副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S02E06

Part 1 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:53 p.m.

副校长第二季第六集
马上就会大面♥积♥反抗了
There's a full-on revolt coming.
《副校长》前情提要
你就是个不受人尊敬的失败者
You're a loser who commands no respect whatsoever.
我尊敬他
I respect him.
这所学校有过更差的时候
This school has had worse.
你必须得带个辣妹来
You need to bring a hot date.
让斯♥诺♥格拉斯看到你已经放手了
Show Snodgrass you're over it.
我有个大计划
I have a master plan.
我认为你该继续寻找
I think you should just keep searching around
找个更可靠的出版商
for a publisher that's more suitable.
一头秀发还没秃的那种
One that has a full head of hair.
-你这到底是怎么了 -二位
- What has gotten into you? - Hey guys...
上大学时我跟凯文约会
In college, when Kevin and I were dating,
你说他是同性恋
you said he was gay.
别再编谎话了
Stop making up lies.
不
Don't--
喜欢我的小礼物吗
D'you like my little present?
我给他的饮料里加了点料
I roofied in his drink.
想回我那里去吗
You wanna go back to my place?
好
Yep.
前门监控
你怎么一个人罗素呢
Why are you alone? Where's Russell?
来不了
Couldn't make it.
他得挽救一下婚姻了
I think he had to work on his marriage.
什么鬼他应该来的
What the fuck? Russell's supposed to be here!
他有破事我都会出面支持的
I always show up for his shit.
他这么自私我特么真是够了
I'm getting sick and tired of him being so goddamn selfish.
我自己也做了点小调查
Well, I've been doing some digging on my own,
我觉得可能已经破案了
and I think I might have cracked the case.
数据分♥析♥显示
Statistics show the prep is usually
害你的应该是和你亲近的人
someone who's close to you.
有可能是跟你有过恋爱关系的人
Perhaps someone you were romantically involved with.
我猜是你的前妻盖尔
My guess, it's your ex-wife Gale.
没错
Yeah.
老天听着
Jesus Christ! Look...
我知道你热衷于帮我破案
I know you've expressed an interest in helping me solve my case,
我就由着你了但这根本毫无胜算
and I have indulged that, but this is hopeless.
拜托头儿我们可以破案的
Come on, boss, no. We can solve this case.
不破了罗素都不来了
Case is closed. Russell doesn't even show up anymore.
什么鬼甘比
What the fuck, Gamby?
我们只是在房♥间里聊天我们只是朋友
We were just hanging out. We're just friends.
不关我事头儿
Uh, none of my business, boss.
你说得没错纳什管好你的嘴
You're goddamn right, Nash. Okay, zip your lips.
你什么都没看到
You didn't see a goddamn thing here.
纳什你心知肚明看到了什么
Hey, Nash, you know what you saw.
我们在恋爱
We're in love.
才没有
No, we're not.
《副校长》
第二季第六集
我能吃块饼干吗
Could I have a biscuit, please?
宝贝夫妻可不能这么过日子
Babydoll, this is no way for a married couple to live.
-我同意 -如果你同意
- I agree. - Well, if you agree,
为什么不遵从医生的建议呢
then why aren't you following the therapist's advice?
我们应该沟通交流
We're supposed to be communicating.
波蒂诺医生还说
Dr. Portino also said
我们应该试着对彼此无条件忠诚
that we should be practicing unconditional honesty.
很好诚实测试
Fine. Honesty Check.
煎鸡蛋硬到爆味道也很差
These scrambled eggs are hard as hell, and they taste wretched.
看到了吗诚实未必永远是上策
See? Honesty is not always the best policy.
不就是永远的上策
Nope. It is the best policy. Always.
我还能继续
I can keep going.
诚实测试
Honesty check.
我还在生你的气
I still have anger towards you.
其实今天早上我在淋浴间自♥慰♥的时候
In fact, I cursed your name earlier
才刚刚诅咒过你内心还隐隐希望
when I was masturbating in the shower and secretly hoped
我们今早用不着见面
that we wouldn't have to see each other this morning.
好了该我了
Okay. My turn.
诚实测试来吧放马过来
Honesty check. Let's go. Bring it on.
我也不想见你
I didn't want to see you either.
我待在淋浴间
I stayed in the shower
希望出来的时候你已经走了
hoping you'd be gone by the time I got out.
看看我们俩
Look at us.
我们真是一对超会解决问题的
Just a couple of honest Abes
诚实亚伯夫妇呢
working it the fuck out.
林肯总统别称
看到吗说实话更好
See? It's better to tell the truth,
即便会让人觉得不舒服
even if it is uncomfortable sometimes.
我也能对米莎坦诚点吗
Can I be honest with Mi-Cha, too?
你应该对所有人坦诚
You should be honest with everyone.
米莎你真是毫无生气
Mi-Cha, you look like death warmed over.
我每次看到你都特么没胃口
Every time I look at you, I lose my fucking appetite.
该死
Goddamn!
感觉好多了
Woo! That felt good!
我们应该一开始就这样
This is what we should have been doing all along.
你知道吗我今晚特别想给你做晚餐
You know what else? I honestly want to cook you dinner tonight.
你能允许吗
Would you let me do that?
你什么时候也下厨房♥了
Since when do you cook?
我从最棒的书里学的《妙厨贝蒂》
I learned from one of the best, Betty Crocker.
诚实测试
Honesty check.
好吧这算是约会
Okay. Sure. It's a date.
约会
A date.
-约会 -你也可以去因为我爱你
- Date? - You can be there too because I love you.
我想感谢大家都能抽出时间来
And I just want to thank everyone who donated their time.
非常感谢
It was really appreciated.
多亏你们
Now, thanks to you,
4H俱乐部的前途光明到
the 4H Club's future is so bright...
需要戴墨镜
they gotta wear shades.
谢谢你们太棒了谢谢
Thank you. You guys have been great. Thank you.
请原谅甘比
You'll have to forgive Gamby.
他可能撞坏了脑子
I think he might have hit his head.
他以为自己在格林威治村的喜剧俱乐部呢
He thinks he's in a comedy club in Greenwich Village.
聚集着众多艺术工作者为美国文艺潮藐的发生地
像乌比·戈德堡[著名演员]
You know, like, uh, like Whoopi Goldberg?
之类的
Something like that?
你们知道我说的是谁
You know who I'm talking about.
所以不论如何
So, uh, anyway,
又到了每年的这个时候了
it's that time of year again,
我们要开展高中评估项目了
for the High School Assessment Program.
各位都很清楚它的意义
And you know what that means.
学生们需要参加一场不重要的考试
The students get to take a test that doesn't really matter.
真的有人笑吗随便吧
Oh, oh, really. That gets a laugh? Okay, whatever.
不是蕾吉娜其实
Uh, no, Regina, actually,
孩子们在高评项目的表现
how the kids score on the HSAPs
会影响学校整个学年的资金所以意义重大
affects our funding for the year, so it means a lot.
我需要一些人
Now I'm gonna need some of
自愿担任本次考试的学监
you to volunteer to be proctors for the test.
测试不是关乎学习的吗
Shouldn't tests be about learning?
没错米尔纳
It is, Mr. Milner.
要让整个地区知道我们学校有多高效
It's about the district learning what an effective school we are
以及我这位校长有多牛逼
and what an awesome fucking principal I am.
什么鬼
What the fuck?
你是要公开藐视我吗
Hey, man, why you trying to throw shade?
没人藐视你
Ain't nobody throwing shade.
继续讲故事吧
Why don't you continue with your story.
罗素你简直像独♥裁♥者
You're acting like a dictator, Russell.
马丁你特么快闭上你的狗嘴
Shove it up your tight little ass, Martin!
就因为刚刚那一出你知道后果吗
Just for that, you know what you are?
你特么就是学监了
You're a goddamn proctor now.
说点别的拜托说点别的
Say something else. Come on, say it.
我宣布校内不允许戴围巾
I'll outlaw fucking scarves in this school.
高评项目要开始了
Now the HSAPs are coming,
我们要用尽全力准备
and we're gonna prep for 'em like our life depended on it.