爱情零距离（2013）

Look,
公♥司♥马上就要迎来大事
big things are happening at this firm.
现在不适合把你的生活变得复杂
Now's not the time for you to complicate your life.
这是kismet[命运]
It's... It's kismet.
-命中注定吗 -不 这是缩写
- As in fate? - No. It's an acronym.
意思是"简化生活 莫耶
It stands for, "Keep it simple, Moyer,
尤其是今天"
especially today."
你是临时想的吗
Did you just think of that?
我是脱口而出 这是注定
It came to me as I said it. It was kismet.
先生 我有忽略过你的恋爱建议吗
Sir, have I ever ignored your relationship advice?
只在关键时刻
Only at every single turn.
那你也不会意外
Then you will not be surprised
无论如何 我今天都要告诉她
that no matter what, I'm gonna tell her today.
别像shmuck[傻瓜]一样 这意思是
Well, don't be a shmuck. That stands for,
"幸福会把事业搞砸...
"Sometimes happiness messes up career...
凯文"
Kevin"?
汽船出得挺快
意思是"这船开的非常快"
That means, "This boat goes very fast."
好吧 我是要见一个技术大亨
Okay, uh, I'm meeting with a tech billionaire,
到目前为止 你教我的句子
And so far all the phrases you've taught me
都跟"船"有关
have the word "Boat" in it.
因为我是在亚洲游玩做船舶
That's 'cause I learned mandarin over a year
宣传模特的那一年学的中文
touring Asia as a boat show model.
她拍了中国游艇日历
She was in a Chinese boat calendar,
但她死活不肯带来
but will she bring it in? No.
我说了 当时我是半裸的
I told you, I was topless.
我也一直跟你说 我不介意
And I keep telling you, I'm cool with that!
我要学商业用语
I need some business phrases, okay?
好吧 好吧
Okay, okay.
不 先生 我不跟船的
意思是 "不 先生 我不跟船的"
That means, "No, sir, I do not come with the boat."
太感谢你了
Thank you so much.
你真是帮了大忙
This has been super helpful.
记住 万一都不好使
Hey, remember, when all else fails...
记住划船
stroke the boat.
等我被解雇了 我就有大把时间
Yeah, when I'm fired, I'll have plenty of time
来划船了
to stroke the boat.
詹妮 你昨晚又出现在我梦里了
Jenny, you were in my dream again last night.
-很恶心吗 -非常恶心 布洛迪亲了你
- Was it gross? - Yeah. It was disgusting. Brody kissed you.
这可不恶心
Well, that doesn't sound very gross.
恶心 我示范给你看
Well, it was. I'll show you.
你当布洛迪 我当你
You be Brody, I'll be you.
不 你做布洛迪 我做我
No. You be Brody, I'll be me.
等等 不要 我可不想
Wait, no. No, I don't want to...
詹妮 听我说 我...
Look, Jenny, listen to me. I...
我觉得你不该和布洛迪一起去巴黎
I don't think you should go to Paris with Brody.
那不是一个适合情侣的地方
It is--it's not a place for couples. It's...
巴黎是个单身汉的城市
Paris is the city of loners.
不 巴黎是情侣之城
No. Paris is the city of lovers.
那也不缺你们这一对
Well, then they have enough.
我一直在考虑这个问题
Look, you know, I mean, I've been thinking about it,
一直犹豫不决
and I keep going back and forth, you know?
一方面 布洛迪很贴心
On the one hand, Brody's so sweet,
而且他会说法语 好浪漫
and he speaks French, and it would be so romantic.
说另一方面 另一方面是什么
Get to the other hand. What is on that other hand?
另一方面 我们才约会
Well, on the other hand, we've been dating for, what,
三个月左右
like three months?
确切说来是109天
109 days exactly.
对 相处得非常愉快
Yeah, and it's going really great, you know.
我不想太急切
I don't want to push the relationship.
已经发展得够快了
We're already moving so fast.
太快 非常快 没错
So fast. Fast, yes.
没错 就像高速列车一样
Yeah--yes. Like a speeding train.
就和我梦到的一样 看这个
Yes, just like in my dream. Look at this.
搂着你的这家伙是谁
Who's this guy spooning you?
这是隐私 好吗
Okay, that's private, all right?
告诉他雷明顿信托投资公♥司♥
Tell him Remington Trust
比其他任何公♥司♥对市场波动的
has withstood the market's volatility
应对能力都要强
better than any other company in the country.
在有浪的水里 这艘船很稳
他说哦
He said, "Oh."
我听到了
Yes, I got that.
告诉他因为我们是一个精英公♥司♥
Tell him that because we are a boutique firm,
我们可以对市场变化作出迅速反应
we can react quickly to market changes. Yeah.
我们小船的速度非常快
我们多久能一起做生意呢
回答他的问题 温先生
Answer his question, Mr. Wen.
不 先生 我不跟船的
我们今天开始 我让你发财
-没错 -没错
-刚发生什么事了 -成交了
- Wh-what just happened? - We just closed the deal.
哈哈 成交了
Ha ha, we closed the deal!
你会说普通话 我被炒了
You speak Mandarin. I'm fired!
我会说一点普通话 但你很会说
I speak a little mandarin, but you are fluent
瞎编的国际语
in the international language of bullshit!
-太厉害了 -真的吗
- It's impressive. - Really?
绝对的 你完全不懂中文
Absolutely. I just watched you
只是稍懂船只的知识 而我看着你
tread water for 23 minutes with no knowledge of Chinese
瞎扯了23分钟
and only a basic understanding of boats.
我打算在香港设立办事处
Now... I'm about to open up an office in Hong Kong,
你要走狗屎运了
and good things are about to happen to you.
走大运 你没对
Very good things. Now you didn't lie about
简历上的其他信息撒谎吧
anything else on your resume? Did you?
没有 先生 其余一切都是真实的
Oh, no sir. Everything else is completely true.
太好了 因为我很期待
Good, 'cause I'm really looking forward
看你的杂耍技巧
to seeing those juggling skills.
太棒了 你一个人
Oh. Yes! You're alone.
我有事情要告诉你
Okay, I have something to tell you,
但我希望在一个
But I was hoping to do it
垃圾桶比较少的地方说
in a place that had fewer dumpsters.
我得一个人去巴黎
I have to go to Paris alone.
什么
What?
很抱歉 亲爱的 只是
I'm so sorry, babe. I just--
我已经在脑海里幻想这场旅行
I've been picturing this trip in my head
很长时间了 只有我
for so long, and it's just been me
和我的背包 还有一袋点心
and my backpack and a bag of pastries.
不知道为什么 不管我去哪里
And for some reason, a little black dog
一只小黑狗都跟着我
that follows me around everywhere I go.
-请别因此恨我 -我爱你
- Please don't hate me because I want-- - I love you.
什么
What?
自从我们在一起的第一晚我就想说了
I've wanted to say it since the first night we hooked up,
但我不想吓跑你
but, uh, I didn't want to scare you off.
而且我也不确定你的名字 但是
Plus I wasn't sure of your name, but...
从那以后我每天都想说出口
and I-I've wanted to say it every day since.
詹妮 我从没遇见过你这样的人
Jenny, I've never met anyone like you.
你很疯狂 很幽默
You're crazy and you're funny
貌美如花 而且是真实的
and you're really gorgeous, and you're real.
你让我成为了最好的自己
And you bring out the best version of me.
如果你想一个人去巴黎 那完全没问题
And if you want to go to Paris alone, that's totally fine.
我只是 必须得先告诉你
I just... couldn't let you go without saying
詹妮 我爱你
that, Jenny, I love you.
天啊
Oh, my god.
我也爱你
I love you, too.
我真的很爱你
I really love you.
和我一起去巴黎吧
Please come to Paris with me.
当然可以
Of course I will.
我刚度过了这辈子最美妙的一晚
I just had the best night of my life.
真的吗 因为如果你度过了这辈子最美妙的一晚
Really? Because if you had the best night of your life,
那你就是我了 因为詹妮告诉我她爱我
you'd be me, because Jenny told me she loved me.
真为你感到高兴
Oh, I'm so happy for you, man.
我的夜晚把你的秒成了渣渣
My night crushed yours.
因为曼斯菲尔德和我出去狂欢
Because Mansfield and I went out partying,
一切都十分顺利
and everything was coming up threepeat.
关键是 我大闹公♥寓♥
But the point is, I trashed my place,
告诉我房♥东去死吧