你家还是我家（2015）

A lot of vague and generally good stuff
很多无法明说 但大体会往好的方面发展的事情
is gonna happen to me.
会发生在我身上
Okay, I'm gonna go in there
好吧 我要进去
and I'm gonna ask about my birth parents,
去问问关于我亲生父母的事情
but if I do not find out that I'm a queen or a princess
如果我发现 我不是一个女王或者一个公主
or, at the very least, a Kardashian,
或至少是一个像卡戴珊一样的人（卡戴珊：美国社会名流 娱乐界名媛）
I'm gonna get my money back.
我就要把付的钱讨回来
You're not adopted.
你不是被领养的
I was there. You ripped my betweenus.
我当时就在医院 你撕坏了我的下♥体♥
Gil! What is going on?!
吉尔 你要干什么
I'm done with this Costner bullshit. Done!
我受够了关于科斯特纳的一切 真的是受够了！
I'm going to a hotel.
我要搬到旅馆去住
Come on. That's crazy.
别这样 这也太疯狂了吧
I mean, is this really such a big deal?
我是说 有必要那么大惊小怪的吗？
Listen, Kelli likes Ryan Gosling,
听着 凯莉喜欢瑞恩·高斯林
but I don't get mad about it.
但是我一笑置之了
Okay, but does she ever say,
好吧 但是她曾在滚床单的时候说
"yes, yes, give it to me, Ryan Gosling," during sex?!
“对 就是这样 快给我 瑞恩·高斯林” 吗
Ew. No.
噢 不
But, look, Jan loves you, okay?
但是 简恩爱的是你 好吗
Not some actor that she doesn't even know.
而不是那个她根本不了解的演员
He's a terrible person.
他是一个糟糕的人
Based on a poem by Gil Durnin.
这句话出自吉尔·德尔宁的一首诗
How hard would that have been?
有那么难么
And who knew he reads neighborhood literary magazines?
谁知道他还看三流文学的杂♥志♥呢
No one. That's probably how he gets away with it.
没人知道 这也许就是为何他还安然无事
Gil, listen.
吉尔 听着
Jan loves you, okay?
简恩爱你 好吗
And you're way better than some arrogant actor.
你比那些傲慢的演员好多了
Oliver, please. I'm no Costner.
奥利弗 拜托 我不是科斯特纳
You know what, Gil? If I were gay...
你猜怎么着 吉尔 如果我是基佬
I would want you more than him.
相对而言 我会更喜欢你
You're just saying that.
你只是在安慰我
No.
不
Gil, look, you're an amazing man.
吉尔 你看 你是一个如此优秀的男人
You're smart. You're funny. You're caring.
你很聪明 有趣而且有同情心
But what about the age difference?
但我们之间的年龄差呢
Love doesn't see age, Gil.
爱情不分年龄 吉尔
That's so sweet, but it'd never work.
听起来很好 但是没用
I'm a morning person. You're a night person.
我更喜欢早起 而你却是个夜猫子
I need someone more in touch with their feelings.
我需要建立更多的情感联♥系♥
I mean, I'm a romantic, Oliver.
我的意思是 我是一个浪漫主义者 奥利弗
Okay, you know that this is all hypothetical, right?
好吧 你知道这全是假设 对吗
Okay, I've hurt you, and now you're lashing out.
好吧 我拒绝了你 现在你开始回击我了
Gil, listen.
吉尔听我说
Let's just go back downstairs,
让我们回到楼下去
we'll pretend this never happened,
让我们当做这一切都没发生过
and we'll celebrate your daughter's birthday
我们继续为你女儿庆祝生日
with your family, okay?
和你家人一起 好吗
They need you.
他们需要你
You're their leader,
你是他们的主心骨
the rock that holds this family together.
你让这个家庭联结在一起
I am, aren't I?
是这样的 对吗
You're right.
对的
But please, no more talking about your feelings for me.
但是拜托不要再提你对我的爱慕了 好吗
You're married to my daughter.
你已经和我女儿结婚了
Okay, well, that sucked.
好吧 我太心塞了
She said that I wasn't adopted
她说我不是被领养的
and that I was gonna have a long and happy life
我会有一个漫长并且快乐的人生
and a great family and a satisfying career.
美满的家庭和令人满意的事业
Clearly setting me up for a fall.
明显全是错的嘛
Hey, dad, are you okay? I'm fine.
嘿 老爸 你还好吗 我没事
Where's your mother? I think I need to apologize.
你母亲在哪 我觉得我该向她道歉
She's in the kitchen.
她在厨房♥里
Wow. Nice work.
哇 太好了
Yep, maybe your family will call me
是的 你家人或许从现在开始
the birthday saver from now on.
会叫我生日拯救者
Remember how close you were on my birthday?
还记得我生日那次么 你差点就成功了
With the stairs?
楼梯那次
Ooh, what happened with the stairs?
噢 楼梯那次怎么回事
Well...
好吧
Honey, I don't think we need to rehash that whole thing.
亲爱的 我不认为我们需要重新谈论那件事
We talking about the stairs?
我们是在谈论楼梯那次么
Ooh, that was a real mess.
噢 真是太混乱了
Oh, you guys!
噢 你们这些人
I thought it was maybe...
我原本以为它可能会
Well, guys, I did it.
同志们 我做到了
I made it through a birthday at the Durnins without even...
这次德尔林的生日我没有做一点...
Oh, my God! Baby, are you okay?!
噢天哪 亲爱的 你还好吗
Ow! My ankle! Oh...
噢 我的脚踝
Oh...
噢
Okay, everybody, get your coats. We're going to the hospital.
好了 每个人拿上你的外套 我们得去医院了
The birthday ruiner strikes again.
生日破坏狂又出击了
Guys, can we please stop telling these stories?
各位 我们能暂时不谈这个吗
Oh, okay. Okay. Everyone, sit.
噢 好吧 每个人都坐下
I thought I had lost this forever.
我原本以为我把它弄丢了
But the other day, I was out in the garage looking for a crowbar
但是前几天 我在车♥库♥找铁撬的时候
'Cause sometimes you just want to smash stuff, you know?
因为有时候你会莫名其妙的想砸东西
And I found this. It's so precious.
我找到了这个 它是如此的珍贵
I can't wait for everyone to see it.
我迫不及待想让你们每个人看到它
What is that, mom?
那是什么 妈妈
It's a videotape, sweet pea.
一卷录像带 亲爱的
Oh!
噢
Thank you so much. I love it.
谢谢您 我非常喜欢它
No. No, honey, that's not the present.
不不 亲爱的 这不是生日礼物
We need to watch it on the TV.
我们要在电视上播放它
Oh! Okay.
噢 好的
Let's fire this baby up.
让我们把录像带放起来
Whoops.
哎呦
Well, it looks like there's a new birthday ruiner in town.
好吧 看起来这里又出现一个生日杀手了
Whoa. Not okay, Oliver. Not okay at all.
哎 这不好 奥利弗 一点都不好
Why are you putting this on Enzo?
为什么你要责怪恩佐呢
Oh... well, I just thought 'cause...
噢 好吧 我只是以为
You know, the thing broke
你知道 事情搞砸了
and kind of ruined the birthday.
看起来生日已经被搞砸了
He didn't ruin anything. It's not his fault.
他没有搞砸任何事 这不是他的错
He worked really hard on that.
他已经尽力了
We should thank him again.
我们应该再次感谢他
Thank you, Enzo. Good try.
谢谢你恩佐 好样的
Thank you, Enzo.
谢谢你 恩佐
Whoa, seriously? Come on.
哦 你们是认真的吗 别这样
I fall down some stairs
我从楼梯上摔下来
because someone left a roller blade on them
就因为有人把滑轮鞋放在上面
and you call me a birthday ruiner.
然后你却叫我生日破坏狂
But then Enzo, the guy who puts up a TV wrong
而恩佐呢 他弄坏了电视
because he has no idea what he's doing
因为他并不知道该怎么做
and it crashes to the floor
电视就掉在了地板上了
and shorts out the electrical system,
致使电路短路
and you say "thank you, good try"?!
然而你却说'谢谢 很棒的尝试'?
Oh, my God, I can't believe you people!
噢 我的天 我真不能相信你们这些人
"Oh, Enzo, you're the best."
' 噢 恩佐 你是最棒的'
"Oh, Enzo, you're the greatest." "We love you, Enzo."
“恩佐 你是最最棒的”“我们爱你 恩佐”
"Why don't you just marry all our daughters?"
“那你为什么不干脆娶了我们所有的女儿?”
We can still see you, honey.
我们还是能看到你 亲爱的
Baby, are you okay?
亲爱的 你还好吗?
I'm so sorry.
真的很抱歉
It's just frustrating, you know?
这真的很让人沮丧 你知道吗?
I mean, I've been in this family for 10 years,
我知道 我也已经呆在这个家庭长达十年了
and he shows up a year ago and everybody loves him.
他才来一年而且每个人都喜欢他
I know. It's not fair.
我理解 这的确不公平