副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S02E09

Part 2 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:53 p.m.

斯威夫特女士
Hey, Ms. Swift.
甘比先生有个人想见你
Mr. Gamby, there's-- there's a man here to see you.
他说他带来了一只老虎
He says he's with a tiger.
-老虎 -妈的斯威夫特女士
- A fucking tiger? - God damn it, Swift.
你一来找我准没好事
Every time you come around, something annoying happens.
我觉得最好是放在这里
My best bet's gonna be in here,
让老虎待在一个
keeping the animal in an area
能被隔离被控制的地方
that can be isolated and controlled
这样它就不可能被放走了
in the unlikely event that the creature's set loose.
我根本想不懂
Now, I have no fucking idea how
怎么会有这种事情
something like that would ever fucking happen,
但我也要尽职尽责
but I gotta dot my "I's."
好吧可我们的毕业典礼不需要活老虎
Okay, well, we're not gonna need a live tiger for graduation.
那是以前的校长订的
That was ordered by the old principal.
他是个好炫耀的人
He was a man obsessed with showboating.
我不管马上送回去也可以
Yeah, I don't give a shit. Tiger comes, tiger goes.
我还是要拿到我的两万五千块
I still get my 25 large.
两万五他花了那么多钱吗
25 fucking grand? That's how much he spent?
-那当然 -把老虎留下吧
- You bet. - Tiger stays.
好的
Yes.
甘比说你是个作家
So, Gamby says you're a writer.
天啊不是的我不是作家
Oh god, no, I'm not a writer.
我曾经尝试过但没成功
I mean, I gave it a go, but hm-mmm.
你应该写写看到开头就猜到结局的书
You should write Nicholas Sparks books.
她一下就能猜到
She rips right through them.
男生女生都能来参加毕业派对是谁想出来的
Hey, whose bright idea was it to make the grad party coed?
我只是告诉贾内尔可以把朋友都叫来
I just told Janelle she could invite all her friends.
这对他们来说可是大事
It's a really big deal for them.
是啊那个一直在她身边
Right. Well, who's that one little jackass
蹦蹦哒哒的小傻子是谁
that keeps bouncing around by her?
-是科林 -可能是她男朋友
- That's Colin. - He may be her boyfriend.
她点赞了他很多条推特
She's been liking a lot of his Twitters.
-他看起来挺聪明的 -他很聪明
- I think he looks cute. - He is cute.
真聪明想疯狂干我的女儿
Yeah, real cute, trying to 69 my daughter's brains out.
-尼尔天啊 -我的天啊
- Neal! Jesus! - Jesus Christ.
我这就去把那个小王八蛋丢出去
I'm about to throw that little motherfucker outta here.
-科林必须走 -你不许去
- Colin is gone. - No, you're not.
-我要去 -别这样放松放松
- Yup, yup. - Nope, nope, nope. Relax, relax, relax.
拜托让他们好好玩吧冷静一下
Please, just let them have fun. Settle down.
-吃块饼干吗 -不吃
- Want a cookie? - No.
真是个奇迹
That's a goddamn miracle.
-怎么了 -他听你的
- What? - He listens to you.
"他听你的"
"He listens to you."
你还好吗
Are you okay?
我没事我感觉很好
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Yeah, feel good.
我女儿就要从中学毕业了
My daughter's graduating middle school.
我终于和心上人在一起了
I finally got the girl.
我也得到了向往的工作
I got the job of my dreams.
-我很振奋 -是吗
- Stoked. - Oh yeah?
你看起来可不怎么振奋
You don't look stoked.
说吧怎么了
Come on, what's wrong?
我就是忘不掉李背叛了我
I just can't shake the idea that Lee betrayed me.
你知道吗我还以为我们是真正的朋友
You know? I thought we were real friends.
我知道很难相信
I know. It's crazy,
但你不能再因为他而消沉了
but you can't let him bring you down anymore.
试着向前看试着忘掉他
Try and move on, try and get him out of your head.
而且你还要策划一场毕业典礼呢
Besides, you have a graduation to orchestrate.
-那是相当厉害呢 -非常厉害
- That is pretty cool. - Very cool.
不是谁都能策划毕业典礼的
Not just anybody can orchestrate a graduation.
那是留给校长的
That's a job for a principal.
好了想想想一想
All right, think. Just think.
想一想罗素想想
Think there, Russell. Think.
你是我认识的最聪明的人李
You're the smartest person I know, Lee.
最大嫌犯
死敌
阴谋论
你是我认识的最聪明的人
You're the smartest person I know.
你一直都很聪明
You've always been smart.
谁陷害了你有人比你更聪明
Who framed you? Someone outsmarted you.
是谁想想想想想想
Who did it? Think, think, think, think, think.
想想快想
Think, think. Just think.
快他妈想想想
Fucking think! Think! Think!
冷静
Calm down.
想想有人把面具放在你车里
Think. Someone put the mask in your car.
面具面具在后备箱里
The mask. The mask. It was in the trunk.
面具在车的后备箱里
It was in the trunk of your car.
他们把面具放在你...
They put the mask in the trunk of your...
-打开窗 -前妻车子的后备箱里
- Open the window. - ...my ex-wife's car.
你来干什么
What the hell are you doing here?
是你放的
You put it in the trunk.
贱♥人♥
Bitch!
珍你怎么来了
Jen, what the hell are you doing here?
就是想把你落在我家的东西送过来
Just wanted to bring by some things that you left at my house.
我没有东西落在你家
I didn't leave anything at your house.
真的吗那这是什么
Really? Then what are these?
那不是我的那是小孩的短裤
Those are not my panties. Those are little boys' underwear.
好吧谁在乎呢
Fine. Who cares?
你还好吗
Are you okay?
上学期你离开我的时候我的脑子里一团糟
When you left me last semester, it fucked up my head.
但把你追回来之后我就恢复平静了
But then I got you back and then I felt at peace again,
但现在所有的事情这一切...
but now, all this stuff, all this--
你和斯♥诺♥格拉斯
you and Snodgrass,
我的脑子又乱糟糟的
and I'm fucked in my head again.
唯一能治好的办法就是咱俩结婚
And the only thing that's gonna fix that is if me and you get married.
我们是不会结婚的珍好吗
Okay, well, we're not gonna get married, Jen, okay?
我很抱歉把你的脑子搞乱
And I'm very sorry for fucking you inside of your head.
我不是故意的
I didn't mean to do that.
听我说这一年过得很辛苦
Look, this year has been very tough.
我做了很多令我后悔的事情
I've done a lot of shit that I've regretted,
伤害你当然也在其列
and hurting you is definitely one of 'em.
我能用一下你家的厕所吗
Can I just go in your house and use the bathroom for a minute?
当然可以我得去准备毕业典礼了
Oh yeah, of course you can. I gotta get ready for graduation.
谢谢我不会撇大条我只想进去待一会
Thanks. I'm not gonna shit, though. I just wanna go in for a second.
就算撇大条也没事
Even if you do make a poop,
用水冲干净就好
just flush it, make sure it goes away.
谢谢尼尔
Thanks, Neal.
你真好
That's sweet.
我只是进去待一会
I'll just see how it goes in there.
罗素不行先生
Russell. No, sir.
-给我滚出去 -我知道
- Get the fuck outta here. - I know.
我知道你说过再也不想见到我
I know you said you never wanna see me again.
在我心里你已经死了快走
You're dead to me. Leave.
听我说
Just listen to me!
我知道我说什么你都不会相信
I know that you don't believe a word that comes out of my mouth,
但不是我开的枪甘比
but I didn't shoot you, Gamby.
-是 -罗素
- It was... - Russell.
她
her.
你这个疯婆子是你干的不是吗
You crazy fucking bitch. You did it, didn't you?
-到底怎么回事 -不是你吗
- What the fuck is going on here? - Didn't you?
承认吧是的就是你
Admit it. Yes, you did it.
你脸上那微笑
That little smile on your fucking face.
你把面具放在了我的车里不是吗
You put the mask in my car, didn't you?
你嫉妒我和甘比的关系承认吧
You were jealous of mine and Gamby's relationship. Just say it.
阿尔伯特就是朝你开枪的人甘比
Abbott is your shooter, Gamby.
这个疯婆子她开枪打中了你
This crazy bitch, she shot you that--
我♥操♥
God damn it!
操
Fuck!
-珍搞什么 -你伤害了我甘比
- Jen, what the fuck? - You hurt me, Gamby,
有人伤害我时我就会非常非常伤心
and when people hurt me, I get really, really sad.
你杀了罗素
You killed Russell!
是我知道我讨厌死他了
Yes, I know! I fucking hated him.
是我行了吗现在我要杀了你再自杀