大小谎言

快了 刚看完一处
Maybe. Just saw one.
这就好 很好
Good, good, good.
你认识蕾娜塔·克莱恩吧
You know Renata Klein?
-我们见... -不认识
- We do-- - I don't believe I do.
我们在葬礼上见过 请节哀顺变
We-- We did meet. At the funeral. I'm so sorry.
-我是佩里的朋友 -你当时也在场
- I was a friend of Perry's. - You were there.
他失足摔下时
When he fell.
我在场 这事太不幸了
I was. That was... devastating.
抱歉打扰你们了
So sorry to interrupt.
-我... -走吧 我们走吧
- I-- - Come on. Let's get out of here.
-这是什么套路 -不知道 她就是个奇葩
- What-- What-- What the fuck is that? - I don't know. She's very strange.
简
Jane.
天呐 你怎么过来了
My God! What are you doing here?
-我跑步呢 -你最近好吗
- Just going for a run. - How are you?
-很好 你呢 -很好
- I'm good. How are you? - I'm good.
天呐 真有意思
My gosh, that's so funny.
科里正教齐格冲浪呢
Ziggy's learning to surf. Corey's teaching him.
你们俩开始认真了啊
This is getting kinda serious, huh?
没有 我跟齐格提起了他
No, no-- Told Ziggy about him
跟他说 他在教我冲浪
and told him that he was teaching me to surf,
所以他自然想学了
so of course, he wanted to learn.
好吧
Yeah.
嗯
Yeah.
他那晚倒是想要亲我来着
He did try to kiss me the other night, though.
-然后呢 -气氛相当尴尬
- And? - It was... extremely awkward.
怎么说呢 我的身体自然排斥了
I don't know. My body just shut down.
他了解你的过去吗
Does he know about your history?
还没说
Not yet.
你该告诉他
You should talk to him.
我不知道自己准没准备好
I don't know if I'm ready for that.
你要谈一段正式的恋爱
Look, any real relationship you're gonna have,
你想认真交往
if you wanna have one...
他必须得了解你
he's gotta know who you are, right?
也是
Yeah. I guess that's true.
怎么了
What?
我真双标
I'm such a hypocrite.
内森都不了解我
Nathan has no idea who I am.
天呐 齐格 冲啊 宝贝
My God! Go, Ziggy! Go, baby, yes!
站起来 站起来 你学会了
Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! You're doing it!
你给我关掉
Turn that shit off.
三件事
Three things:
一 我们要给艾玛贝拉办一个生日宴
one, we're throwing Amabella a birthday party,
不管花多少钱
and I'm sparing no cost.
她不开心
She's unhappy.
第二 我跟尼派尔大吵了一架
Two, I had it out with Nippal.
我得重回学校
I've gotta go back to the school.
他们想聊全球变暖和世界末日的事
They wanna talk about climate change and the end of the world,
但如果真世界末日了
which actually, if it comes,
对我们来说 真是一种解脱
it might be a sweet relief.
真是解脱
Damn right.
第三 把你这些破玩具都卖♥♥掉
And three, sell your fucking toys.
问题不只是我
It's not just me, you know.
-你说什么 -让艾玛贝拉产生焦虑
- Excuse me? - Putting stress on Amabella.
我的事当然火上浇油了 但...
I mean, what I did didn't help, of course, but--
-我怎么了 -你说呢
- What did I do? - You tell me.
我们初识那会儿
I mean, when I first met you, you--
你是个"铁壁女" 无法靠近
you had your guardrails up to your earlobes.
-别扯了 -走入你心里
- Please. - Penetrating you was like--
就像打通铜墙铁壁一般
It was like piercing a cement wall.
我花了一些时间 但最终还是虏获芳心了
It took some time, but I eventually chipped through, you know.
而过去12个月左右吧
Well, guess what? The last, I don't know, 12 months or so,
你又竖起心墙了
the guardrails are back up.
你人在这里 看似把一切打理得井井有条
Fuck, I mean you are here, you're there, you're everywhere,
但你的魂早就不知哪去了 我能感觉到
but you are never present, and I feel it.
艾玛贝拉也感觉到了
And Amabella feels it.
-她这么说的吗 -我这么说
- Did she say that? - I'm saying it.
你老公这么说的
Your husband is saying it.
你心里有事
There is something going on with you.
确实有事
Correct.
我老公让我们倾家荡产了
My husband put us in the poorhouse.
把这些都给我卖♥♥了
Sell your shit.
首先 感谢各位前来
First off, thank you all for coming to
参加绚烂多彩的水獭湾小学家长会
a special evening assembly at our wonderful, wonderful Otter Bay,
还特别感谢那些
and a special thanks to those parents
百忙之中抽出时间
who took special time out of their busy lives
私下直接来找我聊重要问题的家长们
to reach out to me directly about this important issue,
谢谢你们
so thank you.
不客气
You're welcome. Yeah.
我们都知道 焦虑正席卷整个校园
Now, as we all know, anxiety is an epidemic in our schools.
不是吧 学生们焦虑还不是因为老师告诉...
Really? It wouldn't be if you weren't teaching them...
好 大家都冷静
All right, let's take a breath, everybody,
我们都理性一点 着力解决问题
and let's try and keep this constructive, shall we?
全球变暖问题以及对学生们的影响
Climate change and the toll that it takes on our students,
是个复杂的问题
it is a complicated matter, okay?
所以我们才特设了本次金钟奖级别家长会
That is why we called this ad hoc Golden Bell Award-winning assembly:
因为不仅是我们发言
because not only will you hear from me,
家长们也可以发言
we would love to hear from you. The parents.
别着急
Okay, hold up.
我们已经表达过自己的想法了
We've already told you how we feel about it.
这不是我希望的场面
This is not how I want this to go.
各位 都请坐下
Everybody, please sit down--
都闭嘴
Shut up!
不是吧 你真冲我们发火 让我们闭嘴
Really? Are you seriously telling us to shut up?
亲爱的梅德琳·麦肯齐
Madeline Mackenzie. Lovely.
既然你开口了
Okay, since you've taken this opportunity to speak up,
那你就先发言吧
let us first hear from you.
你能上来一下吗 梅德琳
Would you like to come up here please, Madeline?
为什么是我
Why-- Why me?
因为你是大家的指明灯 梅德琳
Because you're a beacon among us, Madeline.
-上来吧 -行 不 我可以
- Now, please, come up here. - Fine. No, no, I'm fine.
谢谢
Thank you.
记得告诉大家 我女儿都因此昏倒了
And make sure they know my daughter was in a coma.
好 行 我的天
Okay. Okay, yeah. Jesus.
掌声有请梅德琳·麦肯齐
Madeline Mackenzie, everyone. Please.
说出你的想法吧
Just share your thoughts.
从何说起啊
I mean, where do we even begin?
老实说 一切都乱套了
Honestly? About everything?
尼派尔校长 你说得对
I mean, Principal Nippal, you have a very good point.
全球变暖问题很重要 真的很重要
Climate change is important. It's important.
但是跟二年级孩子讲这种事 太过分了吧
But it's also a lot to load up on a lot of second graders.
-恕我直言 -多谢讲了句公道话
- I'm sorry. - Thank you. Yes.
世界可能就要完蛋了
That the whole world might go kapooey.
有必要告诉孩子们吗
They need to know that?
我觉得问题之一是
You know, I think part of the problem is...
我们欺骗孩子们
we lie to our kids.
我们向孩子们灌输"圣诞老人"
We fill their heads full of Santa Claus
以及幸福的童话结局
and stories with happy endings,
而大多数人都知道 故事多以悲剧收场
when most of us know most endings to most stories fucking suck.
对吧 都别装了
Right? Let's just get real.
世上哪有那么多幸福的童话结局啊
There aren't a lot of happy endings for a lot of people, you know.
不管是全球变暖问题 还是校园枪击事件
Be it climate change, be it guns in schools.
孩子们生活在恐惧中 害怕上学
And our kids are afraid. They're afraid to go to school.
他们害怕中枪
They're afraid they're gonna get shot.
我们不给孩子做好思想准备
We don't prepare them.
我们给孩子们灌输各种梦幻的童话与谎言
We fill their heads full of happy endings and happy stories and lies.
我们告诉孩子们
And-- And we tell them things like,
"你没事 你不会有事"
"You're fine. You're gonna be fine,"
我们告诉自己
And we tell ourselves--
我们跟自己说 我们会没事
we tell ourselves we're gonna be fine.
但事实并非如此
But we're not.