把妹大作战（2014）

Hey, what's brown and sticky? Whiffet!
什么棕色又黏黏 这只小狗
I thought you were gonna say the dog's poopies.
我本来以为你要说狗的粑粑
Yeah.
也对
Justin, Mo is my family. How would you like it
贾斯汀 小汽是我家人 如果我带你妈出去
if I took your mom out and I got her pregnant?
然后她怀孕了 你会怎么想
You know what, I would... I would really love that actually
我其实真的会...会很开心
because Beverly was really very lonely
因为贝弗莉她真的很孤单
and I would love to have a sibling, okay?
我很想要弟弟妹妹 好吗
Still, I remember watching Mo.
而且 我记得照顾小汽的那天
I didn't leave him out of my sight.
没让它离开我的视线
Except for that one hour I let Danny watch him.
除了我让丹尼照看它一小时
What? Dude. No, no, no. All I did was exactly what you told me.
什么 不 不 我只是按你说的做
I fed him, and then I let him out to do his business
喂他 放他出去干♥他♥的[拉粑粑]
and now I'm realizing that
我现在才意识到
do his business doesn't mean have sex. I'm sorry.
你的意思不是做♥爱♥ 抱歉
Well, Vince, the baby mama of Mo,
文斯 小汽孩子母亲的主人
his owner said I'm financially responsible.
他让我赔偿
No. You don't have to give Vince anything, all right?
不 你不必赔偿文斯
Who's even saying that they know for sure
谁又能敢肯定
that Mo is the real father.
小汽真是孩子的父亲
That would be me.
我敢
Yeah I mean, I agree with Vince, so...
没错 我同意文斯的话
On to the next investigation.
做下一项调查
Is the next investigation
下一项调查就是
the "Curious Case of Danny's Missing Balls"?
"丹尼男子力失踪迷案"吗
Whatever. You got pregnant at a dog park.
你管我 你都在狗狗公园怀孕了
Guys, I cannot believe it's Christmas Eve.
大家伙儿 我不敢相信现在是圣诞夜
It still feels to me like it's exactly December 11th.
我自己感觉还在12月11号♥[实际播出日]呢
Vince said that I need to pay $1,200 in puppy support.
文斯说我得付一千二的小狗抚养费
How am I supposed to afford that?
我怎么付得起呢
Oh, I have an idea.
我有个办法
How does Justin feel about sharing you?
贾斯丁介不介意和别人分享你
You're the scariest woman I've ever met.
你是我认识的最可怕的女人
Look, we got plan to help Candace.
我们有办法帮坎迪斯
Does it include terrifying children at the mall?
计划里包括商店里受到惊吓的小孩子吗
Why are you wearing the costumes?
你为什么穿戏服
Oh no, okay, the three of us are in costume, but Justin isn't.
不 我们仨穿了戏服 但贾斯丁没有
This is the time of year that he returns to his natural form and
他每年这个时候变回原形
flies north to make toys for kids.
北飞给孩子做玩具
No, I am not an elf! Elves aren't even real.
不 我不是精灵 精灵根本不存在
That's exactly what a real elf would tell us to try to throw us off the trail.
真正的精灵就会说这种话懵我们
Now you go make me an X-Box.
你现在给我做一台游戏机
Now look, here's what's gonna happen okay?
听着 接下来要这么行动
We're going to go to Vince's house as carolers.
我们要去文斯家唱颂歌♥
We're gonna start caroling alright? And we're gonna sing...
我们要开始唱颂歌♥ 好吗 我们要唱...
Especially Justin and I gonna be the main singers. Okay?
尤其是我和贾斯丁的当主唱 好吗
Just admit you can't sing.
你就承认不会唱歌♥吧
Oh really? Okay, fine then, but Brett can,
是吗 那好吧 但布雷特会
and I'm amazing at lip syncing. So watch this.
我很擅长对口型 看好了
**Fall on your knees*
*双膝跪地
**And hear the angels voices*
*聆听天使之音
**Oh night divine oh night*
*在这神圣的夜
**When Christ was born*
*耶稣降世
So that's obviously going to work okay?
这明显能行吧
So then, when we're busy distracting Vince,
当我们吸引文斯注意力时
Burski is gonna sneak in okay?
伯斯科会溜进去
Burski's always all sneaky and crafty.
伯斯科总是偷偷摸摸的 身手灵活得很
He's gonna grab one of the dogs
他会抓起其中一只小狗
and then he's going to test the dog's DNA
再验狗的基因
and then what's going to happen is
这样我们就可以
we're going to find out if Mo's the real father.
查出小汽是不是生父
It's the perfect plan, dude. Yes!
计划很完美 棒
I think maybe I could have a good luck kiss.
给我个幸运之吻吧
I mean, you might as well.
你还是亲了为好
Everyone kind of wants us to be a couple.
大家都希望我们是一对
Everyone is even calling us "Lursky".
每个人都叫我们"莱斯科"
What people? My parents.
哪些人 我父母
And I have no one. Yay!
我是单身狗 亲亲都没有
Well, I'm going to go and get ready for my Christmas party.
我得去准备我的圣诞派对了
Are you going to bring your son?
你要带你儿子来吗
Oh no, he spends Christmas Eve with his dad.
不 他和他爸过圣诞夜
So, I spend Christmas Eve drinking and crying.
我圣诞夜都是借酒消愁
No way, me too!
不会吧 我也是
You know, guys, I feel like this silly plan could actually work
姐♥妹♥们♥ 如果文斯和他的团伙喜欢颂歌♥
if Vince and his gang like caroling.
我觉得这蠢计划也许能行
Like, wait, like his gang of friends? Haha, no his prison gang.
他的亲友团 不 是他的狱友团
He runs a house for guys who just got out of jail.
他开了家小客栈 供刚出狱的人休息
What, I think it could work.
怎么 我觉得能行
Why do I wear these elf shoes?
我♥干♥嘛穿这种精灵鞋
Oh man. No, Danny.
天啊 不 丹尼
What are you doing?
你在干什么
Hey, you know what? Save yourselves. Tell Charlotte I was brave!
算了 你们保重 告诉夏洛特我是勇士
Hey, guys. You want to see
伙计们 你们想瞧瞧
how we do things in the North Pole? Ha!
在北极我们是怎么教训人的吗
Ha! Oh no! They're using my head as a battering ram!
他们把我的头当攻城锤一样撞来撞去
Hey! Stop it! No!
停下 不要
So yeah. Doesn't he look like an elf, though?
但他看上去是不是像个精灵
Justin, hey, Justin,do your elf voice. I'm not doing an elf voice.
贾斯丁 学精灵说话 我才不要
Do it! Gosh, golly. Vince. Yes, of course.
给我学 天啦撸 遵命文斯
Welcome to the North Pole. We're gonna have cake later.
欢迎来到北极 稍后我们会吃蛋糕
Turns out Vince and his gang are actually pretty cool.
我发现文斯和他那帮狱友还挺有趣的
Oh, my goodness.
天啊
I am so glad that you are defending your friends.
看到你挺身而出保护朋友 我真高兴
It kind of makes me want to start a street fight
这让我有点想挑起街头斗殴
just so you'll protect me.
好让你保护我
Getting turned on just thinking about it.
想想我就欲♥火♥焚身
She's so scary.
她好吓人
I know. I love it.
我知道 我爱死了
Alright, Vince, did you bring the mama dog?
好了文斯 你带来那只母狗了吗
Oh, my god. She must have had a nice personality, eh mate?
天啊 小汽看上她一定是因为她心灵美
Turns out Mo likes dem ugly bitches.
原来小汽喜欢那种丑丑的母狗
Okay, everybody stop goofing around.
行了 大家把手边的事放下
Now, here in my hands,
现在 我的手中
I've got a do it yourself dog paternity test.
是一份我们自己做的狗狗亲子鉴定书
We're gonna try to figure out if he's the father.
我们要弄清楚小汽是不是孩子的父亲
I think you should announce it like Maury Povich.
我想你可以模仿脱口秀主持人莫里·波维奇
Maury Povich. That's a good call. That's a great call.
模仿莫里·波维奇来宣布 好主意 说得对
Okay, what we have here is a classic tale of doggy trouble.
摆在眼前的是一场典型的狗狗引起的麻烦
Now, Vince says that this beautiful dog here
文斯说 这只美丽的母狗
was knocked up by Mo,
被小汽搞大了肚子
and that these six puppies are Mo's.
并且这六只小狗是小汽的孩子
But Candace, Candace believes that Mo would never,
但坎迪斯相信 小汽绝不会
ever, ever be around a tramp like this.
绝不会围着这样一个荡♥妇♥转
I said it, I said it! I said it! I raised him right!
是我说的又怎样 我悉心教导过他
That's's enough. That's enough.
够了 够了
Now, here are the results
现在我要宣布
in the case of Mo and the bastard puppies.
小汽与私生狗一案的结果
Mo, Mo.
小汽 小汽
Mo. You are not the father!
小汽 你不是这些狗的父亲
You know what? Okay. Guys, guys, guys... Come on.
知道吗 行了 大伙们 拜托
It's... it's Christmas.
今天是圣诞节
Vince, we will help you find a home.
文斯 我们会帮你找到安置小狗的地方
We'll pair the local shelter and give these puppies a home.
我们去找动物避难所 给小狗们一个家
That'd be really nice. Thanks.
那真是太好了 谢谢
Hey, ride or die.
为你赴汤蹈火在所不辞
Ride or die, brother. Aztecs forever, dude.
我也是 兄弟 阿兹特克精神永存
See you Rooster, Big Tiny,
下次见了 鸡♥巴♥脸 小"兄弟"
Raw Dog, Benji, Cop-Killer,
不戴套 没头脑 警♥察♥杀手
Mom Dropper, Dad Lever, Glenn.
娘亲不爱的 爹爹不疼的 还有花♥花♥公♥子♥
All right, so we wrapped that up
事情圆♥满♥完成