爱情零距离（2013）

知道吗
Okay?
把椰子汁放下
Put that coconut water down.
椰子汁得完成任务才能喝
Coconut water is for closers!
我们今天要发很多新手♥机♥
Now we got a lot of new phones to distribute today, okay?
为了让工作有趣些
So... to keep things fun,
我们要办个比赛
we're gonna have a contest.
一等奖 不知道会是什么呢
First prize--I wonder what it's gonna be.
是果酱饼干 在这儿呢
It's gonna be a pop-tart. There it is.
快看啊 二等奖是
Check it out! Second prize...
又是一块果酱饼干
another pop-tart!
三等奖是 你被炒了
And third prize is... you're fired!
因为我们只有...
Because we only have the--
只有两块果酱饼干
We just have the two pop-tarts.
你不能炒我们
You can't fire us.
是吗
Oh, no?
你还不知道自己面对的是谁吧
I don't think you know who you're dealing with, okay?
看到这块表了吗 可比那些果酱饼干值钱
See this watch? This watch cost more than those pop-tarts.
你今天怎么来上班的
How'd you get to work today?
我可是乘
Because I got here
九万块的公交车来的
in a $90,000 bus.
老兄 你真是疯了
Dude, you are really crazy, man.
我要走了
I'm up out of here.
走啊 都走啊
Go. Fine. You can all leave!
好像我真需要你们似的
Like I need of you anyways!
烦人 他们拿走了果酱饼干
Ah, hell. They took the pop-tarts.
亲爱的 你在做什么
Hey, baby. Whatcha doin'?
我正在为我人生中
Oh, I'm making a presentation
最重要的会面准备演示稿
for the biggest meeting of my life.
-你能给点意见吗 -好 真赞
- Will you actually tell me what you think? - Yeah, I love it.
你看完再评价好吗
Well, can I show it to you first?
-好的 -好
- All right. - Okay.
那么 好 我先调到开头
So--all right, let me just get back to the beginning.
好了 那么
Okay, so...
我们先展示公♥司♥的标志 然后
We open with the Remington Trust company logo. And then--
-我能提个意见吗 -当然 说吧
- Ooh! Can I say something? - Uh, sure. Go ahead.
你应该用我的新标语
You should use my new slogan,
"雷明顿信托 值得信赖"
"You can't spell Remington Trust without trust."
我觉得 好的 这个我们再议
I think--uh, yeah, let's-- let's put a pin in that.
我想先让你看看演示内容
I just wanted to show you the presentation for--
开始吧 第一张图片基本就是
So--here we go. So the first slide is basically
客户行业的简单概述
a brief overview of the client's industry,
-也就是 -我能提个意见吗
- which basically-- - Ooh! Can I say something?
-怎么了 -他是做石油的 对吧
- What? - He does oil, right?
你为什么不把这些一行行的字
So, like, how about, instead of these lines or whatever,
换成一个喷钱的油井
you do, uh, oil wells that are spouting money?
好吧 先不说那些
Um... okay, because it's not what I'm doing.
我能先让你看看演示内容吗
Can I just, uh, show you the presentation?
-可以 -好的
- Yes. - Okay.
-抱歉宝贝 目前为止挺棒的 -谢谢你
- I'm sorry, baby. It's really good so far. - Aw, thank you.
那么 这是最出彩的部分
So--oh, this is the best part.
我将我们公♥司♥客户的理财收益做了对比
I basically compare our performance to our client's,
点名批评了其他公♥司♥ 十分大胆哦
and I name names, which is pretty ballsy.
-我能提个意见吗 -怎么了
- Can I say something? - What?
挺单调的 我觉得你应该做得更有趣一些
It's really dry. I think you should make it fun.
什么啊 趣味不重要
What do you--it's not supposed to be fun,
关键是要做好
it's supposed to be good.
对 但是有趣和好可以兼得
Yeah, but it could be fun and good.
比如说
Like--oh...
我们为新员工拍了一段视频
We made this video for new employees
叫做"欢迎加入雷明顿信托投资公♥司♥“
called "Welcome to Remington Trust,"
哈佛生戴着船长帽
and Harvard's wearing this captain's hat!
太可笑了
It's ridiculous!
等等 这么说
Wait. So-so...
你想让我把哈佛生戴着船长帽的视频
You want me to put a video of Harvard in a captain's hat
加到我的演示里
into my presentation?
不 我会直接跳过演示部分
No, I would just skip the presentation.
我不会跳过演示的
I'm not skipping the presentation.
这次会面就是为了演示
The whole point is the presentation.
好吧 我只是想帮忙
Okay, I'm just trying to help.
那我不需要你帮忙
Well, I-I don't need your help then.
那你为什么问我意见
Then why did you ask me what I think?
因为我只想听你说这很棒
Because I just wanted you to say it was great.
好棒啊
Then it's great!
我回我的办公室了
I'm going back to my office...
现在应该是在这边
which is over here now.
曼斯菲尔德先生 我只想提醒你
Mr. Mansfield? Just wanted to remind you
你在四点要和汤姆齐斯会面
that you have the Tomkins meeting at 4:00,
我还需要你在几个东西上签名
and I need your John Hancock on a few things,
包括给马克·扎克伯格的生日卡
including a birthday card for Mark Zuckerberg.
我找到了一张只写着"赞"的卡
I found one that just says "Like."
先生 如果你病了 就应该取消会面
Sir, if you're sick, you should cancel the meeting.
我不会取消会面的
I'm not going to cancel the meeting,
因为我没病
because I'm not sick.
生病代表着投降
Sickness is surrender.
我的身体是不是背叛了我 染上了病毒
Did my body betray me and allow a virus in?
也许吧 但这不是我的问题
Perhaps, but that's not my problem.
如果我的身体想跟我对着干
If my body wants to pick a fight with me,
我会灭了它的 但我不会
I'll kicks its ass, but I will not--
我重复一遍 我不会投降
I repeat, I will not-- surrender.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
因为看起来你的身体
Um, because it looks like the only thing
现在全靠桌子撑着
holding you up right now is that table.
你错了 离开吧
Incorrect. You may leave.
先生 你应该休息
Sir, you need to rest.
你在做什么 米勒女士
What are you-- what are you doing, Ms. Miller?
你这么做没有好下场的
Th-this does not end well for you.
你快把遥控器放下
If you just put the remote down,
我们就当什么也没发生过
we'll never speak of this ever again.
我投降
I surrender.
嗨 关于之前的事 很抱歉我有点急
Hey. About before, I'm sorry if I was a little prickly.
是的 但你不是急 你是捉急
Yeah, you were. Without the "Ly."
我知道 我知道
I know, I know, I know, I know.
我只是有些紧张 因为这次会面对我很重要
I'm just tense because this meeting is so important to me.
你可以放松了 曼斯菲尔德让我取消会面
Well, you can relax, because Mansfield told me to cancel it.
你好 请接汤姆齐斯先生办公室
Hi. Mr. Tomkins' office, please?
-什么 不 -见鬼 你在做什么
- What?! No! - Ah! Damn! What are you doing?
-我在挂电♥话♥ -不 你把电♥话♥转了
- I'm hanging up! - No, you're n-- you just transferred the call.
你们有人知道这电♥话♥怎么用吗
Do any of you guys know how to use these phones?
听着 你不能取消会面
Look, you--you cannot cancel that meeting.
你猜怎么 我一个人去
You know what? I'll do it without him.
-你疯了吗 -是的 像痞老板一样疯
- Are you crazy? - Yeah. Crazy like Plankton.
《海绵宝宝》中反面人物 有统治世界的野心
听着 曼斯菲尔德一直在说
Look, Mansfield keeps talking about
要找人管理新部门
someone opening up a new office.
如果我能独力拿下这个客户 我就是那个人
If I can land this client alone, I'll be that guy.
亲爱的 你给我说过你从来没有
Babe, you just told me that you've never done
-参与过这种会面 -我准备好了
- a meeting like this before. - Well, I'm ready.
我写好了演示稿 我可以进行演示
I-I wrote the presentation. I could do the presentation.
-我的演示超棒的 -亲 你的演示很一般
- The presentation's great. - Uh, babe, the presentation's all right.
就是很棒 听着 你根本不懂我的业务
It's great! Look, you don't know anything about my business.
而我自己懂 当曼斯菲尔德发现我并不是
I do. When Mansfield sees that I don't have to be
第二小提琴部 而是整个管弦乐团
second fiddle, that I could be the whole damn orchestra,
他会要求我返场表演的
he's gonna ask for an encore.
说不定来段双簧管独奏
Maybe even an oboe solo.
是的 我知道我跟音乐比喻杠上了
And, yes, I know I'm stuck in a music metaphor,
但这个会面我去定了
but I'm gonna do this meeting.
天啊 你跟他一样固执
Oh, my god! You are just as stubborn as he is.
谢谢
Thank you.
我不是在夸你
It wasn't a compliment.
老兄 你一定要给我换个新手♥机♥
Dude, you gotta hook me up with a new phone.
我的旧手♥机♥坏了