糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E09
Part 3
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:24 p.m.
B 《伦敦大桥垮下来》
B, London Bridge is falling down?
C 《猫头鹰与猫》
Or C, The Owl and the Pussycat.
答案是...
The answer is...
B 《伦敦大桥垮下来》
B, London Bridge is falling down.
它讲述了维京人攻打伦敦的故事
It's about a Viking attack on London.
此外还有一则
And here's one more thing
维京人不为人知的趣事
you probably didn't know about the Vikings.
与大众认知恰恰相反
Contrary to popular opinion,
维京战士的头盔上并无一对牛角
Viking warriors didn't actually have cow horns on their helmets.
这是真的
That's right.
实际上 他们头盔上的是麋鹿角
In fact, they had moose antlers.
-不 我们没有 -抱歉 我犯傻了
- No, we didn't. - No. No, silly me.
他们用的是兔耳朵
They had bunny ears.
-别乱开玩笑 -那就是粉红蝴蝶结
- Don't be ridiculous. - Big pink bows, then?
-当然不是 -奶牛乳♥房♥♥
- Of course not. - Cow udders?
奥丁神 一道雷劈了我吧
By Odin's thunder!
-你们头盔上到底有什么 -啥也没有
- Well, what did you have then? - Nothing.
我们头盔上啥都没有
We had nothing on our helmets.
这样岂不是很无趣
Well, isn't that a bit boring?
我们要打仗 又不是参加什么时装展览
We're fighting battles, not having a fashion parade.
在与撒克逊人的对战中
What would be the use of having great big cow udders on your head
头顶奶牛乳♥房♥♥有什么用啊
in a war with the Saxons?
实际上 它们还挺有用的
Actually that is rather effective.
没错 维京人的战斗头盔上面
That's right, Vikings didn't actually go to battle with
的确没有一对牛角
horns on their helmets.
太可惜了 这头盔多有范儿啊
It's a shame really, cos it's a smashing look.
这种说法是在维多利亚时代被杜撰的
The idea was in fact made up in Victorian times.
说实话 许多历史事件
To be honest, lots of historical facts
实际上都不是真的
turn out just not to be true,
老师的话可不能全信
so watch what your teachers tell ya, mmm?
糟糕的老师
亚瑟王和圆桌骑士们
So Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table
踏上了寻找圣杯的征程
set off in search of The Holy Grail.
他们在路上遇到了数位...
On the way they encountered numerous...
-老师 我受够了 -怎么了
- I've heard enough, teacher. - What's going on?!
你因涉嫌向孩子们传播不实知识而被捕
I'm arresting you for disseminating falsehoods to young children.
-你是说 -说谎 满口胡言
- You mean... - Lying. Telling fibs.
你们得知道
You see...
你们老师所言
皆系无稽之谈
无亚瑟 没骑士
也无圆桌会议
[传说中赐予亚瑟王王者之剑]
湖中妖女传说
也系凭空捏造
抱歉令你失望
但这绝非事实
绝非事实
老师一派胡言
说谎难以自圆
根本没有王者之剑
[亚瑟王的圆桌武士之一人 高洁之士 最终寻得圣杯]
加拉哈德
从未晓得
[亚瑟王圆桌武士中的第一位勇士]
兰斯洛特
别瞎搅合
[亚瑟王的妻子 兰斯洛特的情人]
桂妮薇儿
乃传说尔
看看我啊 我是真的
虚构梅林 速速消失
没有巫师 显而易见
它们绝非事实
说到这个问题
我必须得承认
迪克·特平 确是劫匪
[传说他骑着宝马"黑贝丝"一夜从伦敦赶到约克郡]
黑贝丝不是他良驹
图坦卡蒙陵墓
[谁扰乱了这位法老的安宁 死神之翼将在他头上降临]
从未被诅咒
[罗马骑兵军官 英格兰等地保护圣徒]
圣乔治从未屠龙
还有更糟的
海盗从不让俘虏
[船上犯罪的人被迫走过船边的木板跳进海里]
走跳板跳海
[伊丽莎白时代著名冒险家]
沃尔特·雷利爵士也未
引进土豆和薯条
[侠盗罗宾汉和爱人玛丽安]
罗宾汉和玛丽安
也是世人编造
诺丁汉的法外之徒
它们绝非事实
满嘴胡言乱语
难怪裤子着火
[罗宾汉的牧师兼管家]
塔克修士也查无此人
维京头盔
没有牛角
[英格兰国王 英勇对抗维京海盗]
阿佛列大帝与蛋糕
也是胡编乱造
[阿佛列大帝苦思如何击退丹麦人 忘了炉子上的蛋糕]
它没被烤焦
书上胡说八道
对你深感遗憾
希望你被无视
因为维多利亚女王
从未说过
"我不觉得好笑"
你们这帮孩子说我说了啥
You children think I said what?
有人说陛下您说过 "我不觉得好笑"
They think you said, "We are not amused," Your Highness.
真的吗 确实挺好玩的
Really? That's quite funny, isn't it?
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈
哈哈哈
绝非事实 绝非事实
绝非事实
绝妙古希腊
古希腊不同地方的人们彼此千差万别
People from the different bits of Ancient Greece were very different from each other.
雅典人和斯巴达人就完全不同
The Greeks from Athens and sparta really were like chalk and cheese.
这是雅典人家
This is the Athenian family of Athens.
雅典人家
大家好 我是戏剧作家
Hi. I'm a playwright.
他们交换女主人的对象是 斯巴达人家
And they're doing a wife swap with the Spartan family of Sparta.
斯巴达人家
我是名勇士
I'm a warrior.
这两种迥异的希腊文化将会如何交锋呢
So how will these two very different Greek cultures get on?
雅典人家
斯巴达人家
交换女主人
古希腊
历史版
帮忙放下袋子 斯巴达奴隶
Help me with my bags, Spartan slave,
再跟屋主说声
and then go and tell the master of the house
雅典夫人已经到了
that Mrs Athenian has arrived.
我就是屋主
I am the master of the house.
抱歉 你家宝贝儿子呢
I'm sorry. And, um, and where's your dear son?
我记得你家跟我家一样有个七岁大的儿子
I believe like us you have a seven-year-old boy.
是的
I do.
他赤身裸体与别家小孩在山上打架呢
He's out naked in the hills, fighting with other Spartan children.
斯巴达小孩就这么成长
他什么时候回家
Oh. And when would he be back?
等他年满15岁
When he's 15.
雅典那边开局也不利
Things aren't getting off to a much better start in the Athenian household.
欢迎 欢迎斯巴达夫人来我们家
Oh, welcome, welcome, Mrs Spartan to our home.
我是雅典先生 这是我儿子
I'm Mr Athenian. This is my son.
他怎么这么瘦弱苍白
Why is he so puny and sickly?
他出生时怎么没送到山上自生自灭
Why was he not taken up a mountain to die at birth?
斯巴达人真让弱小的孩子自生自灭
他眼睛里流出的水是什么玩意儿
What's that water coming from his eyes, eh?
开玩笑呢 她开玩笑呢
She joking. She's joking.
斯巴达人对妇女的角色有不同的定位
And Spartans have a very different idea of a woman's role.
做晚饭的时候到了
Right, time to get something for supper.
好极了 你要去猎什么
Great, what are you hunting?
是你要去猎什么
What are you hunting?
给我们打只兔子来
Go get us a rabbit.
我只是个柔弱的雅典妇女
But I'm just a delicate Athenian woman.
除了拜访其他妇女或是参加葬礼
I'm only allowed out of the house
我从来大门不出二门不迈的
apart from to visit other women or go to funerals.
你是要去参与葬礼
You are going to a funeral...
兔子的葬礼
The rabbit's.
斯巴达人真是太不可思议了
These Spartans are unbelievable.
斯巴达姑娘们在学校要学习摔跤和投标枪
At school, Spartan girls learn how to wrestle and throw javelins.
你能想象吗 姑娘家家的跑到学校去
Imagine that? A girl going to school!
她们应该待在家里 学学针线活儿
They should be at home, learning how to sew.
那么 雅典先生
So, Mr Athenian,
你的戏剧里有彪悍有力的女性角色吗
are there any parts in your plays for a strong woman?
当然 当然
Oh, yes, yes.
很好 我很适合扮演
Right, then I should play it.
不行
Oh, no.
你是女人 女性角色都是由男士替演的
You're a woman. All female parts are played by men.
那好吧 我只能到时候去看表演了
Oh, right, well, I'll come and watch it then.
别傻了 你一个女人是不能去看表演的
Oh, don't be silly, you're not allowed, you're a woman.
这雅典人真是懦夫一个
What a wimp this Athenian is, eh?
什么人会拿戏剧创作当工作
I mean, what kind of a job is writing plays, eh?
在斯巴达 晚上要想出去消遣
In Sparta, if you want a good night out
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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