糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S01E03
Part 2
Jan. 3, 2021, 2:23 p.m.
How about we call it a draw?
历史上维京人的名字
Vikings were known in history
都是名字加昵称
by their first names and their nicknames.
真的有个维京人叫笨手笨脚艾斯戈特
There really was one called Asgot the Clumsy
甚至有人叫臭脚康
and even one called Kon Smelly Feet.
不难想象他为什么叫这个名字吧
No prizes for guessing how he got his name. Phewee!
维京信仰第二名
Viking belief number two.
维京人相信天空是由四个矮人支撑的
Vikings believed that the sky was held up by four dwarves
分别叫做北 南 东和西
called North, South, East and West.
天空是由矮人支撑的吗
The sky held up by dwarves?
难怪巨人总磕着头
No wonder giant keep hitting head.
凶残的维京人
我们维京人确实相信一些搞笑的事情
We Vikings did believe some funny things.
我们认为如果战死沙场
We thought that if we died in battle
那我们就会上维京天堂
then we'd get to go to Viking heaven.
但如果死于其它方式 就会下维京地狱
But if we died any other way, we'd go to Viking hell.
姓名
Name.
猛汉托威尔
Thorvel the Fierce.
战死沙场吗
Died in battle?
你认为呢
What do you think?
是啊 进去吧
Oh, yeah. In you go.
欢迎来到瓦尔哈拉殿堂 维京天堂
Welcome to Valhalla, Viking heaven.
[北欧神话主神兼死亡之神奥丁接待英灵的殿堂]
你好
Hi.
姓名
Name?
勇敢者艾斯戈特
Asgot the Brave.
你貌似不在我的名单上
You don't seem to be on my list.
我应该在
Well, I should be.
瓦尔哈拉殿堂只对战死沙场的维京人开放
Well, Valhalla's only for Vikings who died in battle.
-你死于战争吗 -是的
- Did you die in battle? - Yes.
你不在名单上 我不能随便让人进去
Well, you're not on my list. I can't just let anyone in.
瓦尔哈拉殿堂很受欢迎
Valhalla's a very popular place.
可以整夜用你敌人的头骨喝酒
You get to drink all night from the skull's of your enemies.
干杯
Cheers!
整天打架
And you get to fight all day.
维京人真的相信这个
-小伙子们 -很好
- Boys! - Great.
只是问问 如果不是战死沙场
What would happen, out of interest,
那又会怎么样呢
if say you didn't die in battle.
比如说死在床上的人会去哪呢
Say, you died in bed, where would you go?
那我不得不送你下维京地狱了
Well, then I'd have to send you down to Viking hell.
那是个冻死人的茅草屋
That's a freezing thatched hall
屋顶是用毒蛇脊柱做的
whose roof timbers are made from the spines of serpents
会往下滴毒液
which drip poison on to those below.
维京人也相信这个
而且你只能喝羊尿
And you have nothing to drink but goat's urine.
幸好我战死沙场了
Well. It's a good job I died in battle,
因为我确实死于战争
then, because I did die in battle.
好吧 进去吧勇敢者艾斯戈特
All right, in you go Asgot the Brave.
勇敢者艾斯戈特 不不不
Asgot the Brave? No, no, no.
他是笨手笨脚艾斯戈特
That's Asgot the Clumsy.
什么
Eh?
他是史上最笨拙的维京人
Yeah, the clumsiest Viking that ever lived.
他在床上吃早餐
He was having breakfast in bed,
意外地用匕♥首♥戳死了自己 他是个蠢货
accidentally stabbed himself with his own dagger. He's an idiot!
那你不是死于战争咯
So you didn't die in battle, then?
-不是 -你确实是死在床上吗
- No. - You did in fact die in bed?
是的
Yes.
那我还是来一品脱山羊尿吧
Suppose it's a pint of goat's urine for me, then, isn't it?
是啊 请走吧
Yeah. Move along, please.
维京信仰第一名
Viking belief number one.
维京相信他们的神 索尔
The Vikings believed that their god, Thor,
曾经打扮成女人
once dressed up as a woman
骗过了偷走他锤子的巨人
to fool a giant who had stolen his hammer.
索尔去把锤子找回来
Thor went to get it back.
你好啊 大美女
Oh, hello, you very pretty girl.
美女伤了巨人的头
Pretty girl hurt giant's head.
天空太低了
Sky too low.
好臭 做个维京巨人真不好玩
Stinky, no fun being Viking giant.
愚蠢
开路人
真假辨析
True or false?
著名探险家克里斯托弗·哥伦布
Famous explorer Christopher Columbus
是第一个发现美洲的欧洲人吗
was the first European to discover America?
答案是
It's...
假的
false-
一个叫雷夫·埃里克森的维京人
A Viking called Leif Erikson
到达美洲的时间比他早了近五百年
got there almost 500 years before him.
还有另一个著名的探险家
And here's another famous explorer
也不是第一个到达使他成名的土地的
who didn't get there first.
我就纳闷了
I wonder why.
斯科特船长参加征服南极挑战赛
Captain Scott in race to the South Pole.
我们勇敢的英国探险者会击败挪威人吗
Will our hardy British explorers beat the Norwegians?
好了 该做最后一次检查了
OK, boy, time for our final checks.
南极洲 1911年11月
什么
What?
我们检查一下这些英国器械吧
Let's have a look at some of this good old British equipment, shall we?
极地器械真品
好的 斯科特船长
Righto, Captain Scott, sir.
一湿就结冰的薄羊毛衫
Thin woollen jumper that freezes when wet.
1:薄羊毛衫
没问题
Check.
穿上保证长皮疹的扎人羊毛裤
Scratchy woollen trousers, guaranteed to cause a rash.
2:扎人羊毛裤
没问题
Check.
磨脚磨得疼死人的硬皮靴
Agonisingly hard leather boots.
3:硬皮靴
刚穿上 长官
Just put them on, sir.
脚已经磨出水泡了
I've got blisters already.
好样的
Top-o!
不足的食物供给
Insufficient food supplies.
4:有限的食物供给
没问题
Check.
那最好不是我那半苹果
That better not have been my half of the apple.
粘在冰上的重得过分的木雪橇
Absurdly heavy wooden sled that sticks to ice.
5:粘在冰上的重木雪橇
没问题
Check.
适应南极气候的强壮雪橇犬
Hardy sled dogs- perfect for the South Pole's weather conditions.
不 当然没有 长官
No, certainly not, sir.
6:没有雪橇犬
干得不错 奥茨
Well done Oates, old boy.
没骗成你 挪威人才用那个
Nearly got you. The Norwegians use those.
一点都不爷们儿
The big girls.
不适合南极地形的劣马
Poor quality horses, ill-suited to Antarctic terrain.
7:品质低劣的马
有六匹 长官
Six, sir.
我们就记有五匹好了
Better make that five.
好了 就这些
Right, that's it.
我想我们准备好上路了
I think we're just about ready to go.
让那些挪威人见识见识 长官
Let's show those Norwegians what for, sir.
走起
Tallyho.
长官 有时 我会想这些顶级的装备
Sometimes I think with all this top-notch equipment, sir,
是不是让这次冒险变得太简单了
it makes adventuring almost too easy.
我能理解 奥茨老伙计
I know what you mean Oates, old boy.
我能理解
I know what you mean.
这些东西
That list of equipment
真的是当初英国人去南极的全部装备
is all the stuff the British really took to the South Pole.
之后怎么样了
And what happened to them?
他们不仅输了比赛
Well, not only did they lose the race,
还都死在这片冰冻荒原了
they all died in the frozen wasteland.
还能怎么样呢
Well, what do you want?
谁让我们是《糟糕历史》呢
This is Horrible Histories.
可怕古埃及
想像我一样漂亮可不容易
Looking this good isn't easy.
做一个木乃伊 复杂得要死
It's dead complicated to make a mummy.
我等对法老 知之甚不少
考古学家来 墓穴自然开
何以将其葬 已故法老王
做个木乃伊 房♥间好美丽
法老桌上躺 一切就绪状
鼻腔牵根线 大脑再不见
肠肺胃和肝 掏出放一边
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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