糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E01
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:23 p.m.
黑券 是黑券
The black spot! The black spot!
短刀 这是痣婆温蒂
Daggers, Daggers, that's Warty Wendy.
天生就长了这颗痣
She was born like that.
她还长了另一颗
She's got another one...
黑券 这是黑券
It's a black spot! It's a black spot!
是黑券 是黑券
It's a black spot! It's a black spot!
是黑券 是黑券
It's a black spot! It's a black spot!
是黑券
It's a black spot!
他一时半会是好不了了
This could take some time...
-这是黑券 -短刀
- It's a black spot! - Daggers!
-这是黑券 -冷静点
- It's a black spot! - Calm down.
听着 你不会被杀死的
Look, you're not going to get killed
除非你收到了一个上面带着黑点的信条
unless you receive a note with the black spot on it.
而且我觉得 要是有人想干掉你的话
And I think if that was going to happen,
你现在应该已经收到黑券了
it would have happened by now.
说得也对 我放心多了 谢谢你 伙计
Yeah, I suppose you're right. Thanks for setting me straight, mate.
那先这样 我该走了
Anyway, best be off.
-晚安 短刀 -晚安
- Night, Daggers! - Night.
好吧 无知是福
Well, what he doesn't know can't hurt him!
我错了
Oh, I stand corrected!
海盗内德·楼对劫持的捕鲸船船长做了什么
What did Pirate Ned Low do to the captain of a captured whaling ship?
A 把他放逐到孤岛
Did he A, maroon him;
B 割了他的耳朵
B, cut off his ears;
C 逼他走木板
Or C, make him walk the plank?
答案是...
The answer is...
B 海盗割了船长的耳朵
B. The pirate cut off his ears
还强迫他蘸着盐吃了
and made him eat them sprinkled with salt.
更惊人的海盗行径还在后头
And some pirate behaviour was even more surprising than that.
好啦 听着 渣渣们
All right, all right! Listen up, you scurvy scum!
船上已经很长时间没有来新人了
It's been many moons since I've had fresh blood aboard my ship.
我的大名你们都知道的
Now you all know me by reputation.
黑心巴特
Black Bart,
七大洋上最嗜血的海盗
the most bloodthirsty pirate ever to sail the seven seas.
黑心
巴特
是
真实
存在
的海盗
但我不认识你们
But I don't know any of you, see,
为避免产生误会
so to avoid any misunderstandings
我来给你们讲讲我船上的规矩
I'm gonna tell you how I runs things on my boat.
博恩斯 打开船规
Bones! The rule book.
规矩一 打架
RULE ONE! Fighting...
不准打架 这是反♥社♥会♥的行径
No fighting! It's anti-social,
真实
海盗
规矩
还容易丢只眼睛 是不是啊 穆里根
and it's a good way to lose an eye, isn't it, Mulligan? Hmm?
所以不准打架 如果你们吵架了
So they'll be none of that. If you have a quarrel
你们得像绅士一样在岸上解决
you settle it on shore like gentlemen.
听清楚了没有
Is that clear?
规矩二 赌博
RULE TWO! Games!
不准赌博 我不想在船上见到任何赌博
They'll be no games. I don't want to see any gambling on my ship.
另一条
真实的
海盗
规矩
把你们的钱攒着应急
Save your money for a rainy day, people.
看好你们的钱
After all, if you look after your pieces of eight,
它们就不会跑 对吧
your doubloons will look after themselves, won't they, gents? OK.
规矩三 民♥主♥表决一切
RULE THREE! We settle everything democratically.
这 是
真 的
我们投票表决事务
We take a little vote,
要是你不想做 我们就不做
and if you don't want to do it, we won't do it!
没人会强迫你
No-one's going to force you.
至于财宝 各人均分
As for treasure, we divide that up equally.
关于财宝 勿要口角 好吧
No squabbling about treasure, boys, come, come.
规矩四 睡觉时间是八点整
RULE FOUR! Bedtime is 8 o' clock sharp.
这 也
属 实
头天熬夜次日颓
Busy day pirate-ing the next day,
我不希望看到有人精疲力尽的 懂了吗
and I don't want to see any of you lads over-tired. All right?
怎么啦
What?
要是我们违反了上述规矩会怎样
What if we breaks any of those them rules?
是不是会被打屁屁然后被强制送去睡觉
Do we get sent to bed early with a smacked botty? Ha-ha!
不是 会把你放逐到荒岛上
No! We maroons you on a desert island.
不给你水喝 也不给你果子吃
We leaves you there with no water to drink, no fruit to eat,
没有动物可杀 没有树来遮阳
no animals to kill, no trees for shade.
就给你留一瓶朗姆酒和一把上膛的枪
We leaves you with a bottle of rum and a loaded pistol.
真实的
海盗
罚刑
现在选择权在你手上
Now the choice is yours.
你是选择慢慢地饿死呢
You can starve to death, slowly,
还是直接一枪自我了结掉... 嘣
or you can end it all, swiftly... BANG!
这才像话
Well, that's more like it! Ha-ha!
妙极 我很高兴大家欢乐多多
Wonderful! I'm glad you're all having so much fun.
但现在都七点五十五分了
This is great, but it is five to eight, guys,
所以 大家快去睡觉觉吧
so beddy-byes!
全部属实 鼠君保证 百分百属实
Ah, 'tis all true! Ah-ha! 'Tis 100% accu-rat-e! Ha-ha-ha!
许多海盗规矩并不像你想的那样严厉
Many pirate rules weren't as tough as you'd expect,
或者说 许多情况下
oh, no, in many ways
他们就是极品娘娘腔啊 不过
they were just great big cissies! Though, actually,
不推荐当着海盗的面这么直说啊
I wouldn't recommend saying that to a pirate's face! Ha-ha!
野蛮的石器时代
猜猜在石器时代 我们使用什么工具呢
Guess what we used for tools in the Stone Age, eh?
放弃啦
Give up?
就是石头啊 身处石器时代
Stones! It was the Stone Age,
我们可以用石头做一大堆事情呢
and it's amazing what you can do with a stone.
石器时代工具最新推出
New from Stone Age tools
一整套全新的石器时代工具
comes a brand new set of Stone Age tools.
没错 就是万能石器时代工具套装
Yes, it's the all-purpose Stone Age tool set
石器时代
工具套装
完美适用于各种石器时代洞穴周边工作
for all those Stone Age tasks that need doing around the cave.
套装包括 锐石片
Including...sharp stone,
锐石片
利于切割 还有
useful for cutting, and...
锐石片 便于切片 另有
sharp stone, good for slicing. Plus...
锐石片
锐石片
锐石片 用于砍剁
sharp stone, for chopping.
还要为您推出
And now... introducing
钝石块
钝石块
blunt stone,
捶打利器
great for hammering!
更多优♥惠♥
And that's not all,
今日订购 即可免费获得这块锐石片
because order today and get this Sharp Stone absolutely free!
锐石片
免费得 锐石片
想拥有最锋利时髦的工具吗
Be the sharpest tool in the box,
石器时代工具套装
马上订购多功能石器时代工具套装
buy the all-purpose Stone Age Tool Set, today!
警告
锐石片很锋利 可能致伤
Sharp Stone is sharp and can cause injury.
锐石片和钝石块
Sharp Stones and Blunt Stones.
务 必 阅 读 标 签
标签
Label!
锐石片和钝石块作为人类仅有的两种工具
Sharp stones, and blunt stones, were all the tools humans had
长达两百万年
for two million years,
直到某些聪明人发现了金属 进入了
until some clever-clogs discovered metal in...
且听我说 没错 青铜时代
wait for it...yes, the Bronze Age!
设想一下在青铜时代以前取得第三名
Imagine coming third before the Bronze Age, eh?
你能获得的只有石牌
All you'd have got is a stone medal!
穴居人用石头作工具 用什么作厕纸
Cavemen used stones as tools, but what did they use for toilet paper?
A 苔藓
Was it A, Moss;
B 鹿皮
B, deer skin;
C 刺猬皮
Or C, hedgehog skin?
答案是
The answer is...
A 苔藓
A, Moss;
我们对石器时代人类的认识大多源自
We find out much of what we know about Stone Age man
石器时代坟墓中发现的东西
from what has been found in Stone Age graves.
以下是我们想象的石器时代葬礼
Here's what we think Stone Age burials were like.
我们今日共聚一堂
You join us on this,
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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