副校长（2016）

Vice Principals S02E04

Part 2 Aug. 22, 2020, 8:52 p.m.

好几年没见了
We haven't seen them in ages.
她们的儿子们现在肯定都长大了
Their boys must be all grown up by now.
她们的四个孩子在一起
All four of their kids together
就像个弱智版希♥特♥勒♥青年组织
look like a retarded Hitler youth group.
该死不
Oh, fuck, no!
克里斯汀
Christine,
我的葬礼专用黑色西装上有个白点
I have a white stain on my special black funeral suit!
这么小很难注意到的
It's so small, you can hardly notice it.
我姐姐们会注意到一切问题
My sisters notice everything.
琳恩会说这像是个干掉的精斑
Lynn will say that this looks like dried-up cum,
莱西也会说这就是个干掉的精斑
and Lacey will say that it is dried-up cum.
你知道她们是怎样对我的克里斯汀
You know how my sisters are towards me, Christine!
但那都是过去的事了
Yeah, but everything's closed.
-现在没事了 -可是...
- Nothing's open now. - But...
没人会注意到你的西装
Nobody's going to be noticing your suit.
你是去缅怀你父亲的一生
You're there to celebrate your father's life.
这一点也不像干掉的精斑
It doesn't look like dried-up cum.
好吧
Okay.
副校长车位
校长车位
妈的
God damn it.
每个人都将享有自♥由♥和公正
...with liberty and justice for all.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
早上好一日校长
Good morning, boss for the day.
甘比校长
Principal Gamby.
-你们在干什么 -我们刚刚升了旗
- What do you two think you are doing? - We just raised the flag,
打开大门迎接学生
getting the doors open for business.
你们不觉得我想来升旗吗纳什
You don't think I would have wanted to raise the flag, Nash?
通常是罗素来的但我们不知道你也...
Russell usually does it, but we didn't know that you were--
你说的这叫什么话纳什
Listen to what you're saying, okay, Nash.
通常由罗素升旗因为他是校长
Russell usually does it because he's the principal.
我今天是什么身份我是校长啊纳什
What am I today? I'm the principal, Nash.
我当然想升旗
Of course I want to raise the flag!
你宣誓的时候
And why are you wearing a
为什么不脱帽纳什
hat when you're pledging allegiance, Nash?
我只见过一次你戴帽子
The one fuckin' time I've ever seen you with a hat,
就是在你升旗的时候
and it's when you're raising the flag.
你们俩连爱国都不会
You guys suck beans at being patriots.
甘比先生你九点要和后勤的哈罗德谈话
Mr. Gamby, you have a nine o'clock with Harold in maintenance,
九点半要和区里通话
and then you have a 9:30 phone call with the district,
午饭后要和学生会开会
and then after lunch, you have a meeting with student government.
哦对了
Oh, and, um,
这个是在做新课程设计提案的教师名单
here's the checklist of all the teachers doing new curriculum proposals.
你说得我恐慌症都快犯了
You're about to give me a fuckin' panic attack,
我要去校长室了好吗
and I'm just starting to get situated, okay.
别他妈来烦我了
Don't be fuckin' with my head!
抱歉...
I'm sorry, um...
大约七分钟以后晨间公告就要开始了
You have about seven minutes until morning announcements.
我还得干这个
I have to do that?
很好玩的
It'll be fun.
好的这个是提词器
Okay. This is a teleprompter.
能看清楚吗
Can you read okay?
-这些就是我要说的话吗 -是的
- These are the words that I'm to say? - Yes, it is.
好的轻轻松松好的
Okay. Easy fine. Cinch. Okay.
倒数之后就开始 3
I'm gonna give you a countdown and we're gonna start. Three.
-2 -2 1
- Two. - Two, one.
-1 -3 2 1 之后该干啥
- One. - Three, two, one, to do what?
该干啥开始念了吗我准备好了
To do what? To do the thing? I'm ready.
-开始 -行了闭嘴
- Go! - Fine. Shut up.
卧♥槽♥ 甘比老师上电视了
Oh shit, Mr. Gamby on TV.
下午好女士们
Good afternoon, ladies.
老虎们老虎们
Tigers. Tigers.
我是尼比校长...
I'm Principal Namby...
机器人俱乐部取消了下周四的月会
Robotics Club is canceling their monthly meetings next Thursday,
所以别再找借口去参加了
so, no reason to go to the meetings,
因为玩机器人的人都不会去
'cause no one who does robots is going to be there.
今天是米兰达·克拉克
Uh, today, is Miranda Clarke
和里奇·莱亚切的生日
and Ricky Leache's birthday.
生日是很特别的日子
It's a special time to have a birthday,
能和朋友们共同庆祝
to be able to celebrate with your friends.
甘比先生就像是中了风似的
Mr. Gamby looks like he's having a stroke.
提醒全体教员今天放学后
Uh, faculty is reminded that today after school,
继续与汗狗一起进行团建活动
team-building with the SweatDogs will continue.
必须参加
Attendance is mandatory.
在晨间公告的最后
And in the final words of every...
我要告诉大家
the stuff for the morning announcements,
不要因为
is that there is no fear
李·罗素不在学校
of anything slipping through the cracks
就担心会有漏网之鱼因为有我在
while Lee Russell is gone, because I am here,
人人都知道我能做个称职的校长
the principal that everyone knows that I can be,
所以学校交到了最厉害的人手中
so that the school is in the best hands that can ever to be in.
好了随便吧
Okay, anyway.
得由我来说结束吗停会有人喊停吗
Do I have to say that's it? Cut. Will someone say cut?
我坐在这儿满脸都是汗
I'm sitting here fuckin' sweating my face off.
我不知道这会不会他妈的...
I don't know if this is going to the fuckin'...
好了妈妈
Okay, Momma.
坐到你最喜欢的椅子上
Oh, let's go sit down in your favorite chair.
你看起来气色真好
You look so good!
我以前经常坐在这把椅子哄你睡觉
I used to rock you in this chair.
现在不行米莎
Not-not now, Mi-Cha.
米莎拜托
Mi-Cha, please!
坐到小餐桌去拜托你
Just go to the snack table, please.
好吗那里有... 拜托
Okay? Just... There's some... Please.
如果你需要什么妈妈就告诉我
If you need anything, Momma, please, just let me know.
真高兴你来了儿子
I'm just so glad you came, son.
我没想到你会来
I didn't think you would.
妈妈你怎么会这么想
Momma, why would you think that?
看看我找到了谁
Look who I found.
李
Lee!
你真的来了
You actually came.
我们都没想到你会来
We didn't think you'd make it.
为什么人人都觉得我不会来
I'm not so sure why everybody thought that I wasn't coming?
真是太扯了
That's just crazy.
你从来不打电♥话♥ 不发短♥信♥ 也不...
Well, you never called, or texted, or...
发邮件你还希望我们怎么想
e-mailed, so what did you expect us to think?
我希望你们俩都会认为
Well, I would expect you both to think
我会出席我亲爹的葬礼
that I would show up to my own daddy's funeral.
-别再让我难堪了行吗 -李·罗素
- Stop trying to make me look bad, okay? - Lee Russell.
别再挑事了别在这挑事
Don't you start up again, not here.
雪普特里普过来和舅舅打招呼
Shep! Tripp! Come and say hi to your uncle.
-阿利斯怀亚特进来 -快点
- Yeah, Arliss, Wyatt, get in here. - Come on.
进来
Get in here.
李舅舅你还是来了
Hey, Uncle Lee. You came after all.
琳恩和我在爸爸的葬礼上讲过话之后
After Lynn and I finish speaking at Dad's ceremony,
他们要用吉他弹一首哀曲
they are going to play a tribute on their guitars.
练习了好几周了
Been practicing for weeks.
天啊你们就像是个基♥督♥摇滚乐队
Oh my God, you look like a Christian rock band.
就是说人人在葬礼上都有事做除了我
So, everybody has a part in the ceremony, except for me?
我们还以为你不在乎
We didn't think you cared.
我们以为你不想参与
We assumed you wouldn't want to.
妈妈想喝一杯冰茶吗
Momma, would you like a nice cold cup of iced tea?
我去给你拿来我去
Yeah, I'll get you some, I'll get you some.
我来李我来
I got it. Lee, I got it.
-好吧随便吧 -对不起妈妈
- Fine. Whatever. - I'm sorry, Momma.
-对不起 -对不起妈妈
- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry, Momma.
孩子们扶...
Boys! Get--
-能聊聊吗李 -不能
- Can we speak to you for a moment, Lee? - No.
你为什么表现得这么讨厌
Why are you acting like a little bitch?
听好葬礼一切准备就绪
Look, we've got enough going on here with the funeral
而且我们要送妈妈去养老院
and moving Momma into a nursing home.
妈妈要去养老院
Momma's moving into a nursing home?