你家还是我家（2015）

We always get sucked in when we get to your parents' house.
每次去你♥爸♥妈家的时候 我们总是耽搁太久
We can't let that happen tonight.
今晚我们不能再重蹈覆辙
Get in, get out.
进去然后马上出来
Get in, get out. Got it.
进去 马上出来 我造了
No sucking.
不要喝奶
I want us to have at least an hour in the spa
我想在做夫妻按♥摩♥前
before our couples' massage.
泡至少一个小时的温泉
Yeah, honey, it's our date night.
啊 宝贝 今晚是我们的约会夜
That's all I want,a special night with my bab--
我想要的就是和我的宝贝共度一个特别的夜晚
hey, the camera's connected!
嘿 相机连上了
I can see the girls!
我能看到那些女孩
And it's so clear! Look at that picture!
而且很清楚! 看看看这个画面！
Baby, stop!I'm driving!
宝贝 停！ 我在开车！
I just want you to see.
我只是想让你看看
I don't feel right about this --spying on the babysitter.
我觉得这是不对的 --监视保姆
Honey, it's not spying.
宝贝 这不是在监视
It's security.
这是为了安全起见
We've never used her before.
之前我们从来没雇佣过她
We don't know anything about her.
我们对她一无所知
Lucy's a good girl.
露西是个好女孩
But she's in college.She might go wild.
但是她还是大学生 她也许会狂野起来
Don't you remember that porn we got
还记得我们在温哥华酒店
in the hotel in Vancouver?
看过的A片吗
"College Girls Gone Wild."
“狂野女大学生”
Do you really think those girls were in college?
你真的认为那些女孩是大学生?
They seemed too old.
她们看起来太老了
We need to be careful, okay?
我们需要谨慎点 好吗?
The girls in that movie wasted so much water
片里的姑娘们在沐浴的那个场景
in that shower scene.
浪费了太多水
I don't want to pay for that.
我可不想为那买♥♥单
And all that soap?
竟然还用光了所有的香皂?
How clean do boobs need to be?
咪♥咪♥需要洗多干净?
I love that you always try to apply logic to those movies.
你总试着从逻辑的角度来欣赏A片 这太让我喜欢了
I can't help it.It's crazy.
我情不自禁 这太不可思议了
I mean,why would you order a pizza
我是指为什么你明明没有钱买♥♥单
if you don't have enough money to pay for it?
还非得点个披萨呢
Use your head, porn stars!
动动脑子 A片艳星！
Okay, everybody, look at me.
好 大家看向我
So, we're agreed --we just get in,
那么 我们说好了 我们进去
do your family's weird "two hello" thing,
按你们家的古怪传统说两次你好
drop off the computer,and get out.
放下电脑 然后出门
Agreed. Wait.
同意 等一下
Did you remember Emma's drawing?
你带艾玛的画了吗?
Yeah, I got it.
是的 我带了
But my mom's never gonna put it on the fridge.
但是我妈妈绝对不会贴在冰箱上
She never hung any of my drawings.
她从来不会把我的画挂起来
She says it "ruins the aesthetic."
她说那会毁了她的审美观
Well, she'd better hang this one.
好吧 但她应该挂上这个
It's her granddaughter.
这可是她孙女的画
And don't tell your mother I went back to work.
还有 不要告诉你妈我回去工作了
Sure, but why not? She'll judge me.
当然 但为什么不呢? 她会对我评头论足
My mother would never judge you.
我妈妈从来不会对你那样
I don't even know why I just said that.
这话连我自己也骗不了
Hello, hello!
你好 你好!
Hello, hello!
你好 你好!
Hello, hello, Oliver!
你好 你好 奥利弗
Hello, hello, Mom!
你好 你好 妈妈!
Hello, hello.
你好 你好
Hello, hello, Kelli.
你好 你好 凯丽
How you doing, Pop?
你好吗 爸爸
Where are the girls?
我孙女在哪儿
We're supposed to babysit the girls.
我们理应要照看她们
Don't worry, Pop.
不要担心 爸爸
You're still gonna watch the girls on this.
从这里你也能看到你孙女
I put in a nanny cam.
我在家里装了个摄像头
You'll babysit the babysitter.
你可以监视保姆
You don't trust this girl?
你不信任这个女孩?
Of course we do.
我们当然信任她
Lucy's very sweet,and she's a college girl.
露西是个非常贴心的女孩 而且她还是个大学生
No, of course we'll watch her. She'll probably go wild.
不 我们得监视她 她也许会狂野起来
College girls --they go wild all the time.
女大学生 她们一直都是狂野的
When we were at that hotel in Vancouver,
当我们在温哥华酒店的时候
your mother and I rented this movie
你妈妈和我租了个影片
Louis!
路易斯
I brought you something.
我给你带了件东西
Emma drew it.
艾玛画的
She wants you to put it on your fridge.
她希望你把它挂在冰箱上
Unless you don't like your granddaughter's drawing.
除非你不喜欢你孙女的画
Are you sure you want this up for everyone to see?
你确定你希望把这个挂起来让每个人看
Yes, I'm sure, Ricky.
是的 我确定 里奇
I don't normally do that,but all right.
我一般不这样做 但是可以啦
Your mother put the drawing on the fridge.
你妈妈把画挂在冰箱上了
No problem.
小菜一碟
Are you sure she put it up?
你确定她挂起来了
Yeah.
是的
Are you sure it was my mother?
你确定那是我妈
Yep.
对
Maybe only your drawings didn't match the aesthetic.
也许只有你的作品不符合她审美
Spider-man fighting stormtroopers
蜘蛛侠大战暴风兵
matches every aesthetic.
符合每个人的审美好嘛
Okay, here we go.
嘿 过来看看
Another girl just came in.
另外一个女孩进来了
What?
什么
Who is that?
那是谁
I never said she could invite a friend over.
我没说过她可以邀请朋友过来
She needs someone else with whom to go wild.
她需要其他人和她一起狂野起来
Oli, it's fine.Now let's go.
没事 奥利 我们走吧
Honey, I just want to take one minute
宝贝 我需要一分钟的时间
and make sure everything's okay at home.
确保家里的一切都安好
No, we haven’t--
不 我们还没有
Why is the other girl crying?
另外一个女孩子为什么在哭
Maya, just calm down.
玛雅 冷静下来
Girls, why don't you go in the playroom?
孩子们 你们不如去游戏室玩吧
Okay. Sure.
好的 当然可以
Tell me what's going on.
告诉我发生什么事了
Colin says he needs to talk.
科林说他需要和我谈谈
And, like, I think he's gonna break up with me.
而且 我觉得他好像想和我分手
Charlotte said that she heard that he's, like,
夏洛蒂说 她听说科林好像
in love with someone else.
爱上了其他人
Okay, Charlotte doesn't know anything.
听着 夏洛蒂啥都不知道
Girl's a bitch.
女孩就是贱
Whoa!Watch the language, college!
哇 别乱说话 大学生
That's nothing.
这有什么
Wait till they get in the shower.
等到她们进入浴室才有好戏看
Look at this drawing that Oliver's older girl did.
看 奥利弗的大女儿的画
See how she drew the mother?
看她把她妈妈画成什么样了
Like a monster.
像个怪兽
And they look scared of her.
并且她们都怕她
I have always said that Kelli is too strict with them.
我说过说凯丽把她们管的太严吧
And now this drawing?
看看现在这幅画?
Dr. Phil would have a field day with this.
费尔医生会拿这大做文章的
It's just a drawing.
这只是幅画而已
It doesn't mean anything.
这不代表什么
I told him to marry Betsy Langston.
我让他娶贝西·朗斯通
She's from a good family.But no.
她是大家闺秀 但是 他不听
He had to marry the girl he met
非得娶他邂逅的那姑娘
while she was peddling Jell-o shots in hot pants
当时她可是在穿着热裤兜售果冻耶
at the Husky Hole.
而且还是在哈士奇之家
Don't let this thing turn into one of "your things," okay?
不要多管闲事 好吗?
Are we done?
你说完了吗?