你家还是我家（2015）

I love it!
我真高兴
You do?
真的吗
Are you kidding?
你在开玩笑吗
This is the most wonderful news in the world.
这简直是世上最好的消息了
It is! We're in love, I think.
是呀 我们深爱对方 我觉得
Can you imagine two weston princes in the family?
你能想象我们家里有两个韦斯顿家的王子吗
Do you think, if they get married,
你说 如果他们结婚了
the wedding will be at your country club
能在你的乡村俱乐部举办婚礼吗
like yours and Kelli's was?
像你和凯莉的婚礼那样
So fancy!
太美妙了
Cloth towels in the bathrooms...
浴室里的那些衣服毛巾
I stole six of them.
我可偷拿了六条呢
Okay, before they get married,
好吧 在他们结婚之前
we have to get him out of here.
我们得让他离开这里
Gil can never know about this.
不能让吉尔知道这事
Oh, but he will.
哦 但他总会知道的呀
Gil and I don't keep secrets from each other.
吉尔和我之间没有秘密
I have to tell him.
我必须得告诉他
But dad hates Blake.
但爸爸讨厌布莱克
Remember, he said if he ever sees him again,
还记得吗 他说如果再让他见到布莱克
he's gonna punch him in the heart.
他会朝着他的心口一拳揍过去
Ah, Gil's always saying he's gonna punch people in the heart.
啊 吉尔总是说他会朝着谁谁谁的心口一拳揍过去
I can smooth things over between you two.
我可以缓和你俩的关系
But before we tell him that you two are dating,
但在告诉他你俩正在了热恋的事之前
we need him to forgive Blake for the movie-theater incident.
我们要让他原谅布莱克那次电影院事件
I have a plan that I think will work.
我有一个或许可行的计划
Does it have a name?
它有名字吗
Does what have a name, honey?
谁有名字吗 甜心
The plan. It should have a cool name,
那个计划啊 它该有个酷炫的名字
like, "operation cougar" or something.
像 “美洲狮行动”这样的
Enough with the cougar, man.
放过美洲狮吧 老兄
It's called "operation Jan," guys.
它叫“简的行动” 朋友们
And here's... "jantastic."
我们这样 异想简开
Gil's never gonna forgive you
如果你穿着吉尔的运动服
if you're wearing his sweatsuit,
他是永远都不会原谅你的
so you and Oliver need to sw... janbalaya?
所以你得和奥利弗换 什简菜肴
You know who shouldn't have been issued a permit?
你知道不该给谁发布许可证么
That smoothie guy.
那个卖♥♥奶昔的家伙
That thing went through me like a kid in a water slide.
那鬼东西穿过我喉咙 就像一个孩子在水滑梯上一样自♥由♥流畅
Now, where were we?
现在 我们刚说到哪了
Uh, the last thing you said
啊 你说的最后一件事
was "goddamn corporate bloodsucker."
是“天杀的企业吸血鬼”
Oh, no.
哦 不
No!
不
Did you seriously put on my cheerleading uniform?
你竟然敢换上我的拉拉队制♥服♥
I'm Kelli. I'm on the cheerleading squad.
我是凯莉 我是拉拉队的一员
You have no right to wear that.
你没权利穿这件衣服
Only girls who were voted onto the squad by the school
只有由学校投票选入拉拉队的女孩
get the honor of wearing that uniform.
才有荣幸穿上这个制♥服♥
You take that off right now!
你马上给我脱下来
This is serious! You have crossed a line!
我说真的 你太过分了
I'm Kelli. I'm so popular.
我是凯莉 我人见人爱
Everybody voted for me, except for my little sister.
所有人都投了我的票 除了我的妹妹
I cheered at all the games
我为所有比赛加油助威的时候
while she smoked weed under the bleachers.
她却在露天看台下吸大♥麻♥
I blew the entire football team.
我迷倒了一整支橄榄球队
Right.
是呀
Like a football team only has five guys.
好像一个橄榄球队只有五个球员似的
And then I got married to my college sweetheart,
后来我嫁给了我们学校的校草
and we had this big, fancy wedding.
我们举办了一场超大型超豪华的婚礼
You take off my uniform right now.
快把我的制♥服♥脱下来
No.
不
That uniform is sacred!
那件制♥服♥神圣不可侵犯
You take it off! Get off me, you psycho!
你给我脱下来 别碰我 你个疯子
"Psycho"... that's good. Put that down.
“疯子” 好词 记下来
Now I got my tablet. I got everything.
现在我拿到我的平板电脑了 齐活了
Go, Shawni!
加油 肖妮
If I knew that costume was down there,
如果我早知道那件制♥服♥在下面
I'd have had her put it on a long time ago.
我几百年前就让她穿上了
Oh, I'll get it.
噢 我来开门
Oliver, why are you wearing my sweatsuit?
奥利弗 你为什么穿着我的运动服
Um, 'cause Jan said I could.
呃 因为简说我可以穿
Yeah, I'm planning on doing some sweating later,
对啊 我打算一会儿干点体力活
and... So I wanted a suit,
而且 所以我需要一套运动服
because... I like to look official.
因为 我喜欢穿得很正式
Hello, Mrs. Durnin. Is your husband here?
你好啊 杜尔林夫人 您的丈夫在家吗
Holy hell. It's that weston boy...
见鬼了 是那个韦斯顿家的
the one who partially deviated my septum.
揍得我的鼻中隔移位的那个
Enzo, get him. Punch him in the heart.
恩佐 抓住他 往他心口上揍一拳
What are you doing here, Blake?
你来做什么 布莱克
Well, I-I wanted to apologize
好吧 我 我是来道歉的
for what happened at the movie theater.
为那个电影院事件
And as a token of my remorse, I brought this gift.
而且我带了份礼物 以表歉意
Is this an authentic flint arrowhead?
这是真的燧石箭头吗
Yes, it is.
是的
How did you know I collect these?
你怎么知道我喜欢收藏这些
Uh, Oliver told me.
呃 奥利弗告诉我的
It's beautiful. Where did you get it?
它真漂亮 你从哪儿弄来的
Andy's house.
安迪家
I should probably look this Andy up.
我得拜访一下这个安迪
I bet he has quite a collection.
我打赌他一定有丰富的藏品
What's his last name?
他姓什么
Cougar.
美洲狮
He's a native American.
他是个印第安人
Wow. Thank you, Blake. This is very special.
哇噢 谢谢你 布莱克 这礼物很特别
Oh, that is pretty nice, Gil.
哦 真好呀 吉尔
Don't you think it's time you forgave Blake
你不觉得你是时候原谅布莱克
for that silly little movie-theater incident?
那次微不足道的的电影院事件了吗
All right, but you got to get me two more of these...
好吧 但你得再给我弄来两个这样的礼物
one of them a necklace.
其中必须包括一条项链
Done.
成交
Made of real leather,
是由真正的皮革制成的
not that pleather bullshit.
可不是人造皮革做出来的狗屎
Turns my neck green.
人造皮革把我的脖子都弄绿了
All right!
好吧
I can't believe that worked!
我不敢相信这竟然奏效了
I know! What a rush!
我知道 多快啊
Wow. We do that now. Okay.
哇哦 我们现在玩这个了吗 好吧
All right, let's talk step two...
好的 我们现在来谈谈第二步
telling Gil that Blake is Dani's boyfriend.
告诉吉尔说布莱克是丹妮的男友
It'll be complicated, take a lot of time and patience,
这会很复杂 需要更多的时间和耐心
but if we manage Gil just right,
不过如果我们把握好吉尔的脾气
eventually he will welcome Blake with open arms.
总有一天他会张开双臂欢迎布莱克的
Okay, cool.
好吧 酷
So we should tell Blake the rest of the plan
所以我们应该把剩下的计划告诉布莱克
so he doesn't screw it... What?!
这样他就不会弄砸 什么
You're dating my daughter? I forbid it!
你在跟我的女儿约会 我不准
Now get out of my house before I punch you in the heart!
在我痛揍你心口之前马上滚出我家
He picked up the knee chair.
他拿起了那个膝椅
He actually picked it up.
他真的把它拿起来了
Yeah, I know. We saw.
是啊 我知道 我们看见了
What the hell happened out there, Blake?
外面发生了什么事 布莱克
It was all going so well,
本来一切都进展得挺好
I thought I could just tell him.
我想可以告诉他了
Aw, Blake, I don't know if even I can fix this.
布莱克 我都不知道 我能否摆平这件事了
Now this whole thing is janarchy!
现在整件事都乱七简糟
I might be able to fix it.
我或许能处理好
I can't believe I'm about to say this,
我不敢相信我会这么说
but... I'm calling a share square.
但是 我要举♥行♥谈心会
If you're gonna go around picking up chairs, Gil,
吉尔 如果你想把椅子拿起来的话