把妹大作战（2014）

Should we go to a party tonight?
我们今晚要出去狂欢吗
No way! It is Friday night at 8:00,
想也别想 现在是周五晚上八点
and that is the best time for staying in and watching television.
正是呆在家里看电视的好时候
Let's see what's on NBC.
看看NBC电视台在放什么吧
Yeah, that's not TV, mate.
这不是电视 伙计
That's the new security feed.
这是新装的监控录像
Good. For a second there, I thought
吓死我了 我还在想
NBC had really bottomed out.
NBC真是彻底堕落了
Are you just going to stare at me all day?
你准备就这样盯着我看一整天吗
You're right, you're right.
你说得对 你说得对
We're working. I'll try to walk away.
我们在工作呢 我还是走吧
Couldn't do it.
我做不到啊
You're gonna have to walk away.
你先走
No, you walk away. No, you walk away first.
不 你走 不 你先走
No, you walk away. No, you walk away first.
不要 你走嘛 不 还是你先走
Uh-oh! Justin's walking away first!
贾斯丁先走了
Oh, no. But wait a second, there's a shark in the bar.
不 等等 酒吧里有一条鲨鱼
Shark attack!
鲨鱼攻击
Stop it!
别闹
You know I love "Shark Attack",
你知道我喜欢玩"鲨鱼攻击"
but not in front of my lady.
但别在我喜欢的姑娘面前玩这个
How is it that I had a penis
明明昨天晚上
in each hand last night and yet,
我双手分别握着一根阳物
I'm still not the gayest person in this bar?
我居然还不是这间酒吧里最基的人
Justin and Candace are so lame now that they're dating,
贾斯丁和坎迪斯逊毙了 现在他们开始约会了
they kept me up all night with their lame sex talk.
他们那差劲的调情话让我一晚没睡
She was like, "You're the one that I want",
她一直在说 "你是我想要的那个人"
and he was like "Tell me more, tell me more" ...
他就回答说 "多说一点 多说一点"
Danny, on my God, that wasn't sex talk.
天啊 丹尼 那不是调情话
We were watching "Grease" and singing along.
我们在看音乐剧《油脂》 还跟着唱呢
That would explain why you said you
这倒是能解释你为什么说
wanted to "Rama-lama-lama Justin's ding-ity ding-dong."
你想"巴拉巴拉贾斯丁的叮叮叮咚"
God help me, I can't resist a good "Grease" sing-along.
天啊 我真是无法抗拒跟唱好听《油脂》歌♥曲的诱惑
How do you keep coming up with new ways
你是怎么做到不断变着法儿
for saying things that men never say?
说出那些男人永远不会说的话的
Seriously, I can't believe you thought
说真的 我真不敢相信你居然以为
Justin and I were already sleeping together.
我和贾斯丁已经开始上♥床♥了
We've only been together for... like two weeks.
我们才在一起...差不多两周
We're ladies. Right, Les?
我们可是矜持的淑女 对吧 莱丝
Wait. How long did you and Mike wait?
等等 你和麦克在做之前等了多久
Let me see, I met him here at the bar,
我想想 我在酒吧遇到了他
I walked him to his car.
我陪他走到他车里
How long was that?
这算多久
Okay. Definitely something wrong with the security feed,
好吧 监控录像肯定有哪里不对
because now it's just showing a random crowd.
因为它现在放着一伙人的画面
Whatever they're watching, they sure seem to be enjoying it.
不管他们在看什么 他们一定很喜欢
They should probably tell some friends.
他们应该介绍给朋友
Oh Danny, I feel like we've known each other for years.
丹尼 我觉得我们好像已经认识很久了
I know.
我知道
I can't believe it was just 20 minutes ago that we met on Tinder.
真不敢相信我们是二十分钟前在陌陌上认识的
Hello, kids.
孩子们好啊
Oh, Danny, I just got a text from you.
丹尼 我才收到你的短♥信♥
Yeah. You don't have to check it anymore.
好吧 你不用看了
It said, "Don't come home."
短♥信♥写的是 "别回家"
Hi! I'm Candace.
你好 我是坎迪斯
This is Justin. My boyfriend.
这位是贾斯丁 我男朋友
My beau. My li'l bitch.
我男票 我的小婊砸
Okay, Don't poke me. Don't poke me in public.
好了别捅我 别在大庭广众之下捅我
Let's just stop it. Stop it! You guys are really cute.
别这样 停 你们真是太甜蜜了
Yeah god. You guys are so cute. Bye.
是啊 你们太甜蜜了 再见
When did you guys meet? Oh, good, you're asking questions!
你们什么时候认识的 你开始问问题了
Justin, can I talk to you over here for a second, please?
贾斯丁 可以过来说几句话吗
I've always dreamed of this...
这是我一直梦寐以求的
me with my bae, you with yours.
我带上我女人 你带上你的
If this keeps up, four tickets on a Disney cruise, please.
如果继续下去 我们可以组团上迪士尼邮轮了
Hey man, hey, hey... What the?
喂 伙计 你发什么...
How do you not understand that you're not wanted here, okay?
你怎么还不明白我不希望你在这里
In about five minutes this is going to be my underwear.
五分钟之内 我就要脱了内♥裤♥披奶油上阵
Roger that, I get it. Yah, I got it. Stop it.
明白 收到 懂了 别闹
Yeah. My ex-boyfriend Trent, he was the worst.
是啊 我前男友特伦特最差劲了
He tried to get me into bed before he even knew my last name.
他还不知道我的姓就想把我骗上♥床♥
But, Justin, I'm so lucky that I met you.
但 贾斯丁 认识你是我的幸运
Not only does he know my last name, but this morning
他不仅知道我的姓 而且今天早上
when we snuggled under my comforter....
我们在被子下面紧紧相拥时
We call it "the secret blanket".
我们称之为"秘密之毯"
He said if we would ever get married, he would take my last name.
他说如果我们结婚 他会跟我姓
Babe, do you... not get the meaning of a secret blanket?
宝贝 "秘密之毯"的意思你不懂吗
Ugh, I keep ending up with guys who are like your ex.
我总是和像你前任一样的男人在一起
Oh, please. Danny knows your last name, right, Danny?
不会啊 丹尼就知道你的姓 对吧
Ah... of course, I know Jenny's last name.
我当然知道珍妮的姓了
My name's Judy.
我叫茱迪
Guys, I would like to introduce you to Jenny Judy.
各位 我要向你们介绍珍妮·茱迪
Hey, did you guys read the news?
你们看新闻了吗
"Playboy" magazine aren't doing nudes anymore.
《花♥花♥公♥子♥》杂♥志♥不再放裸照了
That's weird. Does the Internet still exist?
真奇怪 互联网还存在吗
Yeah. I think I'll be fine.
是啊 那我就没事了
Take it to church!
去教堂吧
What does that even mean, Shel?
这句话什么意思 小谢
It's my new catchphrase.
这是我新发明的口头禅
When I saw myself on the security feed, it made me think,
当我看到监控录像里我的身影时 我开始思考
if I was a TV character,
如果我是电视剧里的角色
I'd definitely have a popular catchphrase.
我一定要有一句朗朗上口的口头禅
Danny, Danny, are you seriously mad at me for talking to someone?
丹尼 你居然因为我和别人说话生我气
I was just being nice to that girl.
我只是在对那个姑娘表示友好
Yeah, but you took away my chance to be...
可是你夺走了我...
very nice to that girl.
"好好"对那姑娘的机会
Okey. Well, I'm not gonna apologize
好吧 我才不会因为对
for being kind to someone that you don't even care about.
一个你根本不在乎的人友好而道歉
Hmm. Take it to church!
去教堂吧
Hey, man.
哥们
Why do you do that? Why would I do that?
你为什么要那样做 我为什么要那样做
Well, I did that because your girl ruined my night last night,
我那样做是因为你妹子昨晚毁了我的激♥情♥夜
so now, anything that makes you happy, like ice cream,
所以任何让你开心的东西 比如说冰淇淋
I'm going to ruin that for you. Ignore him.
我都要毁了 无视他吧
Okay? If you needs a smile, check out that old couple holding hands.
如果你需要微笑 看看那边握手的老夫妻吧
Aww that does make me happy. Oh, does it?
那的确让我开心 是吗
Hey, get outta here! Go! Scram!
离开这里 滚 闪开
Get! Get! We don't want you over here.
走开 我们这里不欢迎你们
Yeah, yeah, scram! Get out! Get out!
走开 出去 出去
Hey, nobody messes with my customer. You wanna go, Danny?
谁都不许赶我的顾客 你想来吗 丹尼
Then fine. Say hi to Marvin and Gaye,
好吧 跟马尔文还有盖伊打招呼吧
because we're about to get it on...
因为我们要开始大战了
Oh yeah? Well, let me introduce to Ron Funches
是吗 让我给你介绍罗恩·方奇斯
because he likes to get high. Yah!
因为他喜欢过瘾[到高处]
Well I hope you like urban percussion troupes
我希望你喜欢城市打击乐器团
who make music with garbage cans
他们敲打垃圾桶制♥造♥音乐
because I'm about to stomp ya! Great man, you know what?
因为我要踩死你了 真不错 知道吗
Well I hope you like when contestants
我希望你喜欢选手
take five random ingredients
选择五种随机的原料
and then professional chefs judge them,
然后专业大厨进行评判
because you're about to get Ahhh! Chopped!
因为你要被砍了
Are they really about to fight? I think this is the fight.
他们真的要打架吗 我觉得这就是打架吧
Don't worry. When they run out of jokes
别担心 他们开不出玩笑后
it just kind of fades out on its own.
这场战斗就自动平息了
You know what? You're gonna be...
知道吗 你要
I hope you like... No, you watch out.
我希望你喜欢 不 你小心
Wait. Hold on. I have one.
等等 我想出一个
Well, do you have one. I'm sorry, man, look...
你到底想没想出来 抱歉 听着
Could you just talk to Candace what she did wasn't cool ok?
你能跟坎迪斯说说她做的事情不好吗
No problem, Danny, great fight.
没问题 丹尼 打得不错