爱情零距离（2013）

打了好多电♥话♥ 都直接转入语♥音♥信箱了
a bunch of times and it went straight to voicemail.
还以为你手♥机♥坏了呢
I think your phone's broken.
这事怪就怪在
Hmm, yeah, it's doing this really weird thing
我看到来电是你 就按了"忽略"
where when I see it's you calling, I hit "Ignore."
你在生我的气
Okay, so you're mad at me?
生气 生你的气 我为什么要生你的气
Mad? Mad... at you? Why would I be mad at you?
因为你整晚都只顾着和前女友
Because you spent all last night singing duets
表演二重唱吗
with your ex-girlfriend?
话说回来 她可真粘人
She's pitchy, by the way.
什么 她不是
What? No, she's not.
对 她不是
No! No, she's not!
等等 我就不明白了
Hold on. I don't understand.
你不是说我跟她合唱你不介意的嘛
You said it was okay if I sang with her.
是 可我没想到
Well, yeah, but I didn't realize
你们竟然开起了演唱会
you were gonna put on a concert.
连着三首歌♥ 拜托
Three songs? Come on!
实际上我们唱了四首
Actually, we sang four songs.
四首 你可从没跟我一下子唱过四首歌♥
Four? You-- you've never sang four songs with me.
我们一般都是两首 然后唱到一半你就累了
We usually do two, and then you get tired halfway through
我就只能一个人唱完
and I have to finish by myself.
我那会醉了 一切发生得太快
Look, I was drunk. It happened so fast.
-可我整晚想的都是你 -算了吧
- I was thinking of you the whole time! - Oh, please!
是你请的希瑟
Hey! You're the one who invited Heather.
没错 因为我想让她看看
Yeah, I did, because I wanted to show her
我们俩有多般配 结果呢
how good we were together, and instead,
反倒是她让我发现你们两个有多般配了
she showed me how good you guys are together.
不止是般配 你们两个是绝配
I mean, better than good. You're perfect together.
在场所有人都看出来了
Everyone in the whole place saw it.
你们当初又何必分手呢
Why did you guys even break up in the first place?
显然当初我们不会有好结果
Well, it was obvious it wasn't gonna work out.
为什么
Why not?
因为毕业之后 我们各自搬到了
You know, because we both moved to different cities
不同的城市
after we graduated.
这真是...
Wow, there's just...
没法克服的难题
no way to overcome that one.
等等 怎么会没有呢
Oh, wait a minute, there is one way--
她都搬过来了
like if she moved here!
还有呢 不止这个
Okay, you know what? It wasn't just that.
她太好强了
She was so competitive.
我们俩经常为衣橱的空间争吵
She and I were always fighting over closet space.
你们还同居过
You lived together?
抱歉 刚说什么来着
I'm sorry, what... was that?
布洛迪 布洛迪 布洛迪
Brody, Brody, Brody.
看着我的眼睛
Just look me in the eye right now
告诉我她不是你心目中的
and tell me that she is not exactly the kind of woman
理想型女生
that you always envisioned yourself with.
你们真是天生一对
Ugh... you're perfect together.
你们有那么多共同点
You guys have everything in common.
你们的理想 工作制♥服♥
You know, your ambition and your business suits,
还有你们珍贵的哈佛回忆
and let's not forget your precious Harvard!
-什么 -说的不是你
- What? - Not you!
这些简历很不错啊
Well, these are some pretty impressive resume.
应该如此 毕竟是全国
Well, they should be. They're 40 of the best
最好的四十个女性资本经营者
female money managers in the country.
看着吧 这个地方只有雄性动物
Look at it, the days of this place
出没的日子就要终结了
being a men's locker room are over.
所以交易成功后不会再拍屁♥股♥以示兴奋了
So no more post-deal ass slapping?
没有了 真可惜
Regretfully, no.
我不能在工作的地方拍了男人的屁♥股♥
I-I can't slap a man's ass in the workplace
再拍女人的
and not also slap a woman's ass,
我不能拍女人的屁♥股♥ 所以...
And I can't slap a woman's ass, so I...
就不能拍任何人的屁♥股♥
I can't slap any ass!
不得不说
Look, I gotta confess to you,
这种经历让我很放松
this whole experience has been quite freeing for me.
我成功挖掘了自己柔情的一面
You see, I've managed to tap into my feminine side.
所以跟我说说 你这里怎么想的
So tell me, how are things with you in here?
实际上 詹妮
Well, actually, Jenny's...
觉得希瑟是个威胁
Feeling threatened by Heather?
对 你怎么知道
Yeah. How did you know that?
直觉
Intuition.
詹妮当然觉得希瑟是个威胁了
Of course Jenny is feeling threatened by Heather.
你和希瑟是...
You and Heather are...
你们两个是天生一对
Well, you're the perfect merger.
你们是校友
You went to the same school together,
有共同话题
You speak the same language--
你们会生出那种我会毫不犹豫雇用的
Hell, you'd spawn a race of super-children
超优质小孩
I'd hire in a minute.
理论上 你们是绝配
On paper, you two are an ideal match.
我们两个在班上确实一直都是前两名
Well, we did finish one and two in our class.
我就不说谁排第一了 其实...
I won't say who was number one, but, you know...
是我
I was.
如果你们两个这么合适 为什么要分手
Well, if you were so perfect together, why'd you break up?
我们搬去了不同的地方
Well, we moved to different cities.
-错 -看来
- Wrong! - Okay, I can see
你又回到大老爷们的一面了
you're back in touch with your masculine side.
你和她分手 是因为你根本不爱她
You broke up with her because you weren't in love with her.
这是我老婆的照片
This, uh... this is a picture of my wife.
你可以长久凝视这张照片
You can look at it long enough
看看她是多么美丽
to see how beautiful she is,
但不要久到尴尬的地步了
but not so long that it gets awkward.
这样你就该明白了
And that should do the trick.
让我问你 你
Let me ask you, do you--
你觉得我俩的关系会因为我们开始恋爱时
do you think our relationship was made any easier
都是有权有势的投资银行家
by the fact that we were both
这一事实而变得更容易吗
powerful investment bankers when we got started?
会的
Yes.
我们开始恋爱时 她甚至都没有
She didn't even have a bank account
银行账户
when we got started.
我们毫无共同之处
We had nothing in common.
她是个画家 而我
She was a painter, and I was...
我出色极了
Well, I was impressive.
看到这幅画了吗
See this painting?
这是她的画作之一
This painting is-- is one of hers.
灰色上的一坨黄
The yellow splotch on gray.
是的 她给它取名为《灰色上的一坨黄》
Yes. She calls it "Yellow splotch on gray."
好吧
Right.
你知道这幅画是什么意思嘛
You know what this painting means?
我想灰色可能代表绝望
Uh, well, I'm guessing the gray could represent hopelessness,
这一坨黄可能是一个蛋
and I'm thinking the yellow splotch can be an egg.
不对
No.
意思是我爱我老婆
It means I love my wife.
每次我看到这幅画时
And every time I look at this painting,
我都想起来我有多爱她
I'm reminded of just how much I do love her.
你要明白 理论上 我们毫无共同之处
You understand, on paper, we had nothing in common.
但天知道 你不会因为理论而爱上别人对吧
But god knows, you don't fall in love on paper, do you, son?
我得走了
Uh, I gotta go.
天啊
Holy smokes.
我觉得那真是颗蛋
I think that is an egg.
这里关门了
Uh, we are closed.
我只是想和詹妮谈谈
Yeah, I just-- I wanna talk to Jenny.
我不想和你谈
Well, I don't want to talk to you.
滚开 贱男
Step off, bitch.
听着 我搞砸了 真的很抱歉
Listen, I screwed up, and I'm really sorry.
但你是世界上唯一一个
But you are the only person in the world
我想合唱的人
that I want to sing with.
布洛迪 别这样
Oh, Brody, don't.
是啊 唱K结束了 你俩也玩完了
Yeah. Karaoke is over, as are you two,
我们走吧 各位
So let's get out of here, guys.
*一开始*
*Right from the start*
*你是个小偷 偷走了我的心*
*You were a thief, you stole my heart*