把妹大作战（2014）

Yeah.
太棒了
There he is! My BF.
他来了 我最好的朋友
Come join my GF and my other BF.
加入我的女友和另一个最好的朋友吧
That better not mean "Black Friend".
最好别是"黑人朋友"的意思
Candace and I, first pumpkin we ever carved together.
这是坎迪斯和我第一次一起刻南瓜
We're gonna put a bad toupee on him
我们要给他戴个难看的假发
and call him "Donald Trump-kin"
起名叫唐纳德·特朗普南瓜[美国著名商人]
That's not going to work. It's not orange enough.
不行的 因为还不够橙
What are you making, Shel?
你在做什么 谢利
Same thing I make every year, Danny.
是我每年都做的东西 丹尼
A pumpkin bong.
南瓜烟斗
How cute is my lady's outfit?
我女朋友的打扮多可爱
I'm a pizza rat.
我是一只披萨鼠
I don't get it. Where's the pizza?
我不明白 披萨在哪呢
Mo, come here.
小汽 过来
Go!
快去
If that dog is going to be a pizza tonight
如果这只狗今晚要扮披萨
you gonna want to keep him away from me
那我点了这个南瓜烟斗之后
once I spark up this pumpkin.
你还是让它离我远点吧
Okay, I'm going to grab my tail and get out of here.
好吧 我去拿尾巴然后离开这
God, I'm crazy about her. Thank you, Mo.
天呐 我太喜欢她了 谢谢你 小汽
I'm crazy about her. Danny, you have to let me know
我太喜欢她了 丹尼 如果我哪做得不好
if I'm ever screwing this thing up.
你千万要告诉我
I just want her to know I'm always thinking about her.
我只是想让她知道我一直在想着她
I'm always thinking about you!
我一直在想着你
You're screwing it up. Okay?
你现在就做得不好 好吧
You're being way too romantic with her alright?
你对她太浪漫了
There's much easier ways to scare off a girl.
有吓跑女孩更容易的方法
Just dance like Drake.
就像德雷克那样跳舞就行
You know what I mean. That stupid video.
你懂的 那个愚蠢的视频
Danny, Danny, Danny, you beautiful, dumb bastard.
丹尼 丹尼 丹尼 你这个帅气的傻缺混♥蛋♥
There's no such thing as too much romance.
根本就不存在什么太浪漫
Okay, I'm going to meet you at the bar, babe.
好了 酒吧见了 宝贝
Okay, Ding, ding, ding!
好的 叮叮叮
Forgot to pay the hug toll.
你忘了拥抱了
What the hell is that?!
这是什么意思
Well Danny, it's this very cute thing Justin has been doing
丹尼 这是贾斯丁的一个很可爱的想法
where I have to pay a hug toll
每次我要离开时
every time I'm about to leave.
都要跟他拥抱
Here we go.
来吧
All right.
好了
Ding, ding, ding, ding! Rush hour. You know what that means.
叮叮叮 高峰期 你懂得
Hug toll doubles.
得拥抱两次
Okay!
好吧
Okay, I'll see you guys. See ya!
好了 一会见
Oh, no. Oh god! You know what?
天呐 你们知道吗
My penis just jumped off my body and ran away.
我的小鸡鸡从我身上跑掉了
Well, mine wanted to leave,
我的也想跑掉
but it was afraid it would have to pay the hug toll.
不过它害怕也要拥抱一下
Iceberg, dead ahead!
前方有冰山
Captain of the Titanic!
泰坦尼克号♥的船长
I love it!
我很喜欢
I got to say that's much better
不得不说 这比你那年
than the year you went as a ghost with a boner.
扮成一个勃起的鬼好多了
No, I went as a ghost, and then I met someone.
不 我当时是扮成了鬼 可后来遇见了一个人
Bursk, what are you? I'm Jewish Wolverine.
伯斯科 你扮的什么 犹太版金刚狼
He's like regular Wolverine but he has some stomach issues.
和普通的金刚狼一样 不过胃不太好
I've been taking probiotics
我一直在吃益生菌
but I don't know what's going on with my back
不过我不知道我的背怎么了
Les, I don't get it. What are you?
莱丝 我没看出来 你扮的是什么
Are you a lesbian librarian?
你是在扮同性恋图书馆管♥理♥员♥吗
No! I don't have my costume on yet.
不是 我还没换上服装呢
These are my real clothes.
这是我平时穿的
I should go.
我还是走吧
Oh, man, thank God I made it,
谢天谢地我逃出来了
because there was a horny police horse
刚才有个饥渴的警用马
following me around for, like, three blocks.
追了我差不多三个街区
Do you want a beer?
你想喝瓶酒吗
That means yes.
这表示"是的"
I'm going to surprise Candace with a couples costume.
我要用情侣装给坎迪斯一个惊喜
She's gonna be Goldilocks
她来扮金凤花姑娘
and I'm gonna be the bear that's "Just right."
我来扮那只"正合适"的小熊
Looks like you've agitated the centaur.
你好像惹怒了半人马
Whoa boy. Whoa boy.
天哪 天哪
Come there.
吃吧
Eat some more. There you go.
再吃点 就这样
Hey man, we've all been talking, alright?
伙计 我们都在说
You're way too romantic with Candace.
你对坎迪斯太浪漫了
We're just worried the relationship is still new
我们担心你们才刚开始
and you know, Justin, it's hard to tell someone your with,
贾斯丁 有时很难跟你在一起的人说
that you don't like something about them.
你不喜欢他的某个方面
She's right man, it took me two years
她说得对 我用了两年时间
to tell my college girlfriend
才跟我的大学女友说
that I didn't like that she was female.
我不喜欢她是女的
You gotta be careful, bubala.
你得小心点 孩子[犹太语]
I'm Jewish Wolverine.
我是犹太版金刚狼
This is the way you can ruin a relationship.
你这样会毁了这段恋情的
Yeah man, you've got to tone it down, alright?
是的 伙计 你得收敛一点 好吧
Tone down? No can do, Danny.
收敛一点 做不到 丹尼
See, my romance does Cross-fit because it's all toned up.
我的浪漫很棒 因为我很放肆
Besides, Candace loves it. Oh you think she does?
而且坎迪斯很喜欢 你觉得她喜欢吗
No, she doesn't. Alright I can prove it to you.
不 她不喜欢 我来证明给你看
Back up. Hang on right here.
后退一点 待在这里
And bam! Hey Candace, as Justin is not in the bar at all,
坎迪斯 贾斯汀不在酒吧里
could you come over here and talk to me?
你能过来跟我谈谈吗
Have a seat. You know how Justin has been
坐吧 最近贾斯丁一直
all over the top romantic lately?
非常浪漫
Does that get on your nerves at all?
你有没有觉得别扭
No! No, I love it. I think that it's great.
没有 没有 我很喜欢 我觉得这样很好
I mean, yes,
我承认
he does do a lot of stuff like the hug toll,
他的确做了很多事 比如拥抱啦
the butterfly kisses,
蝴蝶之吻
cuts all of my food into heart-shaped things
把我的食物都切成心形
and it's kind of hard to sleep with him constantly
跟他睡时 他一直摸着我的背
rubbing my back and whispering in my ear: "I'm right here."
小声说"我就在这里" 让我有点难以入眠
But no. I think it's great.
但没有 我觉得很棒
You know your words say one thing but your eyes say another.
你这是睁眼说瞎话
Look deep into my amulet.
仔细看着我的护身符
Let the truth free.
尽情说出真♥相♥
Okay. Yeah, all right.
好吧 行了
Fine, you guys.
好吧 各位
I broke it.
我直说
That's how bad the truth was.
真♥相♥就是这么难堪
It drives me crazy to be honest with you.
跟你们说实话 这都把我逼疯了
I feel really bad. I should go tell him.
我感觉很糟糕 我该告诉他
I'm going to be right back.
我马上回来
Come on!
过来吧你
Is everybody seeing this or am I just really high right now?
是大家都看到了 还是我太嗨了
Justin, when things slow down around here,
贾斯丁 等没那么忙的时候
can we talk about something?
我们能谈谈吗
Yeah! Of course. Definitely.
当然可以 没问题
Get out of here, you little rat.
去吧 小老鼠
I hope you're happy, Danny.
你高兴了吧 丹尼
A few hours ago I was imagining
几小时前我还幻想
the kids we were going to have
我们要生孩子
and now it's all ruined!
现在都完了
You're like a human birth control.
你简直是人形避孕器
You know what?
你知道吗
I know you're joking about me being birth control.
我知道你说我可以避孕是开玩笑的
That's actually a compliment, okay?
其实算是表扬好吗