副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S02E01

Part 2 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:50 p.m.

Oh, and the landscape guy called.
你是怎么跟他说的
And what did you tell him?
我告诉他你想要最大最高级的锦鲤池
I told him you wanted the biggest, fanciest koi pond they have.
我要看着水哗哗淌
I want to see the water flow!
我爱你宝贝
I love you, baby!
我得挂了
Gotta go!
我来
I got it.
我把他的止痛药带来了
Brought his painkillers.
-你真是我的救星李 -不雷
- You're a lifesaver, Lee. - No, Ray...
这些才是你的救星[口哨糖品牌]
These are Life Savers.
黄油朗姆酒味你还记得
Butter rum. You remembered.
尼尔你的药贩子来了
Hey, Neal, your drug dealer is here!
你看上去很累盖尔
You look tired, Gale.
我们的病人把你怎么了
How's our little invalid treating you?
他真是个大♥麻♥烦
He's a pain in my ass.
你去休息会吧
Well, you go get some rest.
我来接手
I'll take it from here.
你脸上的皱纹
There are more lines on your face
比东京交通地图上的线路都多
than a Tokyo road map.
尼尔
Neal?
我吃两颗
Two for me.
尼尔·甘比吃一颗
And one for Neal Gamby.
我才不要你的人造止痛药
I don't need your artificial painkillers.
我看我的鸭子就好
I have my ducks.
看看它们画面多么祥和
Look at 'em. So peaceful.
我真是很享受这两周一次的相会
I really enjoy these biweekly rendezvous.
罗素
Russell!
你♥他♥妈♥在干嘛
What the fuck are you doing?
那是一条新鲜的面包罗素
That's a new loaf of bread, Russell!
它们会被包装纸噎住的
They're gonna choke on the wrapper.
我才不管这些鸭子会怎样
I don't give a fuck about these ducks.
你知道我为什么会过来
Now, you know why I'm here.
我的回答还是不行
Answer's still no.
尼尔·甘比应该待在北杰克逊高中
Neal Gamby belongs at North Jackson High School,
而不是宅在家看囊胞性纤维症广♥告♥
not some cystic fibrosis commercial.
难道没有人得囊胞性纤维症吗
Ain't nobody got cystic fibrosis?
可能你还没有被确诊吧
Maybe you haven't been diagnosed yet.
难道你就不能一个人当校长吗
What, you can't be principal all by yourself?
我当得可好了
Oh, trust me, I'm doing fine.
我在学校就像是个著名的国王
I'm like a fucking famous king over there.
我就像是法老王图坦卡蒙
I'm like King Tut.
图坦卡蒙是被毒死的
King Tut died 'cause he was poisoned.
关我屁事反正我是国王
I don't give a shit. I'm the king!
真高兴一切都那么顺利因为我很忙
Glad that things are going good 'cause I'm busy.
-我在追击贝琳达·布朗 -又来了
- I'm hunting Belinda Brown. - Again with this.
你听到警♥察♥们说的了
You heard what the cops said.
枪手只是偷音响的是你吓到了他
It was a stereo thief and you spooked him.
拜托你真的相信这个说法吗
Come on, do you really believe that?
当然不信
No, of course not.
某人烧了我们的车还把你打爆菊了
Precious torched our cars and popped a fucking cap in your ass.
但你要告诉警♥察♥这些吗
But is that what you're gonna tell the cops?
你想让他们发现我们做的所有蠢事吗
You want them to uncover all the fucked up shit that we did?
是时候了
Now, it's time.
你得朝前走了
You need to move forward.
我该怎么向前走罗素
How am I supposed to move forward, Russell?
我他妈都没法走路
I can't even fucking walk.
我瘸了
I'm crippled.
我都认不出你来了
I don't even recognize you anymore.
你干嘛不洗个澡
Why don't you take a fucking bath?
你臭得像整天
You stink like a fucking finger
插在菊花里的手指
that's been stuck up an ass all day.
她不付出代价我是没法向前看的
I just can't move forward until she pays the price.
等我找到她了
When I finally find her,
我会走近她给她看我的双手
I will approach her, and I'll show her my hands
然后我会说"我没有武器"
and I'll say "I have no weapons."
之后我就会问她
And then I'll ask her,
"朝我开枪你内疚吗"
"Do you feel bad about shooting me?"
她可以肯定或否定
She can say yay or nay.
而我的回答始终是同一个 "我也内疚"
My response will be the same for each: "So am I."
射她肩膀
Shoot her in her shoulder,
射她臀
shoot her in her hip,
-炸飞她的车以牙还牙 -"我也内疚"
- blow up her vehicle, even-stevens. - "So am I"?
这怎么能算是回答了
How is that even a response to
"朝我开枪你内疚吗"这个问题呢
"Do you feel bad about shooting me"?
你语法都错了
It should be, "So do I."
你别管我我和鸭子们呆着就好
Just leave me alone with my birds.
别管你我才不会让你继续和它们呆着
Leave you alone? I'm not gonna leave you with your birds.
-我不能别罗素 -你没瘸
- I can't-- Stop, Russell! - You're not a cripple!
甘比你是笼中困兽
Gamby, you're a caged beast.
现在是时候放这头野兽出来耍耍了
Well, it's time for that beast to come out and play!
罗素
Russell!
你到底在干嘛罗素
What the fuck are you doing, Russell?
你问我在干什么吗
The fuck you mean what am I doing?
起来
Get up!
你♥他♥妈♥快起来
Get your fat ass up!
你没发现吗
Don't you see?
你一直在推开所有人
You're pushing everybody away.
你已经推开了斯♥诺♥格拉斯
Now, you've already done it to Snodgrass
你也要把我推开了
and you're about to do the same thing to me.
如果你现在不站起来...
If you don't stand up right now...
你特么的不给老子站起来的话
Get off your fat fucking ass right now!
-停下 -我就和你绝交
- Stop! - ...I'm done with you!
站起来
Now get up!
你就像头搁浅的鲸鱼
Like a beached whale.
真没种
What a pussy.
这才是我所认识与深爱的勇猛野兽之子
Now that is the savage son of a beast I know and love.
勇往直前
雷
尼尔祝你早日康复
爱你的阿曼达
欢迎回来甘比先生
Welcome back, Mr. Gamby.
你想在好位置停车吗
Don't you want to park in the good spot?
-你指残疾人车位 -对
- The handicapped spot? - Well, yeah.
我不需要任何特别待遇
I don't need any special treatment.
谨代表优等生联合会
On behalf of the Honor Society,
我们被您的英雄气概和勇敢所折服
we would like to thank you for your heroism and bravery
并送上慰问花篮以表谢意
with this get well basket.
我已经康复了你们留着吧
I've already got myself well. Keep it.
我们会帮你拿进去的
We'll carry it in for you.
-金属探测器 -没错
- Metal detectors? - Yeah.
事故发生后就装了
Ever since the incident.
难道我们是在警♥察♥局上学吗
What, do we live in a damn police state now?
接下来呢在我们的脑门上贴条形码吗
What's next, barcodes stamped on our flippin' foreheads?
-你又是哪位 -威罗警官
- Who in the hell are you? - Officer Willows.
由当地警局任命派遣预防意外发生
Appointed by the local PD. Trained to prevent incidents.
那个红丝带是怎么回事
What's going on with that red ribbon there?
现在是乳腺癌关爱月吗
Is it titty cancer awareness month?
不甘比先生这个是为你而戴的
No, Mr. Gamby. That there is for you,
象征着你流过的鲜血
to symbolize the blood you spilled.
先生你是一位真正的英雄
You, sir, are a true hero.
就是这样快点快进去吧
That's right. Come on now, get in there.
小心你的臀
Take it easy on that hip.
可能是因为我的手表
Probably my watch?
没关系你没问题
Oh, that's all right, baby. You're good.
快点快进来
Come on now. Get your asses in there.
音乐开始他马上就到了
Cue the music please. He's almost here.
*你还会记得我的名字吗*
*Would you know my name*
欢迎回家尼尔·甘比
Welcome home, Neal Gamby.
*如果我在天堂遇见你的话*
*If I saw you in heaven*
*你还与从前一样吗*
*Would you be the same*
*如果我在天堂遇见你的话*
*If I saw you in heaven*
这是在做什么
What is this?
为你办的英雄欢迎会