哈莉·奎茵

呃，什么？你建造了这个美丽的地方。它是你的宝贝。
Uh, what? You built this beautiful place. It's your baby.
我以为你会很兴奋，也许我们可以在这儿消遣一下。
I thought you'd get excited and maybe we'd mess around a little bit.
来吧，让我们在你的宝贝里面做♥爱♥吧！
Come on, let's have sex in your baby!
我... 我把你带到这里是因为我认为它会激励你。
I-- I brought you here because I thought it would inspire you.
哈莉，这不是激励，它是……它是个完全的失败。
Harley, it's not inspiring, it's-- It's a total failure.
我... 我曾有这个愚蠢的想法，用史前植物改造地球。
I... I had this dumb idea to terraform Earth using prehistoric plants.
啊!
Ah!
你知道，然后我用艾薇的“艾”将它称为艾甸。
You know and then I called it Edin with an "I" for Ivy.
那真可爱！
That's so cute!
好吧，名字不太好。但是...但是想法是！
Okay, the name's not great. But the-- But the idea is!
我在这上面工作了太久，然后我只能种出这片烂地……
I worked on it for like way too long, and then I could only grow this one shitty acre--
任何人见过的最美丽的丛林！我的姑娘！
Of the most beautiful jungle anyone's ever seen! My girl!
不，我一次又一次地失败了。
No, I failed over and over again.
我设计的，差不多十年前，颜色太陈旧了。我的天啊！
I designed it, like, ten years ago, the colors are so dated. Oh, my God!
我觉得我就像在 Urban Outfitters 促销区一样。
I feel like I'm in, like, an Urban Outfitters sale section.
嘿。霓虹灯又亮了！有人说它从未消失过。
Hey. Neon is back! Some people say it never went away.
艾薇，你在过去的两年里一直在帮我解决我愚蠢的烂事
Ivy, you spent the last two years helping me with my stupid bullshit
和你的前任一起做辣椒。
and making chili with your ex.
是的。我还死了再复活。
Yeah. I also died and was resurrected.
对，就是这样。你是一个混帐邪恶的恶棍。
Yes, exactly. You are a badass evil villain.
你应该按照你的愿景塑造世界。
You should mold the world to your vision.
是时候专注于你想要的了。
It's time to focus on what you want.
既然我们到了这里，至少值得四处看看，对吧？
Since we're here, it's at least worth looking around, right?
我的意思是，根系看起来确实很强壮。
I mean, the root system does look pretty strong.
我曾经很醉心那个。
I used to be so into that.
好的。好吧。
Okay. Fine.
我们可以四处看看。但我们得快点。
We can look around. But let's make it quick.
- 我的天啊！宝贝！- 什么？什么？
- Oh, my God! Babe!
- What? What?
女王找到我们了吗？我们需要干掉她吗？
Did the queen find us? Do we need to finish her off?
引发国际事件？
Start an international incident?
我刚刚在地下水中协调了正确的 pH 值！
I just negotiated the correct pH in the groundwater!
哦，酷，我很喜欢你受到的激励。
Oh, cool, I'm loving how inspired you are.
顺便问问，以防别人问起，这里的无线网络是什么？
Bee-tee-dubs, in case other people ask me, what's the wi-fi here?
艾甸没有无线网络……这就是重点。
There's no wi-fi in Edin--That's like the whole point.
一个扭转人类对环境造成的所有破坏的天堂。
A paradise that reverses all the damage humans have done to the environment.
在此古老的植物终于可以绽放其全部潜力！
Where ancient plants can finally bloom to their full potential!
彻底地！
Totally!
从有毒工厂收回每一寸土地
Reclaiming every inch from toxic factories,
快餐连锁店、电视明星！
fast food chains. Bravolebrities!
但不算那些自己酿造葡萄酒的人，对吧？
But not the ones that make their own wine, right?
我不能回去根据标签购买♥♥。没得办法。
I cannot go back to buying based on the label. No fucking way.
想象一下，你和我，坐在阳光下，以花蜜为生。
Just imagine, you and me, sitting in the sun, living off the nectars.
我们不必逃避任何人或打碎任何脑袋。
We don't have to run from anybody or bash any heads in.
嗯，是的，是的，这太酷了。
Um, yeah, yeah, that is so cool.
你知道，我不需要敲别人的脑袋，也不需要无线网络。
You know, I don't need to bash people's heads in or have wi-fi.
我可以只是坐在这里。也许我能学会和花说话什么的。
I can just sit here. Maybe I'll learn to talk to flowers or something.
还有这个精神控制装置？谁需要它！
And this mind control device? Who needs it!
哦，看看这土壤！
Oh, look at this soil!
鹿角蕨是自我繁殖的，
The Staghorn fern is self-propagating,
所以如果我能得到正确的酸度......
so if I can get the right acidity levels...
然后，谁知道呢，地球化是可能的！
And then, who knows, Terraforming could be possible!
哦！一个不知名的号♥码，可能是电♥话♥推销员，我还是回答吧！
Ooh! An unknown number, maybe it's a telemarketer, I'd better answer it!
你好，外面的世界！
Hello, outside world!
哦，嘿，姑娘！是鲨鱼王。
Oh, hey, girl! It's King Shark.
噢天哪 老天 砰砰！哥谭发生了什么？告诉我所有的热门话题！
OMG K.S. Bang Bang! What's happening in Gotham? Tell me all the hot goss!
好吧，有趣的是你应该问，
Well, funny you should ask,
我们正在遭受折磨。于是，你的情况如何？
we're being tortured. So, how are things with you?
等等……你们在受折磨？被谁？
Wait-- You're being tortured? By who?
哦，我讨厌做扫兴者，但我和泥脸被监禁了。
Oh, I hate to be a spoilsport but me and Clayface are incarcerated.
戈登在婚礼上抓住了我们。
Gordon nabbed us at the wedding.
他把我们关在阿卡姆。
He's holding us in Arkham.
但如果你们太忙没时间救我们，我们也理解...
But if you're too busy to rescue us, we understand--
不！我们马上就到！
No! We'll be right there!
艾薇！我有一个可怕的消息！
Ivy! I've got some terrible news!
所以，让我们进去出来，没有额外的戏码。
So, let's just in and out, no extra drama.
我的幼苗正处于关键阶段，我想尽快回来。
My seedlings are just in a crucial stage and I want to get back ASAP.
哦，对了，我也不能错过关键的苗期。
Oh, yeah, me, too, can't miss the crucial seedling stage.
你知道，一等我们让戈登为打扰我们的队伍付出代价！
You know, as soon as we make Gordon pay for messing with our crew!
让我们跳过阿卡姆，让这架喷气式飞机直接撞进戈登的房♥子
Let's skip Arkham and crash this jet right into Gordon's house
并屠♥杀♥他的全家！
and slaughter his entire family!
亲爱的，我知道你已经两天没痛揍人了
Honey, I know you haven't punched anyone in the dick in two days,
但我们对此必须冷静。
but we have to be smart about this.
实际上，昨天有一只狐狸试图在我身边拉屎。所以...
Actually, yesterday there was a fox that tried to take a shit too close to me. So...
戈登可能会利用他作为诱饵。
Gordon could be using him as bait.
鲨鱼当诱饵？哈！真是太操蛋了。天哪，你真聪明！
A shark as bait? Ha! That is so fucked up. God, you're smart!
这就是为什么我们会成为一支优秀的团队。
This is why we make a great team.
你以你精明的策略和植物女神的超能力，
You with your brilliantly thought out strategies and plant goddess superpowers,
我和...
and me with...
- 你要填那部分吗？- 什么？
- You gonna fill that part in?
- What?
哦，是的，是的，对不起。我只是...
Oh, yeah, yeah, sorry. I was just...
- 你今天的头发很好看。- 我知道，对吧？
- Your hair looks really good today.
- I know, right?
鲨鱼找到了我们安置的电♥话♥并如我们所料打给了哈莉。
The shark found the phone we planted and called Harley just like we thought he would.
我打倒哈莉和艾薇，就没有人会抱怨路坑，
I bring down Harley and Ivy, no one's gonna be complaining about the potholes,
污水坑，有毒的水坑，爆♥炸♥的下水道，闹鬼的……
the sinkholes, toxic puddles, exploding sewers, haunted...
这是酷刑！放我出去！
This is torture! Let me out of here!
振作起来，伙计！在你反应过来之前，哈莉就会把我们爆出去。
Chin up, buddy! Before you know it, Harley is going to bust us out.
她最好快点。
She better do it soon.
六小时后我要试镜托马斯·韦恩的新传记片！
I have an audition in six hours for the new Thomas Wayne biographical picture!
“一个艰难的韦恩会倒下。”
"A Hard Wayne's Gonna Fall."
另一部关于两足动物亿万富翁的电影。
Another movie about a bipedal billionaire.
并且在那之后进行了多余的重启。
And a trashy reboot at that.
停下来！那个淘气导演詹姆斯·冈恩，
Stop it! That puckish auteur James Gunn,
正在颁奖季的剧中展翅远去！
is spreading his wings into the horizons of award season drama!
如果你赶不上试镜，你何不直接提交一卷录像呢？
If you can't make the audition, why don't you just submit a tape?
我们可以利用那部午餐时可疑地出现
We could just use the phone that suspiciously showed up
我的法式面包披萨里的电♥话♥
in my French bread pizza at lunch.
哦，像这样？
Oh, like now?
你好。泥脸。阿卡姆精神病院。五到七英尺高，
Hello. Clayface. Arkham Asylum. Five to seven feet tall,
或者任何适合“三号♥暴徒”角色的东西。
or whatever suits the role of "Thug Number Three."
愿意刮胡子。任何地方。
Willing to shave. Anywhere.
这会不会还要很久？我得去为我的蜥蜴取药方。
Is this gonna be much longer? I gotta go pick up a prescription for my lizard.
发财啦！
Pay dirt!
不许动！
Freeze!
我对布兰妮和凯莉对戈登的即兴表演技巧感到紧张。
I'm getting nervous about Britney and Kylie's improv skills with Gordon.
她们是训练有素的专业人士。我敢肯定他们至少会再为我们争取五分钟。
They're trained professionals. I'm sure they're gonna buy us at least another five minutes.
不好了！我们做错了吗？
Oh, no! Have we been bad?
哦，我们需要有人来惩罚我们。
Ooh, we need someone to punish us.
不要戈登专员！
Not Commissioner Gordon!
哦，我们是那么尊敬和害怕他。
Ooh, we respect and fear him so much.
这似乎有些不对劲。
Something about this doesn't seem right.
等等，让我们听她们说完。
Hold on, let's hear them out.
什么？成♥人♥电♥影♥女演员凯莉·氪石和布兰妮·仿生？
What the? Adult film actresses Kylie Kryptonite and Britney Bionic?
- 我是一个超级粉丝！- 喜欢你们在“钻孔笑话”中的演出。
- I'm a huge fan!
- Loved you in the "Drilling Joke."
-在我的枪上签名？-我能得到签名吗？是给我老公的。
- Sign my gun?
- Can I get an autograph? It's for my husband.
等待。这是你给我下药并绑♥架♥我以帮助我摆脱虐待关系的地方。
Wait. This is where you drugged and kidnapped me to help me escape an abusive relationship.
哈莉薇！
Harlivy!
鲨鱼脸！
Shark face!
你看起来容光焕发！
You look radiant!
哦谢谢！我们做了很多爱。
Oh, thanks! We've been doing a ton of fucking.
去喷气机！快！
To the jet! Quick!
天哪，我简直不敢相信我刚才这么说，那太蹩脚了。
God, I can't believe I just said that, that was so lame.
我应该再试一次吗？你知道吗，没关系，我们走吧。
Should I try that again? You know what, nevermind, let's just go.
看着点路，凯伦！
Watch where you're going, Karen!
当心点，婊♥子♥！你刚刚惹到毒藤女。
Excuse you, bitch! You just bumped into Poison Ivy.
这个世界上最重要的超级反派之一，
One of the premier supervillains in this world,
正受到她所研究的一些非常酷的东西的激励。
newly inspired for some really cool shit she's working on.
还有我的男朋女友砍击……活着的最性感的女人。
And my BFF GFF slash--Hottest woman alive.
超级反派？哈！多年来，她都没做过什么恶事！