重返赛场（2013）

Back in the Game S01E03

Part 1 Jan. 6, 2021, 3:35 p.m.

重返
赛场
第一季第三集
记得用屁♥股♥滑铲膝盖弯曲手抬高
Slide on your butt, front knee bent, hands up.
这样我们教你突袭时你就可以起来
And so when we teach you to pop up, you can come up,
刚好用胳膊肘揍到别人的嘴巴了知道吗
hit him right in the mouth with a good elbow, all right?
不不是这么做是为了保护你们的手
No, no. It's to protect your hand.
我也想要一架
I want to have one.
大家看这里我们开始了
Hey! Hey! Heads out of your butts. Let's go.
大家听好这项运动需要大家坚定并且专心
Come on, man. This game is about commitment and focus.
坚定你们知道谁最坚定吗
Committed! You know who's committed?
中国人他们最坚定了
The Chinese. They're committed.
有一天他们会
And one day, they're gonna come
尖叫着冲上圣莫尼卡的海滩
screaming up that beach in Santa Monica,
把你们的头都砍下来
and they're gonna lop your heads off
然后装在外带盒子里寄给你们母亲
and send them to your mothers in a little white to-go box!
知道了吧我们去练习滑垒
Right? Now, let's go sliding.
现在穿上钉鞋
And for now, come in spikes high!
开始吧
Come on!
救命救命啊
Help! Help! Ow!
好不错
All right. Good stuff.
什么刚才那也能叫不错吗
What? That was good stuff?
简直就是丢人
It's a disgrace.
泰德·威廉姆斯都能被你们气得从坟里爬出来
Ted Williams' head would roll over in its freezer.
已故著名棒球运动员
黑鹰看来坠落了
Black hawk is going down.
今天他是吃错药了吧
Wow. He is in rare form today.
他为什么一直对我们这么生气
Why has he been so mad at us for the past week?
没见过这么小气刻薄的
This is a whole new level of mean.
看到他头上的青筋我就想竖中指
His forehead veins were giving me the finger.
我妈妈走的时候爸爸就是那么生气
My dad gets mad like that when my mom's away.
我哥哥说那是因为他太压抑了
My brother says it's because he's pent up.
压抑是什么意思
What's pent up?
就是他有需要
When he needs to get some.
-需要什么 -你懂的好东西呗
- Some what? - You know, the good stuff.
妈加农也需要点好东西吗
Mom, does the Cannon need some of the good stuff?
真是好东西啊
That's the good stuff.
找个伴可能真对他有好处
Well, maybe some companionship would be good for him.
-你真这么想吗 -当然
- You think? - Definitely.
*王者归来*
*I'm back*
*王者归来*
*I'm back*
看她收拾东西
Man, watching her pack up
比看戴夫教练收拾爽多了
is way hotter than watching coach Dave.
如果他做DJ的话那就是狼人杰克再世了
If he were a deejay, he'd be Wolfman back.
已故著名DJ 体毛很重
人家就是外在毛发多了点儿
He's like zz bottom.
拜托人家那是遗传
Come on, guys. It's genetic.
人对自己的体毛多少是无能为力的
There's nothing a man can do about his body hair.
闭嘴斯坦我说菜鸟
Shut up, Stan. Hey, rookie!
你过来我有话跟你说
Come over here. I need to talk to you for a sec.
我也可以过去无所谓
Or I can come to you. That's fine.
你看
Check it out.
这是这个月我要用的套套
It's my condom supply for the month.
开个玩笑
I'm kidding.
厉害迪克
Classy, Dick.
我听说了
So I've been told.
-听斯坦说的吗 -有意思
- By Stan? - That's funny.
作为菜鸟教练你得做最烂的工作
Look, as the rookie coach, you get the crappiest job.
所以你要负责巧克力筹款工作
You got to run the chocolate-bar fundraiser.
买♥♥来再卖♥♥掉
Buy it. Sell it.
如果你想搞怪
If you want to get kinky,
可以把巧克力融掉然后在里面洗澡
melt it down and take a bath in it.
但记得之后要再用水洗一次
But then be sure to take a real bath after,
因为你在巧克力中洗完
'cause you're gonna be all...
会变成巧克力人
you know...chocolaty.
周末之前这个现金盒里
There needs to be eight hundy in this cash box
要装满八百块否则你就惨了
by the end of the week, or it's your ass.
你要是没准备好的话我可以找别的教练
Unless you're not up for it. I can find another coach.
-没有关系的 -拜托
- That won't be a problem. - Oh, please.
我会把巧克力都卖♥♥掉的
I'm gonna sell so much chocolate.
我要让你像个贱♥人♥一样痛哭流涕贱♥人♥
It's gonna make you cry like a bitch, bitch.
话说得很下流但我喜欢
That's dirty talk, and I like it.
周一见
I'll see you Monday.
把裤子穿好戴夫
Pull your pants up, Dave!
跑快点否则我要开车追你们了
Speed it up, or I'm gonna get my car and chase you around with it!
刹车可坏了
Brakes are shot!
唐你没有自尊心吗
Dong, where is your pride, man?
吊儿郎当的
What a bum.
丹尼听说过大卫和瓦内萨的事吗
Hey, Danny. Did you hear about David and Vanessa?
没有
No.
他们在餐厅大干了一架
Oh, they had a ginormous fight in the cafeteria.
马铃薯扔了一地哭得梨花带雨
Tater tots were thrown, tears were shed.
就跟卡戴珊一样疯狂
It was Kardashian crazy.
美国娱乐界名媛帕丽斯·希尔顿好友
那又怎样
So?
什么怎样你喜欢她啊
"So?" You like her!
这是你把她追到手的好机会
This is your window to get in there with her.
别管安妮斯顿了追寻你内心的安吉丽娜吧
Find your inner Angelina and take out Aniston.
均为好莱坞著名影星
苍天呐她在那边
O-M-G! There she is!
还记得那天我们去银行
Hey, remember when we were at the bank the other day
你跟那个又高又瘦的出纳调情吗
and you were flirting with that tall, skinny teller?
凯伦是叫凯伦
Oh, Karen, yeah. Karen. Yeah.
如果我再年轻十岁的话
You know, if I was 10 years younger,
我一定会攻破那个"小金库"的
I'd try to bust into that vault.
也就是说你喜欢高个子的女人
So, you like tall women?
高矮都行我无所谓
Tall, short, I don't care.
反正下面都一样你懂的
It's all the same down at the "Y," you know?
那年龄呢
So let's talk age, hmm?
六十岁的女人怎么样
Let's say a woman who was, uh, 60?
五十
50?
四十你还是自己去照照镜子吧
40?! Oh, go look in the mirror.
不不是
No, no, no, no.
我才不会和奇怪的人约会
I am not knocking boots with some blue hair, okay?
你在电脑上搞什么鬼
What the hell are you doing with this machine, anyway?
是个老年人交♥友♥网♥站
It is a seniors dating site.
我觉得你如果找个伴
I thought it would be nice
有人陪着会好一些
if you found someone you enjoyed spending some time with.
比如某个"走向永恒"的时刻
You know, like a "From here to eternity" moment.
-听着不错 -是啊
- That's the good stuff. - Yeah.
那就回答几个问题看看结果如何好吗
So just answer some questions and see what happens, okay?
-开什么玩笑 -你喜欢哪种发型
- You're kidding. - What kind of hair do you like?
巴西人
Brazilian.
老爸我问的是发型
On her head, dad!
必须是长发
It's got to be long.
不要梳成网球选手那样
None of that,tennis lady hair.
你了解我
You know me.
那姑娘要能和我一起看电视球赛
Just a nice gal who'll watch a ballgame with me on TV,
在我们干过之后
After we boff.
你不能用"做♥爱♥"这个词么
Can I say "Make love"?
就用"干" 打出来双引号♥
That would be "Boff." Type it. Two f's.
"干"
"Boff."
你根本没把这个当事儿看
You are not taking this seriously.
推理正确夏洛特神探我不愿意
You got it, Sherlock. I am not doing this.
"做♥爱♥"
"Make...Love."
就是"干"
Bo-o-ff.
好啦每人要卖♥♥出20个巧克力棒行吗
Okay, you each need to sell 20 bars, okay?
保持微笑吸引顾客达德利别偷吃
Smile and be charming. Dudley, no snacking.
下次不会了
Next time.
好了行动
Okay, sell!
有人对加侬的资料感兴趣吗
So, did you get any replies to the Cannon's profile?
有就一个一个自称"尿布男"的男人
Oh, one. Yeah. A guy who calls himself "Diaper dude"
他说喜欢被老男人修理
Who likes getting punched by old men.
重点是他根本没市场