哈莉·奎茵

好的。我给贝内西奥买♥♥了杏仁奶。
Okay. I got the almond milk for Benecio.
啊!
Ah!
啊!
Ah!
总是碰上死胡同。
Always with the dead ends.
你为什么还要追我？
Why are you still chasing me?
我现在是个不同的人了。
I'm a different person now.
我再也不待在黑暗的小巷里了。
I haven't been in a dark alley in forever.
拜托，我是个居家爸爸。
Come on, I'm a stay-at-home dad.
我的意思是，我不是他们的“爸爸”。
I mean, I'm not their "Dad."
我不是想取代他。
I'm not trying to replace him.
除非有一天他们请求我。
Unless one day they asked me.
我的意思是，这对我来说意味着整个世界。
I mean, that would mean the world to me.
你知道，在学校烘焙义卖♥♥会上我们没找到你。
You know, we missed you at the school bake sale.
所有家长都投了票。
All the parents took a vote.
你的柠檬方块糟透了，你必须死。
Your lemon squares sucked and you're gonna die.
[西班牙语]
Que paso, corazon?
你又做了一个黛比的噩梦吗？
Did you have another Debbie nightmare?
是的。
Yes.
哇……我的爱。
Aww... mi amor.
你做过辣香肠的梦吗？
Did you have the chorizo dream?
不，她没再试图切掉我的阴♥茎♥，
No, she didn't try to cut off my penis,
并在书市上出♥售♥。
and serve it at a book fair again.
但我已经好几个星期没有睡个好觉了。
But I haven't had a decent night's sleep in weeks.
贝瑟尼……这个黛比可能是我迄今为止最具挑战性的敌人。
Bethany... this Debbie may be my most challenging enemy yet.
♪ 我曾经认为人生是一场悲剧 ♪
♪ I used to think life was a tragedy ♪
♪ 我只能成为混乱的代理人 ♪
♪ An agent of Chaos was all I could be ♪
♪ 但我找到了一个让我更完整的最好的朋友 ♪
♪ But I found a best friend who completes me ♪
♪ 现在我意识到生活是一出喜剧 ♪
♪ And now I realize life's a comedy ♪
♪ 直到他们接过我们的担子 ♪
♪ Wait 'til they get a load of us ♪
♪ 没人会问“何必这么严肃？” ♪
♪ No one will ask "Why so serious?" ♪
♪每天只需要一个笑话 ♪
♪ All it takes is a joke a day ♪
♪ 就能驱散阴霾 ♪
♪ To keep the gloom away ♪
♪ 我们生活在一个社会中 ♪
♪ We live in a society ♪
♪ 但是，宝贝，感觉就像只有你和我 ♪
♪ But, baby, it feels like it's just you and me ♪
♪ 我想你我注定要这样做 ♪
♪ I think you and I are destined to do this ♪
♪ 永远 ♪
♪ Forever ♪
♪ 直到他们接过我们的担子 ♪
♪ Wait 'til they get a load of us ♪
早上好，珍妮丝。
Good morning, Janice.
最美的学校接待员怎么样？
How is the most beautiful school receptionist?
喔，是你！
Oh, you!
哎呀！容我关掉它。
Oops! Let me turn this off.
我只是偷瞧一下我的节目。
I was just sneaking my shows.
但是谁还需要电视，当你碰到
But who needs TV when you've got
哥谭市最臭名昭著的犯罪主谋
Gotham City's most infamous criminal mastermind
变成理智的调酒师再变回疯狂
turned sane bartender turned back into unhinged
但现在同样迷人的精神病。
but now equally charming psychopath.
珍妮丝，拜托。
Janice, please.
我只是贝内西奥和索菲亚平凡的继父。
I'm just plain ol' Benecio and Sophia's stepdad.
话说你有学生名单吗
Speaking of, do you have the student list
参加新的西班牙语双沉浸课程的？
for the new Spanish dual immersion program?
我们的孩子接受双语教育对我们来说非常重要。
It's so important to us that our kids get a bilingual education.
这个，我真的不应该在下周之前展示这个列表。
Well, I'm not really supposed to show this list until next week.
- 我不知道... - 嗯。
- I don't know...
- Mmm.
哦，你知道，我没法对你说不。
Oh, you know, I can't say no to you.
这就是。
Here it is.
啊……
Ah...
早！
Morning!
新的西班牙语双沉浸式学生名单。
The New Spanish dual immersion student list.
我想我们都很激动能看到那个
I think we're all very excited to see that
麦迪逊和麦肯纳加入了，
Madison and McKenna got in,
我说对吗？
Am I right?
你的孩子参加了？
Your kids got in?
现在我们就快知道女仆是否在我们
Now we're gonna know if the maids are talking about us
去坎昆度假时议论我们了。
when we're on vacation in Cancun.
毕竟我也无能为力，如果我跟
And I can't help it if I have connections
选拔委员会有关系。
on the election board.
明年好运，
Better luck next year,
或者正如我的女仆所说， “escupo en tu comida”。（我往你吃的吐吐沫）
or as my maid says, "escupo en tu comida."
你一定是在开玩笑吧。
You've got to be kidding me.
你在广♥告♥上浪费了4亿美元！
You wasted $400 million on ads!
还有一百万用于定制佩斯糖果？
And another million on custom Pez?
- 人们喜欢佩斯。- 没有人喜欢佩斯。
- People love Pez.
- No one loves Pez.
你不需要这些东西来赢。
You don't need this stuff to win.
在辩论中，你可以直接告诉人们
In the debates, you can just tell people directly
你对哥谭的计划和你的主张。
your plans for Gotham and what you stand for.
还有，我一直想问你。
Also, I've been meaning to ask you.
你主张什么？
What do you stand for?
嗯，这是，嗯……
Well, it's, um...
我……
I...
不用担心，小心肝。
Don't worry your pretty little heart.
我会教他如何像专业人士一样声音渐小。
I'll teach him how to trail off like a pro.
哈！
Ha!
你还在为双沉浸课程而烦恼吗？
Are you still upset about the dual immersion program?
是的，太不公平了！
Yes, it's so unfair!
这个课程♥真♥能帮助孩子们接受他们的文化遗产。
This program would really help the kids embrace their heritage.
你知道，有一次，我在足球训练中挑出了贝内西奥，
You know, one time, I picked Benecio up from soccer practice,
而我听到其他一些孩子嘲笑他的名字。
and I heard some other kids mocking his name.
这个课程会给他提供一些东西
This program would offer him something
是我不能给他的。更加自信。
I can't give him. More self-confidence.
有机会以他的名字感到自豪。
The opportunity to feel a sense of pride in his name.
大大提升他的成绩
A great boost on his transcript
可供他申请在奥柏林学院提前录取。
for when he applies to early admission at Oberlin.
你总是想着奥柏林学院。
Always you with Oberlin.
晚餐时间！
Dinnertime!
嘿，先生，这是第二击。
Hey, mister, that's strike two.
你再这样跳开，我们这就要交锋呢。
You pop off like that again, we're gonna cross swords.
我只打算让哥谭变得更好。
I'm all about changing Gotham for the better.
如果我在撒谎，愿上帝击倒你。
And if I'm lying, may God strike you down.
你知道规矩。
You know the rules.
吃晚餐时不要看电视。
There's no TV during dinner.
我想我们刚刚看到有人死了。
I think we just saw someone die.
没错，伙计。
Sure did, buddy.
所以，假设我们没能加入双重沉浸课程。
So, say we couldn't get into the dual immersion program.
你们还有别的什么感兴趣的，嗯？
What's another thing you guys are interested in, huh?
呃，艺术或足球怎样？
Uh, what about art or soccer?
进入运动学永远不会太早，贝内西奥。
It's never too early to get into kinesiology, Benecio.
呃，我可以直接就叫“本”吗？
Uh, can I just go by "Ben"?
我不想在学校里特立独行。
I don't want to stand out in school.
就是这样！黛比要把撬胎棍直接放进——
That's it! Debbie is gonna get a tire iron straight into the--
贝瑟尼，不必，相信我。
Bethany, no, trust me.
我知道如何对付大敌。
I know how to deal with arch enemies.
我正在为黛比准备一些非常特别的东西。
I'm cooking up something extra special for Debbie.
嘿，黛比。
Hey, Debbie.
不错的停车位。
Nice parking spot.
所以，你是贵宾，对吧？
So, you're a VIP, huh?
嗯，是的，我是。
Uh, yes, I am.
因为我有一份非常重要的工作。
Because I have a very important job.
我需要一个非常重要的位置。
And I need a very important spot.
- 你想要什么？- 听，
- What do you want?
- Listen,
我只是想展示
I just wanted to show
我对你的感激，以及你所做的一切。
my appreciation for you, and all you do.
它是arroz con pollo从mi casa到su casa。
It's arroz con pollo from mi casa to su casa.
嗯嗯。那是民族特色菜，还是...
Mmm-hmm. And is that an ethnic dish, or...
当然是“民族的”
It sure is "ethnic."
说到种族主义，
Speaking of racist,
我忍♥不住想
I couldn't help but think
关于双重沉浸课程，
about the dual immersion program,
如果你能运用一下关系，那将是多么神奇。
and how amazing it would be if you could pull some strings.