废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E01

Part 4 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:24 p.m.

your people lost the colonies.
英国佬失去美国殖民地的原因
Have a nice disbarment hearing.
取消律师资格听证会愉快
What am I supposed to drive?
那我开什么
Why don't you take this car? It's good for the earth.
你为何不开我这辆可环保呢
Yeah, so is wiping your butt with a leaf,
用树叶擦屁♥股♥也环保啊
but it's not how a man gets around!
但人哪能这么混
A golf kart!
车烂得跟高尔夫车一样
It is a disaster in there.
里面完全是场灾难
Yeah, untutorable.
是的朽木不可雕
You like Thai food? I love Thai food.
你喜欢泰国料理吗我非常爱吃
Wait, so this is a game to you?
等等这是你的计策吗
You put human beings into a state
你煽动得群情激昂
of emotional shambles for a shot at getting in my pants?
乱成一片就是为了有机会上我吗
Why can't you see that for the compliment that it is?
你为什么不觉得我这么折腾是对你的恭维呢
Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry.
好好我很抱歉
It was an accident.
这是个意外
I did a little bit of lying to get close to you.
我撒了点小谎是为了接近你
But how was I supposed to know that you were smart and cool.
但我怎么知道你既聪明又潇洒
I mean, you look like Elisabeth Shue.
你长得很像伊丽莎白·苏[苏早期角色多为花瓶类型]
You're unbelievable. What do you want me to do?
你真是荒谬至极你想要我做什么
Oh, maybe one decent thing could be
去做件像样儿的事吧
to go in there and clean up your mess.
进去收拾你的烂摊子
Okay, I am the Barack Obama of this room.
听着我就是这屋里的巴拉克·奥巴马总统
Okay, if I do that, then dinner, right?
好吧如果搞定了就陪我吃晚餐好吗
Yeah, fine, whatever.
好随你的便
As if there's a dinner on earth that could
难不成这世上有晚餐能让我吃了
make me forget you are a shallow douchebag.
就能忘记你是个肤浅的人♥渣♥
Oh, you're gonna eat those words when you see my new car.
当你看见我的新车时就乖乖把这话收回吧
All right, everybody!
好了各位
I want to say something.
我有些话要说
Sit down.
坐下
You don't have to yell. I don't appreciate your tone.
你没必要大喊大叫这语气我可不喜欢
You know what makes humans different from other animals?
你们知道人与动物的区别吗
Feet.
脚丫子
No, no, no, come on. Bears have feet.
不不不熊也有熊掌
We're the only species on earth
我们是地球上唯一观看《探索频道》
that observes Shark Week.
《鲨鱼周》的特种
Sharks don't even observe Shark Week,
鲨鱼都不看《鲨鱼周》
but we do.
可我们看
For the same reason I can pick up this pencil,
同样的道理我可以拿起这支铅笔
tell you it's name is Steve, and go like this.
告诉你他叫斯蒂文然后这样做
And part of you dies just a little bit on the inside,
你们的内心深处也有部分随它而去
because people can connect with anything.
因为人类与万事万物都有联♥系♥
We can sympathize with a pencil.
我们可以怜悯一支铅笔
We can forgive a shark.
我们可以原谅鲨鱼
And we can give Ben Affleck
我们也可以给本·阿弗莱克
an Academy Award for screenwriting.
颁奥斯卡最佳原创剧本奖
Big mistake. He's got a point.
咋颁给他了他说的没错
People can find the good
人可以发现万事万物的优点
in just about anything but themselves.
唯独看不到自身的长处
Look at me.
就说我吧
It's clear to all of you that I am awesome,
对于你们来说我是明摆着很厉害
but I can never admit that,
但我绝不会承认
because that would make me an ass.
那会显得我太自负狂妄
But what I can do is see what makes Annie awesome.
我能做的就是发现安妮的过人之处
She's driven.
她纯洁无暇
We need driven people or the lights go out
这个世界需要纯洁无暇否则就暗无天日
and the ice cream melts.
冰淇淋也要融化了
And Pierce.
还有皮尔斯
We need guys like Pierce.
我们需要像皮尔斯这样的人
This guy has wisdom to offer.
他能够出谋划策
The Dalai Lama and I--
达♥赖♥喇♥嘛♥和我
We should listen to him sometime.
有时我们应该听他说说
We wouldn't regret it.
我们不会后悔的
And Shirley.
还有雪莉
Shirley has earned our respect,
雪莉已经得到了我们的尊重
not as a wife, not as a mother,
不是作为一个妻子一个母亲
but as a woman.
而是作为一个女人
And don't test her on that,
请别向她求证这点
because that thing about the jukebox
显然那个点唱机说的很具体很顺口
was way too specific to be improvised.
一点也不像是没经验临场发挥出来的
And Troy.
还有特洛伊
Who cares if Troy thinks he's all that?
谁在乎特洛伊觉得自己是世界第一
Maybe he is.
也许他是呢
You think astronauts go to the moon
你们以为宇航员跑去月球
because he hate the oxygen?
是因为讨厌氧气吗
No, they are trying to impress
不他们是想回敬说
their high school prom king.
"高中毕业舞会之王我们也不差吧"
And Abed.
还有阿布蒂
Abed's a shaman.
阿布蒂是个善良巫师
You ask him to pass the salt,
你让他把盐递给你
he gives you a bowl of soup, because you know what?
他会给你一碗汤知道为什么吗
Soup is better.
汤更可口
Abed is better.
阿布蒂更有情
You are all better than you think you are.
你们都比自己认为的棒多了
You are just designed not to believe it
你们只是在听到自我否定的声音后
when you hear it from yourself.
就故意否定自我的优点
Soup?
汤
I want you to look to the person to your left.
我希望在座每位都看着自己左边的人
Sorry.
抱歉
Look at the person sitting next to you.
看着坐你旁边的人
Look at her? Okay.
看着她好的
This? Yeah.
这个对
I want you to extend to that person
我希望各位将对鲨鱼铅笔
the same compassion that you extend
本·阿弗莱克的怜悯之情
the sharks, pencils, and Ben Affleck.
也施与此人身上
I want you to say to that person,
我希望你对这个人说
"I forgive you."
我原谅你
I forgive you. I forgive you.
我原谅你我原谅你
I forgive you. You little twerp.
我原谅你你个小笨蛋
Pierce, I'd like you to say, "I forgive you."
皮尔斯我想听你说我原谅你
He didn't say it?
他没说吗
I forgive you.
我原谅你
You've just stopped being a study group.
你们不再是一个学习小组了
You have become something unstoppable.
你们是一个不可战胜的集体
I hereby pronounce you a community.
在此我宣布 "联盟"诞生
Oh, that's nice.
真不错
I like that.
我喜欢
This isn't like "Breakfast Club" anymore.
这可不再像《早餐俱乐部》了
Now it's like "Stripes" or "Meatballs".
现在像《乌龙大头兵》或者《肉丸》
Anything with Bill Murray, really.
或是其他比尔·默里的非常棒的作品
I agree with Abed that tonight has been very special.
我同意阿布蒂这是个特别的夜晚
And now, if you'll excuse me,
现在我先告辞了
I have a dinner engagement with Britta.
我和布雷塔约好共进晚餐
Britta?
布雷塔
I lied.
我骗你的
Thanks for calming everyone down.
谢谢你把大家安抚下来
But since you're not a Spanish tutor,
但因为你不是西语家教
just a lying creep who purposely upset everyone
而只是个为了上到我就恶意挑拨离间
in an attempt to get with me,
的谎话精
I'd appreciate it if you left
所以如果你能离开这里
and stopped wasting all of our time.
不再浪费大家的时间我会非常感激
Everybody ready?
大家准备好了吗
Fine.
行啊
And I'm happy to report
我很高兴向大家宣布
that one of the benefits of being a lying creep
做谎话精的好处之一就是
is having all the answers to tomorrow's test.
拥有明天考试的所有答案
And I'm happy to share them with anyone
我很乐意与那些
whose time I've wasted more than
被我浪费的时间多于
they've wasted mine.
浪费我的时间的人分享