废柴联盟（2009）

Community S01E16

Part 3 Oct. 19, 2020, 1:26 p.m.

They're telling me I can name my price?
还说工资可以漫天要价
Oh, my god.
偶的神呐
At Princeton? Come on!
普林斯顿省省吧
You two idiots really thought I'd fall for this, huh?
你们两个白♥痴♥真以为我会信啊
This is your pathetic attempt to punish me
这种被我羞辱之后的报复方式
for humiliating you.
实在够悲剧的
But we didn't do it.
不是我们做的
Save it!
甭狡辩了
As punishment,
作为惩罚
because you two obviously don't have any girlfriends,
鉴于你们明显没有女朋友的事实
you will escort me to the valentine's dance
你们要穿着优雅女套装
wearing elegant ladies pantsuits.
到情人节舞会上陪伴我
Yeah, right.
想得美
You'll do it or you'll fail my class.
乖乖照做不然就等着挂科
You can't do that.
你不能这么做
Have you met me?
你不认识我是咋滴
I mean it.
我说一不二
Tonight, you are my bitches.
今晚你们就是我的砧上肉
Holy crap.
老天
Abed.
阿布蒂
Abed.
阿布蒂
It's 3:00.
都下午三点了
What happened?
发生了什么事
The last thing I remember is...
我就记得你
you were dancing like that girl
你就像那个电影里的女生
in that movie...
一样跳舞
Dear god. What have you done to me?
我的天你都对我做了什么
Wait. Did I call Britta?
等等我给布雷塔打电♥话♥了吗
Where's my phone?
我手♥机♥呢
Got it.
这儿呢
You made two outgoing calls.
你有两通已拨电♥话♥
One to Britta, one to your girlfriend.
一个打给布雷塔一个打给你女朋友
I don't remember either of them.
我一个都不记得了
Neither do I.
我也是
And I don't remember the name of the girl
我也不记得《早餐俱乐部》里
in the "Breakfast Club".
那个女生的名字了
Mary.
马莉
Margaret.
玛格利特
You broke me.
你把我给毁了
I still can't believe I'm a size 14.
还是不敢相信我要穿14号♥的
I know that 12's a little tight,
我知道12号♥是有一点紧
But I could have pulled it off.
但是还是塞得下的
Are you guys really going through with this?
你们真就这样任人摆布吗
We have to. He'll fail us.
情非得已不然就挂科了
Yeah, but we're gonna find out who wrote that letter.
不过我们一定会查出那封信是谁写的
We have leads.
我们有线索
It was written on fake Princeton letterhead.
信头的普林斯顿标记是假的
So whoever wrote it worked at Princeton,
所以写信人肯定在普林斯顿大学工作
ran out of stationary,
信纸用完了
Um, you guys
你们知道不
What?
什么
Women's sizes run slimmer.
女装尺寸普遍偏小
I'm sure you're a 12 everywhere that it counts.
普通12号♥的衣服你绝对能穿
Hmm. You look about ready to marry Courtney Love.
你看起来真像科特妮·洛芙的老公
That's the reverse of my zinger from before.
你还真是以牙还牙有仇必报啊
Okay, please stop shouting. All right.
麻烦小声点行不
Do you remember calling me last night?
你还记得昨晚打电♥话♥给我了吗
Yeah. Why?
记得啊怎么啦
Are we cool?
我们没事了吧
Oh, yeah.
那确实
Have a seat, drunky brewster. Let's study.
坐着吧醉汉开始学习吧
Balance restored, I guess.
看来平衡关系恢复了
Hey, there.
晚上好啊
Happy Valentine's Day.
情人节快乐
I've been calling you.
我一直打电♥话♥给你
Yeah, I know.
我知道
I figured I'd just let it go to voice mail
我觉得还是转语♥音♥信箱的好
in case you had the wrong number again.
省得你又打错电♥话♥到我手♥机♥上
Elaborate?
说详细点
Oh, you don't remember calling me at 4:00 in the morning
你记不记得曾在凌晨四点打电♥话♥给我
and hanging up when you realized I wasn't Britta?
结果发现我不是布雷塔就挂掉了
I guess not.
我猜你是不记得了
Michelle.
蜜雪儿
Michelle, um...
蜜雪儿
I was trying to call Britain to order you toffees.
我本来是打去英国帮你订太妃糖的
Now that may sound dumb,
这听起来很傻
But I needed to open with it
但是我还是要傻话实说
to make the truth less ridiculous.
这样接下来的真♥相♥才不至于更荒唐
Two nights ago, Britta drunk dialed me
前天晚上布雷塔喝醉了打电♥话♥给我
and it embarrassed her and made her sad.
事情有点尴尬她情绪很低落
And the only way for her to get her power back
唯一让她开心起来的办法
was for me to get believably drunk
就是让我喝的够醉
and leave her an equally embarrassing message.
然后给她一条同样尴尬的留言
It sure seems like you and Britta are friends
听起来你跟布雷塔的朋友关系
the way my mom's pool cleaner was my uncle.
就像我妈跟泳池清洁工的关系一样"纯洁"
Have you had sex with her? Not even a little.
你跟她上过床了吗小手都没牵过
What doesn't make sense is that you did
最离谱的就是你做的这一切
all this work to put a smile on her face,
只是为了博她一笑
But you can't pick up ice cream for "Law & Order" night
但看《法律与秩序》时你连冰淇淋都不愿买♥♥
because it feels too marriage-y.
因为那样太像两口子了
I mean, could you pick a scarier flavor?
这口味也太恐怖了
Let's talk about this later.
这个我们待会儿再说
I need to chaperone... something.
我要去做舞场监督了
There he is.
他在那儿呢
I thought I'd be embarrassed, now I'm just scared.
我原来觉得会很尴尬现在完全被吓到了
I'm seriously reconsidering how much I want this language credit.
我在考虑我到底有多想要这个语言学分
Remember what we said.
别忘了我们说的
Never let him see us cry.
眼泪流下来也要往肚里咽
Right. Okay.
没错来吧
One, two--
一二
Wait! Keep your coats on.
等等别脱外套
We're the ones that sent the letter to Chang.
信是我们寄给昌老师的
What?
什么
You work-- you work at Princeton?
你们在普林斯顿大学工作
We were mad at him for humiliating you.
我们是为他羞辱你们的事打抱不平
Well, nice fix,
干的还真不错
Look. we're gonna tell Chang the truth.
我们会告诉昌老师实情的
And we'll pay the price.
后果我们来承担
Wait.
等等
We-- we can't make you do that.
不能让你们就这么去
No, he's right.
他说的没错
First we gotta get out of these pantsuits
我们得先把衣服脱了
and you can put them on.
你们穿上再去
Look, Pierce, this whole thing started
皮尔斯事情的起因是
because you and I were ashamed that
我们俩觉得没有女人关心我们
we didn't have ladies that cared about us.
面子上过不去
And the good news is, we obviously do.
不过好在有人关心我们呢
The bad news is...
不好的就是
that it makes it our manly duty
作为男人今晚我们有责任
to protect them tonight.
保护她们
Oh, that's nice.
我感动的眼泪哗哗的
But we really can't let you do that. It's--
但是我们不能让你们这么做
No, he's right. He's right.
他说的没错
Step aside.
退后
Let's handle this like men. Yes.
咱爷们儿一点把这事解决了好
Oh, ladies...
女士们
They're gonna be okay, right?
他们会没事的吧
Get in my Mercedes.
让我带你们好好"奔驰"一把
Just look away, baby.
亲爱的别看
Just look away.
别看了