshness.
有老鼠 更自信
It's mouseerriffic!
埃及新鲜大份鼠带你体验顶级的新鲜
Egyptian Mouse Fresh Max gives a whole new max freshness
用死老鼠的美妙风味
for maximum fresh freshness,
为你带来最新鲜的享受
with the great taste of dead mouse.
请问古埃及人
An Ancient Egyptian cure for blindness
将什么捣烂再与蜂蜜混合来治疗失明
involved mixing honey with mashed up what?
A 猪的眼睛
A, pig's eyes.
B 山羊的胃
B, goat's stomachs.
C 鳄鱼屁♥股♥
Or C, crocodile bottoms.
答案是...
The answer is...
A 捣烂的猪眼睛
A - mashed up pigs eyes.
要把混合物倒入病人的耳朵里
You poured the mixture into the patient's ear.
残酷的hhhhhhhhhhhh
hhhhhhhhhhhh统治者
路易十一 法国国王
佩恩修道院院长求见 陛下
The Abbot of Pain, my lord.
你终于来了 我亲爱的院长
Oh, thank heavens you're here, my little Abbot!
我太无聊了
I was so very bored,
你来了 就有人逗我开心了
but now, you can amuse me.
有何吩咐 路易国王
Yes, King Louis.
你有制♥造♥乐器的天赋
You have a flare for making musical instruments.
为我造一个超级有趣而且与众不同的
Make me one that's totally preposterous and highly amusing.
有史以来最不可思议的乐器
The most incredible musical instrument there ever was!
路易国王
真的下了
这个旨意
如果成功了 你将成为宠臣
Succeed, and you'll carry favour at court.
路易国王
真的下了
这个旨意
如果失败了 你就会遭受钉刑
Fail, and you'll find yourself on a spike.
如果再想不到法子 我就要被钉死了
If I don't have an idea soon, my head will be on a spike!
慢着 我想到了
Sacre bleu! I have it!
几个月后...
最好别让我失望
This had better be good.
您请看 猪钢琴
Voila! The pig piano.
太棒啦
Formidable!
我爱猪猪
I love pigs.
键盘上的每个琴键都与一个钉子相连
Each key on the keyboard is connected to a spike,
钉子会扎对应的猪的屁♥股♥ 就像这样
which jabs the rump of the appropriate pig, like so.
这确实很有意思
One is most definitely amused.
[著名电视选秀评审 以冷酷毒舌著称]
你觉得怎么样 西蒙·考威尔先生
What do you think, Monsieur Simon Cowell?
你...
Well, you...
还不错
were OK.
你...是个废物
You, were rubbish.
你 你 还有你 很糟糕
And you, you, and you, were awful.
不过 我喜欢你
But you, I like.
你晋级下一轮了
You're through to the next round.
你可能不相信
You wouldn't believe it,
但猪钢琴的故事是真实发生过的
but the pig piano is a true story.
虽然当时我还没出生
Though I wasn't alive then,
我还没老到那种程度
obviously I'm not that old.
真没有
I'm not!
的
中
微
世
卑
纪
糟糕历史hhhh
hhh电视台
新闻联播
大家好 欢迎收看《那时新闻》
Hello, and welcome to the News at When.
那时是1086年
When? 1086.
此时距诺曼国王 征服者威廉从法国
That's 20 years after the Norman King, William the Conqueror,
入侵英格兰 已有二十年的时间
invaded England from France.
如今 他想知道自己究竟征服了什么
Now he wants to know exactly what he's conquered,
于是他下令调查举国上下的每样东西
so he's ordered a survey of every single thing in the country.
他称其为《末日审判书》
He's calling it, the Doomsday Book.
英国
诺曼征服英格兰后二十年
你好 请开一下门好吗
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
剧集 | 糟糕历史（2009） | 导航列表