废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E19

Part 1 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:27 p.m.

I had to get up so early for my bus,
我今天为了赶公车起了个大早
I caught the tail end of what Cinemax gets up to at night.
"家庭院线"的午夜场都被我赶上个结尾
Subscription canceled.
我把"家庭院线"取消了
not stimulation.
不是为了暴♥力♥色情片
Wait, why are you taking the bus?
等等你为什么要坐公交车
What happened to your minivan?
你的车呢
My ex-husband needed it.
我前夫要用
The person he's dating works at a club.
他约会的对象在一家俱乐部上班
An hour from the city.
离市区有一小时的车程
Ah, well, I'll play a violin for them,
要不我去给他们拉上一曲小提琴
and maybe she can strip to it.
也许她可以踩着音乐大跳脱衣舞
Kind people are always kind, Britta,
做好人不能有选择性布雷塔
Not just when it's easy.
要随时随地当雷锋
As we stand once again upon the deadline
当我们又一次站在
to drop or add classes,
选课或退课的生死线上
I hereby present this semester's Jeff Winger pick
我现在宣布这学期杰夫·翁格推荐之选
for ultimate blow-off class:
终极减压课
Beginner pottery.
初级陶艺
I don't know-- your last "Blow-off" Class
这可说不准你上一个减压课
ended up teaching me to live in the moment,
结果变成了"活在当下"实践课
which I will always regret and never do again.
简直是我人生一大败笔
This one's different. I researched.
这个可不一样我调查过了
You don't even have to make a good pot.
你根本就不用去做个好陶器出来
You get an art credit for participation.
只要积极参与就会得个艺术学分
This class is like a redhead that drinks scotch
这堂课就像是爱喝威士忌
and loves "Die Hard".
爱看《虎胆龙威》的红发女郎
I suggest you all get her number.
我建议你们都挑这个容易上的上
Guess which class I signed up for.
猜猜我申请了哪门课
Sailing.
航海课
But the nearest body of water is 2 1/2 hours away.
但离咱最近的水域也要两个半钟头的车程
Leagues, Abed.
海里阿布蒂
We don't measure water by hours.
水上距离不用小时来计算
It's a one-week intensive
你会在一条真船上通过
that gives you hands-on experience on a real boat
一周的强化训练得到实践经验
right here in the parking lot.
船就在这儿的停车场里
I'd rather learn boats than pots.
比起陶艺我更喜欢这个
I was going to take a class on how to put together
我本来准备选另一门课的如何写好
an online dating profile,
网上交友的个人简介
but I think sailing in the parking lot is less pathetic.
但我想在停车场开船会显得没那么"饥渴"
A black person on a sailboat?
黑人开帆船
I gotta see this. I'm in.
我得看看去我加入
How 'bout you, Abed? Wanna sail with us?
你呢阿布蒂想跟我们一起航海吗
There's black people.
这里都是黑人哦
Mm-hmm, there's two.
有两个哦
All right.
不错
Hello, ladies. What are you guys making,
女士们好你们在做什么呢
big balls here?
大球吗
Oh, yeah. You guys getting dirty?
你们都把自己弄得脏兮兮的
What are you looking at?
你在看什么
Heh, all right.
很好
Who's making pots?
谁要做罐子啊
Let's participate this thing.
让我们一起参与进来吧
Ladies, I don't know why you're laughing.
女士们我不知道你们干嘛要笑
I really do want to make my mom an ashtray.
但是我真的想给我妈做个烟灰缸
Hello, my precious blueberries.
大家好我珍爱的小蓝莓们
Hello.
大家好
All right, let's spin those wheels and play.
好的让我们转动轮子开始玩吧
With some clay.
玩泥巴
Now there's one, and only one, rule in this class.
这门课有且只有一条规矩
I will tolerate no reenacting,
我不容许任何人
whether it's ironic or sincere,
不管是出于恶搞还是真心
of the Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore
重演帕特里克·斯威兹和黛米·摩尔
pottery scene in "Ghost".
在《人鬼情未了》中的那场做陶器的戏
Ever since that movie was released in 1990,
自从那电影于1990年上映以来
I have seen every conceivable variation
我见识了各种所能想到的版本
of what I call "Ghosting."
我把他们叫做"见鬼情未了"
This could be guy-on-girl, girl-on-guy...
有的是男抱女也有女抱男
The hilarious guy-on-guy.
还有令人捧腹的男抱男
So, since it never stopped,
所以鉴于这种事持续发生
I had to adopt a zero ghost tolerance policy.
我不得不对此采取杀无赦的政策
If you so much as hum three notes
如果你胆敢哪怕只哼出"正义兄弟"
with god is my witness, I will come at you.
我向天起誓我会宰了你
With everything I've got.
凶器不限
Okay?
明白了吗
Let's have a great time!
让我们玩个痛快吧
I'm making falafel.
我在做炸豆丸子
Not edible.
不过不能吃
What are you making?
你在做什么
A vase.
花瓶啊
Hey, guys. Yep?
伙计们啥
Look what I made.
看看我做的
Participant badge.
参与者徽章
Oh, god.
上帝啊
I don't know how.
我不知道怎么回事
I mean, I just--
我是说我只是
I stuck my hands into the clay
我把手插♥进♥陶土里
and it happened.
然后就成这个样子了
You look at me.
看着我
You have a gift.
你很有天赋
Jeff's competitive side had come out before.
杰夫以前也曾表现出其好胜的一面
He had even displayed envy.
他甚至曾经妒火中烧
But on that first day of pottery class, he discovered--
但是在陶艺课的第一天他发现
Abed. Yeah.
阿布蒂在
What did we discuss? No voiceover. Sorry.
咱们怎么说的不许旁白对不起
It is kind of a crutch.
这是我的精神寄托
I've never been on a boat before.
我以前从来没上过船
I didn't know what to wear.
我不知道该穿什么来
Yeah, it's intimidating.
是啊它让我们望而生畏
We're in Pierce's world now.
咱们现在到了皮尔斯的地盘了
He's got all the boat clothes.
他穿着全套的航海服
Look at him christen.
看看他的首航掷瓶仪式
That were me, I would have broken the bottle.
如果是我那瓶子早就破了
I'm Professor Slaughter.
我是斯劳特教授
Welcome aboard the S.S. Nose candy,
欢迎登上迷幻号♥
recently purchased through government auction.
这是最近通过政♥府♥拍卖♥♥购得的
Oh, that's nice.
挺好的
It's not nice-- it's your only weapon
一点也不好这是你对抗
against the raging sea.
汹涌波涛的唯一武器
You don't know how to use her, you're dead.
要是你不知道怎么使唤她你必死无疑
Together, you will work as one crew.
你们是一队船员要同心协力
You will succeed or fail as one crew.
要荣辱与共共同进退
You will consider this parking lot the ocean.
你们要将这个停车场想象成大海
Whatever you drop, you lose.
什么东西掉下船就算是没了
Mishandle the sails-- you capsize and die.
航行出错就会船倾人亡
Now, does little Miss Nice have a name?
现在这位挺好小姐叫什么名字
Sh-Shirley Bennett.
雪雪瑞·伯纳德
Well, now you're Captain Shirley Bennett.
好的现在你是雪瑞·伯纳德船长
Aw, man!
搞什么
You will follow her every order.
你要遵从她每一项命令
I've never been a captain before. I have.
我以前从没当过船长我当过
I commanded a jet ski through an electrical storm
我指挥着一辆水上摩托艇穿过了一场雷雨
and only had one casualty.
而且只有一人遇难
Jet skis only hold two people.
水上摩托艇只能坐两人
Exactly. Saved half the crew.
没错我救了一半的船员
Pottery's much cooler than I thought.
陶艺课比我想得酷多了
And harder!
也难多了
Well, except for that guy Rich.
对了除了那个叫里奇的家伙
He's, like, a natural. Yeah,
他就像出了娘胎就会做陶了是啊
I'm worried about the effect that it's having on Jeff, though.
我很担心这件事对杰夫产生了影响
Someone call a shrink. What?
某人咨♥询♥了心理医生啊扯什么呢