大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S05E10

Part 1 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:27 a.m.

Shit!
靠
Bitch, it's 10:04!
贱♥人♥ 已经10点04分了
I overslept! I packed my alarm!
我睡过头了我把闹钟也装行李箱了
I'll change so fast!
我马上换衣
No bra! Save time!
别穿胸罩节约时间
It's 10:44. Okay, we got this.
10点44了我们可以的
I am not letting you miss your last NYCBEC, bitch!
我不会让你错过你最后一次吃纽约培蛋奶三明治贱♥人♥
I think we might get it, dude!
我觉得我们有希望赶到
Oh, Jesus Christ.
老天
Okay. Come on, sister.
快起来姐妹
Come on. We don't got time!
快我们没时间了
Ma'ams, children are dying!
女士们儿童在死亡
Ilana, cat pass!
阿♥拉♥娜学猫过人
They're starving! They're so hungry!
他们挨饿他们饥肠辘辘
You need to feed them!
你得给他们食物
From the moment they're born, they're dying!
他们从出生那刻就在死亡
This isn't the end!
这不是结束
Get us!
来抓我们啊
We're almost there. We're so close. Yes.
就快到了快了是的
Get ready for the best bacon, egg, and cheese
准备好享用纽约最棒的
in New York City.
培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治
What?
什么
Oh, no!
不
I can't believe that the bodega
不敢相信有着
with the best bacon, egg, and cheese is literally gone.
最好吃的培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治的杂货店没了
Okay, it's okay.
没事没事
We're gonna get one right now and forget that ever happened
我们现在就去买♥♥ 然后在吃痛苦的培根鸡蛋奶酪
when we're taking painful bacon, egg, and cheese shits later, okay?
三明治的时候当刚才的事没发生过好吗
Oh, I can't wait. Come on.
我等不及了来吧
You're listening to Hot 97.
你现在收听的是Hot97电台
Ugh, the sign. Let's lay on the charm.
看那标语我们用美人计
My goodness.
天呐
So much on the menu that looks delicious.
菜单上有好多美味的东西
Yeah. What do we get?
是啊我们吃什么呢
I know it's "wate,"
我知道现在是"睡觉时间"
but I really would like some "bweakfast" food.
但我真的很想吃"爪餐"
Hey, hunky boy.
帅哥
Hi. Hi.
嗨嗨
Can we get two bacon, egg, and cheeses?
我们能要两份培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治吗
Nope. No eggs after 11:00.
不行 11点后不供应鸡蛋
You know what?
知道吗
This is this angel's final breakfast in New York City. Yeah.
这是这位天使在纽约的最后一顿早餐嗯
Before she goes and rebuilds homes
然后她就要去给海啸的
for Christian tsunami victims.
基♥督♥教受害者重建家园
Okay, that's not true.
没有的事
And you are gonna deny her this?
而你要将她拒之门外
You are gonna deny her this Make-A-Wish?
不满足她的心愿
For shame.
可耻
Shame!
可耻
Shame!
可耻
I'm just gonna leave some money.
我留点钱
That was inappropriate.
刚才太不得体了
I feel better. Let's go.
我感觉好多了走吧
This is gonna be delish. We got this.
会很可口的没问题
We got this. Jesus Christ.
没问题老天
Oh, no, no. We're not doing this.
不不我们不在这儿吃
I can't believe we couldn't find you
不敢相信我们没法
one last bacon, egg, and cheese before you go.
在你走前让你最后吃到一次培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治
I failed you.
我辜负了你
No, you didn't, dude.
不你没有
And also, maybe I, like, can buy the ingredients.
还有或许我可以买♥♥原料
We could FaceTime while I make it in Boulder.
我在波尔德一边做一边和你视频
Oh, God.
天
It's not the bacon, egg, and cheese. It's just --
不是培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治只是
Oh, God! Why the fuck would you go to Boulder?
天为什么你要去波尔德
I mean, well, mainly for the residency program.
主要是为了艺术家入驻项目
Yeah, yeah, residency, but --
嗯嗯入驻项目可是
but what the fuck is the culture there? Rocks?
那边有什么文化石头吗
What could you possibly find at Boulder?
你能在波尔德发现什么
What does Colorado have to offer that New York City doesn't?
什么东西科罗拉多有而纽约没有
Well, for one, recreational weed.
首先娱乐性大♥麻♥
Right.
对哦
Yeah, but you're gonna come so soon.
是但你很快就可以来
Oh, my God!
我的天
I told you you can come whenever you want.
我跟你说了你可以随时过来
No, look.
不你看
It is. It is!
真的是真的是
New York City, you've done it again!
纽约啊你又给我惊喜
Abbi, this is a Wa-Unchi toilet.
艾比这是Wa-Unchi马桶
Don't you see?
你看不到吗
We thought we were on some classic
我们以为今天会像往常一样
Abbi and Ilana New York City journey today.
就是艾比和阿♥拉♥娜在纽约街头闲逛
We thought it was for the bacon, egg, and cheese. Yeah.
我们以为是为了培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治嗯
When, in fact, this was our mission all along.
而实际上这才是我们今天的任务
Okay.
好吧
Okay, but -- so -- so, what is exactly the new mission now?
嗯所以我们的新任务是什么
This toilet. We're gonna bring it back to my house.
这个马桶我们要把它带回我家
Are you...sure?
你确定吗
Abbi, this is a Wa-Unchi.
艾比这是Wa-Unchi
It's an intelligent toilet with an UV light
这是一款智能马桶它的紫外线
that breaks down the germs of fecal matter in the bowl.
可以杀死马桶里粪便的细菌
It has a heated seat and warm water that sprays in your ass
有加热座圈你大便完后
after you take a dump just like a bidet.
有温水喷洒你的屁♥股♥ 就像净身盆一样
God, every time you are sprayed, you are reborn.
天每一次被喷就等于是重生
Okay, Ilana, this is someone else's.
阿♥拉♥娜这是别人的
This is gross. Just don't touch it so much.
好恶心别一直摸
Abbi, this was our tiny little mission for the day.
艾比这是我们今天的小任务
Come on. It's a $10,000 toilet.
拜托价值一万的马桶
I need this.
我需要它
Yeah, okay, yeah.
好吧
Let's -- you know what? Let's take the toilet home!
我们我们把马桶带回家
You won't regret it, mister!
你不会后悔的先生
I'll get a cab. Okay.
我去拦出租车好
Yeah, hey, yes.
这里对
Okay. Tilt.
好的倾斜
I'll do this.
我这样
Legs. Legs.
腿腿
Step.
迈步
You dick!
垃圾
Toilet discrimination. Okay, um...
歧视马桶好吧
Okay.
好的
Jesus. Uber is surging 60 times the normal rate.
天优步现在比正常价溢价了60倍
Okay, I'll -- I'll just call us a Lyft.
好那我叫个来福车
Woof, my rating is very low.
我的评分很低
Probably from the pee incident.
多半是因为那次撒尿事故
Again, sorry about that.
再次抱歉
Totally fine. All right.
没事嗯
How are we gonna get this toilet back to Brooklyn?
我们要怎么把这马桶带回布鲁克林
We're gonna walk it across the bridge?
我们带着它走过桥
That's right.
没错
Kids are suckers, man.
小孩太傻了
70 bucks for an old skateboard?
70块买♥♥一个二手滑板
Too easy.
太容易了
I can't believe we've never
不敢相信我们从没
walked across the Brooklyn Bridge together.
一起走过布鲁克林大桥
Yeah, it's kind of nuts that we managed to do it individually.
是啊我们竟然都单独走过
I mean, we're almost always together.
我们可是几乎形影不离
Ilana, I'm really proud of you, dude.
阿♥拉♥娜我很为你骄傲
I mean, obviously, for going back to school
为你回到学校感到骄傲
to become the most badass therapist new York City has ever seen,
成为纽约史上最厉害的心理医生