爱情零距离（2013）

My old one died on me.
好的 好的 别急
Okay. Okay, slow down.
我们这里有程序的 好吗
We have a process here, okay?
我只需要比对新序列码
Now I just need to match the new serial numbers
和你们的工号♥
with your employee I.D.s.
然后填写请购单43A
Then I'm gonna fill out requisition form 43A,
最后输入供应商的
and then enter the corresponding activation codes
通讯激活码
from the service provider.
那么 你们有谁知道
Now... who here knows how to do
我刚说的那些程序怎么做
any of those things I just said?
把该死的手♥机♥给我们吧
Just give us our damn phones!
是啊老兄 我太需要那个手♥机♥了
Yeah, man. I need that phone bad.
它的像素超过了人眼的辨识能力
It's got more pixels than the human eye can see.
好的 退后 退后
Whoa! Okay--okay, back up, back up!
-我会用这个的 兄弟 -别这样 老兄
- I'll use this, man. - Come on, man.
想想你在做什么
Think about what you're doing.
你让你的人退下
You just tell your people to stand down.
-这我做不了主 -让你的人退下
- I can't give that order. - You tell your people to stand down!
这我做不了主
I can't give that order!
我们抢过来
Let's just take 'em!
不不不
No, no, no, no, no! No!
现在谁也拿不到手♥机♥了
Now nobody gets a phone!
对 没错
Yeah! That's right!
你们想跟我斗 门儿也没有
You don't bring a knife to a gunfight, people.
门儿也...不能从内部关上
And you "Don't close the door from the inside."
我妈说得对
My mom was right.
我会孤独地死在笼子里
I'm gonna die alone in a cage.
汤姆齐斯先生 接下来一个小时里
Mr. Tomkins, over the next hour,
我会用我的详尽调研说明
I will use my exhaustive research to show you
您为什么要在雷明顿信托投资公♥司♥投资
why you should invest your money in Remington Trust.
-好的 第一张图 -我能提个意见吗
- Okay, first slide-- - Can I say something?
当然了 请说
Sure. Go ahead.
你的演示只有一堆图表和预测吗
Is this just gonna be a bunch of graphs and projections?
因为我已经全部调研过了
'Cause I've already done all that research.
好的 很好 那我就往前跳点
Okay, great. Yeah. I'll just skip ahead a bit.
我跳...我跳...我跳
Uh, skip... skip... skip... skip...
好了 从这里开始
Okay, great. Here we go.
我不想听你们公♥司♥
I don't to see how your company
和竞争对手的对比
stacks up against the competition.
呃 那我讲完了
Uh... uh, the end.
曼斯菲尔德在哪儿
Where's Mansfield?
先生 他暂时没空 但请放心
Uh, sir, he's unavailable, but rest assured
他非常信任我
he has complete confidence in me--
您也应该信任我 因为我们是个很优秀的公♥司♥
As will you, because we are a great company.
优秀的公♥司♥有很多
There's lots of great companies.
但我的身家上十亿美元
But I'm worth a billion dollars.
我就好比舞会上的辣妹
So that makes me the hot girl at the dance.
相信我 孩子
Trust me, son--
姐不愁找不到男人
I ain't gonna have no trouble getting laid.
我们雷明顿信托投资公♥司♥
Well, we here at Remington Trust
想成为带您上豪华轿车后座的那个男人
want to be the guy who gets you in the back of the limo,
之后的画面我就不脑补了
and I'm not gonna finish that thought.
我想让不那么像银行家的人来帮我理财
I want to do my banking with people who don't... feel like bankers.
我第一次见到曼斯菲尔德的时候
First time I met Mansfield,
他对着鲨鱼的脸就是一拳
he punched a shark right in the face.
你们去捕鲨鱼了吗
You guys went shark fishing?
没有 我们那是在水族馆
No, we were at the aquarium.
听起来有点意思
That actually sounds kinda fun.
我找的就是这感觉
That's what I'm looking for, right there.
谁都能给我展现数字
Hell, anybody can show me numbers.
有能耐给我展现点乐趣啊
Show me fun.
我去找她
I'll go get her.
四十点五摄氏度
Whoa! 105?
我从没见过这么高的体温
That's the highest temperature I've ever seen.
谢谢
Thank you.
这不是夸奖
That's not a compliment!
先生 你得去看医生
Sir, we gotta get you to a doctor.
为什么 让那些穿着消毒外罩
Why? So I can be told I'm sick
自以为什么都知道的混♥蛋♥们告诉我我病了吗
by some macho know-it-all jackass in scrubs?
我才不是那样的人
That's not me!
曼斯菲尔德先生 感觉怎样
Hey, Mr. Mansfield, how we feeling?
好极了 莫耶先生
Oh, great, Mr. Moyer--
吞下去 吞下去
Swallow. Swallow.
葡萄味的 真恶心
Oh, grape! Gross!
-詹妮 能出来下吗 -当然
- Uh, Jenny, can I borrow you for a second? - Yes, sure.
会面进行的怎样
How's the meeting going?
好极了 还好 不算坏
Great. Good. Not bad.
不好 差极了
Bad. The worst.
-我需要你的帮助 -我能做点什么
- I need your help. - Wh-what can I do?
我需要找乐趣
Well, I need fun,
而你是我认识的最有趣的的人
and you are the funnest person I know.
-天啊 他不喜欢你的展示 -是的
- Oh, baby. He didn't like the presentation? - No.
加油 加油
Come on. Come on.
给我过来 加油啊
Come to papa! Come on!
加油
Come on!
该死
Damn it!
你在干什么
What are you doing?
在慢慢饿死
Starving to death.
我把果酱馅饼拿给你
Okay, how about I give you the pop-tart,
放你出笼子
I let you out of the cage,
然后你给我一部新手♥机♥怎么样
and you hook me up with a new phone?
这对我有什么好处
What's in it for me?
你得到果酱馅饼并且从笼子里出来
A pop-tart and getting out of a cage.
-好的 成交 -好
- Okay, yeah, deal. Good. - Okay?
好好好
Yeah, yeah. Good, good, good. Good, good, good, good.
-快快快 -好的
- Come on! Come on! Come on! - Okay.
-快点 -好的
- Come on! - Okay.
也就十五分钟 伙计
It's been like 15 minutes, man.
在洞里十五分钟感觉就像是二十分钟
15 feels like 20 when you're in the hole.
好吧 你出来了 把手♥机♥给我
Okay, you're out of the cage. Give me the phone.
好吧 我撒谎了
All right, look, I lied.
我都不知道该怎么处理这些手♥机♥
I don't even know how to do the phones.
我只是...我以为我可以自己完成这工作
I just... I thought I could do this job alone,
但很显然完全不可能
and obviously it's impossible!
好吧 我来帮你 好吗
Okay, so... I help you out, all right?
我每半年换部手♥机♥
I-I change my phones every six months.
如果你愿意 我可以和你携手
If you want, I can, like, hold your hand
渡过难关
right through this stuff. Hmm?
听着 哈佛生 我们很抱歉...
Hey, look, Harvard, man, we are so sorry--
我就说吧
Told ya.
你们说的对
You guys were right.
我一直需要你们 我都不...
I needed you all along. I don't even--
我都不知道该怎么注册电♥话♥
I don't even know how to register the phones.
好吧 说实话
All right, if I'm being honest,
我也不知道 伙计
I don't know how to do that either, man.
很简单 他会跟你携手渡过难关
It's easy. He'll hold your hand right through it.
-谢谢 伙计 -拜托
- Thanks, man. - Come on.
我只是想要一部新手♥机♥
I just want a new phone.
登上雷明顿号♥
You're going to have
你会享受到无数乐趣
an awful lot of fun aboard the S.S. "Remington."
继续
Go long!
但我们想让所有人
But we want to make sure all the members of the crew
都舒适自在
feel comfortable.
你好 市场部的比尔吗
Hi! Bill from marketing?
我是财会部的萨莉
I'm Sally from accounting.
-我是新来的 -很高兴见到你 萨莉
- I'm new here. - Nice to meet you, Sally.
咪♥咪♥不错啊
Good boobs!
比尔哪里做得不对
Now where did Bill go wrong?
对的 他不该说
That's right. He should have stopped
"咪♥咪♥不错啊"
before saying, "Good boobs."
但是有时候性骚扰还能更微妙一点