废柴联盟（2009）

Community S02E02

Part 3 Oct. 20, 2020, 9:14 a.m.

I love the brain in there!
我喜欢里面的大脑
I'll eat it.
我要吃这个
Hey, everybody, Jeff Winger's here!
大家注意下杰夫·翁格来了
Hey!
欢迎
Shouldn't we notify someone
我们是不是应该通知一下谁
that our team's not gonna make it to the pop-and-lock-a-thon?
说咱们队没法去参加机械舞马拉松了
You actually think anybody cares?
你还真以为会有人关心吗
Um, checking in for the Heather pop and locklears.
石南花嘻哈队前来登记
Okay. And, um... Where's the rest of your team?
好的其他团队成员呢
Oh, they'll be here.
他们会来的
I suppose you're allowed to start by yourself,
我想你可以自己开始跳
but you won't stand a chance if you don't have someone--
但如果没有队友你是不可能获胜的
They'll be here!
他们会来的
I brought stuff people use for capers.
我带了些作案工具来
Suction cup.
吸盘
Credit card.
信♥用♥卡♥
Chloroform.
氯仿[麻醉剂]
The credit card doesn't work, the chloroform does.
如果信♥用♥卡♥不起作用就用氯仿
Annie, go back and keep lookout.
安妮回去帮我们放风
Why me lookout? Why not you guys?
为什么是我放风为什么不是你们
'cause if someone comes up here,
因为如果有人来这里
Kanye and Kumar get taken to jail.
溜门撬锁二人组就要去蹲监狱了
You get taken to dinner. You guys!
而你则会被约去吃晚饭别这样
I am the smartest one in this whole group,
我可是这个小组里最聪明的人
And all I've been used for is bait and distraction.
却只能当个诱饵分散别人的注意
Go on your stupid mission.
继续你们愚蠢的任务吧
I hope it sucks.
希望你们搞砸
What did she say? I don't know.
她说什么我不知道
All I heard was suck.
我就听到suck[搞砸/吮吸]
I'm surprised that Alan hasn't made partner yet.
艾伦还没有成为合伙人这让我很吃惊
I'm surprised I haven't fired him.
没开掉他就不错了
Why? I mean, he's got a better win record than I do.
为什么我是说他的胜利记录比我还好
He's a spineless trust fund jagoff.
他是个没有骨气的信托基金屌♥人
I'll tell you what, jeff.
我给你说杰夫
You're the best liar I ever employed.
你是我所雇过的最棒的骗子
If you can look me in the eye
如果你看着我的眼睛
and tell me you actually like Alan,
告诉我你真的喜欢艾伦
I'll make him a full partner.
我就让他做完全责任合伙人
Well, I only ever really liked one person.
我这辈子只喜欢过一个人
My mom.
我妈妈
And she liked my dad.
她喜欢我老爸
And after all the dust and custody was settled,
一切归于尘土监护权也尘埃落定后
The guy I really admired-- not liked, admired--
我真正崇拜不是喜欢是崇拜
Was the lawyer leaving the courthouse
就是穿着帅气衣服
in the great-looking suit
开天蓝色梅赛德斯奔驰SLK
and a sky blue mercedes slk.
离开法♥院♥的律师
Sweet ride. Sweet job.
好车好工作
Sweet life. He didn't care.
好生活他不在乎
He couldn't care.
他也顾不上
And the less he cared, the better he was.
他越不关心他就越优秀
We are a special breed
我们是特殊的人物
because we rise above the sloppy stuff
因为我们要站在更高角度看世界
and look at the bottom line.
寻找事物的底线
You wanna like your employees?
你想要喜欢你的员工们吗
Open a hair salon.
开个美发沙龙好了
You wanna win?
你想要赢得诉讼吗
Make Alan partner.
那就让艾伦入伙
The student has become the master.
青出于蓝而更甚
Thank you, Jeff.
谢谢你杰夫
You make me wanna be a worse man.
你让我想做个更烂的人
By the way, just 'cause you can't work cases here
顺便说一下就算你不能在这里负责案件
doesn't mean you can't work.
也可以来工作嘛
You can always be a consultant.
你可以做个顾问
Ted...That would be amazing.
泰德这可太好了
Oh. I'll be right back.
失陪一下
I didn't know they had rules.
我都不知道还有规矩
Hey, Jeff. I'm sure you know Philip.
杰夫你肯定认识菲利普吧
Did you know
你知道吗
that if I sleep with philip once a month,
如果我每个月都和菲利普睡一觉
I can use his beach house in Rio whenever I want?
我就可以随时去住他在里奥的海滨别♥墅♥
Wow.
太棒了
You guys are really on to something.
你俩这交易真不错
I think you found the world's newest profession.
我想你发现了世界上最新的一个职业
Guys, guys, did you know
伙计们你们知道吗
I actually have a civil case
那个抢我丈夫的贱女
against that bitch that stole my husband?
据说我可以对她进行民事诉讼
Shirley, don't sue a stripper.
雪瑞别去起诉脱衣舞♥女♥郎
Why not? She's a stripper.
为什么不能她是个脱衣舞♥女♥郎
Life sued her, and she lost.
生活已经起诉了她她败诉了
Where's Pierce?
皮尔斯跑哪去了
Jeez, why am I even worried about him?
老天我为什么要去担心他
Did you know there's an island in Indonesia
你们知道在印度尼西亚的一个岛上
where you can hunt people?
你是可以捕猎人类的吗
We need to talk.
我们得好好谈谈
I think this is it. Print it.
就是这封邮件了打印吧
'scuse me.
打扰一下
Who are you guys? This is not your office.
你们是谁这不是你们的办公室
I can explain.
我可以解释
Let me explain.
让我解释给你听
Oh, my god!
神啊
I didn't know what to do. Oh, my god!
我不知道该怎么办了我的天
I usually have one foot out of reality,
我通常都不会插手现实
and even I'm freaking out right now.
而现在就连我也吓坏了
You chloroformed the janitor?
你用氯仿放倒了门卫
Stop yelling at me! You're the ones that got caught!
别冲我大喊大叫的是你们被抓住了
You're the one who's yelling!
是你在大喊大叫
We're in big trouble! We have to do something!
我们有大♥麻♥烦了我们得做点什么
Oh, I don't know what to do.
我不知道该怎么办了
My whole brain is crying!
我整个大脑都在哭泣
Guys, guys, guys!
伙计们伙计们
Hey, hey, I have an idea.
我有个办法
Okay, it may sound a little weird, but trust me.
可能听起来有点怪不过请相信我
What's...Happening?
发生什么事情了
Oh! We all got chloroformed!
我们都被氯仿放倒了
Somebody chloroformed all of us.
有人用氯仿迷昏了我们
And now we're regaining consciousness together.
现在我们又一起清醒过来
I don't understand. Who's she?
我不明白她是谁
Why is she holding a rag?
她为什么拿着抹布
Okay, that was the worst idea ever.
好吧这主意太垃圾了
Can we please just run away now?
我们现在能直接逃走了吗
Yeah. Yeah.
好好
Sorry.
抱歉
It is the fourth straight hour,
已经过了四个小时了
And Ben Chang is still on his own.
本·昌仍在孤军奋战
One can only imagine what is driving him to...
大家都在想究竟是什么让他
push himself to such limits!
不断挑战自己的极限
My body hurts.
我全身疼
my body hurts.
全身疼
You jealous because we're fitting in with your cool friends?
我们和你的酷友相处和谐你嫉妒了?
No. I'm distracted, watching you mutate.
不你们变身让我看着难受
Britta, you're not a whore.
布雷塔你不是站街女郎
Shirley, Jesus turned the other cheek.
雪瑞耶稣宽宏忍♥让
He didn't garnish wages.
不会去索取赔偿
Pierce, do I even need to say this?
皮尔斯还需要我告诉你吗
It is bad to hunt man for sport.
把人当猎物的运动是不对的
Bad ass.
厉害
This is the email that Alan sent the bar association.
这是艾伦发给律师公会的电邮
He stabbed you in the back, Jeff.
杰夫是他出♥卖♥♥♥你的
He's a bad friend.
他是个损友
You're right.
你说的对