废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E11

Part 3 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:25 p.m.

from "Harry Potter".
的邪恶之蛇
Trust me, I know girls I can converse with
我知道怎么选女伴我可以和比她
who are way more annoying.
更没品的女生交流
I will take "tinkles" over "we need to talk" every time.
我永远都会选"嘘嘘" 而不要"聊聊"
Hey, babe.
宝贝儿
Ready to show me that Lexus?
准备好展示你的雷克萨斯了吗
I thought you'd never ask.
我还以为你不会问了呢
Doreen,
多琳
it was very nice to meet you.
很高兴认识你
You can do better.
你可以选个更好的
Here.
给
Oh, they already left?
他们已经走了吗
What a couple of nincompoops!
真是一对傻子
Uh, before I buy dinner, I have to ask...
在请你吃饭之前我想问一下
Is there any lovemaking on the table?
今晚会有洞房♥花烛吗
We're through, Pierce.
我们吹了皮尔斯
I'm gonna go to the bar,
我现在要去吧台那边
and you can join me if you'd like.
如果你想的话可以和我一起
And we can still have a lovely evening,
想要洞房♥花烛也可以
but it will cost you 200 bucks.
只需200美金
That is a pretty big discount.
她可是给了我大折扣
I had no idea alcohol would make people horny.
我居然没料到酒精会使人如此饥渴
Makes me sleepy.
却让我昏昏欲睡
Dean. Yeah.
院长怎么了
We have a 597 currently going on in your office.
你的办公室发生了597号♥事件
A 597?
法规597号♥
There's a dog-fighting ring in my office?
居然有人在我的办公室里斗狗
Okay, I'm just gonna turn him around,
好了我把他转过去
and we're gonna cover him up.
然后把他遮好
Okay, ladies,
女士们
I am shocked at the reverse "Porky's"
对于今晚在这儿发生的偷♥窥♥事件
that has happened here tonight.
我感到非常震惊
I don't see what the big deal is.
这有什么值得大惊小怪的
Annie just needed to look at the model of the pe...
安妮只是想看看那个带"阴"的模型
Oh, okay, the "p" word has entered into play.
既然你说到了这个阴开头的词
That's exactly why I wanted Gail,
这正是我需要盖尔
our school counselor, here,
学校辅♥导♥员在这里的原因
and Monique, who's keeping record,
以及莫妮克记录我们的对话
to ensure we discuss these sensitive topics
以保证讨论这些敏感问题
in a legally appropriate manner.
是在合法且合适的方式下进行的
I think everyone should say penis,
我认为每个人都应该说出阴♥茎♥这个词
so we can take away the negative power of the word.
这样反而可以抵消这个词带来的负面影响
Yeah? So, everybody...
不是吗所以各位
Penis.
阴♥茎♥
She didn't say it.
她没说
Now, why did you break in to see the penis?
你们为什么要闯入我办公室来看阴♥茎♥
Wow, I really do feel
哇我现在说这词的时候
more comfortable saying that now, Gail.
感觉顺溜多了盖尔
I just want to focus on the girl
我只对这个女孩有兴趣
who won't say penis.
没有说出阴♥茎♥二字的女孩
This is a judgment-free zone,
这里没有任何歧视与偏见
so express yourself.
想说什么都行
You know what...
你知道吗
I don't want to express myself.
我不喜欢口无遮拦
I don't want to sit in a room full of people
我不想当着一屋子人的面
and say the "p" word.
说那个阴字开头的词
I like being repressed.
我就喜欢遮遮掩掩
I am totally comfortable being uncomfortable with my sexuality.
我完全自在于谈及性时的不自在
And maybe, just maybe,
也许只是也许
if everyone were a little bit more like me,
如果大家都能学学我这样
we wouldn't have to have an STD Fair.
我们连性传染病展会都可以省了
You go, girl! That's my pumpkin!
真有你的我的乖乖呀
By the way, now that I've gotten a good look at one,
顺便说下我已经仔细看过了
I don't see what all the fuss was about.
没什么值得大呼小叫的
A giant thumb in a turtleneck.
不就是个穿高翻领的巨型拇指嘛
Whoop-dee-doo!
没什么大不了
You have a really awesome body.
你的身材好诱人呐
You probably hear that all the time.
你可能总听到这样的夸奖
Not as much as I should.
还不及我应得的多
Oh... Professor...
噢教授
What?
什么
I'm not a professor.
我不是教授
But you're at Greendale... and you're old.
但是你在格林德尔啊还这么老
I'm a student.
我是个学生
Yikers.
被你雷到了
Yeah, it's pretty much yikers for me too.
是啊我也被雷到了
Well, I guess I can make an exception...
不过我可以通融一下
Professor.
教授
You know, uh...
等一下
Huh? I can't do this.
怎么我不能这么做
What?
什么
But this is your car.
但这是你的车啊
Keep it. But...
留着吧但是
Yes!
哦耶
How you like those apples?
赢你个落花流水
I don't like those apples.
我讨厌落花流水
I'm so upset.
我非常生气
It was just a fluke I won those other games.
看来我之前完全都是侥幸赢的
Troy!
特洛伊必胜
Wow, this may be the only STD Fair to actually spread STDs.
这可能是唯一传播性病的性传染病展会了
Shut up, Ben!
本闭上臭嘴
Condom water balloon fight!
安全套水球大战
What the hell?
咋回事
Dude, these are leaking.
老兄都漏了
Oh, my god.
老天呐
That's why you don't print things on condoms.
所以说不要往安全套上印字
Everyone's getting preggers, and it's all your fault.
学生们一夜大肚都是院长惹的祸
Oh, god
老天
Oh, man!
不要啊
Troy! All the condoms are faulty.
特洛伊所有的安全套都是破的
As the best athlete on campus,
作为本校最佳运动员
I need you to run to my office,
我要你立马冲去我办公室
and make an announcement before everyone leaves.
在大家离开之前发出通知
Dean, I am not the best athlete on campus.
院长我不是本校最佳运动员
Abed is.
阿布蒂才是
I know you let me win the race.
我知道你是故意放水让我跑赢的
But you didn't say anything.
可是你什么都没说
That's because... I wanted it to be true.
那是因为我在自欺欺人
You're a really good friend.
你真是我的挚友
No, Abed...
不阿布蒂
You are.
你才是
For the love of god, run! Okay.
偶的神呐还不快去遵命
Go, Abed, go,
冲啊阿布蒂冲
before people sex one another!
赶在大家兽♥性♥大发之前
There he is.
搭档来啦
Back already. Detail time?
这么快就回来了透露下细节呗
I stopped.
我没做
I don't know what's wrong with me.
不知道我是怎么了
I mean, she's hot.
她真的很正点
I think this place is sapping my life force.
我觉得这破地儿在消磨我的精力
Oh, it's not Greendale, Jeff, it's you.
杰夫不是格林德尔是你自己
You're becoming more mature.
你的思想越发成熟了
I mean, a man reaches a point in his life
你已经到了一个阶段
where he stops looking for a place to hang his underwear,
不再满脑子想着寻花问柳
and starts looking for a place to hang his hat.
而是正正经经做人了
Oh, I'm sorry, I was waiting for that
抱歉我以为你又要穿越到什么
to become inappropriate or racist.
另类的或者种族歧视话题上
What happened to Doreen?
和多琳怎么样了
Oh, uh, she said if I wanted to continue the night,
她说今晚还想要洞房♥花烛的话
I'd have to pay.
我就得先付钱