废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E20

Part 4 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

So gay.
断背得一塌糊涂
Dark nightclub.
黑暗的夜♥总♥会♥
Throbbing music.
悸动的音乐
Men's roo-- men's room stall.
男洗男洗手间隔断
Penis!
擎天一柱
Two penises!
两柱
Agh, this is gay! It's so gay!
同志战友基情无限
Pierce! What?
皮尔斯什么
Sit down!
坐一边儿去
We'll take it from here.
这里我们接手
Jeff, where were you last night?
杰夫昨晚你在哪里
At a bar. Called it!
酒吧早说过了
Who can confirm that? Your mama.
谁能证明你母亲大人
What?! Well, I'm
啥那个...
What the hell, Annie?
你撞鬼啦安妮
Her name's not Annie. It's psycho.
她不叫安妮她叫疯妞儿
And if I were you, I'd tell her what she wants to hear.
如果我是你她想听什么我说什么
That's right, because if I have to hand you off to Shirley,
没错如果你落到雪瑞手上
you're gonna enter a kitchen of pain.
同样会身受苦楚
Guys, stop it!
大伙儿住手
Stop it. I did it.
住手是我做的
I framed Jeff.
我陷害了杰夫
I'm sorry, Jeff.
对不起杰夫
But why?
为什么呀
Because I'm a buzz kill, that's why.
因为我是个扫帚星这就是原因
Because...
因为
That's who I am. That's my role.
我天生是一把好扫帚
You guys, you create fun, and I destroy it.
你们创造的乐趣会被我扫个一干二净
Of course a silly little joke ends with a-- a dead body on the lawn.
一个白♥痴♥玩笑当然会以尸体躺在草坪上收场
I should have known that. But I wanted to do it anyway,
我应该知道这点可我就是执迷不悟
'cause I wanted to be like you. I wanted to be funny.
因为我希望自己像你们这样我想变成有趣的人
Knock knock!
咚咚
Who's there?
谁啊
Cancer!
癌症
Oh, good! Come on in!
太好了进来吧
I thought it was Britta!
不是布雷塔就行
Well... Britta...
布雷塔
I actually want to be taken more seriously.
其实我只是想在别人眼中更是那么回事儿
The only reason I slammed Jeff's head against the table
我把杰夫的脑袋撞到桌子上的原因就是
was because I wanted to feel like an adult.
我想当个成年人
Like Shirley!
像雪瑞一样的成年人
And I wanted to feel younger, like Annie.
而我只是希望感觉还和安妮一样年轻
You know, it's not that I'm really old,
并不说我有多老
'cause people don't know how young I really am.
只是人们不知道其实我还很年轻
See, I'm doing it again.
我又来了
I hate that I obsess about my age.
我讨厌自己为年龄而纠结
I know!
我明白
I wish I was really magic.
我希望自己真的有魔法
You know you're not?
你知道自己没有吗
Yeah.
当然
Somebody must have sent these robes by accident.
这袍子肯定是阴差阳错下才寄给我的
I only pretended I was level six
我假装自己有六级巫师水平
to impress you guys.
让你们觉得我很厉害
I got held back!
我不能再自欺欺人了
I don't even deserve this buddhist meteor wand.
我不配拥有这根教主级的流星魔杖
It's not a meteor!
这不是流星魔杖
It's a cookie wand!
这是饼干杖
Me and Jeff made it
我和杰夫做的
because it made you look more like the cookie crisp wizard.
这让你看起来更像是曲奇饼干包装袋上的巫师
Which is not even a reference I get
其实这笑点我根本就没整明白
because the cookie crisp mascot
因为曲奇饼干的吉祥物
wasn't a wizard when I was a kid.
在我小时候根本就不是巫师
It was a burglar.
我记得他是个夜贼
I just... pretended like I knew
我只是假装自己明白了笑点
because I wanted Jeff to think I was smart.
因为我希望杰夫认为我是个聪明仔
Great, I did again!
老天我又闯祸了
I killed the buzz.
快乐被我一扫而光
Look, um...
听着
Maybe... maybe "buzz kill"
也许也许用扫帚星
is a bad choice of words.
来形容你不对
What's a good choice of words?
那对的形容词是什么
Look, I don't know-- um, uh...
我也不知道
You're-- you're--
你是你是
You're like the dark cloud that unites us.
你是让我们躲到同一屋檐下的乌云
Or the anti-Winger.
抗翁格素
Uh...look, you're-- you're--
听着你是你是
You're the heart of this group.
你是这小组的心脏
Uh, look, I don't, um...
我不会...
I don't have a real handle on all this mushy stuff.
我不会处理这些细腻的情绪问题
If I did, then we wouldn't need you.
如果我能行大家就不会需要你了
Britta!
布雷塔
Get over here. Really?
过来一起哭真的吗
Yes! Yeah! Come over here!
过来快过来
Let's never let Jeff divide us again.
永远不要让杰夫离间我们
Hey, Abed...
阿布蒂
Why are you and I the only sane--
为什么只有我们两个是明白人
Shh! Just watch.
别出声好好欣赏
It's beautiful.
多么动人的画面
Troy, do you want a bite of my wand?
特洛伊要不要咬口我的魔杖
I do.
要
We really appreciate you're doing this. Sure.
很感谢你来捧场小事
And three two one.
准备三二一
Troy and Abed in the mornin'!
特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间报道
And we're back. Look who's here.
欢迎收看看看我们今天请到谁了
Jeff Winger.
杰夫·翁格
Jeff, how do you stay so fit?
杰夫你如何保持这么好的身材
Uh, diet, exercise, genetics.
注意饮食运动遗传基因优良
Sure, sure.
当然当然
Okay, so it seems as though we have a clip.
好的为大家送上小片段
You want to set it up for us?
你愿意为大家播放吗
Uh, I'd like to,
愿意效劳
But I don't know what you're talking about.
但我不明白你们说的是什么
Okay, we'll just roll it.
好的让我们来看片段
Ooh, my name's Jeff Winger.
我是杰夫·翁格
Hey, I'm Jeff Winger.
我是杰夫·翁格
I'm so tall.
我很高大
Ah, this watch is expensive.
这只表很贵
Muscles are everywhere. Oh, that was really funny.
我是肌肉男这个真逗
You guys, what's going on? Where are the cameras?
兄弟到底怎么回事摄像机在哪儿
Oh, we're not filming this.
我们没在拍啊
No, who'd want to watch this?
谁会看这个啊
Guys, it's 6:00 a.m. Jeez!
老天爷现在可是清晨六点
We're not gonna have him back.
他不会回来了
Troy and Abed in the mor No!
特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间... 闭嘴