公关（2019）

What's the opposite of a beard?
胡子的反义词是什么?
A shave?
刮胡子吗?
MELODY: What are we talking about?
梅洛迪:我们在说什么?
Melody, this is Gary.
梅洛迪，这是加里。
We need a gay man to pretend to be his boyfriend
我们需要一个男同性恋假装他的男朋友
so that Gary can pretend to be gay.
这样加里就可以假装自己是同性恋。
Now you've lost me.
现在你失去了我。
Ooh, what about him from Coronation Street? He's gay.
哦，他在加冕街怎么样?他是同性恋者。
He's actually straight.
他实际上是直的。
He just plays gay. I think it's going to be too confusing.
他只是同性恋。我觉得这太让人困惑了。
Can it not be someone too gay?
难道不是太同性恋的人吗?
You know, uh, what about that, that rugby dude?
你知道吗，那个橄榄球运动员怎么样?
Okay, so you need a gay man to be the boyfriend of a straight man
好吧，所以你需要一个同性恋男人做一个异性恋男人的男朋友
so that he can convince the world that he's not straight?
这样他就能让全世界相信他不是异性恋?
Exactly.
完全正确。
We need the male equivalent of Taylor Swift.
我们需要男性版的泰勒·斯威夫特。
ROBYN: But not too famous to overshadow Gary.
罗宾:但也没名气到盖瑞的风头。
But famous enough that they're willing to spend six months of their lives
但足够有名，他们愿意花六个月的时间
pretending to go out with a straight footballer
假装和一个直男球员出去
just to get their picture in the papers.
只是为了把他们的照片登在报纸上。
Oh, no, I think I have the guy: Jay Burns.
哦，不，我想我找到那个人了:杰·伯恩斯。
He starred on this reality show called Holiday Reprobates,
他主演了一档名为《假日弃儿》的真人秀节目，
and then he had a brief appearance on, like, Britain's Got Talent,
然后他在《英国达人秀》上短暂亮相，
X Factor, Hollywood Front Dating
《X音素》，《好莱坞前线约会》
and a fleeting appearance on This Morning where he had this live colonoscopy on air
今天早上他在直播结肠镜检查时短暂露面
with Dr. Chris. He's calm as Christmas, and he would literally beat his own mother
博士克里斯。他像圣诞节一样平静，他甚至会打自己的母亲
to death with a claw hammer if he thought it would get him on the telly.
如果他认为这能让他上电视的话，就用羊角锤砸死他。
He sounds perfect. Really?
他听起来很完美。—真的吗?
Okay. Get him on the phone. Get him here ASAP.
好吧。给他打电♥话♥。尽快把他叫来。
Eve, you start working on the press release, and get Gary a Grindr account.
伊芙，你开始写新闻稿，给加里弄个Grindr账号♥。
You. Let's go break the news to your teammates.
你。我们去把这个消息告诉你的队友吧。
Ooh, can I come?
我能来吗?
What? Now?
什么?现在?
Gary, you're here. You're queer. Get used to it.
加里,你在这里。你是同性恋。习惯它。
You're what?
你是什么?
Yeah.
是的。
I'm like a... proper gay.
我像一个……适当的同性恋。
Shit, man. I shared a bath with you.
他妈的,人。我和你一起洗过澡。
We all have.
我们都有。
This is so fucked up.
这太糟糕了。
Okay, guys. I understand that this is gonna come as a bit of a shock,
好了,伙计们。我知道这有点令人震惊
but what Gary's done today takes a lot of balls,
但加里今天所做的需要很多勇气
and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if you all just got behind him.
我相信如果你们都支持他，他会很感激的。
Bad choice of words.
用词不当。
My point being, you need to support him.
我的意思是，你需要支持他。
Don't you think so, Patrick?
你不这么认为吗，帕特里克?
Um...
嗯…
Yeah, I mean...
是的,我的意思是……
As a straight man,
作为一个直男，
obviously, it's not something I can personally understand,
显然，这不是我个人能理解的，
but, you know, you're still our friend and everything, so...
但是，你知道，你仍然是我们的朋友，所以…
Thanks, mate.
谢谢,伴侣。
Okay, look.
好,看。
I appreciate it must take a lot of nerve to come out
我很感激你一定很有勇气才说出来
and say this to us.
请告诉我们。
It's just gonna take some time to get used to, isn't it?
只是需要一些时间来适应，不是吗?
Yeah, I know.
是的,我知道。
You never like, um, when we are getting changed and that?
你从来不喜欢，嗯，当我们换衣服的时候?
No, of course not!
不，当然不是!
You're not my type.
你不是我喜欢的类型。
What is your type?
你是什么类型的?
I don't know, um...
我不知道，嗯…
That rugby dude.
橄榄球的家伙。
Do you have a boyfriend, or...?
你有男朋友吗?
Yeah. A guy called Joel. Jay.
是的。一个叫Joel的人。—周杰伦。
Jay.
杰伊。
I guess, uh... Now you say it, it sort of makes sense.
我想,嗯…现在你说，这有点道理。
What?
什么?
You know, sometimes you can be a bit, eh...
你知道，有时候你会有点…
Okay, right. This has been hugely inspiring
好的,正确的。这非常鼓舞人心
seeing how supportive you've all been.
看看你们有多支持我
Well done.
做得很好。
What about Samantha?
萨曼莎呢?
Who?
谁?
His girlfriend.
他的女朋友。
Excuse me for just a second.
失陪一下。
Samantha's on the market!
萨曼莎在市场上!
You didn't tell me you had a girlfriend.
你没告诉我你有女朋友。
You never asked.
你从没问过。
Well, how long have you been together?
你们在一起多久了?
Couple of years.
好几年。
Oh, fuck's sake. Look...
看在他妈的份上。看…
She'll be cool, man. Serious.
她会很酷的，伙计。认真的。
Who do you think spends all my money for me?
你以为谁把我所有的钱都花在我身上了?
Okay. It's fine.
好吧。它很好。
We'll just have to say that Samantha was your beard
我们只能说萨曼莎是你的胡子
to cover up your relationship with your new reverse beard, Jay.
为了掩盖你和你的新胡子的关系杰
And Jay will have to cover up for your and Samantha's relationship.
杰得为你和萨曼莎的关系打掩护
So as far as anyone else is concerned,
所以对于其他人来说，
she's now your hag, and you're her GBF.
她现在是你的母夜叉，而你是她的GBF。
Got it?
明白了吗?
Okay, well... This has been a good talk.
好吧,嗯…这是一次很好的谈话。
I'm sure we all feel much better,
我相信我们都感觉好多了
and get dressed, 'cause the guests will be arriving soon.
穿好衣服，因为客人马上就到。
Robyn? Jay's here.
罗宾?周杰伦在这里。
Hiya.
你好。
I need you to look after something for me.
我需要你帮我照看一些东西。
What?
什么?
Eve... Are these drugs?
夜……这些药物吗?
Oh, relax. I'll be handing them out like canapes later.
哦,放松。我稍后会把它们像点心一样分发出去。
Why are you giving them to me?
你为什么要给我?
Oh, just, you know...
哦，只是，你知道……
Tom's off it, so I just don't want him to have to find it in my bag.
汤姆不干了，所以我不想让他在我包里找到它。
It's no big deal.
没什么大不了的。
Oh, my God. So cute. Stop it.
天啊太可爱了。—停止它。
You really like him, don't you?
你真的喜欢他，是吗?
Just take the fucking cocaine, okay?
把可♥卡♥因♥拿去，好吗?
If you mention this to anyone,
如果你跟任何人提起这件事
I will stab you in your sleep.
我要在你睡觉时刺你。
Absolutely.
绝对的。
Christ, imagine if a bomb went off.
天哪，想象一下如果炸♥弹♥爆♥炸♥了。
We'd knock out the men online for a week.
我们会让男人在网上昏迷一周。
All right?
好吧?
You've got that Tess Daly dead-behind-the-eyes thing going on.
你让黛丝·戴利死在幕后了。
It's fine. I'm...
它很好。我…
We all good?
我们都好吗?
Well, Bianca looks like a toilet paper doll
比安卡看起来像个厕纸娃娃
from the '70s, which I believe is the desired look.
从70年代♥开♥始，我相信这是我想要的样子。
HELLO! are "very happy with the turnout."
你好!“对投票率非常满意。”
Press are all in place, and I've prepped them
出版社都准备好了，我已经准备好了
for an extra announcement after all the photos are done.
在所有的照片完成后，会有一个额外的通知。
If you were a real woman, I'd make you my wife.
如果你是一个真正的女人，我会让你做我的妻子。
Don't make promises you can't keep.
不要做出无法兑现的承诺。
I take it that's Samantha?
我想那是萨曼莎吧?
Will you deal with that, please?
请你处理一下好吗?
We don't need a hysterical spanner in the works.
我们不需要一个歇斯底里的扳手。
On it like a nun in a cucumber field.
就像修女在黄瓜地里一样。
Status update?
状态更新吗?
I'm scared to say that I think we're good to go.
我不敢说我们可以走了。
I just heard the news about Calvin.
我刚听到卡尔文的消息。