爱情零距离（2013）

我真不想结束这段旅行
Ugh. Oh, I do not want this vacation to end.
向我保证我们回家后
Promise me when we get home,
只跟对方说法语
we'll only speak French to each other.
我们简直就像在
Oh, ce sera comme nous sommes
自己的私人岛屿天堂上
sur notre propre île privée au paradis.
我希望的是用法语的腔调说英语
I was kind of hoping for English with a fake French accent.
当然啦
But of course.
我玩得好开心
I had such a good time.
你真的好性感
And you are really sexy.
你在蒙娜丽莎里加入了"呻♥吟♥"
You put the "Moan" in Mona Lisa.
-我吗 -是啊
- Me? - Mm-hmm.
你为凯♥旋♥门加入了"凯♥旋♥"
You put the "Oomph" in Arc de Triomphe.
在卢浮宫 你把手伸进了我裤子里
You put your hands in my pants at the Louvre.
我知道我们现在不是在说这个
I know that that's not what we're doing right now,
但这挺好玩的
but it was fun.
都挺好玩的
It was all fun.
是啊
Yeah, it was.
你知道最棒的部分是什么吗
And you know what the best part was?
什么
What?
没有曼斯菲尔德
No Mansfield.
我是说 为了跟我去巴黎 你放弃了在香港
I mean, you blew off opening a new office in Hong Kong
开新办事处的机会
to go to Paris with me,
你老板甚至都没有打电♥话♥或者发邮件短♥信♥
and your boss didn't even call or e-mail or text.
他炒了我
He fired me.
就在我跟你上飞机之前
Right before I got on the plane with you,
曼斯菲尔德打来了电♥话♥ 跟我说我被炒了
Mansfield called, and he told me that I was fired,
我没告诉你 因为我知道你会不高兴
and I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be upset.
我真是搞错了
Misread that one.
为了跟你女朋友度假
You blew off a great job
你放弃了一份超棒的工作吗
to go on vacation with your girlfriend?
太愚蠢了
It's so stupid!
老兄 别听她的
Hey, man, don't listen to her.
任何身处你这种情况的人都会做同样的事
Anybody in your shoes would have done the exact same --
抱歉 我说不下去了
I'm sorry. I can't get through it!
三连冠 你在这里干什么
Uh, Threepeat, what are you doing here?
抱歉 我是个商务旅行者
Excuse me. I'm a business traveler.
我无意间偷听到了
I couldn't help but overhear
你好像是个彻头彻尾的傻♥逼♥
that you seem to be a complete dumbass.
等等 德里克 你...
Wait. Derrick. What are you...
这是一场梦
It's a dream.
这只是一场梦
Ah, it's only a dream.
女士们 先生们
Mesdames et messieurs,
请抽空找到紧急出口的位置
please take a moment to locate the emergency exits.
它们位于这里 这里 还有这里
They are located here and here and here
就在3E这个傻♥逼♥的旁边
by this douche in 3-E.
这是场噩梦 只是场噩梦
It's a nightmare. It's only a nightmare.
我是你们的机长
I'm your pilot...
曼斯菲尔德上尉
...Captain Mansfield.
你
And, you --
赶紧抓紧了
Go ahead and hang onto your nuts.
这一路会很难熬
It's gonna be a really rough ride.
我的托盘桌板处于垂直锁定状态
My tray table is in the upright and locked position.
别碰我女朋友
Get off my girlfriend!
我真不想结束这段旅行
Ugh. I do not want this vacation to end.
向我保证我们回家后
Promise me when we get home,
只跟对方说法语
we'll only speak French to each other.
好
Oui.
爱情零距离 第二季第一集
早上好
Bonjour!
我回来了 给大家准备了礼物
I'm back, and I've got presents for everybody!
大家人呢
Where is everybody?
谢天谢地你回来了
Thank god you are back!
你去哪儿了 妹子
Where the hell you been, girl?
这里简直是... 用法语的说法
Things around here have been, as the French would say,
太特么疯狂了
bat-shit crazy!
为什么疯狂
Why would they be crazy?
你好啊 詹妮
Hello, Jenny.
如果你想要欢迎回来之吻
If you want a welcome-back kiss,
你得求我
you are gonna have to beg for it.
大伙儿人呢
Where is everyone?
当你跟我的宿敌去巴黎时
When you were in Paris with my nemesis,
我经历了悲伤的五个阶段
I went through the five stages of grief --
否认 生气 愤怒 更加生气
Denial, anger, rage, more anger.
但是好消息是 我挺过来了
But the good news is I was able to work through it.
通过炒了大伙儿
By firing everybody's ass.
知道吗 我没有炒了大伙儿
Okay, you know what? I didn't fire everybody.
很多人都自己辞职了 因为怕被炒掉
A lot of those people quit to avoid being fired.
天啊
Oh, my gosh.
你说过你有能力掌权
You said that you could handle being in charge.
你也信了我
And you believed me.
我们都犯了错误
We both made mistakes.
现在大家都走了
And now everybody's gone!
甚至是托丽
Even Tori!
她是黑暗中生长的一朵稀有花朵 好吗
She was a rare flower that grew in the dark, okay?
从来不♥穿♥胸罩的稀有花朵
A rare flower that never, ever wore a bra.
这是她的辞职书
Here's her resignation.
这是小海豹的照片吗
This is a -- a picture of a baby seal?
不 她一屁♥股♥坐在了复印机上
No, she put that ass on the copy machine.
知道吗 这样挺好的
You know what? Good for her.
看来最后一切都解决了
Well, looks like in the end, it all worked out.
不 哈佛生 并不是一切都解决了 好吗
No, Harvard, it didn't all work out, okay?
我刚度过这辈子唯一的一次快乐假期
I just got back from the only nice vacation of my whole life.
我在卢浮宫里被摸了
I got touched in the Louvre.
真特别
That's pretty special.
我的"卢浮宫"还没被人摸过呢
I've never had my louvre touched.
听着
Okay, lookit.
我还沉浸在余兴中 好吗
I'm still about basking in this afterglow, okay?
我才不会让你毁了这一切 所以你得解决问题
I'm not gonna let you ruin that, so you need to fix this.
如果有谁需要我
Now, if anybody needs me,
我就在垃圾桶旁边沉浸
I will be by the dumpster basking.
听着 我会换掉所有人 好吗
Well, look, I'll replace everyone, okay?
我现在更好了 你能信任我
I'm a better man now. You can trust me.
别让他掌权
Don't leave him in charge!
你被炒了
You're fired!
好吧 重新雇佣你了
Okay. You're re-hired.
重新雇佣你了 重新雇佣你了
You're re-hired. You're re-hired!
你是新来的啊
So, you're new here.
是啊 我是琳赛
Yeah, I'm Lindsay.
我接替了一个完全失控的人
I took over for some guy who had a complete meltdown.
完全崩溃了
Total implosion.
搞砸了一切 我是说 我会自杀
Pissed away everything. I mean, I would kill myself.
是你 对吧
It's you, isn't it?
是的
It is.
我会杀了自己
I would kill myself.
我没这打算
Yeah, well, I'm not going to.
虽然我不敢相信他们居然让你坐我的办公桌
Though I can't believe they gave you my desk.
我坐在这里坐了五年
You know, I had this desk for five years.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Really? - Yeah.
那这一定是你的
Then this must be yours.
里面都是护发产品
It was so full of hair-care products,
我还以为你是个姑娘呢
I figured you were a girl.
相信我 我是纯爷们
Trust me. I'm all man.
红石榴洗发水 在巴黎怎么不见你
Pomegranate shampoo? Where were you in Paris?
总之 我很高兴你被炒了
Anyway, I'm so happy you got fired
因为我真的喜欢这份工作
because I really love this job,
但你看上去是个好人
but you seem so nice.
我真希望你家里有人
I really hope you have someone at home
能帮你挺过这一切
who can help you through this.
也许是个男朋友
Maybe a boyfriend.
我没男朋友 好吗
I don't have a boyfriend, okay?