废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E07

Part 4 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

He's the only one who can help.
只有他能帮我
He says he's gonna kill himself,
他说他要自杀
but he doesn't want us to call 911,
但不让我们报♥警♥
because he doesn't want to get in trouble for taking drugs.
他不想因为吸毒惹祸上身
I can't believe I'm doing this.
真不敢相信我会这么做
I, uh...
我
I think I have to say goodnight.
我想该说晚安了
Are you, like, a court-appointed guardian for these people?
你是这些人的法定监护人吗
Uh, no.
不是
Um, they're my classmates.
他们是我的同学
Goodnight, Jeff.
晚安杰夫
Loser!
窝囊废
What in the Pink Floyd?
"平克·弗洛伊德"堡垒再现啊
I'm gonna crush myself to death with desks and tables, Jeff!
杰夫我要用这些书桌会议桌把自己活活压死
Is that a death befitting a Beastmaster?
这死法对于兽王来说体面么
I never saw Beastmaster.
我没看过《兽王伏魔》
I just wanted to be cool.
我只是想扮扮酷
I'm coming in there, Pierce.
皮尔斯我要进来了
Those floating Mexican skeletons were right.
那些飘着的墨西哥骷髅说的对
My life is over.
我的死期到了
Well, when we go to floating skeletons with our problems,
我们找飘浮的骷髅算命打卦时
we get what we pay for, don't we?
出什么价钱听什么话对不
I'm old, Jeff.
我老了杰夫
Pierce, I don't know how you spent the first 60 years,
皮尔斯我不知道你头六十年是怎么过的
but I know in the last two months
但我知道在过去的两个月
you've probably doubled the national average for
你或许过的比正常美国人
amount of life lived per lifetime.
两辈子的生活还要充实
Well, I do have a young, African-American friend.
我的确和一个年轻的非裔美国人做了朋友
Yeah.
是的
And, more importantly,
而且更重要的是
you're dressed like a gladiator
你一身角斗士打扮
in a desk fort that you built during a bad trip.
埋伏在自己于恐怖幻觉中建造的桌子堡垒里
If life is just a series of ridiculous attempts to be alive,
如果人生在世敢于荒唐不羁才算活着
you're a hero to everything that's ever lived.
那你绝对是迄今为止能喘气儿的当中最大的英雄
Yeah? Yeah.
是吗是的
Yeah.
好耶
Batman? Yeah.
蝙蝠侠? 正是在下
Are you staying for the party?
你会留下来参加派对吗
If I stay,
如果我留下来
there can be no party.
就不会有派对了
I must be out there in the night,
外面的黑暗世界是我的领地
staying vigilant.
保持戒备状态
Wherever a party needs to be saved,
哪里有派对需要守护
I'm there.
我就在哪里
Wherever there are masks,
有面具的地方
wherever there's tomfoolery and joy,
有犯傻和欢乐的地方
I'm there.
就有我的身影
But sometimes I'm not, 'cause I'm out in the night,
但我的身影有时无迹可寻漆黑的夜晚才是我的领地
staying vigilant, watching,
高度警惕留心观察
lurking, running, jumping,
偷偷埋伏跑跑跳跳
hurtling, sleeping...
急速前进躺下休息...
No, I can't sleep.
不我不能休息
You sleep. I'm awake.
你睡觉的时候我醒着
I don't sleep. I don't blink.
我不睡觉也不眨眼
Am I a bird? No.
我是鸟吗不是
I'm a bat.
我是一只蝙蝠
I am Batman.
我是蝙蝠侠
Or am I?
我真的是吗
Yes, I am Batman.
是的我是蝙蝠侠
Happy Halloween.
万圣节快乐
I'm Batman.
我是蝙蝠侠
You sound like a Cookie Monster.
听上去像饼干怪兽[幼儿节目《芝麻街》的人物]
I'm Batman. That's Batman.
我是蝙蝠侠这才是蝙蝠侠
Candy corn looks like tiny traffic cones.
玉米糖看起来像迷你交通路锥
Yeah, it sure does.
没错是很像
At, like, a candy traffic school.
就像有个糖果交通法规学♥习♥班♥
Like, a little gingerbread man, at the wheel,
有个姜饼人开着车
and he's drunk.
醉酒驾驶
Look out.
小心
You'd be driving,
一直开着车
but you keep wanting to eat yourself.
但就是忍♥不住想吃掉自己
All day.
想了一整天了
That's one of my biggest fears.
这是我最大的恐惧之一
What is?
什么
If I ever, like, woke up as a donut.
如果有天我醒来发现自己是甜甜圈
You would eat yourself?
你会吃掉自己?
I wouldn't even question it.
没有片刻迟疑地吃掉
Mm. That'd be tasty.
那一定好吃极了
It's cool to know other people
知道别人也在想这些事情
think about this stuff too.
我觉得太酷了
Yeah.
是啊
Yeah.
没错