废柴联盟（2009）

Community S02E09

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:16 a.m.

You already have three farting strikes against you.
你已经放过三个响屁了
W--he's getting away!
什么让他赶紧闪开啊
I know a shortcut. Through the Turkish district.
我知道有条捷径穿过土耳其特区
Britta?
布雷塔
Go!
快点爬啊
There he is! What the hell's this?
他在那儿呢这是嘛玩意儿啊
Latvian independence parade.
拉脱维亚独♥立♥游♥行♥
Don't look at me. They had the proper permits.
瞪我♥干♥嘛人家有城♥管♥授权的
Damn it! We lost him!
可恶我们追不上他了
Luckily, I sent the diorama car to the chem lab
还好我已经把汽车模型送到化学实验室
to have the explosive analyzed.
进行爆♥炸♥原因分♥析♥了
Isn't that him playing the trejdeksnis?
那个举着响叮当的是不是他啊
Nice try, Woolley!
装挺像嘛
Now, tell us everything.
坦白从宽抗拒从严
Tell you?
坦白吗
I'll show you!
我袒露给你看
What is this place?
这是什么鬼地方
This, Annie, is night school.
安妮这里就是传说中的夜校
Every student, every teacher, every class--
所有的学生老师还有课程都在这了
Figments...
臆想为花
Puffs of hot air...
捏造为云
From the lips of a ghost
独角兽之梦梦之鬼魅
in the shadow of a unicorn's dream.
鬼魅之唇吞云吐雾皆为虚无
I made it up. Night school doesn't exist.
我编造了这一切夜校根本不存在
I used to be a student here at Greendale like you, Jeff,
我和你一样曾是格林德尔的一名学生
Then one day I invented a fake course to get a free credit.
突然有一天我瞎编出一门课来混学分
To keep up the lie, I had to create a fake teacher
为了圆这个谎我得编出一个假老师
who needed other fake classes
假老师得上其他假课
that needed to be filled with other fake students,
假课得别的假学生来上
and so on and so on and so on, "Etchethra!"
谎越说越大叮当叮当
Did you just mispronounce et cetera?
你是想说"等等等等"吗
My latin class is fake, Jeff...
拉丁文课也是假的杰夫
Like all my classes, like my life.
我的课我的人生都是如此
Aren't you listening?
你有在听我说嘛
Yeah, I am.
我在听
And a very familiar feeling is starting to come over me.
一种似曾相识之感向我袭来
I feel like someone is trying to teach me something.
我感觉好像是谁要教我点什么
Jeff, the only thing
杰夫这个房♥间里
that's ever been learned in this room is regret!
我唯一真正学到的就是悔恨
Would that this desk were a time desk...
如果这张桌子是时光桌
so that I could correct my past mistakes...
那我就能一切重来
Ride dinosaurs...
乘着恐龙
Fight with Jack the ripper.
和开膛手杰克一较高下
Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute.
慢着慢着
Unicorns? Ghost lips? Time desks?
独角兽鬼魅之唇时光桌
Doesn't any of this overly stylized garbage
这些老掉牙的垃圾是不是
remind you of anyone?
让你想起了某个人
Everything this guy says is ripped from
这个人所说简直是照搬
the sure-to-be-unpublished pages of dean dangerous.
未发表的《邪恶院长传奇》
I don't know what you mean.
我不知道你在说什么
Oh, I think you do.
别装蒜了
By the way, next time you walk someone to your fake lair,
顺便告诉你一声如果你再撒谎的话
don't pass the theater department...
千万别路过戏剧系
Drama professor Sean Garrity.
戏剧教授肖恩·加洛蒂
Thank god. That character was killing me.
谢天谢地这个角色快折磨死我了
Word of advice: If you ever scrape the Dean's car,
忠告一句如果你下次划了院长的车
don't tell him you're gonna pay him back in acting.
千万说你愿意演戏作偿
On thanksgiving, I'm supposed to crash his family dinner
感恩节我还得去他的家庭晚宴上捣乱
and accuse him of stealing my girlfriend.
指责他抢了我马子
Wow. I guess this did go all the way to the top.
果然把最高层都扯下马了
I'm calling the Dean right now
我现在就给院长打电♥话♥
and giving him a piece of my mind!
让他领教一下铁齿铜牙安晓妮
No, wait.
不等一下
Garrity...
加洛蒂
Does the theater department have any of those prop guns
戏剧系是不是有几把道具枪
that fire blanks?
能唬唬人?
Of course. We just did a modern retelling of Macbeth
当然有我们刚刚重排过现代版的麦克白
set in Gangland Chicago.
背景是芝加哥黑帮
Oh. Fresh take.
有新意
And you think I'm lazy.
比我还懒呢
Prop guns?
道具枪
Jeff...what do you have in mind?
杰夫你要干嘛
A little demonstration for the dean
我要给院长好好上一课
on the dangers of trying to educate me.
让他知道糊弄我的后果
He doesn't like fake classes?
他不喜欢假课程是吧
Well, he's about to get a real lesson on the fact
我倒要让他用鲜血染红旗帜
that Jeff Winger never learns.
杰夫·翁格之死不悔改
Here he comes. Get set.
他来了各就给位
You wanted to see me?
你想见我吗
Hi, Mr...Professorson.
你好啊叫兽森先生
His real name is Woolley.
他的真名叫无力
And he's defrauded your school
他每年都从你的学校里
to a tune of dozens of credits per year
造假骗取相当可观的学分
and nearly twice as many dollars.
更别提没交的学费有多少钱了
Well, that's serious.
这情节也太严重了吧
Fortunately for you,
不过你小子走运了
I'm a big believer in second chances.
我一生行善决定给你第二次机会
I'm not.
我可不会
Hey! Annie!
安妮
Oh, my god, you-- you shot him!
老天爷你杀了他
Of course I shot him! He was being dishonest.
他满口胡言留着何用
And if there's one thing Greendale's taught me, it's--
格林德尔唯一教会我的就是...
Whoa, what the hell? She had a gun!
搞毛啊她有枪
It was a fake gun!
我拿的是假枪
We staged this to get back at you for deceiving us!
我们排了这一出就为了报复你的欺骗
But you're the deceiver, Jeffrey!
是你骗人在先杰夫瑞
Yeah? Well, now you're the dead guy.
那怎么地现在该你陪葬了
Jeff! What are you doing?
杰夫你干吗
Why do you have a real gun?
哪来的真枪
Why did you shoot the dean?
你为什么冲校长开枪
Well, he shot you! Not really!
他向你开枪没有
He and I were in on this from the start.
这一切都是我们俩策划的
When he found out you were faking a class,
他察觉你瞎编了一门课程后
he came to me and we cooked up this whole conspiracy thing
就来找我我们编了这么一出阴谋戏
to illustrate the slippery slope of academic fraud!
想教育你拿学习当儿戏后果很严重
You know what you actually illustrated, Annie?
可你知道你教会了我什么吗安妮
How to be a crappy friend.
你是个烂朋友
Once it was obvious the dean
当我觉察到校长就是
had orchestrated everything,
这一切的始作俑者之时
it was even more obvious
我就知道这么一出戏
the dean was too stupid to orchestrate anything.
他那浆糊脑子可编不出来
So on a hunch, I called him,
所以直觉使然我找到他
and we hatched a plan to teach you
我们就偷偷策划了一出戏
a lesson or two about friendship.
来教育你怎么当朋友
But, jeff, I only did it because I love you.
但杰夫我做这些是因为我爱你
Well, when you love someone,
如果你爱某人
you have to take them as they are.
你就应该接受他的全部
People aren't playthings, Annie.
别人可不是你的玩具安妮
No, they are not.
不他们不是
Look who's talking.
瞧你那嘴脸
After everything you've put me through?
你居然这样对待我
Okay. Where'd you get that gun?
你哪来的枪
There were only three prop guns.
只有三支道具枪
Yeah, well, I live in a terrible neighborhood.
穷街陋巷里找枪还不容易
Annie, put the gun down.
安妮把枪放下
After we kissed,
在我们那一吻后
I waited all summer to see you.
我苦苦等了一个夏天才见到你
You...buried me
你却不理我
like a shameful secret.
好像那一吻见不得人一样
What's the matter, Jeff?
你怕什么呢杰夫