你家还是我家（2015）

Or a tampon.
我的意思是 如果你不想现在用的话
I mean, if you don't want to use it right now,
你可以放在钱包里
you can just put it in your purse.
狗♥娘♥养♥的
Son of a bitch!
嘿 那是不是
Hey, is that...
哦 路易斯的其中一张刮刮乐
Ooh, one of Louis' scratchers.
这种东西实在是太蠢逼了
These things are so stupid.
从来没人赢过
No one ever wins.
我知道 这就是个骗局
I know. They're such a scam.
他们说所有的钱都用来支持教育了
They say all the money goes to education.
我没看到啊
I'm not seeing it.
我们把它刮开 好伐
We're gonna scratch it, right?
好呀 来吧
Yeah, we are.
好哒
Okay.
哦 有个心
Oh, there's a heart.
存钱罐
Piggy bank.
恩 一个钻石
Mm. A diamond.
嘿 又一个钻石
Hey, another diamond.
- 一个棺材 不怎么好呀 - 嗯
- A coffin? That can't be good. - Mm.
第三个钻石
Third diamond.
三个钻石意味着两千元耶
Three diamonds means $2,000.
打脸了吧
Shut your face!
那可是一大笔钱呀
That's a lot of money.
路易斯一定会很开心的
Louis is gonna be so happy.
我们会很开心的
We're gonna be so happy！
第一阶段：否认
顺便说一下 你们都错了
You guys are way wrong, by the way.
我没有坠入爱河
I'm not in love.
好吧 可惜你有
Okay. Except that you are.
不可能 我才没有坠入爱河
No way. I do not fall in love.
只是小狗狗和老年人才会干的事
That's for puppies and old people.
奥利弗和我就爱着对方
Oliver and I are in love.
对
Right.
我问你答
Let me ask you this.
你们俩有没有过只陪伴着对方 但没有肉体接触的情况
Do you guys ever hang out without getting physical?
没有 从来没
No. Never.
好吧 除了这周末
Well, except this weekend,
我们一起在床上看了一部电影
we did watch a movie in bed together,
最后我们睡着了
and we ended up falling asleep.
但如果我们没有睡着的话 我们肯定滚床单了
But if we hadn't, totally would have done it.
那是什么电影
What movie was it?
我不想说
I don't want to say.
什么电影啦
What movie?
是《真爱至上》啦 行了吧
It was "Love Actually," okay?
是《真的爱了》吧
More like "in love actually."
里奇 你有创可贴吗
Ricky, you got a band-aid?
我把 我把手指“刮刮破”了
I got a... I got lottery finger.
路易斯 你有没有从这些抽屉里拿走什么东西
Louis, have you taken anything out of those drawers?
没有 怎么了 你丢了什么吗
No. Why? You missing something?
我 我可以帮你找
I-I can help you find it.
不 不 不 没什么的 不用了
No, no, no. It's nothing. Nothing.
一定在这儿的某个地方
Got to be here somewhere.
东西不会平白无故消失的
Things don't just up and disappear.
- 没事吧 里奇 - 哦 还好
- Everything going okay, Ricky? - Oh, yeah.
我只是有点紧张 你知道吗
I'm just a little stressed, you know?
我得做不止一份大杂烩
I have to make not one but two gripples
就因为克莱尔虚弱的免疫系统
thanks to Claire's weak immune system.
而且还有一屋子的人
And I have a house full of people
饥肠辘辘地等着我的招牌菜
who are desperately hungry for my famous dish.
我不会用到我在找的东西
I don't need the thing that I'm looking for.
我只是想要它罢了 没什么大不了的
I just want it. It's no big deal.
这里会不会碰巧有个创可贴呀
Doesn't happen to be a band-aid in there anywhere?
好吧 这应该不难修好的吧
Okay. This shouldn't be so hard to fix.
淡定 我们会修好的
Easy breezy here. We got this.
我们可以在大概五分钟之内就拼好的 对吗
We can put this together in like five minutes, right?
是啊 那就多花一点点时间修好它吧
Yeah. Let's make it take a little bit longer.
有点像在这儿避开了其他人
Kind of like being up here away from everybody.
很不错 不是吗
It nice, isn't it?
嗯啊 的确不错
Yeah. It really is.
那就在这消遣一会吧 兄弟
Let's just hang out up here for a while, man.
假装现在是1990年
Just pretend like it's 1990 again.
一起组装乐高积木玩具
Build some legos together,
开玩笑暗示对方是女的
make jokes that imply the other one is a woman.
一定会很好玩的
It'll be great.
噢 太疯狂了 克莱尔刚刚给我发短♥信♥了
Oh. That's crazy. Claire just texted me.
她说 很明显 你芭蕾课迟到了
She said, apparently, you're late for your ballet class.
这咋回事呀
What's that about?
我们可以留着它 对不
We can keep it, right?
“谁找到就归谁”是有原因的
They call it finders keepers for a reason.
就像一条不成文的规定
It's like a law.
这个完全是我们的 我们每个人刚赢了一千块
Totally. This is ours. We just won $1,000 each.
我想好要怎么花我那部分了
I know what I'm spending mine on.
我也是 我们一起说出来 揭示谜底
Me, too. Let's say it at the same time and find out.
- 好的 好的 准备好了吗 - 好的 来吧
- Okay, okay. Ready? - Okay. Yeah.
一 二 三
One, two, three.
- 我一直想要的那条裙子 - 给杰森买♥♥点东西
- That dress I've always wanted. - Something for Jason.
- 什么 - 什么
- What? - What?
第二阶段：愤怒
莱蒂西亚 我是里奇小姐
Leticia, it's miss Ricky.
不 不 房♥子非常干净 谢谢你
No, no. The house is very clean, thank you.
但这不是我打给你的原因
But that's not why I'm calling.
你是不是在厨房♥的抽屉里
Did you take something of mine
拿了我什么东西
from the desk drawer in the kitchen?
你知道我在说什么 立马告诉我在哪
You know what I'm talking about! Where is it?!
没 我这不是在冲你喊 不是的
No, I'm not yelling. I'm not yelling.
我也知道你们一家人在教堂里
And I know that you are at church with your family,
但是里奇小姐需要她的香烟
but Miss Ricky needs her smokes.
你知道这都是你的错 对吧
You know this is all your fault, right?
如果你把千年猎鹰号♥放在我家让我保管
If you would have just let me keep the falcon at my house,
它绝对不会坏的
this never would have happened.
呃 我不让你保管这个
Um, the reason why I didn't let you
是因为千年猎鹰号♥大部分都是我组装的
keep the falcon at your house is 'cause I built most of it.
开什么玩笑
Are you kidding me?
这全都是我弄的
This was all me.
两个塔楼都是我建的 两个!
I built both turrets. Both turrets!
这可是个细致活哈
That's detailed work, man.
而我建的时候你却只是坐在那里
Meanwhile, you were just sitting there
不停把玩那些已经装备好的枪
sticking on pre-assembled guns
还翻着你从老爸衣橱里发现的
and reading those dirty magazines
那些黄色杂♥志♥
that you found in dad's closet.
我觉得那时候我是唯一一个对女人感兴趣的人
I guess I was the only one interested in women back then.
我那时才十岁
I was ten.
像个女孩
Like a girl.
神马
What?!
十岁和女孩有毛关系
How can you be ten like a girl?
还是你的错
Still your fault.
告诉你 这不是我的错
It's not my fault, by the way.
哇哦
Whoa.
没搞错吧
Really?
哦 等 等等 我刚刚发现
Oh! W-wait! Wait! I just realized something.
什么
What?
你丢东西的时候像个女孩
You throw like a girl.
我把你扑倒的时候也像个女孩么
Do I tackle like a girl?
为什么不回我短♥信♥
Why aren't you texting me back?!
手♥机♥不小心掉地上了
Dropped my phone by accident.
滑不溜秋的笨蛋
Slippery little sucker.
你们继续
Carry on.
就是个高腰的裙子
So, anyway, the dress has an empire waist,
有很漂亮的自♥由♥女神印花
and it's this gorgeous Liberty print,
裙边是斜着裁剪的
and the skirt is cut on a bias.
虽然我不懂你在说什么但是感觉好厉害的样子
I don't know what any of that means, but they sound great.
我觉得我就只把钱给杰森就好了