糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S01E02

Part 3 Jan. 3, 2021, 2:23 p.m.

第二你的爪子绝对碰不到我的钥匙
And two, you will never get your hands on my keys.
他们赢了我们投降了
They have won the war! We have surrendered!
大伙各自逃命去吧
Every man for himself!
好吧这把钥匙是开前门的
Right, this one's for the front door.
打开毫不费劲
It's quite easy.
这把是开后门的
This one's for the back gate.
有点容易卡着
It's a little bit sticky.
你插♥进♥去可得扭一扭
You might have to wiggle it a bit.
你知道吗二战期间
Did you know that, during the war,
许多不断试图逃脱的盟军士兵
lots of the allied soldiers who kept escaping
被转移到了古老的德国城♥堡♥ 科尔迪兹
were moved to the old German castle, Colditz,
因为那本该是一座防逃堡垒
because Colditz was meant to be escape-proof.
但事实上由科尔迪兹越狱的囚犯数量
But there were more escapes from Colditz
是所有战俘营中最多的
than any other prisoner of war camp.
干得漂亮伙计们
I say, well done, chaps!
卑劣的
斯图亚特王朝
愚蠢的死法之
弗朗西斯·培根
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
真人真事乐哈哈*
*They're funny cos they're true
死得傻呀死得傻*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths
下次不要到你家*
*Hope next time it's not you.
死亡登记处
下一位
Next.
-您好您好 -姓名
- Hello hello. - Name?
弗朗西斯·培根
Francis Bacon.
-卒于 -1626年
- Year of death? - 1626.
-职业 -思想家学者
- Profession? - Philosopher and academic.
那就填"游手好闲"好了死亡原因
I'll just put workshy layabout. Method of death?
当我路过一片雪地时
Ah, well, I was journeying through the snow
突然有了个好主意
when suddenly I had a brilliant idea,
可以冷冻贮存食物
that by freezing food, I could preserve it.
我迫切地想要印证这一想法
I was anxious to try out my theory as soon as possible,
于是就从一位贫困妇人家
so I went to a poor woman's house
买♥♥了只刚刚去掉内脏的鸡
and bought a freshly-gutted chicken.
我把冰填进鸡肚中里里外外包裹好
I immediately stuffed it full of ice, packing it inside and out.
-这办法有效吗 -有效啊
- And did it work? - Oh, yes,yes, yes.
鸡肉保存得很好
The chicken was perfectly preserved.
那你怎么会来这的
Hm. So, er, why are you here?
在实验期间我患了重感冒
Ah, well, during the experiment, I got very cold
并感染了肺炎之后就病逝了
and contracted pneumonia and died.
-就因为要冷冻一只鸡吗 -是的
- From freezing a chicken? - Yes, yes...
你有趣死了
Oh, you're dead funny.
有时候我真爱死这份工作了
I love my job sometimes, I do. Ohh.
下一位
Next!
死得傻呀死得傻下次不要到你家*
*Stupid deaths, stupid deaths. Hope next time it's not you.
没错就是斯图亚特时期的人
That's right, it was a Stuart
首先想到了冷冻鸡肉的主意
who first came up with the idea of freezing chickens.
事实上那时有很多关于食物的新想法
In fact, there were lots of new food ideas in Stuart times.
斯图
亚特
一家人
-帕姆怎么啦 -什么
- What is it, Pam? - What?
[英格兰国王内战时期被推上断头台]
你的脸色堪比断头台上的查理一世
You look like Charles I on the chopping block.
都怪隔壁那个凯茜·琼斯她又来炫耀
Arh, it's that Cathy Jones next door, been showing off again.
之前她来问我
You know earlier she said to me,
要不要过来喝杯咖啡啊
do you wanna come round for a coffee?
-咖啡是啥 -就是某种讨厌的新饮料
- What's a coffee? - It's some horrible new drink apparently,
现在她又拿着把叉子到处炫耀起来
and now she's just been round with a fork!
琼斯家竟然还有叉子呢
The Joneses have got a fork?
是人手一把
Well, they've got one each!
人家都不稀罕"用刀分割食物"了
None of this "spearing your food on a knife" malarkey for them, oh, no,
人家什么都要最好的真让我恶心
they've got to have the best, makes me sick!
他们家还有那种叫什么冰淇淋的东西
Yeah, and they've got this new ice cream stuff.
还有什么可可饮料
And drinking chocolate.
不用再担心我们不如琼斯家时髦了
Well, I wouldn't worry about keeping up with the Joneses any more,
因为你们老爹我得了件特别的小玩意
because your old dad has got a special little something.
这是什么
What is that?
这叫香蕉
It's a banana.
香蕉琼斯太太有吗
A banana? And has Mrs Jones got one of these?
肯定没这是东伦敦出♥售♥的第一只香蕉
Certainly not. It's the first one on sale in the East End!
香蕉于1663年开始
在
英
国
出
售
在
英
国
出
售
香蕉于1663年开始
迈克它可真美美极了
Oh, Mike, it's beautiful, it's gorgeous.
看这黄色看这曲线
It's so, it's so yellow and so curved.
香-蕉
Ba-na-na!
那它是用来干吗的
So, what's it for?
-我觉得是用来吃的 -好吧
- I think you eat it. - Oh, right.
味道真不咋地
That, that's, that's disgusting.
-真抱歉 -没关系
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Oh, no matter.
凯茜
Cathy.
小茜快看我有只香蕉
Cath, look at me I've got a banana.
家有香蕉欢乐多
Mmm, having lots of banana fun over here.
来看啊
Oh, look at...
-炫耀帝 -怎么了
- Show off. - What is it?
又炫耀起她那个菠萝了
Oh, she's waving her pineapple at me.
为啥你就不能给我也买♥♥个菠萝
Why didn't you get me a pineapple?!
别人都没有香蕉啊
Well, no-one else has got a banana.
你这么爱它那你把它吃了吧吃啊
Oh, well you eat it if you like it so much then. Go on.
琼斯太太能炫耀她有菠萝
Mrs Jones was showing off with that pineapple,
是因为在当时
because back in those days
菠萝真的非常稀少
pineapples were really very rare,
也非常昂贵只有有钱人才买♥♥得起
and very valuable, so only rich people could afford to have them,
他们买♥♥来也不吃而是拿来做装饰
and instead of eating them they would keep them on display
直到菠萝烂掉
until they just rotted away.
烂掉的食物就别在壁炉上摆着了
Rotten food shouldn't be on the mantlepiece,
到我肚子里来
it should be in my tummy, hah!
斯图亚特王朝时代用来治疗肺病的食物是
What did Stuarts think you should eat to cure lung disease?
A 牛奶煮蜗牛加小虫子
Was it A, snails boiled in milk, with a few worms.
B 蜂蜜炸蟾蜍加小飞蝇
B, toads fried in honey, with a few flies.
C 蛇皮里烤制的牛乳♥房♥♥
Or C, cow udders baked in a snake skin.
答案是...
The answer is...
A 牛奶煮蜗牛再加点碎虫子调味
A, snails boiled in milk - just add chopped worms to taste!
可怕古埃及
在家居改造方面
Ancient Egyptians had some
古埃及人有不少疯狂的想法
crazy ideas about home improvements.
我是法老佩皮二世
Hey, I'm King Pepi II,
你可以唤我法老我爱埃及
but you can call me pharaoh. Now I love Egypt.
我六岁就开始统治这片土地了
I've ruled the place since the age of six, for crying out loud.
但要说到这个国度唯一使我抓狂的东西
But if there's one thing that drives me mad about this country,
就是这些讨厌的苍蝇了
it's all these pesky flies.
你们走开好不好真恶心
Would you get gone! Vomit!
我要抓狂啦
It was driving me crazy.
直到我发明了这玩意儿
Until I invented, this!
佩皮法老超黏抗苍蝇蜂蜜奴隶
The King Pepi super sticky, anti-fly honey slave.
这群讨厌的苍蝇爱死这又甜又黏的东西了
Those pesky flies can't get enough of that sweet sticky stuff
就是蜂蜜啦
and I am talking honey.
实际上它们都忙着在这里飞来飞去
In fact, they're so busy flying around here,
我那边就没有苍蝇了
there are no flies on me.
实乃埃及人家必备之物
No Egyptian household is complete without one -
我每个房♥间都有一个我房♥间可多了
I've got one in every room, and I got a lot of rooms!
很简单找来个奴隶给他浇上蜂蜜
It's easy, take one slave, cover him in honey
佩皮法老真这么做的
佩皮法老真这么做的
享受没苍蝇的几小时放松时光
and enjoy hours of fly-free relaxation.
赶走苍蝇还等什么
So don't delay to keep those flies away,
今天就购买♥♥佩皮法老超黏
get your King Pepi super sticky,
抗苍蝇蜂蜜奴隶吧
anti-fly honey slave today,
所有贩奴者处均有售不包括蜂蜜和苍蝇
如果你觉得法老的生活疯狂至极
If you think Pharaoh's lives were crazy,
他们死后更是有过之而无不及