副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S02E04

Part 1 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:52 p.m.

副校长第二季第四集
我和李有些事要讨论
Lee and I have some issues to discuss.
门开着还是关上
Open or closed?
-开着 -关上
- Open. - Closed.
他说要关上
He said to do closed.
《副校长》前情提要
你们大概在奇怪我为什么过来一起坐
You all are probably wondering why I'm sitting with you.
李·罗素是个王八蛋
Lee Russell is an asshole.
这还用说
No shit.
他叫我代比尔·海登的历史课
He's got me substitute teaching history class.
你读过大学吗
You even go to college?
我当然读过大学
Yes. I went to college.
你当年SAT考了多少分
What were your SAT scores?
我认为我的SAT分数与你们无关
I think my SAT scores are none of your business.
老师们都非常恨你处处取笑你
The teachers definitely hate you and mock you at every turn.
小丁丁国王
King Ding-a-Ling?
我设置成手♥机♥墙纸了
So, I made it my wall paper.
我是校长
I am the Principal.
我本来也能当校长的...
Uh, I was supposed to be Principal too, so...
对可你中枪了
Yes... But, then you got shot.
你当时崩溃了是我拯救了你
You were broken and I brought you back.
最邪恶的罪行...
Most mischievous foul sin...
这算什么人生
What a life is this,
你可怜的朋友们还得争取你的陪伴
that your poor friends must woo your company?
傻瓜傻瓜
A fool, a fool!
我在林中遇到一个傻瓜
I met a fool in the forest,
一个小丑在一个悲惨世界中
a motley fool, in a miserable world!
出自莎士比亚的《皆大欢喜》
好了听着听着听着
All right. Listen, listen, listen, listen!
我的好友琼尼·米歇尔曾说
My good friend Joni Mitchell once said,
"哭与笑" 闭嘴玛姬
"Laughing and crying..." And shut up, Maggie!
"是同种解脱"
"...is the same release."
思考思考思考思考
Think, think, think, think, think, think.
塞舌尔
Seychelles!
塞舌尔
Seychelles!
你在哪兄弟
Where are you, big boy?
塞舌尔
Seychelles!
出来吧出来吧不管你在哪
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
塞舌尔
Seychelles.
塞舌尔我看到你的红帽子了
Seychelles. I see you in that red hat!
立刻出来
Get out here, right now!
团建必须参加这是罗素的命令
Team-building is mandatory, Russell says so.
有点同情心行不行我工作这么多
Have a heart. I have all this work to do, you know that.
-塞舌尔 -你不明白
- Seychelles-- - You don't understand!
-你又不是艺术家 -你给我出去
- You're not an artist! - Get the fuck out!
快点女士们
Move it, ladies!
只要激♥情♥够没什么是实现不了的
If we are passionate, there is nothing we cannot accomplish.
力量在于速度和力度加油
Power is speed and force. Let's go!
这帮人把老师当希伯来奴隶在训练
These guys are working the teachers like Hebrew slaves.
汗狗是世界上最好的团建公♥司♥
SweatDogs are the best team-building company in the world.
他们还服务过日本企业
They've even done it for Japanese corporations.
你看塞舌尔那家伙
Look at Seychelles's ass.
慌慌乱乱浑身臭汗跟个婊♥子♥似的
Flustered, sweating, and looking like a bitch.
-你在干什么 -别看我
- What are you doing? - Don't look at me.
-起来不能摔倒 -别看我
- Get up. We don't fall over. - Don't look at me.
请站起来先生
On your feet, sir!
我做不到太沉了
I can't do it. It's too heavy.
太沉了吗看来最弱的找到了
It's too heavy? Well, we've identified the weak one.
戴着围脖的男人
The man in the infinity scarf.
这样才能让人守规矩甘比
That's how you keep people in line, Gamby.
要挑战他们的极限
You push them to the limits.
够了他已经尽力了
That's enough. He's trying his best.
将他们完全击倒
Break them down to nothing.
我觉得你应该回去
I think you should get back
-做你该做的事 -别碰我
- to doing what you were doing. - Don't touch me.
再将他们重塑成你想要的样子
And rebuild them into whatever you want.
这也太狠了吧老大
Pretty diabolical there, boss.
人中之王的感觉真好
It's good to be the king.
我刚刚见到了我这辈子见过的
What I just witnessed: the most obnoxious,
最讨厌最自负
arrogant, out-of-shape group of teachers
最不成样的一群老师
that I have ever seen in my life.
而我们经常跟特殊奥♥运♥会合作
And we work with the Special Olympics!
不然你觉得我为什么找你们
Well, why do you think I fuckin' called you?
你们戴着贝雷帽
Huh? You got your fuckin' berets.
穿着背心
You got your tank tops.
难道不是为了改造人们吗
Isn't it to whip people into shape?
别担心我们希望进行一些
Don't worry, don't worry. We like to implement
关于基本信仰和价值观的非自愿式再教育
involuntary reeducation of basic beliefs and values
来适应贵校的学校文化
to adjust to your institution's philosophy.
-就是洗♥脑♥ -不是洗♥脑♥
- Hmm. So brainwashing. - It's not brainwashing.
这叫思维转变
We call it... Think-change.
肖恩想出来的名字
Shawn came up with that term.
我以前胖得跟猪似的
I used to be fat as fuck,
但我改变了生活方式和心态
but I had to change my lifestyle and my mindset
练出了一身肌肉
to get jacked and pumped.
思维转变
Think-change.
-朋友你太酷了 -说对了
- You, my friend, are fuckin' cool! - You're damn right.
干什么简尼斯
What, Janice?
没看我在跟汗狗们聊天吗
Can't you see I'm talking to these SweatDogs?
很抱歉...
Oh, I'm very sorry to...
-打扰了 -那你怎么还在打扰
- interrupt. - Then why are you interrupting?
你的妻子打来电♥话♥
Your wife called,
说是有急事
and, um, it's urgent.
出了什么急事罗素
So, what's the emergency, Russell?
我父亲过世了
My father passed away.
我♥操♥
Aw, shit.
我很遗憾罗素你们关系好吗
I'm sorry, Russell. Were you guys close?
不好
No.
我爸是海军队长
He was a Navy captain, my daddy.
爷们中的纯爷们
A fuckin' man's man.
他给予了我两个姐姐无限关爱
He showered my two older sisters with all the affection.
她们长成了假小子
They grew up to be tomboys,
喜欢体育和车
interested in sports and cars.
他从来都是更以她们俩为荣而不是我
He was always more proud of them than he ever was of me.
这么惨
That's tough.
你真的很可怜
That's real tough.
我理解你的感受
I know how it is.
是吗你♥爸♥也是个看不起你的混♥蛋♥吗
Really? Your father was an asshole who looked down on you too?
那倒不是
I mean... not really.
其实他一直很支持我的所有努力
Actually, he supported me in all my endeavors,
我人生的每一步他都陪着我
was there for me pretty much every step of the way.
搞什么鬼
What the fuck?
你♥他♥妈♥根本不懂我在经历什么甘比
You have no fuckin' idea what I'm going through, Gamby!
但我还是非常非常同情你的
Well, I still really, really pity you.
有什么我能做的吗
Is there anything I can do?
有
Yes.
我不在的时候由你来主持大局
I need you to run Jackson while I'm gone.
仅此一天
For a day.
你能做到吗别搞砸
You think you can do that without fuckin' it up?
相信我好吗我什么都能处理
Trust me, okay? I can handle anything.
-你能对付这群懒鬼教师吗 -可以
- Can you handle these lazy, fuckin' teachers? - Yeah.
别让他们离开团建工作区
Don't let them get out of the team-building workshops either.
我给了汗狗很多钱教他们服从
I paid these SweatDogs good money to beat them into submission.
不参与的人都给我记下
If they don't participate, you write them up.
-强制参加懂了简单 -还要罚款
- Mandatory attendance. Got it. Easy. - And a fine.
还有罚款
And a fine.
瞧瞧
Look at that.
明天
Come tomorrow,
你就是北杰克逊高中校长了
you will be principal of North Jackson high school.
仅此一天
For a day.
真高兴能再见你的两个姐姐
It'll be nice to see your sisters again.