废柴联盟（2009）
Community
第二季
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废柴联盟（2009）
Community S02E08
Part 3
Oct. 20, 2020, 9:15 a.m.
He freed my pet monkey.
他放走了我的宠物猴子
Because we corrupted him.
因为我们把他带坏了
He's our innocent.
他可是我们的单纯宝宝啊
He put gum in your hair.
他往你头发里面放口香糖
Empty the bag, Abed.
把书包掏空 阿布蒂
Uh, Pierce,
皮尔斯
You don't have a bag? Giraffe.
你没有书包吗 搞笑
Uh, Jeff, you don't have a bag?
杰夫 你没有包吗
Oh, I could never deprive the world
哦 我永远不会让包带
of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
遮挡住我完整的胸怀
Makes sense. So what's left?
有道理 还剩下谁
Shirley, a little hugging and crying,
雪瑞 要不要来一个爱的拥抱
and then we're done?
就此一笔勾销?
Wait,Abed, why is my name in here?
阿布蒂 为什么这儿会有我的名字
That's mine.
那是我的本本
And shirley's and annie's?
怎么雪瑞和安妮也在上面
What is it? Charts.
这是嘛啊 各种图表
Some kind of calendar?
看起来像是日历
That's my persal private business.
个人隐私 别看了
Annie,4 on, 28 off, next, november 10th.
安妮为期4天 间期28天 下一次11月10号♥
Britta,5 on, 27 off...
布雷塔为期5天 间期27天
Are you charting our menstrual cycles?
你是不是在算我们的月经期啊
what?!
啥
Gross!
太恶心了
Abed, this is so personal!
这可是个人隐私
And so accurate.
不过算得还挺准的
Abed, this is really creepy.
阿布蒂 这也太吓人了
I really don't understand why you do this.
我实在搞不懂你为什么要这么做
I can explain.
容我解释一下
Oh. I thought you'd keep yelling over me.
我还以为你们还会接着吼我呢
Okay, I can explain.
好吧 让我来解释一下
You know I have trouble reading people,
你们也知道我不太了解常人的想法
and say the wrong things, sometimes,
所以经常说一些不符合常理的话
And I noticed it was happening more often with you
而且我注意到和你们在一起时
than it was with the others.
这种状况发生的更加频繁
And then I noticed fluctuating patterns,
之后发现这里有规可循
and I started graphing them,
我就开始归纳成表格
and by the time I realized what I was actually measuring,
后来我明白过来这算的是啥了
it has started to yield really positive results for everybody,
结果对咱大家都有好处
so I kept doing it.
我就继续算了
Were you ever gonna tell us about this?
你是打算一直瞒着我们吗
I--I feel so violated.
这对我是莫大的侮辱
More chocolate?
再来点巧克力吗
Oh! Get away from me!
快滚开
Abed just became my hero.
阿布蒂让我万分景仰
Can I have a little NO!
我能不能看一眼啊 滚
Guess it's true what they sayabout the sync-up.
你们周期一致了还是怎么
Okay, if I could just take this time
好吧 我想我正好可以借此机会
to sharea few words of sarcasm
对那个偷笔贼
with whoever it is that took this pen.
说一段意味深长的讽刺话
I would say thank you for doing this to me.
我想说 感谢你为我做的这一切
For a while I thought I'd have to suffer
全仰仗您 我才不用出门
through a puppy parade,
去看什么宠物游♥行♥
but I much prefer being entomb alive
像现在这样被活埋在感情坟墓
in a mausoleum of feelings
纠葛到让我无所适从
I can neither understand nor reciprocate.
说真的 这比宠物游♥行♥好玩儿多了
So whoever you're, can I get you anything?
请容我给您奉上些啥 聊表谢意
Ice cream? Best friend medal?
冰激凌还是最佳好友奖章
Anything?Mm-mmm?
什么都行
Okay, sarcasm over.
好吧 讽刺到此结束
You're last up, Shirley.
雪瑞 该你了
Dump your comedically huge bag and end this.
把你那滑稽可笑的大包清空 结束这一切吧
Uh, no, thank you.
不 谢了
Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel.
好啊 你够狠啊
Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau.
你到底隐瞒了什么 别想蒙我们
My oh my, Mike Tyson
拳王泰森
Just empty the bag.
把包交出来
No! I don't have Annie's pen.
不 我没拿安妮的笔
I'm simply a christian woman that doesn't open her bag.
我就是个不喜欢被当众搜包的基♥督♥徒而已
What did the christian woman think would happen
被搜个包还能遭天谴不成
when we got to her bag?
装个毛
The christian woman thought you'd find it on the muslim.
要搜就去搜穆♥斯♥林♥吧
Real nice!
您心真好
Nicer than you, condom carrier!
至少比你强 套套女
Dump the bag, you're guilty! No!
交出来 就是你干的 不
Oh, lord, he's thrown a clot!
老天 八成是脑血栓了
Pierce!Call 911!
皮尔斯 快打911
No! No! No!
不 不要啊
Pierce, you didn't need to do that.
皮尔斯 你没必要这么绝吧
Yes, I did.
当然得这样
All you guys do is talk,
你们就会扯淡
leaving me to do the things you won't do.
真格的事儿都得我来干
People like you are the reason
干打雷 不下雨
we took so long to get into Vietnam.
难怪打个越南都耗那么久
Is this what you were trying to hide, shirley?
雪瑞 你藏的就是这个吧
A pregnancy test?
验孕棒
And more importantly,
而且更重要的是
are they seriously marketing pregnancy tests to black women
还真有专为黑人女性设计的验孕棒
Guys! This is a terribly childish way
伙计们 你们搞什么
o handle this kind of situation.
会不会抓重点啊
Does this means you have a new boyfriend?
你有新男友了吗
Who, who, who?
谁啊 谁啊
Not that it's, uh, anyone's business...
跟你们...没关系
I recently reconnected with my husband over labor day,
我在劳动节之后和前夫勾搭上了
and it seems the lord may have a plan for us
貌似主还是想再给我们一次机会
that doesn't include that stripper slut he ran away with.
原来勾搭他的那个淫♥娃♥可以一边凉快去了
You're not pregnant, shirley. It's impossible.
雪瑞 你肯定没怀孕 不可能的事
Why does everybody think I'm old?
为啥都说老娘不能生了
I'm around Jeff's age!
我也就和杰夫一边大
I have a uterus!
姐有子♥宫♥好吧
No, no. According to my charts,
不是 根据我的图表显示
You couldn't have concived over labor day weekend.
你在劳动节的那个周末不可能怀孕的
You would have been ovulating on halloween.
你应该是到万圣节才排卵
Which is just as well,
这也挺给力的
because if you're gonna have a pregnant woman in one of these,
你要是鬼怪节上怀了孕 趁着怪胎还没生下来
I say go elevator labor or go home.
赶紧回家待着吧
Halloween?
万圣节吗
Well, that's that, then.
好吧 就这样吧
Yeah, what a relief.
是不是松了一口气啊
Looks like someone narrowly avoid
看来某些的生活
a "Lifestyle mistake" of their own.
那是相当的不浪荡啊
Oh! Or is it only bad if you sleep with unmarried men?
莫非勾搭光棍才叫浪荡吗
The bible doesn't recognize divorce, Britta!
圣经是不认可离婚的 布雷塔
When you marry a man, he's your man!
一旦结婚 他就永远是你的丈夫
Yeah, and after he marries someone else,
是吗 如果他再婚以后
if you jump into the sac with him, you're an angel,
你还和他鸳鸯戏水 这就是神的旨意
so long as you don't use protection?
所以你就可以不用套套了吗
I'm so glad you're enjoying this.
说出来很爽是吧
And I hope whoever stole that pen enjoys it in hell!
还有那杀千刀的偷笔贼 下地狱爽去吧
Nice try, stephen fry. "Stephen fry."
干得不错嘛 虎尔摩斯 是福尔摩斯
We all have an agreement.
我们都说好了的
Nobody leaves till we find it.
笔在人在 笔亡人亡
Get off.Here we go.
滚开 来吧
We are gonna find that pen!
把笔找出来
We are gonna find that pen!
一定找出来
And if we can't find it,
咱找不到
Our children will find it!
下一代接着找
Is it over here in the books?
是不是在这堆书里啊
This pen? This incredible, magical pen
笔呢 我的神笔马良大魔笔呢
That nobody knows how it could disappear?
怎么就自己消失了呢
废柴联盟（2009）
Community
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