你家还是我家（2015）

Your Family or Mine S01E04

Part 4 April 16, 2021, 9:01 p.m.

Everyone gather 'round.
你们都过来
Hello. The Durnins.
你好德宁
Yes, we are all here.
对我们都在
All right, I'm gonna put you on speakerphone.
好了我开一下免提
All right, Mr. Executor. Execute.
好了遗产执行先生执行吧
I will now read from article nine
我马上会读第六款第七节
section seven, the section that concerns your family.
这一节是和你们家有关的
Here we go, baby.
快开始吧宝贝
To my nephew Gil
"给我的外甥吉尔
I leave all automobiles in my estate."
我在财产中留下了所有的车辆"
What? She didn't have a car.
什么她根本就没有车
Yeah, you know, we... we couldn't locate one, either.
是啊你知道的我们也找不到一辆车
"To his wife, Jan, I leave the crystal parrot
"给他的妻子简我留下了那一只无论我什么时候去做客
that she so kindly puts out whenever I visit."
她总是很体贴摆出来的水晶鹦鹉"
Aww.
噢
"To my great-niece Shawni
"给我的重外甥女肖妮
I leave my extensive collection of self-help books."
我留下了自己收集的大量自助书籍"
What the fuc--
这特么搞...
"To my great-niece Dani, I leave my rock garden."
"给我的外侄女丹妮我留下了自己的岩石公园"
Rocks?
石头?
What?!
搞什么!
"To my great-niece Kelli
"给我的外侄女凯莉
I leave my three cats
我留下了自己的三只猫
because she once mentioned to me she loves cats."
因为她曾提到过一次她喜欢猫"
Nope. Never said that.
不我没说过
"And to Kelli’s husband, Oliver
"给凯莉的丈夫奥利弗
I leave 5% of the money in the post-probate estate."
我留下了遗产认证公布的百分之五的财产给他"
What?! To Oliver?!
什么给奥利弗?!
God damn it! The rich just get richer!
尼玛的富人更富!
And I'm stuck with a car that doesn't exist
我被迫接受一辆子虚乌有的车
and this stupid, goddamn parrot!
还有这只该死的鹦鹉!
Oh, um, there's a note attached to that last section.
噢噢最后一节有一节注释
"Oliver, the vision of you in all your glory
"奥利弗你充满光辉的幻影
gave me great pleasure
给了我很大的快乐
and kept me going in my later years."
让我在晚年的日子里走下去"
What's going on?
这怎么回事
There's another note attached from the estimator.
这里还有张来自评估人员的注释
The parrot is valued at $14,000.
鹦鹉价值一万四千美元
$14,000... somebody get me some goddamn superglue!
一万四千美元有人能给我些该死的强力胶吗!
So, why'd she leave all the money to you?
为什么她会把所有钱都留给你?
There was an incident.
以前有个小意外
Why didn't you ever tell me that?
为什么你都没说过
I don't know. It was embarrassing.
我不知道这很尴尬的
She really checked me out.
她真的是在打量我
Well, the wing needs some work
好吧修复翅膀还需要费点力
but we'll probably get something for it.
但我们可能要用什么来粘住它
You owe me a trampoline--
你特么欠我个蹦床
Hey, mom. Hey, mom.
嘿妈妈嘿妈妈
Hey, girls. What's up?
嘿女孩们怎么了
How come you never say anything bad about aunt Megan?
你怎么没说一点梅根阿姨的坏话呢
Yeah. And she left you that crazy-expensive parrot.
是啊她还把那个超贵的鹦鹉留给了你
Did you two have some kind of relationship
你们俩有某种
we didn't know about?
我们不知道的关系吗
We did.
的确
We had good talks.
我们愉快地交流过
Did you plant tulips this season?!
这个季节你要种郁金香吗
No! We had a very dry spring!
不这个春天我们那太干燥
I'm so glad you like to do this as much as I do!
我很高兴你和我一样喜欢做刺♥激♥的事
Gil won't come anywhere near this place!
吉尔根本不会接近这样的地方
That's 'cause he's a pussy!
那是因为他太娘了