你家还是我家（2015）

Money must have changed hands there.
其中肯定有金钱上的猫腻
just kidding. L.O.L.
逗你们玩而已 哈哈大笑
Stuff about the other people...
其他人的那些破事呢
I call them "peers",but with finger quotes."
我叫他们同事 但是是加了引号♥的
Yada yada yada... the end. Great, huh?
吧啦吧啦 结束 很有才 对吧
Do you think maybe you sound...
你觉不觉得你听起来有点
I don't know... a bit... Bitter?
我不知道 有点 酸酸的
Bitter? Seriously? Is that what you got?
酸酸的 真的吗 这就是你悟出来的吗
Oliver, did you get that?
奥利弗 你听出酸意了吗
Uh, maybe a tad. A touch.
额 可能有一丢丢 一咪♥咪♥
A lot.
很多
I think you just don't get my sense of humor,
我觉得你们没领悟到我的幽默感
Like this joke here...
比如这个笑话
"I'm better than all of you."
“我比你们都厉害”
Well, thank you so much for calling.
好 非常感谢您的来电
I-I don't know what to say. I'm just in shock.
我 我不知道说什么好 我还没有缓过来
Okay. Goodbye.
好的 再见
Mom, what's wrong?
妈 怎么了
That was my friend Brenda,
是我的朋友布伦达
Whose husband's on the board of the college.
她的老公是大学董事会的
She just told me your dad's not gonna win tonight.
她刚才跟我说 你♥爸♥今晚赢不了那个奖了
Was that the florist?
是送花的打过来吗
I ordered you a dozen roses...
我帮你订了一打玫瑰
For you to hand me after I win.
让你能在我得奖后上台献花
Dad's not gonna win?!
老爸没法胜出了
Why would they do that to him?
为什么他们要那样对他
Oh, honey, your dad is a great Professor,
噢 亲爱的 你们老爸是个好教授
But he has made enemies among the faculty there,
但他成了全体教员的公敌
Mainly because of his
主要是因为他
"if it's in the fridge, it's fair game" policy.
“如果食物在冰箱里 就是公共资源”的做法
I can't watch him lose again. It'll break his heart.
我不能再看着他输了 他会心碎的
To lose again for the fifth time in front of all those people?
在所有人面前输第五次
We can't let him go to that ceremony.
我们不能再让他去那个颁奖典礼了
I agree.
我同意
If he knows he's not winning,he won't go anyway.
如果他知道他赢不了 他也就不会去了
So the best plan here is you tell him he's not gonna win.
所以现在最好的方法是 你告诉他 他赢不了
Exactly! You tell him he's not gonna win.
没错 你去和他说 他赢不了
Wait.
等一下
What?
什么鬼
Why I am telling him? You're his wife.
为什么要我告诉他 你是他老婆
Oh, honey, you're his favorite daughter.
噢 甜心 你是他最喜欢的女儿
Not if I tell him he didn't win!
我跟他说了这个之后就不是了
All right, since neither one of us
好吧 既然我们两个都
Are willing to break the news to him,
不想去告诉他这个消息
The least we can do is stop him from going to that ceremony.
我们最起码能做的是阻止他去参加那个颁奖典礼
Then you can figure out how you're gonna tell him later.
然后你之后再想想该怎么告诉他
I mean, maybe it won't be as hard as we think.
我的意思是 这可能没我们想象的那么难
Which of these says winner?
哪件最有王者风范
I'm thinking gold so I match the trophy.
我在考虑金色 这个和奖杯比较配
Hi, Dani.
嗨 丹妮
shh! Do you hear that?
嘘 你听到了吗
The house is here.
房♥子就在这里
Uh... Dani, what's going on?
额 丹妮 发生什么事了
Whoa.
哇哦
Okay.
好吧
So, you were obviously out all night.
很明显你整晚都出去嗨了
I was at this party with Blake.
我和布莱克一起参加了这个派对
Hey!
嘿
He's your brother.
他是你的弟弟
He is, yeah.
对 是
Hey! Is he as high as you are right now?
嘿 他现在也跟你一样嗨吗
No, he had to go home,
不 他一定要回家
But I stayed and had what I thought was candy.
但我留下来了 还吃了一颗我以为是糖的东西
But guess what.
但你造吗
It wasn't candy. It was from the moon.
那不是糖 那是从月球上来的
You're a little scary right now.
你现在有点吓人啊
Well, your ears are kind of weird.
嗯 你的耳朵挺奇怪的耶
Okay. Now I know you're high.
好吧 现在我知道你是真的嗨了
Hey, baby. We have a bit of a problem.
嘿 宝贝 我们有麻烦了
I know. Wait. You have a problem?
我知道 等等 你也有麻烦
Yeah, you have one, too?
对 你也有一个啊
Dad's not getting the award.
老爸赢不了那个奖了
What?
什么
He deserves that award so much.
他超想赢那个奖的
I thought he was getting it for sure.
我以为他赢定了
Me too. But apparently,
我也这么想 但很明显
He eats other people's food in the faculty lounge.
他把教工休息室里面别人的零食都吃了
We can't let him go to that ceremony,
我们不能让他去那个典礼
So if you could tell dad he's not gonna win...
所以如果你可以和老爸说他赢不了了
What? I'm telling him?
什么 要我告诉他吗
You want to tell him?
你想告诉他吗
I was going to, but that's a great idea.
我本来自己跟他说的 但你的主意挺好的
I'm fine with that.
我不介意
Maybe Gil pulls a Marlon Brando!
也许吉尔可以效仿马龙·白兰度（美国著名影星）
What? Dad gets fat and dies?
什么 老爸过肥死
No, marlon Brando didn't show up to the oscars one time
不是 马龙·白兰度有一次没有出席奥斯卡
Because he was making some kind of political statement.
因为他要发表什么政♥治♥声明
That might work! Dad loves making statements!
这招可能有效 老爸喜欢发表声明
He boycotted the movie "Frozen"
他抵♥制♥电影《冰雪奇缘》
Because it wasn't about global warming.
因为电影讲的不是全球变暖
Okay, so I'm gonna look up exactly what Brando did.
好 那我去查查白兰度是怎么干的
Maybe I can convince Gil.
可能我可以说服吉尔
Okay.
好
Wait. What was your problem?
等等 你的麻烦是什么
Oh, Dani took some crazy drug,
哦 丹妮磕了些乱七八糟的药
And she's so high she thinks my ears look weird.
她太嗨了 居然觉得我的耳朵看起来很怪
So it's obviously pretty serious.
这个问题明显很严重
Okay, she did this once before.
好吧 她之前也试过一次
I hope she doesn't do anything crazy.
我只希望她不要做什么疯狂的事
Last time, she called 911
上次 她打了911
To report that fairies had taken over the pantry.
说仙女们抢占了一个食品储藏室
But they hadn't, right?
这些仙女没这么做 对吧
Hey, Dani.
嗨 丹妮
So, did Shawni show you her new necklace?
肖妮给你看她的新项链了吗
Sometimes. I can't remember.
有时候 我记不太清楚
Well, if you saw it, you wouldn't forget, believe me.
好吧 相信我 如果你看了一定不会忘的
It was shaped like a heart.
它是心形的
Do you ever think sometimes there's another level
你有想过有的时候事情会
where stuff happens we don't know about?
不知不觉的发展起来么
You mean like in a relationship?
你是说谈恋爱的时候吗
Yes, I have been thinking about that,
嗯 我最近一直在考虑
About Shawni and I taking it to the next level.
肖妮和我发展到下一个阶段的问题
How will you even get it there?!
你打算怎么做啊
Well, I've been thinking about asking Shawni
我一直在想我要不要问问肖妮
If she and Dougie want to move in with me,
愿不愿意和道奇一起搬过来和我住
But I'm worried that she's not ready,
但是我担心她没准备好
That she'd say no and break my heart...
拒绝我然后伤透我的心
Something that can't happen
不像我送她的那条项链
With the necklace that I gave her
是肯定不会碎的（碎/伤透为同一词）
Because Eddie's jewelry is guaranteed unbreakable.
因为埃迪家的珠宝保证牢不可破
Ready? Everyone's ready.
准备 大家早都准备好了
Guaranteed.
我保证哦
Wait. You know she's ready?
等下 你知道她准备好了
If I ask her, she'll say yes?
如果我问她 她会同意吧
Yes-s-s.
必须的
Really? Then I'll do it.
真的吗 我马上问
I'm going to my car to get my spare key to give to her.
我要去车上拿我的备用钥匙送给她
Thank you!
谢谢你啊
Hey, can I borrow your beard sometimes?
你胡子能借我玩两天吗
Looking good, Gil!
吉尔 你看起来真精神