你家还是我家（2015）

Blake found me in the bushes.
布莱克在灌木丛里找到了我
He's like a hero or something.
他就像英雄一样
Oh, my God. Did they just have sex out there?
噢 天啊 他们是不是刚刚在那里啪啪啪了
Of course they did.
当然了
Hey, buddy. Do you need to pee?
嘿 小子 你要尿尿吗
Dani, you really have to leave this time.
丹妮 你这次真的得走了
No coming back, no getting lost, no sex in the backyard.
不能回来 不能迷路 不能在后院滚床单
It wasn't sex. It was just a cazsh-y beej.
那不是滚床单 就是碎便哒哒灰机
Why is nobody speaking English today?
为什么今天没人说英语
Casual blowjob.
随便打打飞机
O-kay. Cazsh-y beej. Kind of like that.
哦 碎便哒哒灰机 挺喜欢这个的
You can't be with Blake.
你不可以和布莱克在一起
Bad things happen. You know that.
会有坏事发生 你知道的
I know. I know. You're right.We're not good together.
我知道 我知道 你说得对 我们不适合在一起
You have to go home. You promise?
你一定要回家 你能保证吗
I promise. Okay.
我保证 好
My God, they're like animals.
天啊 他们就像动物一样
We should do that. We should do what?
我们也应该那样干 干什么啊
Have sex in the backyard.
在后院啪啪啪啊
You know, to up our passion.
你懂的 燃起爱火
We used to do stuff like that all the time.
我们以前总干这种事
Listen, I'm all about upping our passion.
听着 我也想燃起爱火
But I don't know if I could do that.
但我不知道我做不做得到
I've got some beloved dogs buried back there.
我在那里埋了好几条心爱的狗狗
You're talking about dead dogs?
你是说死狗吗
That just cost you a cazsh-y beej in the backyard.
你刚浪费了一个在后院碎便哒哒灰鸡的机会
Hey, son. The nurse gave me this.
嘿 儿子 护士给了我这个
I don't know what to do with it.
我不知道怎么办
All right, you ready to see what a genius I am?
好了 准备好看我的天才之举了么
Mmhmm. I got Jason Jr. in the bathroom
嗯哼 我叫小杰森到厕所里
peeing into a coffee mug right now.
现在在往咖啡杯里尿尿
You're gonna take that mug, do a little
你要做的是拿到那个杯子 做点手脚
and ba-bam. Bitchy murse gets back into his '92 Subaru
吧嘣 贱♥人♥男护回到他92年的斯巴鲁车上
with a clean old cup of kid's pee.
带着一杯香醇绿色无污染的童子尿
Wait a minute.
等一下
You farmed this out to your 8-year-old son?
你利用你8岁的儿子把这件事搞定的吗
Fantastic.
太棒了
I am so proud of you.
太为你骄傲了
Of course you are, Dad. I'm a doctor.
当然了 老爸 我是一个医生
Here you go, Dad.
给你 爸爸
Great work, little man.
干得好 小伙子
You just earned yourself an "NBA 2k" game.
你刚刚为自己赢得了一套“NBA 2k”系列游戏
Awesome!
太好了
Hi, Ricky.
嗨 里奇
So, will this go with any of the sweaters?
那 这个配针织衫好吗
Yes?
好
No. Oh.
不 噢
Closer, though.
但是 差不多了
Okay.
好的
Did you end up getting the pee?
你最后拿到尿吗
Right here. Jason Jr.
就在这里 小杰森的
Are you sure it's clean?
你确定这干净的吗
Can I slice you some cheese?
我能给你切点奶酪吗
Did you just hear that?
你刚刚听到吗
I'd love you to slice me some cheese.
我很乐意让你为我切奶酪
You got to be kidding me.
你在逗我
Dani, get out here.
丹妮 出来
What's up?
怎么了
What are you doing?
你在干什么
And how did you get back in?
还有你怎么进来的
Are there more doors in this house than I know about?
难道这个屋子里还有我不知道的门吗
She came in through the old cat door in the den.
她从小房♥间里的猫门进来的
You fit through a cat door?
你能穿过猫门
I know, right?
就是说啊 对吧
We just discussed this.
我们刚刚讨论了这个事情
You and Blake can't be together.
你和布莱克不可以在一起
Blake and I were just talking about that.
布莱克和我刚聊到这个
When we were together before, it was so long ago.
我们以前是在一起过 不过那是好久前的事了
And now we're older and more mature.
现在我们长大了 也更成熟了
It was a year and a half ago
才一年半之前的事
and you just entered the house through a cat door.
还有你刚刚从猫门进的屋子
I don't think it's gonna be the same as it was before.
我不觉得我们还会像以前那样
We have a much deeper connection now.
现在我们有了更深层次的感情交流
True.
对
Your rack is ridiculous.
你的身材太不可思议了
I know. Your biceps are insane.
我知道 你的二头肌太让人难以置信了
I know.
我知道
Wait. You're kind of conceited.
等一下 你有点自以为是
You're the one who's conceited.
你才是自以为是的那个人好吗
What are you even doing here?!
你在这里干什么
This is my house! You think you own everything, don't you?!
这个是我的家 你觉得什么都是你的 是吧
Oh, my God! We're back to this?! Really?!
噢 天啊 我们又讨论回来了 不是吧
Okay, you don't own me! No, you are crazy!
好了 我又不是你的 不 你疯了
I don't know what you're thinking! You... oh!
我不知道你在想什么 你 噢！
You stabbed me!
你刺了我
Hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey. Ohh! Oh!
嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 嘿 噢 噢！
Oh, that's too bad. That was some clean pee.
噢 太惨了 那是纯净的尿
What in the world...
到底发生什么
oh, my God, what happened to my baby?
噢 我的天 我的宝贝怎么了
Mom. I'm okay, Mom. It's nothing.
妈 我没事 妈 没什么大碍
On three. Three.
数到三就拔 三
Oh! Ooh! Aah!
嗷 嗷 噢
What the hell just happened?
刚才发生了什么
Dani stabbed him. It was an accident.
丹妮刺了他 那是个意外
What are you even doing here?
你在这里干什么
She's leaving right now and not coming back.
她现在就走 再也不回来了
I'll block the cat door.
我去把猫门堵住
Okay, beyyyy. Merry Christmas.
好的 再见 圣诞快乐
And, Blake, I just wanted to say that...
布莱克 我只是想说
he's gonna be okay.
他会好的
She didn't get him that deep.It's just a minor flesh wound.
她没有下狠手 伤口不深 皮肉伤而已
Kelli, you and your violent Irish family...
凯丽 这就是你和你暴♥力♥的爱尔兰家族
Oh, for God's sake.
噢 天哪
And could someone please explain the urine?
有人能解释下这尿吗
Claire, I assume that was you.
克莱尔 我猜这是你的杰作
It was.
就是了
What? It's just easier.
什么 这样简单一点
Claire, I need you to go to the upstairs bathroom,
克莱尔 你去楼上的浴室
get me some alcohol, gauze,and a 2x2" band-aid.
拿些酒精 纱布 2*2的创可贴
Yes, Doctor!
得令 医生!
I love it when she does that.
我爱死她这副摸样了
Hey.
海
Maybe that's what we should do to up the passion?
或许我们可以试试这口味
A little role-playing.
小小的角色扮演
I'm a doctor, you're a nurse.
我医生 你护士
Why do you get to be the doctor?
你干嘛要当医生?
I want to be the doctor.You can be the nurse.
我想做医生 你就做护士
That's insane. I would be the doctor.
傻话 我才是医生
And this is why we don't role-play.
这就是我们无法角色扮演的原因了
Ricky? It was me.
里奇 是我
It was you? Yes.
是你 嗯
Dad smoked a little bit of weed and he needs clean urine
老爸吸了点大♥麻♥ 他需要干净的尿
or else he won't pass his insurance physical.
不然他过不了保险体♥检♥测试
Is that true, Louis?
是吗 路易斯
100%.
当然
Oh, for God's sake. Give me that.
噢 天哪 把那个给我
Here.
给
Wow. Speedy Gonzales.
哇 真迅速
Now we will never speak of this again.
我们以后再也不提这事了
Here are the items you asked for, Doctor, stat.
这是你要的 医生