哈莉·奎茵

♪ Every day for the real prize The awards for those They demonize ♪
我们为了金子而来。我已经赢得了自己那份
♪ We're here for gold I've won my share ♪
今晚是我们公平竞争之夜
♪ Tonight's the one night We play it fair ♪
从杀手公♥司♥，到萤火虫
♪ From Killer Croc, To Firefly ♪
把手伸向天空
♪ Throw those hands up In the sky ♪
- 笑起来 - 如小丑所做
-♪ Put on a smile ♪ - ♪ Like Joker do ♪
这已经不止是混乱。
This is beyond messed up.
你知道，我应该恨他们，但该死的，那些女孩们的动作。
You know, I should hate 'em, but dammit the girls got moves.
- 我们扔酸液，耶！ - 如小丑所做
-♪ We're throwin' acid. Yeah! ♪ - ♪ Like Joker do ♪
- 我们醉醺醺 - 如小丑所做
-♪ We're gettin' plastered ♪ - ♪ Like Joker do ♪
格鲁德在此穿着晚礼服
♪ Grodd is here Dressed in a tux ♪
- 还有贝恩也是。太糟了他很烂。 - 什么？
-♪ And so is Bane Too bad he sucks ♪
- What?
哈莉·奎茵和她的新欢，我看见他们旁边坐着……
♪ Harley Quinn With her new flame I sat them next to... ♪
哦，他叫什么？笑一下
♪ Oh, what's his name? Put on a smile ♪
如小丑所做
♪ Like Joker do ♪
我们狂野起来
♪ We're gettin' wild ♪
如小丑所做
♪ Like Joker do ♪
所以，这是一只笨拙的乌龟。
So, this is awkward turtle.
不，为什么，为什么会这样？
No. Why, why would that be?
呃，因为你们约会的时候我们有外遇，然后你为了我把他留在了圣坛上，
Uh, because we had an affair while you were dating, then you left him at the altar for me,
现在我们都坐在颁奖典礼上，你和我将
and now we're all seated at an award show where you and I
争取最佳情侣奖和拉拉拉。
are up for Best Couple and lalala.
对极了
Bingo-bango.
如小丑所做
♪ Like Joker do! ♪
伙计们，我们为你们准备了一场精彩的表演。一些伟大的客人，塞尼斯托，
We've got an incredible show for you, folks. Some great guests, Sinestro,
所罗门·格兰迪，凯文·史派西。敬请关注！
Solomon Grundy, Kevin Spacey. Stay tuned!
也许我们应该离开？我们走吧？
Maybe we should go? Should we go?
不，不，不，没关系。都是过去的事了。
No, no, no it's fine. All in the past.
实际上，我已经完全，彻底地看开了。甚至带来了我的新情人。
Actually, I have completely, totally moved on. Even brought my new boo.
- 你在和贝恩约会？- 什么？
- You're dating Bane?
- What?
我作为填位者得到了一个很好的位置。
I got a pretty good gig as a seat filler.
我女朋友还没来
My girlfriend's not here yet.
她迟到了。但她绝对是真的。
She's running late. But she's definitely real.
我有一个真实的女朋友。
I have a girlfriend who is real.
真的很热辣，很热。
Real hot, muy caliente.
哈，但不，不是，不是说她的外表！
Ha, but no it's not, it's not just about her looks!
那太肤浅了。我的意思是，你们女孩真的会相处好的！
That would be shallow. I mean, you girls would really get along!
是的……
Yeah...
艾芙，也许我们应该多交流一下。
Ive, maybe we should go mingle little.
嗯嗯。你知道吗，你继续。
Mmm-hmm. You know what, you go ahead.
我只是... 我需要透透气。
I just... I think need some air.
哇，你可以用这些之一来缓解紧张。他们买♥♥单。
Whoa, you could cut the tension with one of these. That's on them.
如果他们不想让惹上麻烦，他们所要做的就是把我的意大利面机还给我。
All they have to do is give me back my pasta maker if they don't want things to be weird.
不，不。我们都认为这很酷。
No, no. We all think it's cool.
还没有听谁提过，说你弥补了一些东西。
Haven't heard a single person suggest you're compensating for something.
谜语人！公鸡王！
Riddler! Cock King!
哈！这是时钟王，亲爱的。公鸡王是另一个人。
Ha! It's Clock King, honey. Cock King's the other guy.
哈，期待看到所有六双手一起鼓掌
Ha, lookin' forward to seein' all six of those hands clapping
当我和艾薇一起在舞台上发表重大演讲的时候。
while I'm up on stage with Ivy giving the big speech.
哦，哈莉，你看到我们的新小狗莫里斯了吗？
Oh, Harley, have you seen our new puppy, Maurice?
是的，是的，给她看。
Yes, yes, show her.
噢。好可爱！另一个人是谁？
Aww. So cute! Who's the other guy?
猜猜这个，谁是没有国家的海外总统？
Riddle me this, who's the overseas President without a country?
谁穿着黑白衣服工作，但产出黄金？
Who works in black and white, but gives out the gold?
为什么是哥谭外国出版社的负责人。
Why it's the head of the Gotham Foreign Press.
而我们送给他莫里斯的双胞胎妹妹。
And we gifted him Maurice's twin sister.
你知道，给车轮上油。
You know, to grease the wheels.
- 润滑车轮？- 哦，哈莉。
- Grease the wheels?
- Oh, Harley.
你们所有人都必须知道，这些奖项主要是政♥治♥性的。
You of all people must know that these awards are mostly political.
小丑花了半年时间为你们两个竞选。
Joker spent half the year campaigning for you two.
必须尽你所能获得先手。
Gotta do whatever you can to get the upper hand.
哪怕是有点卑鄙，对吧？
Even if it's a little underhanded, right?
啊，是的，完全明白，每个人都懂。我的意思是，这是非常普遍的知识。嗯嗯。
Ugh, yeah, totally, everyone knows that. I mean, it's very common knowledge. Mm-hmm.
嘿。你是颁奖典礼的会计，对吧？
Hey. You're the award show accountant, huh?
酷，酷。还有那个公文包？
Cool, cool. And that briefcase right there?
它里面装着赢家，是吧？
It's got the winners in it, huh?
也许你可以让我偷看一眼里面，
Maybe you could let me take a lil peek inside it,
你知道，确保我赢得了最佳情侣。
you know, make sure I won Best Couple.
瞧，书呆子。你要把那个公文包交给我，把信封给我。
Look, nerd. You're gonna hand over that briefcase and give me the envelope.
我会看看它，也许会划掉一些东西，
I will look at it, maybe cross somethin' out,
但希望不是。然后你把它拿回去，
but hopefully not. Then you take it back,
假装这从未发生过。否则，我会踢你数学爱好者的屁♥股♥。
pretend this never happened. Otherwise, I'm gonna kick your math-lovin' ass.
呃，等等，机器人会撒尿吗？
Uh, wait, do androids piss?
- 需要充电器吗？- 谢谢。
- Need a charger?
- Thanks.
没什么。没有它，我永远不会离开家。
It's nothin'. I never leave home without it.
这让我想，也许我沉迷于屏幕？
Which makes me think, maybe I'm addicted to screens?
我的意思是，谁不是，对吧？
I mean, who isn't, right?
男人……
Man...
- 这个晚上糟透了。- 哦，为什么那么说？
- this night sucks.
- Oh, why's that?
呃，这只是我的女朋友痴迷于获得这个奖项。
Ugh, it's just my girlfriend's obsessed with winning this award.
这整件事只是，
This whole thing is just,
这不是我适合的场所。
it's not my scene.
我想在家里过夜，执行我的恶魔计划。
I wanted to spend the night at home, working on my diabolical plan.
星期天还做恶魔工作？这可是主的日子。
Diabolical work on a Sunday? It's the Lord's Day.
开个玩笑。我知道星期六是安息日。
Joke. I know the sabbath's on Saturday.
如果你认识我，这就不好玩了
This would be killing if you knew me
因为我不是信徒。
because I am not religious.
不，这是个好笑话。
No, it was a good joke.
你知道，更糟糕的是，那些混♥蛋♥安排我坐在我前未婚夫的旁边。
You know, to make matters worse, those assholes assigned me to sit next to my ex-fiancé.
我听说了。我甚至没法把自己弄进去。
I hear that. I couldn't even get myself to go in.
我应该和我的新男友在那里，
I'm supposed to be in there with my new boyfriend,
但我实在太紧张了。
but I am way too nervous.
- 为什么？- 那些混♥蛋♥安排我们坐在他的前未婚妻旁边。
- Why's that?
- Those assholes assigned us to sit next to his ex-fiancé.
你是风筝人的女朋友。
You are Kite Man's girlfriend.
最具创意的羽毛奖授予公鸡王！
And the award for the Most Creative Nom de Plume goes to Cock King!
哦！他是一只鸡。挺有创意的。
Oh! He's a chicken. That is creative.
缪斯女神来了。
The muse has arrived.
詹姆士！我带来了面包。以为我们会吃它。
James! I brought bread. Thought we'd break it.
你的头发通常不是更篷松的吗？
Isn't your hair usually spikier?
如果我从七年的表演中学到了什么
If I learned anything from my seven years acting
在艾米·谢尔曼-帕拉迪诺的剧情片《吉尔摩女孩》中饰演古怪的小镇居民——
on the Amy Sherman-Palladino dramedy Gilmore Girls as the quirky town resident--
我得在这里打断你。詹姆斯冈恩没出演。
I'm gonna stop you there. James Gunn doesn't act.
每个人都知道他的兄弟肖恩在《吉尔摩女孩》中扮演柯克！
Everybody knows his brother Sean played Kirk on Gilmore Girls!
你点击了错误的维♥基♥百♥科♥，不是吗？你不是詹姆斯冈恩。
You clicked the wrong Wikipedia, didn't ya? You're not James Gunn.
-你是个怪物！-不不不。我……我是椅子！记得吗？
- You're a monster!
- No, no, no. I... I'm the chair! Remember?
你可以把自己变成任何东西，但你用你的天赋当椅子？
You can turn yourself into anything, but you use your talent to become chairs?
好吧，我要求不高。
Well, I'm not strictly.
起初我想，也许你是个跟踪狂。
At first I thought, maybe you're a stalker.
但我可以看到，在那些可怕的粘土眼睛后面，你只是一个饥饿的演员。
But I can see behind those horrific clay eyes, you're just a hungry actor.
哦，我是多么饥渴！
Oh, how I starve!
你知道，我一直在想，也许是我收徒的时候了。
You know, I've been thinking, maybe it's time for me to take on a protege.
而椅子伙计，我想可能就是你了。
And Chair Guy, I think you may be it.
好啊！
Huzzah!
我得去小个便，但当我回来的时候
I gotta go take a piss, but when I get back
你的生活将永远改变，孩子。
your life is gonna be changed forever, son.
- 卫生间在哪里？- 左边的第一扇门。
- Where's the shitter?
- First door on the left.
还是右边的第一扇门？
Or was it the first door on the right?
天哪，那是只老虎吗？
Holy shit, is that a tiger?
- 你好？- 鲨鱼？或许你有空？
- Hello?
- Shark? Perchance you're free?
好感动。逝去了，但没被忘记。
So moving. Gone, but not forgotten.
接下来是一个特别奖，只授予真正相称的人。
Next is a special award given only to the truly deserving.
真正发挥作用的坏人。
The baddies who make a real difference.
今年乔·齐尔荣誉奖的获得者是……猫女！
This year's recipient of the Joe Chill Honorary Award is... Catwoman!
让我们忘记我甚至不是真正的恶棍的事实，
Let's forget the fact that I'm not even really a villain,
我是一个反英雄。
I'm an anti-hero.
你们给我这个奖的唯一原因是因为我是黑人。
The only reason you gave me this award is cause I'm Black.